| (theme song) | |
| Episode begins with a puppet show with a Princess Moon marionette and a songstrel's voiceover. | |
| BGM | [Perfect Princess Moon] |
| Songstrel | ♪ Perfect Princess Moon, she's great in every way ♪ ♪ Everything she says and does is absolutely right ♪ ♪ Her hair is silky soft, her favorite color's pink ♪ ♪ She flosses every day and she never needs to sleep! ♪ ♪ The perfect Princess Moon, she's nice in every way ♪ ♪ Always in a sunny mood, even on the cloudy days ♪ ♪ Her sugar-coated heart of gold will make everything fine ♪ ♪ She plays with puppies and kisses kitty-cats ♪ ♪ Eats her veggies and smells like lavender ♪ ♪ Perfect Princess Moon, she's a fan of smiles ♪ ♪ Perfect Princess Moon will be our Que-ee-e-e-e-een! ♪ |
| Moon Butterfly | [clapping] |
| Star Butterfly | [on interdimensional mirror] Ugghh! Mom! Worst. Song. Ever. Do I have to have one of those written about me? |
| Moon | Yes, Star. It's a tradition as old as the kingdom itself. And it's your official introduction as future queen to the people of Mewni. |
| Star | That song didn't say anything about the real you. You could plug any name into that song, and it wouldn't make a lick of difference. How about... [sarcastic] Buttercup! Sparkle! Snowflake! They all happen to love puppies and smell like lavender? Wow. |
| Moon | I don't have time for this, Star. Preparations for your Song Day celebration are already underway, and the new official songstrel of Mewni is heading to Earth to write your song as we speak. |
| Star | [groans] Fine. |
| Moon | And remember, Star, the people of Mewni like their Princess Songs light and fluffy. Can you handle that? |
| Star | Yes, Mom. [closes mirror curtains] Oh, I can handle it – by avoiding this problem until it goes away. |
| Laser puppies | [barking] |
| Scene cuts back to King River and Queen Moon in Mewni. | |
| River Butterfly | Moon, please. If I can't talk you out of going, at least take a bunch of our knights with you! |
| Moon | I told you, River, this has to stay low-key, under the radar. Besides, I've been there before. It's perfectly safe. |
| River | The Forest of Certain Death is not safe! And likely nothing on Mewni is as safe as it used to be. |
| Moon | I promise you, I can handle myself. [kisses River's cheek and gives him her crown] Hold down the castle until I return. |
| River | [sets Moon's crown down behind him] Can't you just take one little knight? |
| River turns around. Moon is gone. He looks out the window and sees her trotting away on warnicornback. | |
| River | [echoing] At least call me when you get there! |
| Scene cuts back to Earth. A dimensional portal opens down the street from the Diaz Household, and a carriage of manticores comes out. Ruberiot comes out of the carriage and rings the Diaz Household doorbell. | |
| Star | [answers door] Ha-ha. The songstrel. |
| Ruberiot | Greetings, Princess Star! I am Ruberiot. [plays lute] ♪ And may I just say ♪ ♪ Though we have much to do ♪ ♪ How much of a pleasure it is to meet you ♪ ♪ I'll write you a— ♪ |
| Star | Stop. I get it. Come in. |
| Ruberiot | So, this shouldn't take too long. [takes out pad and pencil] I just want to get to know the real Star. |
| Star | Oh, how rude of me! [laughs] I didn't even offer you anything. What can I get you? Water? Juice? Tea? |
| Ruberiot | Ha. Well, if you have mint tea, that might be— |
| Star | As a matter of fact, we do! Marco is a member of the Tea of the Month Club, and I think we just got some super-special mint tea. Right, Marco? Don't move! |
| Marco Diaz | [flipping TV channels] Tea of the Month Club? |
| Star goes into the kitchen and makes various "tea-making" noises: opening and closing cupboards, tossing teabags, etc. | |
| Star | Should be just a minute! |
| Marco and Ruberiot sit motionless on the couch. Ruberiot starts strumming his lute. Marco turns up the volume on the TV. | |
