Achy Breaky Art/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Achy Breaky Art".

Script[]

The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[At the Art Space Gallery, a public art show is taking place. Ronnie Anne, CJ, Lalo, Carlota, Bobby, Carl and Sergio enter]
Ronnie Anne: "Woah. This art festival is pretty cool."
Carl: [Offscreen] "The free food is pretty cool too."
[Carl takes a bite out of a fancy looking piece of cheese]
Male Artist: "My cheese sculpture."
[Carl awkwardly puts the bite he took back where he found it]
CJ: "Where's Mama's artwork?"
[Sergio flies over to a corner with many snakes and a pop art of Carlos]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Something tells me that's it."
[Frida walks up to them]
Frida: [Gasps] "Hola, mis amores! I'm so happy you came to see my art. These pieces are made up of my heart, my soul..."
Carl: "...And my sock."
[Points to his sock mounted on the wall]
Ronnie Anne: "It's great Tía Frida, I bet you'll raise tine of money at the charity auction tomorrow."
Frida: [Gets excited] "I hope so. Well, go on, look, tell me all your thoughts and feelings."
[The kids look at Frida's art. Carl looks at a statue of Lalo. Bobby is impressed by what's next to it]
Bobby: "This one really speaks to me."
Ronnie Anne: "Uh, Bobby, that's a trash can."
[Bobby is in fact looking at a can full of other people's garbage]
Bobby: "I stand by what I said."
Romeo: [Offscreen] "Frida! ¡Chica!" [Runs up to Frida] "I have someone important for you to meet." [A man riding a SEGWAY rolls up, and over everybody's toes] "This is Artemio Alcaraz, art critic from the Great Lakes City chronicle." [Frida, Carlota, Ronnie Anne and Carl gasp] "His reviews can make or break and artist."
[Artemio rolls up to Frida, and over Romeo's toes]
Artemio: "Oh, I wouldn't say that. Even though it's so very true."
[Frida nervously laughs]
Frida: "So, what do you think?"
Artemio: "You'll have to read my review tomorrow. But here's a sneak peek... You're work is a wonder..." [Frida gasps] "A vision..." [Frida gasps even harder] "Truly breath-taking."
[Frida is super elated. Artemio rides away, over Frida's toes. She and Romeo happy hop together."
Romeo: "I think he's a fan Frida. ¡Magnifico!"
Frida: "I can't wait to read his review." [Suddenly her phone goes off] "Oh, excuse me, it's time for me to perform the interpretive dance that goes with my sculpture." [Tears off her dress, revealing a sparkly jumpsuit. She runs off] "¡Vamanos, mi amor!"
[Carlos follows her, wearing a red bird costume. One of his feathers lands on the trash can Bobby's admiring]
Bobby: "Woah, it's interactive."

[The next day, Lalo, Bobby, CJ, Carl, and Ronnie Anne are watching TV, when Carlota and Sergio run up to them]
Carlota: [Anxious] "Guys, Artemio Alcaraz's review of Mama's art just went live."
Ronnie Anne: "Nice, must be good right?"
Sergio: [Squawks] "Think again."
Carlota: "It's horrible."
Carl: "What?! But he said her stuff was a wonder!"
CJ: "And a vision."
Carlota: "And breath-taking, I know." [Reads the review] "Frida Puga Casagrande's art is a wonder... I wonder how it could be so bad."
Ronnie Anne: "What? Let me see that." [Takes Carlota's phone] "Her sculptures are a vision of horror. While her painting is breath-taking in it's ability to make me feel disgust." [Ronnie Anne gasps at the next part] "She should quit being an artist!"
[Everyone gasps]
Bobby: "Wow, none of those words mean what I thought they meant."
Carlota: "This will break Mama's heart."
Ronnie Anne: "Not is she never sees it."
Bobby: [Grabs the phone] "Good idea!"
[Bobby throws Carlota's phone in the trash]
Carlota: [Annoyed] "Thanks, Bobby."

[Later, Carlos, Maria, Rosa and Hector are eating breakfast, Hector reading his newspaper. Frida arrives and sees the paper]
Frida: [Gasps] "Oh. Is that the paper? I can't wait to see my review."
Ronnie Anne: [Skates by and swipes the paper] "Sorry, I need this for a school papier-mâché project. Okay thanks, bye."
Hector: [Shakes his fist] "Hey! I was reading the funnies."
Frida: "I guess I'll just read the review on my phone."
[Just then Carlota grabs the phone]
Carlota: "Uh, sorry. Mine's out of battery, I need to take yours." [Leaves. Hector picks up the cereal box] "I'll take breakfast for the road. Love you, bye."
[Grabs the cereal box and runs]
Hector: [Groans] "Now we have to talk to each other."
[Carlos, Maria and Rosa stop what there doing]

[In the mercado, Miranda pays Bobby for her groceries and leaves. Frida enters. Bobby gasps and falls over the counter]
Bobby: "¡Tía Frida! How can I help you?"
Frida: "Oh, I'm just looking for the paper, Mijo."
[Bobby sees the newspaper stand behind him. Quickly, he whispers something into Lalo's very floppy ear]
Bobby: "Uh. Newspapers? Yeah, newspapers. Uh, I know we have them around here somewhere." [They slowly walk to the newspaper stand and find it wet] "Yikes. Lalo. I'm sorry, Tía Frida, these are all ruined. Bad dog!" [Whispers to Lalo] "Good dog."

