Love Stinks/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Love Stinks."

Script[]

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[Night at the Loud House. Lola is in the bathroom, having finished her facial exfoliating when her phone rings, indicating time is up. She stops the timer and throws off her facial cream.]
Lola: "Ah, finished. And it only took three hours tonight. A bedtime routine record." [She leaves the bathroom as her mask and cucumber slices fall off the mirror. She then enters the twins' room and notices a foul stench.] "Eugh." [sniffs] "Ugh, that's gotta be Lana." [sets up lilac incense] "Ah, lilac spice makes everything nice."
[She gets her sleep mask from her drawer, puts it on, turns off the lights, and settles for bed. She sighs in comfort before sniffing something else. Her eyes bulge from her sleep mask as her left eye twitches. Cut to outside the Loud House, where Lola can be heard shrieking. Lana bursts into the twins' room with a bat and turns on the lights.]
Lana: "Where is it?! What happened?" [A panicking Lola removes her bedsheets to reveal a skunk sleeping peacefully on her bed.] "Yeesh, Lols, you scared me. I thought it was an emergency."
Lola: [grabs Lana by the overall straps] "There is a skunk on my Egyptian cotton sheets!" [shakes Lana] "I cannot imagine a bigger emergency!"
Lana: "That's just Ann. She caught a cold at the park where she lives and I figured, why not let her bunk with us till she feels better?"
[Ann grabs one of Lola's teddy bears and snuggles with it.]
Lola: "Ugh, fine. Just keep her away from my stuff. Skunks are so gross."
Lana: "It'll only be for a little bit. You won't even know she's here."
[Ann sneezes, getting mucus on Lola's drawer. Lana takes her away, chuckling, as Lola glares.]

[The next day, morning. Lola, with a clothespin on her nose, wakes up yawning and removes her clothespin and sleep mask. She opens a cabinet of oat milk and grabs a bottle and prepares to drink.]
Lana: "Aw, come on, Ann! You gotta drink this sausage slop smoothie to get your strength up!" [Ann gags at the food] "Here, watch." [eats the smoothie] "You don't know what you're missing."
[Ann nearly hurls. Suddenly Lana's laptop gets a video call from Liam. Lana picks up to see Liam at the farm.]
Liam: "Hey, Lana, one of my sows is birthing a jumbo litter of piglets. They're popping out faster than Mee-maw running barefoot on hot cement." [The piglets are popping out quickly as Liam catches them.] "Grab your mitt, I need me a catcher!"
[A third piglet pops out, but since Liam's hands are full with two piglets already, he's sent flying into the mud.]
Lana: [turns to Lola] "Do me a solid and watch Ann."
[Lola, who is drinking the bottle of oat milk, spits it in Lana's face and bursts out laughing before realizing Lana is serious.]
Lola: "Oh. You're serious."
Lana: [gets down on her knees and begs] "Please? I'll up my bathing to twice a month."
Lola: "And use deodorant?"
Lana: [wide-eyed] "Sure!"
Lola: [sighs] "OK."
Lana: "YEAH!" [to Liam] "Liam, I'm on my way!"
[She dons a football helmet and baseball mitt before closing her laptop and leaving. Lola continues to drink the oat milk before hearing Ann beg for it, licking her lips.]
Lola: [sighs and offers the bottle to Ann] "I guess you can have some." [Ann grabs the bottle, takes a sip, licks her lips at the taste of it, and continues to guzzle it down.] "You like that, huh? Well, hurry up and finish. I've got places to go and people to see. You'll just have to tag along."
[Ann finishes the drink and wipes her lips with her tail.]

[Lola and Ann pull up to Reininger's in Lola's jeep. They enter the store]
Lola: "I might be a while, so, uh, run along and do whatever it is skunks do."
[Ann shrugs and heads off. Enter Miguel]
Miguel: "Is that the Lola Loud?" [kisses her hand]
Lola: "Miguel, darling, just who I was looking for. The Little Miss Room Freshener Pageant is coming up, and I thought, what a great opportunity to change my signature scent." [poses]
Miguel: "We actually just restocked a bunch of perfumes that are a lot like you." [shows the perfume] "Sassy with a spritz of heart."
???: "Hey!"
[Miguel turns to the source and yelps. Ann is fighting with a woman over a scarf]
Woman: "MY SCARF!"
Lola: "Relax, Miguel, she's with me." [yells] "ANN!" [Miguel collapses] "DROP THE SCARF!" [Ann does so and returns to Lola] "If you're gonna spend the day with me, we might as well try to do something about your smell." [Ann examines the perfume and picks one] "Ooh, Feisty Freesia. You have decent taste for a skunk." [Ann shrugs it off] "We'll take two, Miguel."
[She sprays the perfume on Ann and all over the room as Miguel tries to wave it away.]