| Star | Oh, this tea is real good! [summons Cloudy] |
| Cloudy | Hey, Star! |
| Star | Cloudy! Let's get out of here. [takes out phone and flies toward mall] Hey, Janna Banana, want to go to the mall? |
| Scene cuts to the Forest of Certain Death; Queen Moon and her warnicorn walk through. | |
| Warnicorn | [whinnies, steps on bones] |
| A Venus flytrap-like monster on the ground opens its maw. | |
| Moon | Easy, girl. Almost there. |
| Moon and her warnicorn jump over the flytrap monster, and its mouth snaps closed. They continue on to a small villa with a red roof and a large tree growing through it. Moon gets off her unicorn and knocks on the boarded-up door. | |
| Lord Brudo | [in a low-hanging door slot] What is it? |
| Moon | Hello, Lord Brudo. |
| Brudo | Huh? Queen Moon. Hmph. What do you want? |
| Moon | I need to speak with you. It's very important. |
| Brudo | [grumbles] Step back. [unlocks door] Hmm. Ahem. You... you coming here to what? |
| Moon | Eh, you're... you're blocking the door. |
| Brudo | I'll move. Geez. [squeezes through door and drops crown] |
| Moon | [enters house] |
| Brudo | Not even gonna pick up a guy's crown for him. [picks up crown, closes door, and drops crown again] [grumbling] My dear, we have company. You may want to get dressed. |
| Lady Avarius | Oh, Queen Moon! To what do we owe the, uh, honor of this visit? |
| Moon | I'm sorry to intrude. Please accept this bag of corn. |
| Brudo | Corn?! We don't need corn! We're doing great, thanks! |
| Avarius | But perhaps we can find someone else who could use it! [slips bag of corn into her cloak] So, what brings you here, Queen Moon? |
| Moon | I'm here because your son took a very important book from my family. |
| Avarius | My son? Which one? Crudo? |
| Moon | Eh, no. |
| Avarius | Not Yudo! |
| Moon | Mm-mmm. |
| Avarius | Menudo? |
| Moon | Uh, nope. |
| Avarius | Ugh. Okay, I'm just gonna go down the list. Dudo, Kudo, Mudo, Tudo, Fudo, Zudo, Udo... |
| Moon | I have no idea who that is. |
| Avarius | Not Dennis! |
| Dennis | [peeks out from behind a chair] |
| Moon | No, no, it's... it's Ludo. |
| Avarius | [gasps] Ludo?! Well, w-we don't say that name in this house anymore! Not since he and his goons took over our castle and changed the locks when we were on vacation! N-Not that this place isn't lovely... |
| Moon | Do you know where he is now? |
| Avarius | We don't. You know, he is a grave disappointment to us. |
| Brudo | Well, what do you expect?! We had a lot of kids. Ludo was the runt. He didn't even fit in our family portrait. We were extra hard on him to toughen him up. And look what happened! Was he grateful? No! Instead, he destroyed our ancestral home and brought shame on the family name! |
| Moon | There, there. We can't always control the path our children choose to take. |
| Cut to Moon leaving Brudo and Avarius' residence. | |
| Moon | Thank you, Lord and Lady Avarius. If you hear from Ludo, please let me know. [trots away] |
| Dennis watches from the villa as Red leaves. Cut back to Diaz Household. | |
| Ruberiot | ♪ Where is Princess Star? ♪ ♪ Has she traveled far? ♪ ♪ I am very musically skilled ♪ ♪ But if I don't write this, I'll surely be ki— ♪ |
| The door opens. | |
| Ruberiot | Hey! |
| Star stands in the doorway wearing a sun hat and sunglasses and carrying a purse. | |
| Marco and Ruberiot | You're back! |
| Star | You're still here. ...Well, goodbye. [turns around to leave] |
| Ruberiot | Please! Princess! [kneels on the ground] I have a job to do, and I can't leave until it's done. |
| Star | And I won't stay until you're gone. |
| Ruberiot | But... what about your Song Day celebration? In just a day, the people of Mewni will be expecting us to perform the traditional Princess Song— |
| Star | Ah-ah-ah-ah! I don't want to hear it, songstrel. If you don't leave right now, maybe I'll leave for good. |
