Pasture Bedtime/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Pasture Bedtime".

Script[]

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[Episode begins at school. Liam opens his locker while being joined by his friends.]
Liam: "Well, we're all set for tonight, fellas. Pa said we can bunk in the barn as long as we don't wake the chickens."
Lincoln: "The barn?"
Zach: "Cool!"
Rusty: "Can't wait!"
Liam: "Same here, I'm more excited than a skeeter on a cow pie!"
Clyde: "Liam, it's a real honor to be invited to your first sleepover. [Holds up a bag of medicine.] "I got my hay fever medicine, and I'm ready to [Shouts and clenches his fists.] RAGE! [Normally] Rage responsibly of course."
Liam: "Okay, but you better hide that from my Pa. He don't like city medicine."
[Enter Girl Jordan with Artie and Mollie.]
Girl Jordan: "Hey guys, guess who just got a pool and is throwing a party? [Points to herself] "This girl!"
[Lincoln and the boys exclaim in excitement.]
Rusty: [Whispers to the boys] "Guys, boy/girl party. Good thing I've been doing my crunches." [Holds his breath and thins out his chest.]
Girl Jordan: "Great! See you tonight."
Clyde: "Tonight? Dang it, we already have plans."
Zach: "Whoa, whoa, wait, can't we do both?"
[The boys look at Liam for his decision.]
Liam: "Well, I reckon we could." [Feeling hurt]
Lincoln: "Guys, come on. It's Liam's first sleepover." [To Girl Jordan] "Sorry, Girl Jordan. Maybe another time."
Clyde: "You're right."
Zach: "Aww, thanks for the invite."
Girl Jordan: "Well, it's gonna be a late one, so if you change your minds, come on by." [Walks away with her friends.]
Liam: "Aww, y'all are good buds."
Rusty: [Still holding his breath] "Just to be clear, there won't be any ladies in the barn, right?"
Liam: "Just Virginia, my pig."
Rusty: [He exhales.] "Cool."

[Late evening, at Liam's barn, he gives his friends a tour of his place.]
Liam: "Now this here, is chicken manure. And that there is cow manure. And up there is the loft I fell out of."
Rusty: "Intense! Did you break anything?"
Liam: "Nah, I fell into goat manure." [Points to said manure] "That's the softest of your manures."

[Later, they set up their sleeping bags on the hay.]
Clyde: "Hey Liam, is it okay if I plug in my humidifier?"
Liam: "Sure."
Clyde: "And, what about my dehumidifier?"
Liam: "A-well, now were gonna need a little extra juice." [Holds up a chicken and puts it on a hamster wheel powered generator with the other chickens. The power turns on.]
Liam: "Alrighty then! Y'all ready to have some fun?"
[The boys cheer in excitement as they swing from the loft. Zach slams into a wooden support while the rest of them land in the haystack. Outside, they are doing a rodeo with a goat. Rusty is bucked off and flies face first into the manure.]
Rusty: [Raises his fist] "Yeah!"
Liam: [Releases the chickens from the coop.] "Round 'em up, boys!"
[They try to catch some chickens, but they crash into each other instead. An alert tone rings on Rusty's cellphone.]
Artie: [Over Rusty's phone] "Dude, look what you're missing, a 'Make-Your-Own-Sub-Station'."
Zach: "Is that the video from Girl Jordan's party?"
Rusty: "Yeah, look at all the grub."
[Liam is having fun being chased by the chickens while the rest stare at the other boys. They then attack them.]

[Next, the boys are pushing a tractor tire with Liam inside of it. Just then, another alert tone rings on Zach's cellphone. They stop - letting go of the tire - and Zach picks it up with the others watching.]
Karate Girl: [Over Zach's phone] "Check it out, Zach. Girl Jordan's party has a temp tat' station!" [Shows her butterfly tattoo on her wrist.]
Zach: "--Oh, man."
[--The camera zooms out. Liam - still inside the tire - screams as he rolls down the hill and lands into something squishy.]
Liam: "I’m okay! Landed in manure!"

