| (theme song) | |
| Scene opens at the Diazes' house; it is night. Star Butterfly peeks into Marco Diaz's room as he sleeps. She then proceeds to run down the stairs. She arrives in the kitchen, and pulls a box of cereal out of the cupboard. | |
| Star | [reading Marco's sticky notes] "Don't touch! I will find out!" Sure you will, Marco. [pours herself a bowl] Sure you will. Heh-heh-heh. |
| Star is hit by a blast of light and encapsulated inside a crystal. The bowl of cereal falls to the ground. Rhombulus walks over to Star, struggling to pick her up. He drops her crystal on his foot. | |
| Rhombulus | Unh! |
| Marco | [turns on light, sees Rhombulus] Uh... |
| Marco is also hit by a blast and crystallized. | |
| Rhombulus | Really? [groans] All right. [opens portal, grabs Star] One... [grabs Marco] ...and two. Thanks for nothing. |
| The scene changes to a different dimension filled with crystals. | |
| Rhombulus | Chancellor Lekmet! |
| Chancellor Lekmet | [appears from behind wall of crystal, bleats] |
| Rhombulus | [kneels] My liege. I come bearing an offering of great momentousness should it please thee. |
| Lekmet | [bleats] |
| Rhombulus | Uh, well, it's kinda heavy. I was hoping that thee could come down here to see it. |
| Lekmet | [sighs] |
| The chancellor sits down in a stair lift, which then mechanically begins to move down the stairs. It gets stuck. | |
| Rhombulus | Oh, dang! Is that on the fritz too? Oh, hang on. I've got you. [picks up Lekmet] So, um, speaking of the interdimensional fritz? |
| Lekmet | Baaaa? |
| Rhombulus | I've been doing some digging on my own and, uh, I think I've found what's causing it. |
| Lekmet | [bleats] |
| Rhombulus | Stay right there. I present to you the source of the fritz. [reveals Star trapped in crystal] |
| Lekmet | [shocked] Baaaa! |
| Rhombulus | Evidence? I've got your evidence right here. My gut told me she's evil, so I took her out. Boom! No more fritz. |
| Lekmet | [weary bleating] |
| Rhombulus | Yeah, I know she's Queen Butterfly's daughter, but... |
| Lekmet | [bleats] |
| Rhombulus | Okay, t-that kinda hurt. I know it came from a good place, you know, but... |
| The sock covering Rhombulus's left arm breaks open, revealing a snake. | |
| Left Arm | [pants] Okay, Chancellor, for the record, we had nothing to do with this. |
| The right sock busts open, revealing another snake arm. | |
| Right Arm | [grunts, pants] Yeah, we told him it was a horrible plan, but Rockhead here didn't wanna hear it. |
| Left Arm | He never listens to us! |
| Right Arm | But he would listen to you, Lekmet! |
| Left Arm | Tell him, Chancellor! |
| Right Arm | Tell him! |
| Lekmet | [stressfully bleats] |
| Rhombulus | Okay, everybody just calm down! [to Lekmet] Why don't you sit? I'll grab you a glass of warm milk, and then we can talk this out like rational people. |
| Rhombulus opens up a refrigerator, and Marco falls out. | |
| Lekmet | [panicked bleating] |
| Rhombulus | Shoot! I forgot I put him there. Okay, so I actually don't know who this is. A servant maybe? A very tall dwarf? But he's definitely evil. Gut's honor. |
| Lekmet | [bleats grimly, snorts] |
| Rhombulus | You'll what? Oh, please don't call the Magical High Commission. |
| Lekmet | [bleats] |
| Rhombulus | You... you think we should make other living arrangements? |
| Lekmet | Uh-huh. |
| Rhombulus | But... who's gonna take care of you? |
| Lekmet | [starts walking away] |
| Rhombulus | Lekmet, no. Stop! Please! |
| Lekmet pulls on a curtain cord, revealing an interdimensional mirror with a number pad. | |
| Lekmet | [sighs] |
| Rhombulus | You'll ruin everything! |
| Lekmet | [stars dialing a number] |
| Rhombulus | Stop! Stop! Guuuuhh! [crystallizes Lekmet] |