[Now Lola and Ann are at the hairstylist section, getting their hair done and ending up with new hairdos.]
Lola: "Fabulous!"

[The Loud House. Lynn Sr. is watering the lawn when Lola and Ann come back with their new hairstyles and sunglasses.]
Lola: "Daddy, be a doll and bring our bags in for us. We are exhausted from shopping. Please and thanks!" [blows a kiss and heads back in]
Lynn Sr.: "Sure thing, honey." [realizes] "Wait, was that a skunk?!"
[All of Lola and Ann's merchandise, hanging from Lola's jeep, falls on top of him.]

[The twins' room. Lola and Ann return and collapse, Lola in her bed and Ann on the floor]
Lola: "Being fabulous is a lot of work." [yawns] "I need a beauty nap." [grabs her mask and notices] "Ahem. What are you doing? You're fabulous, too, so get up here, girl!" [Ann joins her] "So, you should know, Auntie Lola is rarely wrong, but I totally misjudged you. Skunks are supposed to be all smelly and gross, but you're sweet and elegant, like moi. That's French for 'me'."
Ann: [flips her hair back] "Moi!"
Lola: "Speaking of which, Ann is an OK name, but what about something more elegant, like, um... Antoinette?" [Ann nods in approval] "It's settled, then!" [kisses her] "Sleep well, Antoinette!" [puts her sleep mask on and goes to sleep]
[The newly dubbed Antoinette joins Lola in sleep.]

[Later, through Lola's point of view, she wakes up to find Lana on her bed.]
Lana: "Psst. Lols." [snaps fingers; Lola is shocked, Lana notices something and reaches for Lola, but Lola grabs Lana's arm] "Sorry. I was just trying to wake you up, then I noticed you had a bat in the cave." [Lola grabs her nose in disgust] "I'm happy to see you and Ann getting along, but it's time to release her back into the wild."
Lola: "WHAT?!" [Lana falls from the bed, while Antoinette continues to sleep] "I mean, why would you do that?"
Lana: "'Cause she's feeling better."
Lola: "Um, no. Absolutely not. We've done some serious bonding today, and I wanna keep her around, so."
Lana: "It's for her own good, Lols. Skunks need fresh air and a balanced diet. If it's too tough for ya, I can handle the release-"
Lola: [frantic] "No! I can do it. I'll take her back to the park before school tomorrow."
Lana: "Aw. I know you'd understand." [leaves]
[Lola sighs in regret]

[Tall Timbers Park. Lola prepares to let Antoinette go]
Lola: [somberly] "Well, here we are. Home sweet home." [takes out a designer bag from her backpack] "I got you a little something to, um..." [tears up] "Remember me by." [Antoinette pushes the bag away] "Antoinette, that's a designer bag!" [shoves it in Antoinette's paws] "Take it and go!" [They go their separate ways, all the while glancing back at each other with tears in their eyes. Eventually Lola can't take it anymore] "Oh, I can't do this!" [Antoinette rushes over and hugs her] "Okay, okay! But if I'm going to keep you, Lana can't know about it. So no going back to the house. We're gonna have to get creative."
[They grin at each other]

[Royal Woods Elementary. Lola is at her locker. She looks around to see if the coast is clear, then opens her locker to check on Antoinette, whose stench wafts out of the locker.]
Lola: "I'll be back after class." [notices the stench] "And I'll run home later and grab some of your scented toiletries." [Antoinette takes out a bottle of oat milk] "OK, I'll get more oat milk, too." [kisses her and gets disgusted by the stench]
Lana: [off-screen] "Ready for math?"
[Antoinette hurriedly closes Lola's locker as Lana approaches.]
Lola: "Lana!" [her locker briefly opens, but she closes it] "You scared me!"
Lana: "Aw, my bad. Hey, can I leave my pocket dirt in your locker? Mine's already full, and the dirt is heavy today."
Lola: [frantically] "No!" [realizes] "Um, I mean, no." [chuckles] "I'll help you carry it."
[Lana puts the dirt in Lola's bag and walks away, whistling. Lola struggles to carry the dirt as she follows her twin. Antoinette opens the locker, guzzling the oat milk bottle before realizing it's empty. She notices another student walking by drinking a bottle of milk and smiles.]

[Later, the bell rings as Lola returns to her locker with a takeout box.]
Lola: "Time for lunch, Antoinette. I hope you like tempura, 'cause that's my usual Monday go-to." [realizes her locker is open] "Antoinette?" [checks her locker] "No! No, no, no!" [grabs the bottle of oat milk] "Antoinette!" [rummages through her locker]
Principal Huggins: "Ahem." [Lola turns around to see the principal covered in her stuff with the tempura on his head] "Everything okay, Miss Loud?"
Lola: [lying] "Fine! Totally, perfectly fine." [sheepishly chuckles]
Principal Huggins: "Well, please be more careful when you throw things." [removes the tempura and eats it] "Mmm."
Lola: [panicking] "Oh, where are you, Antoinette?!"

