Mexican Makeover/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Mexican Makeover".

Script[]

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[At the Casagrandes' apartment, Rosa gets a call.]
Rosa: "Ssh, kids, turn the TV down it's mi mamá, your great grandmother calling from Mexico."
[Answers, a parrot speaks to her.]
Paco: [Squawks] "Hola, Rosa. What a sight for sore eyes, you haven't aged a day."
Rosa: "Paco, you learned English."
Paco: "I watch a lot of cable. Call now for a limited time offer…"
[The phone is taken by Rosa's real madre.]
Mama Lupe: "Rosa, hija, I'm all packed for my trip to the US, I can't wait to see you, and the family."
Rosa: "We can't wait either, I'm going to make enchiladas just like you used to make."
Mama Lupe: "Gracias Mija, I'm glad to hear you're carrying on our family traditions. Your cousin Tacho's niños were just visiting from California, they have no interest in our culture, they just want to eat American food, and watch American televisión."
[Meanwhile, four of Rosa's nietos are eating burgers, hotdogs, and corndogs, and watching 'The Dream Boat'.]
Dream Boat Announcer: "Will Janet find her first mate? In The Dream Boat?"
Mama Lupe: "They don't even speak Spanish."
Bobby: [Offscreen, to his hermana and primos.] "'Sup." [Rosa gasps. Bobby is wearing blue shorts with white stars, a white t-shirt with red stripes, and a 'USA' soda drink hat.] "What are we watching?"
Mama Lupe: "My poor heart almost couldn't take it. Thank goodness you raised your family right."
Rosa: [Nervously laughs] "Of course."
Mama Lupe: "Let me say hi to those niños."
Rosa: "The kids?"
Bobby: "Come on, Janet. Go for Blake."
Rosa: "Uh…" [Sergio starts making static noises.] "Sorry, bad connection. Bye." [Hangs up] "Aye, Sergio, what do we do? If Mama Lupe sees this, her heart might give out."
Sergio: [Squawks] "Need a Mexican makeover."
[Moves the feathers on his chest aside, revealing a Mexican flag.]
Rosa: "I think you're on to something."

[The next day, CJ, wearing a white shirt and shorts, red neckerchief and sandals, walks with Carlota, wearing her folklorico dress, as she goes to angrily confront Ronnie Anne, who walks out of her room wearing a white floral dress white socks and Mary Janes.]
Carlota: "Ronnie Anne, where are my clothes?! Is this one of your practical jokes?"
Ronnie Anne: "No, I thought it was laundry day. But I did put a whoopee cushion on Abuelo's chair."
Hector: [Sits down offscreen] "Oop, ah, excuse me!"
[Ronnie Anne laughs, and Carl walks up in his underwear.]
Carl: "Why are my chonies so fancy?"
[Carl is wearing white floral underwear. Just then Bobby walks up wearing a sombrero, brown leather jacket, vest and pants, green tie, and white pointy boots.]
Bobby: [Not minding his attire] "I don't think these are my pants but I like 'em. And there are little toys on my shoes." [Plays with the spurs.] "Wee!"
Rosa: [Offscreen] "Buenos días, time for breakfast."
[The kids enter the living room and are amazed by what they see. The living room has been decorated all Mexican.]
Ronnie Anne: [Walks up to her abuela.] "Good morning, Abuela, what's with all the decorations? And did you put these clothes out for us?"
Rosa: "It's buenos días, and yes. What's wrong with embracing our traditions?"
Hector: [Hugging a plate of food.] "I'm embracing them."
[Is about to eat, but Rosa takes it.]
Rosa: "No time for you to eat. Shouldn't you be practicing with your band? I thought you could learn some mariachi songs by dinnertime."
[Escorts him away, as the kids sit.]
Ronnie Anne: "Um, Abuela, are these chilaquiles a little spicier than usual?"
Carl: [Scoffs] "It's just a little hot chile." [Eats and blows fire] "Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot!"
Rosa: "Growing up we always ate spicy food. I'm trying to build your tolerance."
CJ: [Laughs] "You guys are wimps."
[Drinks hot sauce straight out of the bottle.]
Bobby: [Dazed] "Yeah, total wimps."
[Tries to eat another bite, but passes out.]
Ronnie Anne: "Uh, maybe I'll play it safe and stick with the pancakes."
[Eats one, and blows even more fire than Carl. She falls to the ground.]
Rosa: "They're jalapeño pancakes."
Ronnie Anne: [Gets up, choking] "Milk! Milk!"
Sergio: "Say leche, leche."
[Ronnie Anne grabs Carlitos' sippy cup right from his hands and starts drinking. Carlitos is not happy about this.]
Rosa: "That's Carlitos' ghost pepper leche!"
[Ronnie Anne spits it straight up and it gets in her eyes, she spits more out and it gets in her primos' and hermano's eyes.]
Bobby: "It burns!"
CJ: "Ow, my eye!"
Carlota: "Ow, my eye!"
Rosa: "Not 'Ow, my eye'! ¡Ay, mi ojo!"
Carlitos: [mimics his abuela] "¡Ay, mi ojo!"
Rosa: [approvingly] "Muy bien."