| Marco | Hey, Star! Before you leave us alone again—for a very long time with no explanation—could you help me make some more popcorn in the kitchen? [moves off-screen] Kit-chen! |
| Star joins Marco in the kitchen and gives the "I'm-watching-you" signal to Ruberiot. | |
| Marco | Please. Just do what he says. He's been singing at me for eight hours, asking where you are! |
| Star | Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want anything to do with Ruberiot and his stupid Princess Songs. My mom's was so stupid and so fake and so old-fashioned – it's just not me. |
| Marco | It's okay, Star. Everyone knows you're anything but ordinary. |
| Star | Aww. Thanks, Marco. [hugs Marco] Huuuugs. ...He's, uh... he's staring at us, isn't he? |
| Ruberiot | [stares at Marco and Star from the couch] |
| Marco | Yup. |
| Star | Ugghh! Fine. Ru-ber-i-ot – if that even is your real name – You. Me. My room. Talk time. |
| Scene cuts back to Queen Moon in the Forest of Certain Death. Something stalks her from the treetops. | |
| Moon | I know you're there. Come on out if you know what's good for you. |
| Dennis drops out from the trees in front of Moon. | |
| Moon | What do you want? |
| Dennis | It's me. Dennis. You were just at my house. |
| Moon | Why are you following me? |
| Dennis | Are you looking for my big brother because you want to help him? |
| Moon | Help him what? |
| Dennis | He's not well. |
| Moon | Do you know where he is? |
| Dennis | I can take you to him. [kneels down with his back to Moon] |
| Moon | Oh, uh... what is this? |
| Dennis | We must go by wing, M'lady. |
| Moon | Oh. ...All right, then, well, let me just... hold on... [gasping] |
| Dennis takes off into the air with Moon on her back and heads into the mountains. They rest on a mountaintop adjacent to Ludo's monster temple. | |
| Dennis | He's over there. |
| Moon uses her telescopes to see Ludo stirring broth in a pot. | |
| Moon | What is that? |
| She sees Ludo taste the soup with the wand. | |
| Moon | [deep gasp] |
| Dennis | What is it? |
| Moon | We have to go. We have to go now. |
| Ludo briefly looks straight at the camera. Scene cuts to black, then to Star's bedroom. | |
| Ruberiot | It's an honor to be your official songstrel, your Highness. I have some really exciting ideas that I can't wait to get your opinion on. |
| Star | Ruby, just stop. Please. I know my mom sent you here, but honestly, I am sorry, I can't help you. Princess Songs are objectively awful. They are these trite little puff pieces about perfect little princesses with perfect little lives, and that's not me! And songstrels like you are part of the problem! Your music just puts pressure on future princesses to be perfect! So you might as well take your stupid notebook and your stupid lute and go back to Mewni, because I have no interest in helping some stupid hack write a stupid Princess Song! |
| Ruberiot | ...Oh, really? |
| Star | Yeah, really! |
| Ruberiot | Fine. [tosses pad and pen away] But for what it's worth, I also think the songstrels before me were hacks. You didn't think I had an opinion? That maybe I had some integrity? I wanted to write a real song about a real princess with all her gifts and flaws. [pulls Star's mirror curtain] Don't Mewmans deserve to know their future queen? [voice cracking] But you won't even help me do my job! [sniffling] I might as well just take your mom's song and just plug your name in and be done with it! You know, like some kind of hack! [leaves through dimensional portal] |
| Star | Wait! Ah, no! No-no-no-no-no! Ruby! |
| Scene cuts back to the Forest of Certain Death; Dennis sets Moon down next to her warnicorn. | |
| Dennis | So, can you help him? |
| Moon | I'll... I'll do what I can. [rides away] |
| Scene cuts to Ruberiot's house; he sits in front of a piano. | |