[Later that night, they were playing hide-and-seek.]
Liam: [Behind a tree counting] "97, 98, 99..."
[As Lincoln, Clyde, Rusty, and Zach hide inside the coop, Lincoln receives an alert tone on his cellphone.]
Mollie: [Over Lincoln's phone] "Too bad you're not here, Lincoln. I'm planning on breaking your cannonball splash record tonight."
Lincoln: "Look at that diving board! It's gonna make a tsunami! [After he said that, Clyde has an alert on his phone.] "Another video from the party?"
Clyde: "No, just my dads checking to make sure I re-apply my bug spray." [The boys look at Clyde, unimpressed. Then, he shows his friends a video from the party.] "But, that's a video from the party."
Artie: [over Clyde’s phone] "So, this is happening." [Slides down the slide and lands in the water with the camera still rolling.]
Clyde: "You've gotta be kidding me! A waterslide?!"
Rusty: "I can't believe we're missing this! Maybe Liam would be okay with us going over there, just for a little bit." [Attempts to sneak out of the coop, but Liam pops up.]
Liam: "Found you guys!" [The others yelp in surprise.] "Boy, this is a hoot, ain't it? Best night of my life! Who needs them pool parties when you got all you can ask for right here on the farm, huh?!" [Chuckles] "Come on! Rattlesnake round-up's next!" [Leaves]
Zach: "Aww, man, he's not gonna go for it."
Rusty: "True, but what if he never knows? We can wait til' he falls asleep, and then swing by and check the party out for a bit."
Zach: "Yeah! As long as we're back before he wakes up, everything's cool."
Clyde: [Nervously] "I don't know, guys. Lying gives me stomach aches. I didn't bring any medicine for that."
Rusty: "We're not really lying, Clyde. We're just sparing Liam's feelings."
Lincoln: "Good point, Rusty, and if we happen to protect my cannonball record while we're there, so be it."
[Later, while Liam is pig wrestling Virginia, the boys are on the fences watching him from the sidelines.]
Lincoln: "We've rounded up rattlesnakes, caught frogs, and gone on five tractor rides. And Liam's not showing any sign of slowing down."
Zach: "Maybe this pig wrestling would do the trick. It looks exhausting."
Liam: [Off-screen] "Hey! You fellas wanna give me a hand?"
[Virginia was on top of Liam, pinning him down, raising her eyebrows at the boys. They've gone over there to help Liam up.]
Liam: "Ah, phew. That done tuckered me out."
Lincoln: "Yeah, tuckered me out just watching you. How about you, Clyde? [Grins slightly at him.]"
Clyde: [Nervously] "Yeah, this is the most tired I've ever been in my life. I could sleep for three days. [His stomach rumbles, grunting] "My stomach."
Rusty: "Maybe we should just hit the hay."
Liam: "Oh, no, no, no, fellas! We can't do that! Virginia likes to go the full fifteen rounds! I just need a little pick-me-up." [Liam does a quick face wash in a water trough.] "WHOO-HOO! C'mon, old gal! Let's dance."
Zach: [Giving up] "We're never going to that party."
Lincoln: [Gets an idea] "I know how we can tire him out."
[Cuts to five bottles being filled with milk, from a goat. Liam hands a glass to each of his friends.]
Liam: "Huh, didn't think you city slickers would have the guts to try fresh goat's milk."
Lincoln: "Well, country life is growing on us."
Clyde: "Yep. I can stay in this farm forever!" [His stomach rumbles again as he groans in pain.]"
[Liam chugs down his milk while the others dump theirs to the side pretending they enjoyed it, smiling nervously.]
Liam: "I don't know 'bout you, fellas. But, I'm feeling mighty bushed."
[The others exclaim that they're tired, too. The camera cuts to late night where the crescent moon shines.]
Liam: "Been a swell night, boys. See y'all when the rooster starts a-crowin'."
[A few seconds after Liam falls asleep, Rusty and Zach wake up.]
Rusty: "How did you know that would work?"
Lincoln: [Waking up, along with Clyde.] "Years of babysitting. Let's move!"
[The boys sneak out from the barn while Clyde holding on to his stomach in pain.]