| Left Arm | Dude! You just crystallized the High Chancellor! |
| Right Arm | Do you have any idea how much trouble we are in?! |
| Rhombulus | Stop yelling at me! Look, I just really need a win right now. I mean, you guys are my hands! You're supposed to be on my side! Can't you just...? [sighs] |
| Right Arm | Hey. I bet a few reps would clear your head. [gestures to weightlifting table] |
| Rhombulus | Huh. You know, that's not a bad idea. |
| Right Arm | [looking in the corner of his eyes] Bench presses, couple of bicep curls. Hmm? |
| Rhombulus | What are you lookin' at? Huh? |
| The left arm is holding a baseball bat. | |
| Rhombulus | What? No! Uh! Hey! |
| The right arm starts redialing. The left arm swings, misses Rhombulus, and hits the right arm. Rhombulus runs, smashing his arms against various crystal structures. In the end, he crystallizes both of them. | |
| Rhombulus | [pants] Oh, man... [sees Lekmet] Oh, geez! [walks backwards, bumping into Star] You! I know you're the source! I can feel it! |
| Rhombulus uncrystallizes Star from the neck up. | |
| Star | Huh? |
| Rhombulus | Why did you cause the fritz?! |
| Star | [screams] |
| Rhombulus | No! No no no no! [recrystallizes Star] I really just can't take any more yelling today. [uncrystallizes Star's head] |
| Star | [screams] |
| Rhombulus | [quickly] Princess, my name is Rhombulus, I work with your mom, and I need you to answer one question! |
| Star | Rhombulus? Oh, ohh! You're the time-out guy. |
| Rhombulus | What? Who calls me that? I bet it's Glossaryck, isn't it? |
| Star | Omnitraxus calls you that too. And my mom and dad. Really all of the members of the Magic High Commission call you that. Time-out guy. |
| Rhombulus | Oh, never mind! Why are you causing the fritz? |
| Star | What's the fritz? |
| Rhombulus | The leak! The reason why nothing's working up here? |
| Star | I don't know. |
| Rhombulus | Oh! Something has been draining the power of magic from the universe. [flips a switch] See? Crystal orbs are down. And then there's the green hole over there. |
| A green hole swirls in the sky over the dimension of crystal. | |
| Star | Yeah, that part definitely looks broken. |
| Rhombulus | And look at the crystal I trapped Lekmet in. This stuff used to be hard as diamonds. Now it's like... rock candy or something. |
| Star | I'm sorry your powers are all crazy, but it's not me. |
| Rhombulus | You have to be the source! You see all these guys? [gestures to a large field of crystallized monsters] My gut told me they were evil, so I crystallized them. There's Zedlord, who blew up an entire planet. Astrobell and the black hole she created. Stopped that one just in time. Oh, and then there's pizza delivery guy. Delivered the pizza to the wrong address. Then of course, I am most proud of the evil twins [gestures to two gems in his chest] John and Jack. They're pretty hard to tell apart, but one of them was definitely evil. This is what I do. I find the source of evil, and I encase it in crystal forever. |
| Star | So your snake hands. They're evil too? |
| Rhombulus | What? No, they're my hands. |
| Star | And what about my friend Marco? What did he do exactly? |
| Rhombulus | Oh, him? Well... |
| Star | And what about that old goat man? Is he evil? |
| Rhombulus | [scoffs] There's nothing evil about Lekmet. He's the most pure-hearted, hard-working angel goat demon there ever was. |
| Star | Well, why did you crystallize him then? Hmm? |
| Rhombulus | [no response] |
| Star | Look, time-out guy, I think you need to think stuff through a little more before you rely on your gut. It's making you crystallize innocent people. |
| Rhombulus | Maybe you're right. I thought I could trust you, gut! |