| Ruberiot | ♪ Perfect Princess Star is great in every way... ♪ Hmm. ♪ Perfect Princess Star is— ♪ Argggh! [slams head on piano keys] It's so awful! [makes discordant note clusters with his face] ♪ Stupid Princess Song! ♪ ♪ Why do I even try? ♪ Face it, Ruberiot. You are a hack like all the rest. [crumples sheet music and tosses it away] You'll never amount to anything! |
| Star | Whoa. So you're, like, a totally tortured artist. Cool! That is a lot of paper just to plug a name into a previously existing song. |
| Ruberiot | [soft gasp] What do you want? |
| Star | You, uh... you forgot your stupid notebook. Ruberiot, do you really hate Princess Songs as much as I do? |
| Ruberiot | I do, Princess. I-I thought I could change them. I-I know they can be better. I can do better. But the show is tomorrow, and I have nothing! If I go out there with your mom's old song, I'll be just as bad as all the others. [sighs] This is bad. Why did I drop out of lawstrel school? Good-bye, aspirations. Hello, flipping cornburgers. |
| Star | Ruberiot, nothing is that bad when you have a magic wand. How about you and I turn this silly tradition into something real? |
| Queen Moon storms into her bedroom and removes her cloak while walking toward the large curtain. She uses her magic to move the curtains away, revealing a door. The diamonds on her cheeks glow, and the diamonds on her gem glow, opening the doors to reveal a suit of armor. Moon suits herself up in the armor. | |
| River | Moon, darling! You're back! |
| Moon | [draws two swords] |
| River | You're wearing that to Star's Song Day? |
| Moon | [gasps] Song Day...! |
| At nightfall, a crowd of Mewmans assembles in the Butterfly castle courtyard, purchasing Star and Marco merchandise. | |
| Salespony 1 | Get your corn slaw here! We got corndogs, kettle corn, bacon-wrapped corn... |
| Salary 2 | Get your exclusive Star Butterfly merch here! |
| Rhombulus, Lekmet, Hekapoo, and Omnitraxus Prime are seen in the royal seating box. Moon and River join them. | |
| River | [panting] |
| Moon | [sighs] Whew. Okay. We made it. |
| River | Oh, you lost one of your curlybadoos, dear. [puts curl on side of Queen Butterlfly back in place] |
| Star and Marco enter. | |
| Star | Hey, everyone! Mom, hi! |
| Marco | Hey, Queen. |
| Star | Oh, my gosh, I had the worst wardrobe malfunction. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent shoulder tassel in an Earth mall? Oh. Hey. You got a little thingy in your hair. [points at Moon's hair] |
| Moon | A what? |
| Star | A little... thingy-thing. [pulls twig out of Moon's hair] |
| Moon | Oh. |
| Star | How'd that get there? |
| Moon | [takes twig from Star] Thank you, dear. ...Star, I want to tell you something. |
| Star | I know it's not very princess-like to show up late, but did you see traffic on the Royal Mile? |
| Moon | Please, let me finish. I just want to say how... how proud I am of you. |
| Star | What? |
| Moon | I know Princess Songs aren't exactly your cup of tea, and I know I can be... hard on you sometimes, so it means a lot to me that you still went through with it. |
| Star | Thanks, Mom. But, uh... just so you know, Ruby and me, we kinda changed some stuff. I mean, it's just not gonna sound exactly like your Princess Song did. So, you know, don't freak out or anything. |
| Moon | Thank you for telling me, Star, but I trust your judgment. |
| Star | Ohhhh, thank you! But we really went off-script. It's all good, but there might be, like— |
| Announcer | And now, Mewni's newest court composer, the songstrel Ruberiot... |
| Audience | [applause] |
| Announcer | ...in honor of the Royal Family... |
| A spotlight shines on Star, Moon, and River. | |
| Star | I really hope you like it. I think I know you will, but I really hope you do. |
| A marionette of Star Butterfly is lowered onto the stage near Ruberiot. | |
| Announcer | ...presents Star Butterfly's Princess Song! |
| BGM | [The Ballad of Star Butterfly] |
