Cecile

Patia: It is an honor to meet you, Cecile. I am Vice Captain Patia of the White Sparrow Corps.
Cecile: Gyaaaaaaaaaargh!

Cecile: *gasp*
Cecile: ...I'm still alive? Oh wow. I guess that knight must have been a dream.
Patia: Oh, thank the Goddess you're awake!
Cecile: IT WAS REAL?! GYAAAAAARGH!
Patia: Are you still feeling unwell, Cecile?
Cecile: No! You're just the first female knight I've seen in a long time, and it sort of... reopened some old wounds.
Patia: You're wounded?! Let me see. I know first aid, and as a knight sworn to protect the people, I will see you healed!
Cecile: A knight... Protecting the people... AAAAUUUGH! NO MOOOOORE!
Patia: Um.

Patia: ...Yes, I see now. You were speaking of psychological wounds and not injuries to flesh and bone.
Cecile: Pretty much. See, after Dyrenell took over, I killed dragons and brought suffering to the people.
Cecile: Yet despite all that, I didn't save a thing. Not my king, not my people, and not my pride as a knight or my ideals.
Cecile: So whenever I'm around people who still espouse that kind of chivalry and idealism, it feels like my heart is...breaking.
Patia: I had no idea. Pray forgive my careless indiscretion, Cecile.
Cecile: I'm the one who should be apologizing. You were looking after me, and I just freaked out and started screaming.
Patia: Don't spare it a second though. Besides, if there is anyone to blame here, it is clearly Captain Leif for not informing me of the situation beforehand.
Patia: How could a leader be so inconsiderate?
Cecile: Heh. Sounds like Leif's really running you through the wringer.
Cecile: Hey, so why did you come to my place anyway?
Patia: Oh, apologies! Captain Leif sent me here to see if you have an answer for him.
Cecile: An answer for what?
Patia: He wanted to know whether you'd given any more thought to joining forces with us in New Alberia.
Patia: So...have you?
Cecile: I admit to giving the matter a good deal of thought since I met with him again.
Cecile: If I can't face my past, I'll never be able to make up for all of the pain I caused the people and dragons in my homeland.
Cecile: So I want to put in the work. I want to go back to the person I used to be and rediscover what it means to be a knight.
Patia: Do you mean it?!
Cecile: I do. But, um, I don't really know how to start...or even where I'm going.
Patia: Then first things first. I, Patia, shall escort you safely to the Halidom!
Patia: I swear this on my honor as a White Sparrow!
Cecile: Aaaaaggghhh... I'm meeeeeelting...
Patia: Pray forgive me! Have I reopened an old wound of one kind or another?
Cecile: We're good. Just a knee-jerk reaction that I need to learn how to overcome.
Cecile: Oh man, I'm not dealing well at all here... I need something to get me through this.
Patia: Er, Cecile?
Cecile: I need my Manachew!
Cecile: *CRUNCH* *gnaw* *gnaw* *gnaw* Ah...
Patia: Manachew is a mana-infused supplement, yes? Does it truly help you feel better?
Cecile: Oh, you bet! It's the BEST, plus it works in a heartbeat! You wanna try? C'mon, try it!
Patia: Well, I admit to being a tad curious... *nibble* Ouch! Hmm... *nibble*
Cecile: Well? Pretty sweet, eh?! Really perks you right up? Sure it does!
Patia: I fear I feel the same as before.
Cecile: Oh. Right.
Cecile: (Why doesn't this stuff ever work on anyone but me?)

Patia: Your Highness! Captain Leif! I have returned!
Euden: Welcome back, Patia. Thanks for all of your hard work.
Leif: Yes, that's quite a long trip. So what did Cecile say?
Patia: She has agreed to help us. However...
Cecile: Hrrk... Ungh...
Patia: The moment we arrived, she fell into something of a state.
Patia: Come now, Cecile. There is no reason for fear; the prince of this castle is a good and kind man of the highest regard.
Cecile: Castle... Prince... Blurgh...
Euden: Hi there, Cecile. You were part of my father's royal guard, right? I remember seeing you around the castle quite a bit when I was younger.
Cecile: You remember me, Your Highness? I...I am not worthy of such honors!
Euden: Heh. There's no need for that kind of formality around here. Besides, I'm not nearly so magnificent a ruler as my father.
Euden: Though I'm told that makes me a lot easier to get along with, so just try to relax and be yourself as best you can.
Euden: In time, I hope you come to think of this castle as your home!
Cecile: My home? This CASTLE?
Euden: That's right. This castle—and by extension the nation—was founded on the notion of bringing peace to the people. As prince, I have to create and protect such places.
Cecile: Then your goal is to create a castle and nation where everyone can be at peace...?
Leif: Not so different from the knight's code we once swore. Wouldn't you agree, Cecile?
Cecile: Well, it's different from the strength that King Aurelius aimed for with the former Alberia, but...
Cecile: But honestly, I think the way you run this nation is pretty darn great!
Euden: I'm happy to hear it.
Leif: So tell me, Cecile: Are you interested in serving your nation as a knight once more?
Euden: The White Sparrows are running short on good recruits, and having you here would do a great deal to put my mind at ease. What do you say?
Cecile: Huh?! Well, I'd be honored, but I... I mean, I don't...
Cecile: GAAAAAAHH! I CAAAAAAN'T!
Leif: Cecile, wait! Where are you going?!
Patia: She's probably heading for her new room. Come on!