[Later, Rosa puts cucumber slices on Ronnie Anne's eyes, she's already done the others.]
Rosa: "There you go, that should take down the swelling."
[The sound of a sticker gun goes off as Ronnie Anne takes the slices off her eyes. She gasps. The entire room is lined with labels of every object's Spanish translation. Rosa shoots one reading "ventana" on the window.]
Ronnie Anne: "Why are there labels on everything?"
Rosa: "Aw, these are just to help you learn more Spanish."
[She shoots Bobby on the forehead with a label reading his Spanish name.]
Bobby: "Roberto, that's me." [Starts feeling the pain and drops to the floor.] "Ow."
Rosa: "Don't worry, I've got labels for everybody."
[The rest of Rosa's nietos grin, and bail before they get shot with their names.]
Ronnie Anne: [Points to the door] "Let's make for the-" [Dodges another label that lands on it.] "¡puerta!"
[Ronnie Anne, Bobby, Carlota and CJ make it into the other apartment, but Carl gets stuck outside.]
Carl: "Hey! Let me in!" [A shadow covers Carl, he turns and gasps. Inside 2B, the kids hear another label being shot, they open the door for Carl.] "She got me right in the..." [Shows the label on his behind.] "...pompis."
Ronnie Anne: "What is up with Abuela?"
Frida: [Giggles] "Whatever it is, I'm loving it." [The kids look at her] "She asked me to paint a mural of the history of Mexico."
Carlos: "I'm helping with historical accuracy. Speaking of history, Abuela wanted me to teach you all the full history of the Casagrandes."
[Takes out a pile of books, then drops it on Bobby's foot. He prepares to scream in pain, but then realizes.]
Bobby: [Perfectly fine] "Actually, I don't feel anything with these boots on."
Ronnie Anne: "Okay, we need to figure out what's going on with Abuela."
[CJ and Carlota agree and the three take off. Meanwhile, Carl is stomping on Bobby's other foot.]
Carl: "Did you feel that?"
Bobby: "Nope, still nothing."
[Carl continues]

[Back in 2A, Rosa sets down a cactus, turns around, and is horrified that her nietos have all changed into their regular outfits.]
Rosa: "¡Familia! Why are you in those clothes? Go get dressed."
Ronnie Anne: "Abuela, what's going on?"
Carlota: "What's with the clothes?"
Carl: "And the labels?"
Bobby: "And the spicy food?
Rosa: "Just do this for me, por favor."
Sergio: [Squawks] "She landed!"
Rosa: "It's too late! Mama Lupe is here! I have to go pick her up."
Ronnie Anne: "I thought you were excited to see your mom."
Rosa: "I am, I just hope she survives the visit."
The Kids: [Out of sync] "What, why?"
Rosa: "I didn't want to put this on you kids, but if Mama Lupe finds out we're not carrying on our family traditions, she could…"
Sergio: [Squawks] "Go adiós, forever."
[The kids gasp.]
Carlos: [Enters with Frida] "Once my cousin, Tacho, gave Mama Lupe fast-food tacos. The shock almost did her in."
Ronnie Anne: "Maybe it's not too late, we can still pull this off. We just have to get dressed, decorate the apartment and I have to learn Spanish."
Sergio: [Squawks, and lands on her head.] "I'll feed you the words, you feed me the crackers."
Ronnie Anne: [Fistbumps Sergio] "Deal."
[The family cheers]
Rosa: [Touched] "Gracias, familia."