| Rhombulus starts punching himself and wrecking more crystal structures. Some of the debris breaks open the pizza delivery guy. | |
| Pizza Delivery Guy | I'm free! [runs away] |
| Rhombulus | [grumbles, sits on weightlifting bench] I've been wrong about everything lately. The commission thinks I'm a joke. I thought I could find the source of the fritz, my hands and I could earn the appreciation of the Magical High Commission again. |
| During Rhombulus's monologue, Star wiggles out of her crystal. She lifts her feet out of the crystal and sees that they are bare. She wiggles her toes. | |
| Star | What? [sees her socks trapped] Aw, man. |
| Rhombulus | I actually crystallized Lekmet. And I love Lekmet! [sobs crystal tears] |
| Star | [holding his tears to her ears] Ooh, pretty! |
| Rhombulus | I'm gonna be in time-out for the next ten thousand years. Oh, Glossaryck is gonna have a field day with that. Let me tell you. |
| Star | Ah, I wouldn't worry 'bout him. He's not coming back. |
| Rhombulus | What? Glossaryck's gone? |
| Star | Oh! [chuckles] Uh, yeah... |
| Rhombulus | Glossaryck's gone? This is amazing! I mean, it's actually really bad. [chuckles] But it's good for me. But yeah, wow. That's bad news for the universe. |
| Star | Why? |
| Rhombulus | The thing about Glossaryck is he may be a jerk, but he's the most powerful all-knowing magic jerk in the universe. That's why I can never win an argument with him. |
| Star | He's just so hard to deal with, right? Even when I tried to rescue him, he didn't want to come back. |
| Rhombulus | You know that fancy crystal in his head? I gave it to him! But did he ever thank me? No. |
| Star | Every time we got donuts, he just sat on them. [sighs] What a waste of donuts. |
| Rhombulus | You know, I made some donuts for a meeting yesterday, and I think there's some left over. Uh... you want any? |
| The two sit down at an impromptu table made out of Marco's crystallized form. Rhombulus hands Star the box of donuts. | |
| Star | Ooh. You know, you shouldn't feel so down on yourself Rhombulus. [holding crystal donut] Your crystals are really pretty. |
| Star bites into the crystal donut, hurting her teeth. | |
| Star | Ow! |
| Rhombulus | Close your eyes for a minute. |
| Star | Okay. [closes eyes] |
| Rhombulus | Now open! |
| Star | [opens eyes] Oh. |
| Rhombulus | Here. |
| Rhombulus hands Star one of the evil twins gems. | |
| Star | Ooh. Is that evil twin Jack? |
| Rhombulus | It could be. Either way, I want you to have it. |
| Star | Thank you, Rhombulus. |
| Rhombulus | So, I guess you've got to turn me in, right? I mean, crystallizing the princess is kind of a big deal. |
| Star | Uh, not necessarily. Okay, look, if you don't tell the Magic High Commission about Glossaryck or the Magic Book of Spells and how I lost both of them, then I won't tell them about this. [clinks on Marco] |
| Rhombulus | Really? |
| Star | Yeah. |
| Rhombulus | Deal. |
| Star | What about the old goat man? |
| Rhombulus | Well, don't worry about him. I'm the only one who can understand what he says. |
| Star | Also, I need my socks back. |
| The scene changes back to the Diazes' house. Star jumps through a portal carrying crystallized Marco on her back. | |
| Star | [grunts] Ooh, phew. |
| Rhombulus | Hey. Thank you Princess. |
| Star | W-w-w-wait! You still gotta unfreeze him. |
| Rhombulus | Oh, yeah. |
| Rhombulus uncrystallizes Marco and leaves. He falls to the ground head first. | |
| Marco | Ow! |
| Star | Good morning, Marco! |
| Marco | Star, what happened? You were in this ice cube. And there was this big guy, and he had a big square head! |
| Star | [laughs, spoons cereal into Marco's mouth] What a funny dream, Marco. |
| Marco | Mmm! Blech! Were these on the floor? |
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