Leif: I know you are in there Cecile. Please, you must come out so we can talk about this without a door to block our words.

Cecile: Nuuuuh uh! No way, nope, nope, nope! Even after His Highness went out of his way to be nice to me, I STILL couldn't live up to his expectations!
Cecile: I don't have the courage to answer him... And I don't want to think about why... I DON'T WANT TO FACE WHAT I AM!
Leif: Cecile, I know you came here because you wish to do just that—to face the knightly path once more.
Cecile: WAAAAGH! HELP ME, MANACHEW!
Cecile: *CRUNCH* *gnaw* *crack* *shatter*

Patia: It sounds like Cecile is dead-set on staying in there for quite some time.
Leif: We need a plan to get her out—and I think I may know just the thing...

Cecile: (Okay, it's quiet. I think they all left. So now...)
Cecile: Aaaah, Manachew! I'm gonna munch on you so good!
Cecile: Huh?! Hey! Wh-who's there? Who's hitting my window?
Patia: It's me, Cecile! Please open up!
Cecile: Patia? Hey, I know that ladder—it's the one the White Sparrows use for castle sieges! Did Leif put you up to this?
Cecile: (Back during the territorial disputes in former Alberia, we turned the tides against the impenetrable Balmore Keep with a single window and this ladder.)
Cecile: (We called it Operation Schlep Ladder, and I'm pretty sure Leif was the one who came up with it.)
Cecile: Leif was always careful to observe his enemy's strongholds, so this is just like him. Well, I'm not gonna fall for it!
Cecile: I'm gonna take that ladder down once and for all!
Patia: Cecile?! Why are you pointing your manacaster at the ladder?!
Cecile: Sorry, Patia. But I'm not coming out!

Patia: No! The ladder is... WAAAAAUUUGH!

Cecile: Don't worry. I calculated the angle so you would fall right into that pile of laundry in the courtyard.
Cecile: (It seems Leif wants to get me out of here no matter what.)
Cecile: (Well, he'll just have to deal, because if I leave, I have to respond to His Highness.)
Cecile: (And that means admitting to his face that I'm not fit to be a knight.)
Cecile: (So I'm just gonna stay in this room until I turn old and gray and wrinkly!)

Leif: Hmm? That sounded like magic.
Leif: (It came from the other side of the door. Wait, could it be...?)
Patia: *pant* *wheeze* I'm back. Also, this Cecile person is seriously stubborn.
Patia: Look, just let me break down the door already. I promise to install another one. Okay? Great, thanks. Hiiii-ya!
Leif: No! Don't touch that door!
Patia: GYAAAA! Ow! What the hell? I nearly burned my hand off!
Leif: I knew it. This is the same plan Cecile came up with when the southern tribes were laying siege to us at Fort Hann.
Leif: We used flame mana to heat the iron at the main gate, from the the iron lattice to the chains on the bridge. It got so hot, the invading forces couldn't touch them.
Leif: It was a simple tactic, but effective against the southern tribes who knew so little of magic. Still I never thought to see it used here in my own house...
Patia: Cecile can use that kind of high-level magic?
Leif: Oh, no, I imagine she extracted the mana from one of the bullets of her caster and used that to deploy the trick.
Patia: She can disassemble a bullet and use the mana within? She really is an experienced soldier... But...
Leif: Yes?
Patia: Oh, uh...just wondering why we're fighting so hard to make her leave her room in the first place.
Leif: Because... Well, because...
Euden: Leif! Patia!
Patia: Your Highness! Is everything all right?
Euden: After hearing what Cecile's been going through, I spent some time thinking about it.
Euden: And if she doesn't want to join with us, she absolutely doesn't have to.
Leif: Allow me to thank you for your kind words in Cecile's stead, Highness. However...
Leif: Deep down, I know she wants to serve you.
Euden: Really?
Leif: If she truly did not wish to join with the Sparrows, she would have fled the castle. Yet instead she absconded to her room.
Leif: She is trapped, Your Highness—trapped between wanting to serve you and being dismayed that she is yet unable to.
Leif: Isn't that right, Cecile?
Cecile: Um...
Euden: I see. Well then, how about this?
Euden: Why don't you just hire Cecile on as a mercenary?
Leif: Er, I'm sorry. You want ME to hire her?
Euden: Yes. It's clearly too difficult for her to dedicate herself to me right now, but as you said, she still wants to help.
Euden: And if you hire her as a mercenary, she'll take orders from you. Not me.
Euden: If she ever decides she wants to try being a knight again someday, we can talk about that when the time is right.
Leif: Your Highness...
Cecile: ......
Euden: Please think about it, Cecile. There are many ways to serve your country besides taking up the mantle of knighthood.
Euden: You came back here to fight for Alberia, didn't you?
Cecile: ......