[Later, the mercado van arrives at the building. Rosa brings her madre into the apartment.]
Rosa: "Okay, Mama Lupe, come on in."
Ronnie Anne: "Bienvenida Mama Lupe." [Ronnie Anne is wearing her white floral dress, white socks and Mary Janes, and also has her hair in braided pigtails.] "¿Que honor bisabuela?"
Mama Lupe: "Que muchacha bonita, and you speak Spanish. Good job, Rosa."
Sergio: [Pops out of Ronnie Anne's backpack. Squawks.] "You mean; good job Sergio. Cracker me."
[Ronnie Anne gives him one and goes to her abuela.]
Ronnie Anne: "See, Abuela? We got this."
Carlota: "Oh, is Mama Lupe here?"
[Carlota enters wearing her folklorico dress, and dancing.]
Ronnie Anne: "Mira, mi prima Carlota."
Carlota: "Ah, just practicing my folklorico, as I do."
Mama Lupe: "Que linda."
Carl: "Ladies and gentlemen!" [Jumps in, wearing a luchador costume.] "Get ready for the lucha libre battle royale! Featuring me, Carl le Chupacabra of Steel! And El Super CJ!"
[Points in the direction of the other rooms, but CJ is actually behind him and elbows Carl by surprise. The square off and wrestle each other.]
Mama Lupe: [Loving it] "¡Esto es lucha libre!"
Sergio: "She's loving it."
[The boys fight is very close to Carlota's dance practice, they accidentally pull her in.]
Carlota: "Let me out!"
Mama Lupe: "Well, they're a little clumsy, but, at least they're embracing our family traditions."
Ronnie Anne: "Mama Lupe, why don't you meet us on the roof in ten minutes? Bobby-"
Sergio: [Squawks] "Roberto."
Ronnie Anne: "I mean, Roberto has a surprise for you."
[Ronnie Anne takes off.]