[Cuts to the boys arriving at Girl Jordan's pool party. The music is playing, kids are dancing, splashing, and hanging in the pool, applying tattoos, and eating large subs. The boys become excited.]
Lincoln: "This is even better than the party Andrew threw when he got his braces off."
Rusty: "I'm hitting the food table. I can't get my flirt on on an empty stomach."
Zach: "I gotta check out the Tat' Station."
Clyde: "I have a waterslide to ride."
Lincoln: "And I have a cannonball record to defend. Okay, guys, lets meet here in an hour to go back to Liam's. Set your alarms."
[They all do so on their watches. Rusty sets his on a vintage chain watch.]
Zach: [Unimpressed] "Really, Rusty?"
Rusty: "The ladies dig it." [The boys split to do their activities. Rusty is making his sandwich on the sub station when he sees two girls walking by.] "What's the good word, ladies?" [Squirts a condiment on his sandwich, which is revealed to be hot sauce.]
[Next, Zach is applying tattoos on his face, stomach, and his arm. The girls are applying some hair dye.]
Zach: "You got any gold or silver? Going for an alien invader DJ vibe?" [The girl hands him both cans. He applies them on his head.]
[Later, at the pool, where Lincoln and Clyde are beside it.]
Lincoln: "Anyone got any extra swimsuits we can borrow?"
Artie: "Nah, but we’re all dudes here. Just go in your skivvies. The girls are all over there."
[The boys take a glance. They see Girl Jordan and the girls petting her dog. Then, they strip to their underwear and jump in the pool. Rusty chows down the whole sandwich, then starts to sweat.]
Rusty: "Wait a minute." [Checks the condiment on the bottle.] "Hot sauce?! I thought that was ketchup! [Gasps] "My allergies!" [Rusty's face swells up] "Yikes, ladies! I can't be seen like this!" [Walks off in fear while the same two girls from before approaches the sub station.]
Zach: [After applying the hair dye] "Oh, yeah! Time to lay down some intergalactic grooves." [Sings a bit. He then rubs his hair, losing some of it, leaving a bald patch right in the middle, making him shocked.] "What the...?" [Checks the warning on the hair dye can.] "Warning: May cause severe hair loss in redheads?! What!?" [Looks around and makes a break in the pool house. When Zach turns on the light, Rusty is already there. They both scream in surprise.]
Rusty: [Through his swelled face] "I thought I looked bad."
[Zach is annoyed. Meanwhile, Clyde slides down to the pool making a splash, when suddenly, Mollie makes an announcement.]
Mollie: "Hey! Look who just showed up for the cannonball contest!"
Lincoln: "You're on, Mollie!"
Clyde: [Quietly to him] "Lincoln! They're gonna see us in our underwear!"
Lincoln: [Nervous] "Ah, I forgot! Let's get out of here!" [The boys exit the pool, trying to grab their clothes, but Girl Jordan's dog snatches them. Clyde growls in anger.] "The pool house! Quick!" [They both make their way inside the pool house, where Zach and Rusty already are. Lincoln turns on the light, and they look at each other in horror.]
Clyde, Lincoln, Zach, and Rusty: "Ahhhhh!"
Lincoln: [To Rusty and Zach] "What happened to you guys?"
Rusty: "Hot sauce."
Zach: "Hair dye."
Rusty: [To Lincoln and Clyde; muffled] "What happened to you guys?"
Lincoln: "Clothing thief."
Clyde: "We should have never left Liam's. I should have listened to my stomach..."
Zach: "We're just gonna have to stay here all night. 'Cause I'm definitely not going out there like this."
Lincoln: "We have to get back to Liam's before he wakes up, or he's gonna be really bummed that we ditched him."
Zach: "Aw, Lincoln's right, guys. Well, there's only one thing to do. Rusty, go use your scary face as a diversion while we make a getaway." [Rusty doesn't like that idea and frowns back at Zach.]
Lincoln: "No, Zach, we're doing this together. We'll just stick to the shadows and hope for the best."
Zach: "Okay." [Brings Rusty in front of him.] "Walk in front of me, Rusty. You're taller."
[As Zach forces Rusty in front of him, the boys leave and sneak behind the pool house.]
Mollie: [At the diving board] "Cannonball contest is on!" [Looks around and becomes annoyed] "Where's Lincoln?"
Lincoln: [Nervously] "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!" [The boys go over to the wall, but their alarms go off.] "Agh! Dang timers!"
[Just then two lights shine on them, getting everyone's attention.]
Kid: "What's wrong with his face?"
Rusty: "Don't mind us. Just on our way out."
Clyde: [sheepishly] "Great party."
[They smile sheepishly and look at the gate. All the kids watching them bring out their cell phones and record the footage.]
Lincoln: "That's our only way out! Remember guys, we're doing this together!"
[While the four friends make their way out, all the party guests chatter and laugh while they take pictures on their cell phones.]
Kids: "What happened to his face?/So embarrassing!/Look at them go./ [To Lincoln and Clyde] Ooh, nice undies!"
[They finally reach the gate and make a run for it. But Lincoln comes back.]
Lincoln: "I just need to grab my...[He is about to grab his clothes, but then the dog from earlier grabs them, and rips them to shreds; deadpanned.] Never mind." [leaves]