Cecile: I can't believe you'd wait this long for a loser like me.
Leif: Persistence brings victory against any siege. That is a strategy you taught me long, long ago.
Cecile: Hah hah, that brings back memories... Hey, so, Leif? Would you really hire me? As a mercenary, I mean. For now.
Leif: It would be my honor.

Cecile: I'm back. Fiends are dealt with.
Notte: Okay, are you for REAL?! You only headed out there like an hour ago!
Cecile: Yeah, there were a lot of them, but they were all pretty small and pathetic.
Cleo: Those were the selfsame fiends that even the whole of Rovetelle's watch could not handle!
Notte: Holy crackers, Cecile! You're strong as heck!
Cecile: Actually, I'm not strong at all. Sure, the prince and Leif were kind enough to allow me to stay here, but I was still unable to become a knight.
Cecile: If that isn't weakness, nothing is.
Cleo: One does not have to rush these things. The very fact you are still working at the castle is quite a step, if you ask me.
Cecile: Thanks, Cleo. But I still wish that I could just be my old self again.
Cecile: I want to be someone who can face my own ideals and the knight's code once more. That's the only way I'll ever be able to repay everyone for their help.
Notte: In that case, no prob! If you wanna get back to how you used to be, you just gotta start using the ol' noodle.
Cecile: How do you mean?
Notte: If you wanna go back to your old self, you gotta think reeeal hard about the exact way that old self used to be.
Notte: The more you figure out in the here and now, the closer you'll get to being just like your old adorbs self!
Cecile: But if I start thinking about the time when I was a knight, I'm just going to start freaking out all over again.
Notte: Then don't think about knight stuff! Think about kittens or friends or music or whatever else you liked back then that doesn't involved big dumb knights.
Cecile: I suppose I might have something...

Notte: Whoooa, get a load of this place! Where the hey are we?!
Cecile: My grandfather's second house. Sadly, my family still remains in the Empire, so it's fallen into a state of disrepair.
Cleo: This is quite the spectacular mansion. I take it your family was noble?
Cecile: Yeah. We were kinda renowned for being royal guards for generations.
Cecile: That's why I wanted to be a knight from the moment I was bo—Nope! Bad thought! Not going there.
Cecile: Here, c'mon out to the veranda. There's something I want to see.

Notte & Cleo: Woooow!
Notte: This view is AMAZEBALLS!
Cecile: Yep—and it also makes me very happy. See, normally I would train from dawn to dusk, but never when I was staying here.
Cecile: Whenever we stayed for the summer, I'd come here and paint all day instead.
Cleo: You can paint as well? You truly are a woman of prodigious talent!
Cecile: Not unless you call smearing smudgy trees on a canvas "talent." Nah, I liked painting, but I was never any good at it. Now poetry, on the other hand? That I was good at.
Cecile: I used to get all kinds of compliments from girls at parties and the like... Hee!
Notte: Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Smile Siren going off! Look at you all beaming! Does this mean you're feeling more positive?
Cecile: Ha! I guess I was smiling, wasn't I? It's fun to reminisce about old times.
Cleo: It sounds like a trip down memory lane was exactly what you needed, then.
Cecile: Yeah, I guess so... But okay, let's go check out my old room!
Cecile: I wanna read you some of my poetry!