[The cafeteria. A girl is carrying a tray of food and milk when Lola opens the door and slams it in her face. Meanwhile, David and a girl are at a table eating their lunch]
Girl: "I know, right?"
[Suddenly Lola lifts the table up, causing both students to rocket to the ground.]
Lola: "Antoinette?" [crawls under another table] "Antoinette?" [lifts another tray] "Antoinette?" [continues crawling]

[Later, Lola's class is having a history lesson]
Mr. Sayers: [dressed up as Abe Lincoln] "President Lincoln turned to the crowd and valiantly said--" [catches a whiff of a foul stench] "Crud on a cracker, it reeks in here!"
Girl: "Ew, what's that smell? I think it's coming from the vents!"
[The smell is indeed coming from the vents]
Lola: "Mr. Sayers, I vote that we hold the rest of class in the hallway."
Mr. Sayers: "Good idea, Lola. Let's move out."
[The class moves into the hallways. Lana stops in her tracks when she hears the creak of a vent, then peeks into the classroom to catch Lola sneaking into the vents and furrows her brows when she suspects what's going on.]

[Lola continues to crawl through the vents, disgusted when she sees spiders inside the vents. She takes a loud gulp and continues forwards, catching a series of paw prints. Smiling at a potential lead, Lola follows the paw prints, only to catch three rats playing cards. They hiss at her for intruding, and she sheepishly chuckles and leaves.]

[Another teacher is teaching the weather cycle to her students when Lola suddenly drops down from the vents, and quickly leaves. Lola continues to crawl through the vents and stumbles upon the teacher's lounge, where Ms. Allegra is partying as her fellow teachers applaud.]
Teachers: "Woohoo!" / "Yeah!" / "Yeah, all right!" / "Go get it!"
[Lola does some more vent crawling and reaches Principal Huggins's office.]
Principal Huggins: [with a clothespin on his nose] "Run the AC full blast, Cheryl. We're gonna knock that smell out."
Lola: "No! No! Not the AC!" [Cheryl activates the AC at full blast, and it's so strong it propels Lola through the vents... straight into Lana.] "Lana?!"
Lana: [accusatorily] "I knew it! The weird smell, the way you've been acting..." [realizes] "You brought Ann here instead of the park, didn't you?!"
Lola: "Uh, it's Antoinette." [lying] "And no, I just love crawling around in air vents! It helps me get my steps in." [realizes] "Ugh. OK, yes, I did."
Lana: "Lola, how could you?!"
Lola: "I've never felt this way about a friend before. We have so much in common. It's like she's a stinkier mini-me. Lana, I can't let her go. Now, are you gonna help me find her or not?"
Lana: "Fine. But I'm the animal expert, so if we're gonna find her, you'll need to follow my lead." [heads off]
Lola: [points ahead] "Found her." [Antoinette is crawling in the vents, scared, when she spots Lola and goes wide-eyed in delight. They embrace each other] "You had Auntie Lola worried sick!"
[Lana crawls to where Lola and Antoinette are hugging it out. The vents begin shaking under their weight]
Lana: "Do you guys hear something?"
[The vent collapses and they crash to ground level, where Cheryl and several students are looking at them.]
Cheryl: [panics] "SKUNK, Y'ALL!"
[Everyone starts panicking]
Lola: "Stop! You're scaring her!"
[Antoinette is so scared she unleashes a powerful spray on defense. It's so bad it fills up the entire school as several students burst out of the building in panic. The stench clears up with Principal Huggins coughing]
Principal Huggins: "I'm calling animal control!" [goes to do so]
Lola: [stops him] "NOOO! Please don't call animal control! I'll take the skunk back to where she belongs."
Principal Huggins: "Wait, you're responsible for this? I had my money on Lana."
Lola: "No, I brought Antoinette to school because I couldn't bear to part with her. But you were right, Lana. She needs to be in the wild. I was being selfish."
Lana: "Nah, you just got attached. I get it. I've had to release lots of furry friends back in my day, but don't worry. You two can still hang out."

[Tall Timbers Park. Ann is living in a tree fashioned into a house. Lola, having brought fashion cream in a basket, knocks on Ann's door, and they delightedly kiss each other.]
Lola: [offers the basket] "Here. Just because you're back in the wild doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself."
[Suddenly Liam chases his piglets through the park, splashing mud on Lola and Ann.]
Liam: "Get back here, little piggies! It's bottle-feeding time!"
Lola: "Oh. Our own personal mud masks!" [shares a laugh over it with Ann; they hug] "Nature is classier than I thought."
[Iris out on the duo. The end.]