| Ruberiot | [playing lute music] ♪ Who is the maid with the buttercup hair? ♪ ♪ Who sleeps on moonbeams and dances on air ♪ ♪ With tears made of honey and a heart full of bunnies ♪ ♪ Whose infinite virtues are known near and far ♪ ♪ It's Mewni's own sweetheart, our dear Princess Star ♪ ♪ And under the shimmer and rubies and pearls ♪ |
| Audience | [gasps] |
| Ruberiot tears his clothes away to reveal a glam rock outfit, and he takes out an electric guitar. | |
| Ruberiot | [playing propulsive rock] ♪ Weaving magic like a born spell-caster ♪ ♪ And wreaking havoc like a natural disaster ♪ ♪ She rocks her Narwhal Blast and Warnicorn Stampede ♪ ♪ She's gonna earn her crown, so hail to the Quee-e-e-en! ♪ |
| Audience | [cheering] |
| Ruberiot | ♪ 'Cause she's a rebel princess, she's the best ♪ ♪ She's a ball of lightning in a hot pink dress ♪ ♪ She's a thunderstorm roaring through the night ♪ ♪ She's our shooting Star, and she's lighting up the sky! ♪ ♪ Oooh ♪ |
| Rhombulus | Yeah! That's my girl! |
| Moon | What a delightful little ditty! Good job, Star! |
| Star | Oh, yay. It's not over yet. |
| Ruberiot | [playing slow, heavy beat] ♪ Shooting Star shining in the night so bright ♪ ♪ She started to attract a pair of envious eyes ♪ ♪ The villain rose up from behind the jester's cross♪ ♪ She drove him away, but didn't know what she had lost ♪ ♪ Glossaryck and her book of spells ♪ ♪ "We will keep your silence for you ♪ |
| Moon | Star? |
| Star | [strained noises] |
| Moon | Star. |
| Star | Mom, what did you expect? I told you I couldn't do some puff piece. I had to do what felt right for me. [sighs] Look, it's over now, so we just gotta move on— wait, what? |
| Ruberiot | ♪ Royal secret – one last to tell ♪ ♪ A princess under true love's spell ♪ |
| A marionette of Marco joins the Star marionette on stage. | |
| Star | [gasps] |
| Marco | Wait, is that me?! |
| Star | Uhhh, Ruberiot never told me about this part! |
| A spotlight shines on Star and Marco, and they lean away from the light. | |
| Ruberiot | ♪ Who is the boy in the earthly attire? ♪ ♪ The prince of the princess's deepest desire ♪ ♪ I don't need to show it, I think we all know it ♪ ♪ But just to be certain, I'll say it again ♪ ♪ Star Butterfly is in love with her best friend! ♪ |
| Star | [mortified] Oh, no. |
| Ruberiot | ♪ Foreeeeeeveeeeeermooooooooooooooooooooore! ♪ [panting] |
| Audience | [confused chatter] |
| Ruberiot | Hey. What's wrong? You're supposed to be clapping. |
| Audience Member 1 | Say what?! The Queen lied to us! |
| Audience Member 2 | Well, technically, it was a lie by omission. |
| Audience Member 3 | Omitters! |
| Audience | [angry yelling and booing] |
| The audience starts throwing food at Star, Marco, Moon, River, and the Magic High Commission. They take shelter inside the throne room. | |
| Star | Mom! I-I didn't realize this would happen! I thought they wanted to know the real Star Butterfly! |
| Moon | They don't, Star. They just want to believe that you're a perfect little princess. And sometimes, the truth is dangerous. |
| Hekapoo | With all due respect, Moon, withholding information about Glossaryck and the spell book has put us all in danger! |
| Lekmet | [bleating] |
| Rhombulus | Uh, y-yeah! Like the goat said! [chuckles nervously] |
| Moon | I assure you, I had every intention of—! |
| Hekapoo | Every intention of what?! |
| Moon | I had everything under control! |
| Hekapoo | How dare you hide something like that?! |
| Moon | I wasn't trying to hide anything! |
| Moon and Hekapoo | [argument continues in background] |
| Marco | Uhhhhh... so— |
| Star | [backs away] Hold that thought, Marco. |
| Star goes up to a nearby window and summons Cloudy. | |
| Cloudy | Hey, Star! |
| Star | H-Hey, Cloudy. Let's, uh, get out of here. |
| Star and Cloudy fly away. |
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Face the Music/Transcript
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