Cecile: ...Good lord, this is terrible. Why the hell did I ever show it to anyone? Oh, I'm just no good at ANYTHING!
Cecile: I need Manachew, stat! *CRUNCH* *gnaw* *gnaw* *gnaw*
Cleo: Er, I don't think it was so bad. It was... full of the charm and wonder of youth!
Notte: Yeah, it's like...wow! You were totally proactive about your dreams and stuff! Plus, rhyming blue with blue is VERY post-modern.
Cecile: Stop. Your pity only makes it worse.
Cecile: Facing the old knight's code was hard enough, but this? This is MUCH worse.
Cecile: I'll take the code over facing my cringey past EVERY time!

Cecile: *sigh*
Leif: Is something the matter, Cecile? You seem more down than usual.
Cecile: Is it really okay for me to be here?
Leif: Of course. Why would it not be?
Cecile: Because I swore to regain whatever chivalry was still in my heart after I met you again, and I haven't.
Cecile: I can't serve the prince... Hell, I can't even find a hint of my old optimism.
Cecile: I thought for sure I could change and go back to being my old, useful self, but...
Kleimann: Ooo! You wish to be your old self again?!
Cecile: WAUGH! Who are you?!
Kleimann: Did I startle you? Wheeee hee hee ha hoo! Yes, so sorry about that. I just heard some people talking over here and couldn't seem to help myself.
Kleimann: Clara, was it? Yes, well, I have just the thing to help with your worries. Behold!
Cecile: Is this...medicine?
Kleimann: One to help you sleep, yes! And while you slumber, it will cast a type of hypnosis that lets you speak with your former self.
Cecile: Seriously?!
Leif: This sounds rather fishy. Does it have any side effects she should know about?
Kleimann: No, no! Don't worry about it! Why, I just tested it on myself, and I'm doing great! WHEEEE HEE HEE HA HA HOOOO!
Leif: Er, have you tested it on anyone else? Because I cannot help but feel that you may not be the best metric for—
Cecile: So this hypnosis magic will let me talk to my old self?
Cecile: Maybe she can teach me how to be positive and ambitious again...
Leif: Cecile? Are you all right? You are mumbling to yourself.
Cecile: I'll do it. I'll do it! Gimme that sweet, sweet hypnosis!
Leif: What?!
Kleimann: Ah, but that's good to hear, Cathy! Here you are, then! Drink up!
Cecile: Thanks, weird old man! I just know this'll get me back to being my old self again!
Cecile: Wow... I haven't felt this happy without munching on a Manachew in so long!
Leif: Cecile, WAAAIT!

Cecile: Zzzzzz...
Leif: *pant* Damnation! I'm too late. Perhaps I can wake her up?
Kleimann: Oh, I certainly wouldn't do that! It might cause the magic to explode, you see. Although that WOULD be fascinating... You know what? Do it! Wheee hee hee!
Leif: My dear Cecile... Please be all right...
Cecile: Zzzzzz...

Cecile: Nnngh... Where am I?

Cecile: (I'm back at the castle in former Alberia? Looks like the dream medicine worked.)
Cecile: (It doesn't seem like anyone can see me. Am I really going to be able to talk to my old self like this?)
Cecile: Well, I suppose I should try to find myself first—and I know exactly where to look.

Cecile: Hah! Hiyah! Take that!
Rookie Knight: Gwaaargh!
Cecile: Heh. I'd say that's a match.
Rookie Knight: Ow. You are way too good at this, Cecile.
Cecile: Oh, I don't think so. After all, Sir Raemond was able to defeat a massive fiend with naught but a wooden sword in his day.
Rookie Knight: That just makes me feel even more inferior than before...

Cecile: I knew I'd be here.
Cecile: (I mean, of course I am. All I ever did was train from sunup to sundown.)

Cecile: Don't give up on me now, soldier! We must always strive to be stronger than we were the day before!
Cecile: We must ready for any enemy who would seek to harm good King Aurelius!
Rookie Knight: You really are a knight among knights, Cecile. You know that?
Cecile: Less chatter, more training, rookie!