[Later, Frida walks out of her apartment, into the hallway, alone, closes the door, and is surprised to see her two oldest niños and Sergio]
Carl: "Where are you going, Mama?"
Frida: "Oh, I thought I's stop by the art festival and see how it's going. Maybe I can finally see my review."
[The boys stop her]
Carl: "We, want you to teach us your interpretive dance. Right now."
Sergio: [Squawks] "Wait, that's the plan?!" [CJ elbows him] "I mean, uh, let's get our dance on."
[Frida looks at her niños suspiciously]
Frida: [Suddenly excited] "The day has finally come!" [Hugs her niños] "My precious bebes! Of course I'll share the joy of dance with you!" [Frida chuckles and The boys are relieved. Frida rips her dress off, revealing the jumpsuit] "Prepare to feel the música!"
[Carl rips his own clothes off, having forgotten that he doesn't have a jumpsuit, rather just his choo choo chonies. CJ giggles at Carl, and Carl, realizing what he just did, covers himself and sheepishly laughs]

[Later, Carl, CJ, and Sergio are sprawled on the couch exhausted, and Ronnie Anne is making a papier-mâché sculpture. Carlota walks in with an armload of electronics, she throws it on the floor and sits]
Carlota: [Sighs] "I have collected every device in the building." [Just then, someone's phone rings. Carlota picks one up] "Hello?" [Tries another] "Hello?" [Tries another] "Hello?" [Someone answers] "Oh, hi Grandma Nakamura." [Grandma Nakamura says something] "Mr. Nakamura? Oh, he's... uh... in the bathroom, um, for the rest of the day. He had some bad shrimp. Okay, bye." [Tosses Mr. Nakamura's phone away] "I've been doing that all day."
Carl: "At least you didn't have to do a four hour interpretive dance."
[Bobby and Lalo arrive, wearing giant water tanks on their backs]
Bobby: "Well, Lalo and I had to pee on half the newspapers in town. Let's just say we're drained."
Ronnie Anne "And the other half of the newspapers are in my fake papier-mâché project."
CJ: "What is it?"
Ronnie Anne: "Who knows? Important thing is Tía Frida didn't see the review."
[Suddenly they hear sobbing across the hall. They look and see Frida holding the last paper in the entire city, and bawling her eyes out. They gasp and close the door. The tears spill out under the door]
Bobby: "Oh no! We missed a paper."
Ronnie Anne: "She must have read the review."
Carlota: "They say Artemio Alcaraz makes or breaks artists."
[Frida's tears spill through the keyhole]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Well it looks like it broke her."
Ronnie Anne: "We have to un-break her. What if she listens to Artemio, and gives up being an artist?"
Carl: [Takes out a pencil] "Then I'll find that Artemio Alcaraz and I'll break him!"
[Tries to snap the pencil, but struggles to do so]
Carlota: [Before her hermano hurts himself] "Easy, tiger. Maybe we can show Mama that the review doesn't matter."
CJ: "How?"
[They all think. Suddenly a flyer flies through the keyhole, and the tears almost break the door down. Ronnie Anne sees what the flyer is for]
Ronnie Anne: [Gasps] "Tonight's charity auction! If Tía Frida's art sells, she's believe in herself again."
Carlota: "But how will we get people to buy her work after Artemio trashed it?"
Ronnie Anne: "Artemio's is not the only opinion that matters. I think I have a plan."
[She, Carlota, CJ, and Carl race off. Bobby waddles after them]
Bobby: [Really needing to pee] "Uh, do we have time for a bathroom break?"