[On the roof, Carlota puts hot sauce on the enchiladas.]
Ronnie Anne: "More hot sauce!"
[Ronnie Anne squeezes an even bigger bottle onto the enchiladas.]
Sergio: [Squawks] "They're here."
[Rosa and Mama Lupe arrive on the roof and are both amazed by the Mexican decor.]
Rosa: "I love that our roof always looks like this."
Bobby: "Hola Mama Lupe." [Walks up twirling a lasso, with Lalo, who's wearing a bell and goat horns.] "I'm so glad you came. This is my goat, La...lito." [Laughs] "We're inseparable. Let me get you a seat."
[Lassos a chair for Mama Lupe.]
Mama Lupe: "Oy, gracias."
[Mama Lupe takes a seat.]
Bobby: "Let me take those shoes, your feet must be tired."
[Bobby lassos Mama Lupe's shoes off her feet.]
Carlota: "Here's some special enchiladas, extra spicy."
[The enchiladas are fizzing with hot sauce.]
Ronnie Anne: "Provecho, Mama Lupe."
Mama Lupe: "Que rico." [Eats one, then realizing how hot it is, spits it onto the ground. It burns through the roof of the building.] "Que picoso."
Rosa: [Brings her madre a drink.] "I'm sorry Mama Lupe."
Ronnie Anne: "My bad, we may have over-spiced that. But don't worry, that was just the first course." [Whispers to CJ and Carl.] "Quick! Order some tacos."
Carl: "On it."
[He and CJ take off while Mama Lupe has a drink.]
Ronnie Anne: "While we wait, música - la banda de Abuelo."
[Gestures to the stage, where Hector is alone.]
Hector: "Uh, my band couldn't make it, but I have a special guest guitarist… Par the produce guy."
[Par comes out and they start playing Spanish jazz.]
Mama Lupe: "Que bonito." [Suddenly Par hits the foot pedal and starts rocking out so hard the sound blows Hector off the stage. Clutching her heart.] "¡Ay no, que horrible!"
Rosa: "Par! Stop that! Whoa!" [Gets blown away]
Par: "What!? Louder!? Okay!"
[Par turns it up and the whole roof shakes.]
Ronnie Anne: [Getting blown away] "Woah!"
[Lalo runs away.]
Bobby: "¡Ay! ¡Mi chivo!"
[Carl and CJ return.]
Carl: "Okay, we called in the order." [Lalo runs past them, knocking their luchador costumes off. They are both wearing white floral underwear. Carl chuckles at the situation.] "Nice chonies."
[Frida and Carlos also arrive, carrying Frida's painting under a tarp.]
Frida: "I have finished my masterpiece."
[Lalo runs past them and they throw the painting, it starts dropping above…]
Rosa: "Mama Lupe!"
[Bobby quickly lassos his bisabuela out of the way before the painting lands on the table. The painting gets covered in hot sauce and melts.]
Frida: [Drops to the floor and sobs.] "My masterpiece!"
[Frida continues to cry, and Par plays mournful music. Mama Lupe site up and Ronnie Anne goes to her.]
Ronnie Anne: "Are you okay?"
[Suddenly Lalo knocks her over and Sergio falls out of her backpack, along with her Spanish flashcards.]
Mama Lupe: "Sergio?"
Sergio: [Squawks] "We're busted!" [Flees]
Mama Lupe: "Spanish flashcards?" [Turns to Ronnie Anne.] "You can't speak Spanish." [To the rest] "You don't know how to make enchiladas properly, and that goat is clearly a dog." [The family doesn't object.] "This is worse than the time Tacho gave me those fast-food tacos."
Delivery Guy: [Arrives] "Someone order fast-food tacos?"
Mama Lupe: [Clutches her heart] "¡Mi corazón!"
[Drops to the ground. Ronnie Anne and Rosa gasp.]
Rosa: "Mama!"
[The rest of the family gasp.]
Ronnie Anne: "We're so sorry Mama Lupe, we were just trying to be Mexican enough."
Carl: "So your heart wouldn't... you know…" [Makes explosion noises]
Mama Lupe: "Is that why you did all this? To make sure you didn't disappoint me?" [The family agrees. Mama Lupe jumps up.] "That's exactly what a real Mexican family would do! Being Mexican is not about eating spicy food or wearing sombreros, it's about familia. My heart has never felt… How you say?" [Whispers to her purse] "Más fuerte."
Paco: [Pops out. Sqwawks.] "Stronger."
[The family gasps.]
Rosa: "Paco, what are you doing here?"
Paco: [Flies out of the purse.] "Mama Lupe needs a translator too."
Sergio: [Flies to see Paco. Squawks.] "What's up, primo?"
[They fist bump.]
Paco: [Greets Sergio] "I brought our favorite Mexican dulces, now in six fun flavors."
Mama Lupe: [To her hija] "You have raised the most beautiful Mexican family I have ever seen. But I could teach them a thing or two."

[Later, Mama Lupe and CJ are having a hot sauce drinking contest. They blow fire at the parrots.]
Paco: [Moans] "Auxilio."
Sergio: [Also moans] "That means "get us some aloe vera.""
[Later, Mama Lupe and Paco are playing mariachi music. The family are amazed, and Par throws up the goats.]
Par: "Yeah! Rock on Mama Lupe!"
[Next, Mama Lupe dawns her own luchador mask and squares off with Carl le Chupacabra of Steel, and El super CJ.]
Mama Lupe: "And now! For the Mama Lupe Lucha Libre Smackdown." [Mama Lupe body slams her bisnietos. And the fight cloud abducts everyone else. Soon Mama Lupe is standing on a pile of Sergio, Lalo, all her bisnietos, her nieto, her nieta en la ley, her hija, her yerno, and el chico de los productos.] "Still undefeated!"