Cecile: I was so...dazzling.
Cecile: (I was so earnestly dedicated to the knight's code. And now, every word coming out of her mouth is a knife in my heart.)
Cecile: (But...)
Cecile: Nope. It's just not working. Nothing is resonating with me.
Rookie Knight: Gyaaaah!
Cecile: Yeesh. If you're cowering before my blade, you won't have a prayer if the Other is eventually revived.
Rookie Knight: Could you maybe say something a little less...terrifying?
Cecile: Your terror will not keep the king safe!
Rookie Knight: Well then, what would YOU do if the Other came back?
Cecile: Is it not obvious? I would throw myself into the fray without hesitation.
Cecile: Then I would save our king and protect the nation and its people, no matter the cost.
Cecile: ......
Cecile: (Yep. Some hero you turned out to be.)
Cecile: You don't know a damn thing.
Cecile: You're a naive fool.

Cecile: *gasp*
Leif: Cecile! You're awake!
Cecile: Were you waiting for me to wake up, Leif? You should've just let me be.
Leif: I can't have anything happening to you. I'm your employer, after all.
Cecile: Er, right. Sorry. I'm fine.
Leif: That is a relief. So then, were you able to dream? Did you perhaps find answers?
Cecile: Yeah, but I couldn't talk to myself.
Leif: After all that build-up! Ah, well. I suppose a dream is just a dream in the end.
Leif: All the same, we don't know if that magic had any ill effects on your body, so you should rest a little longer.
Cecile: ......
Cecile: It's not that I couldn't talk to myself... It's that I refused to.

Raemond: Why, if it isn't Cecile!
Cecile: Sir Raemond?! So you're here, too.
Raemond: Indeed I am. I was off guarding the fort, but the moment I heard you were here at the castle, I came running.
Raemond: You seem different. Are you eating well?
Raemond: A knight must always keep themselves in good health. If you cannot swing the sword upon which you swore fealty to the king, you lose the right to call yourself a knight.
Cecile: Hnkh! Nnngh... Sir Raemond, please forgive this indiscretion!
Cecile: *CRUNCH* *munch* *gnaw* *snap*
Raemond: Are you mad, child?! How is eating rocks going to help you?!
Cecile: This isn't just some regular old rock! It's the best rock EVER!
Raemond: Just as I thought... Well, nevertheless! I am not the kind of man who can overlook his former subordinate shattering her teeth on random pebbles.
Raemond: Hand it over, Cecile. And I'll also have you spit out what you just ate.
Cecile: No! I won't ever let anyone have it! Not even you, Sir Raemond!
Raemond: You're just as stubborn as always. Well, two can play at that—
Raemond: HURRRRK! Muh back!
Cecile: Sir Raemond? Sir Raemond!

Leif: How could this have happened to two of the former king's most honored knights?
Cecile: I'm so sorry, Leif. Er, and thanks for treating Sir Raemond for me.
Cecile: I'll repay you on the battlefield.
Leif: Or you could just give me a discount on your sellsword services.
Cecile: Let's not get crazy now. I still have my pride as a mercenary.
Patia: ...Lately you seem to have come to accept your position of being here as a mercenary.
Patia: Before, you said you wanted to regain your optimism so you could again be a knight...
Cecile: Yeah, well, I think I'm done trying to be like my old self.
Patia: Then you're giving up on knighthood?
Cecile: No, I'm still considering that. But I'm done trying to regain my old shine.
Cecile: Living life openly and positively is great, but after countless attempts, I've realized that I just can't do it anymore.
Patia: And you are certain?
Cecile: Yes—and I'm also fine with it. After all, I'm only giving up on the optimism part.
Patia: What do you mean?
Cecile: My old self was forthright and positive, which I always thought of as a strength.
Cecile: But now I think it was a kind of weakness; my obsession with pursuing my ideals was actually what made me so easy to break.
Cecile: And yeah, I'm still pretty broken—and full of plenty of new weaknesses—but I also have a new kind of strength that will keep me from ever breaking down again.
Cecile: A shattered sword cannot be broken anew. This will be how I live from now on.
Patia: Your words stir my very soul, Cecile.
Cecile: They shouldn't. And look, I can't pretend I don't still long for the days when I used to work tirelessly toward my ideals.
Cecile: But I need to learn how to accept myself as I am now before I do anything else.
Leif: Seeing as you are perfectly dependable as you are, I believe that is for the best.
Cecile: Thank you, Captain Leif. And once again, this mercenary is at your service.
Leif: I am glad to have you, Lady Cecile.
Patia: And I'M just happy we all finally get to fight together!
Patia: I will give my all at every moment on the battlefield so I might keep up with Cecile.
Patia: My pride as a White Sparrow is at stake!
Cecile: NWAAAAUUUUUUGH!
Cecile: Too dazzling... It's killing me...
Patia: Cecile?! SPEAK TO ME, CECILE!