[That night, at the Art Space Gallery, the charity auction is about to start. Ronnie Anne enters wearing a disguise, followed by CJ and Carl whom are wearing waistcoats and ties. Ronnie Anne takes her seat and looks at Artemio, not liking him]
Romeo: "Bienvenidos, mi gente, to the Great Lakes City art auction. See a piece you like, raise your paddle to bid. Don't be shy, it's for charity. Be generosos."
[Just then, Carl clears his throat. He and CJ are by the door and blow trumpets]
Carl: "Announcing Lord Bobbert, and Lady Carlottas of Pontar!"
[Carl and CJ open the door, Bobby and Carlota are standing there, dressed as foreign royalty. People are impressed and Ronnie Anne gasps]
Ronnie Anne: [With an accent] "They're the most influential art collectors in the whole world."
Artemio: "I've never heard of them."
Bobby: "I say, I can't wait to bid on Frida Casagrande's work. I have to redecorate my yacht castle."
[Ronnie Anne groans. CJ and Carl pick up the two women sitting next to Ronnie Anne and carry them away. Bobbert and Carlottas sit next to Ronnie Anne]
Carlota: [Titters] "Yes, Lord Bobbert, anyone with taste will be bidding on this art."
[The first art piece is rolled up. Frida's pop art of Carlos]
Romeo: "Let the bidding begin at fifty dollars."
Bobby: "Fifty dollars!"
Ronnie Anne: "Bobby, we're not really supposed to bid, we're just trying to get other people to bid."
Bobby: "Right, forgot I wasn't rich. When I act I really commit."
Romeo: "¡Vamanos! Do I have sixty?"
[Crickets]
Ronnie Anne: "No one's bidding. What do we do?"
Carl: "I told you this lame plan wouldn't work. I'll get this auction going." [Does a somersault and lands on his back] "Let's go boys."
[Carl scooches away, followed by Sergio and Lalo]
Romeo: "Okay, fifty! Going once..." [Carl grabs a fishing pole off the Hector statue] "..going twice..." [Carl swings onto the cloud of marshmallows] "Sold for..." [Carl fishes someone's arm up] "Oh."
Female Patron: "Huh?"
Romeo: "I have sixty! Going... going... Sold!"
Artemio: "Where are you going to hang it? In the garbage?"
[Bobby, Ronnie Anne, and Carlota growl at him]
Romeo: "Now on to our next piece!" [Sergio pokes out between two people] "Who would like to begin the bidding?" [A woman is waving her paddle and laughing, because Sergio is tickling her] "Seventy dollars! Do I hear one hundred?"
Carlota: "Oh, better buy it before it gets any more expensive." [Bobby almost raises his paddle] "Bobby!"
Bobby: "Sorry, it's just so exciting."
[Lalo farts on some guy and he raises his arm in disgust]
Romeo: "One hundred! Do I hear One-fifty?" [Another lady gets her arm fished up By Carl. Lalo hits a man's foot. Sergio bite's someone's behind. Paddles are flying everywhere] "One hundred and fifty! Do I hear three hundred?" [Artemio doesn't know what's going on]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Don't be cheap!"
[Sergio flies through the crowd, and pinches more people into bidding]
Artemio: "Has everyone lost their minds?"
[Paddles are flying, the art is getting sold before as fast as it's rolled on stage]
Romeo: "Four-hundred! Five-hundred! Eight-hundred! One-thousand! We haven't even uncovered the art!" [Calls Frida] "Frida, your art is selling out, bring anything else you have right away. Rapido, chica." [Back to the auction] "Do I hear five-thousand?" [Carl accidentally hooks the wrong person] "Five-thousand"
Carl: [Realizes his mistake] "Oh no! Wrong fish!"
Romeo: "Sold to the very enthusiastic man with his eyes closed!"
Hector: [Wakes with a start] "I just had a nightmare, that I lost five-thousand dollars!"
Romeo: "Señor, we take cheque or cash."
Hector: "What! I was asleep! Plus she's family, I'm not buying something I can get for free at home!"
[Yanks his arm down, pulling Carl with it]
Rich Woman: "That's why my paddle went up."
[Everyone starts getting mad at Carl]
Bobby: "Oh, come, come. This is priceless art of course you wanted it."
Hector: [Recognizing his nieto] "Bobby why are you dressed like a rich bobo?"
Bobby: "I don't know who this Bobby is. But I, Lord Bobbert, must retire to my yacht castle. Bye, Abuelo."
[Bobby tries to leave, but the back of his suit is stuck under Artemio's SEGWAY. He falls on Carlota and Ronnie Anne and they all land on Carl."
Rich Woman: "Oh, so these children tricked us all into bidding on this art?"
Artemios: "I knew they were impostors!"
Frida: [off-screen] "What's going on here?"
[Frida is on stage]
Frida: "Is it true? Did you all trick these people into buying my art?"
Carlota: " We're sorry, Mama."
Ronnie Anne: "We didn't want you to give up on your art because of some dumb review."
Frida: [Laughs at the idea] "Aye! No, no, no, no. I would never give up my art. Yes, the review hurt a little, but artists must have a thick skin."
CJ: "But we saw you crying earlier."
Frida: "Oh, that, I was channeling all my pain into my new pieces. Paintings infused with my tears!"
[Reveals her new paintings, which the audience find very amazing]
Ronnie Anne: "Wow, I guess you're stronger than we thought."
Frida: "As long as you like doing it, who cares what other people think, chikita?" [Everyone bids on Frida's new pieces] "Though it is nice when you're appreciated."
Ronnie Anne: "This is great Tía Frida, we're so glad you didn't give up on your dreams."
Bobby, Carlota, CJ & Carl: "Yeah!"
Artemio: [Rolls up] "I don't get what the fuss is about. She didn't even color in the lines." [Sergio has the fishing pole. He hooks Artemis by the scarf] "Hey, what the-!"
[Sergio flings Artemio into the trash can]
Bobby: [Still thinking he's rich] "Be careful with that! It's going in my yacht castle."