[The next morning back at the barn, a rooster crows.]
Liam: [Yawning, waking up] "Boy, that goat milk sure knocks me right out."
[The boys exclaim in agreement.]
Lincoln: "Oh, yeah."
Zach: "Slept like a log!"
Liam: [deadpan] "Really? Was that before or after y'all went to Girl Jordan's party?"
Rusty: "What do you mean?"
Zach: "Whose party?"
Lincoln: "We don't know a 'Girl Jordan'."
Liam: "Oh, come on guys. [To Rusty] "Rusty looks like he kissed a beehive," [To Zach] "Zach looks like he's been run over by a lawnmower," [To Lincoln and Clyde] "and you two are in nothin' but your skivvies. I weren't born yesterday."
Lincoln: [Feeling guilty] "You're right, Liam. We did go. And we're really sorry. Girl Jordan's party just looked so fun. They had subs and a waterslide and--"
Liam: [Cuts Lincoln off, feeling sad] "Yeah, I know, I know. People were texting me from the party, too. I just thought we were having a good time here so, I didn't say nothin'."
Clyde: "We were having a good time. We never should've left."
Rusty: "Sorry, man. We stink."
Zach: "And if it makes you feel any better, we definitely got what was coming to us at Girl Jordan's."
Liam: "Oh, I know. I got that text, too." [Shows them a recording of the boys exposed at the party yesterday.]
Clyde: [Pauses the video] "We don't need to re-live it."
Rusty: "So, we still friends?"
Liam: "I reckon. You fellas can't shake me that easily. Now, come on! This party ain't over yet. You can't leave without a big ol' farm breakfast."
[The boys cheer and follow Liam. Cuts to the dining table where breakfast is served with a huge plate of bacon and eggs. They're all having breakfast.]
Lincoln: "Wow, Liam, this is some good bacon."
Clyde: "Yeah, I'll say. Can't get enough!"
Liam: "Well, you can thank Virginia." [Everyone else is stunned at that statement.] "Well, she did lose the wrestling match. She knew the rules." [Rusty leaves to throw up while Clyde faints. Fortunately for Liam, Virginia is right at the window.] "Aww, that was just a little country humor." [Chuckles, but speaks threateningly to his friends.] "But seriously, don't cross me again." [Enjoys a piece of bacon while Lincoln and Zach are left speechless.]