I would but it's.. it's so far away. (Zuri: The grocery store delivers) I mean from here to the door.
„
~ Bertram's catchphrase.
“
*Bertram drops the suitcases* I can't do this anymore! (Sobs) I've been living a lie!! The truth is, *Bertram takes off the suit and reveals to be in his pajamas* THA! I'm lazy! (deep sigh) Oh, it feels so good to be meagain!! (chortles hysterically as he lands onto the couch) Ah OH cheddar! (humming and chortling after pulling a sandwich out of the couch) Don't judge me.
„
~ Bertram's most iconic moment in the episode "Jessie Goes to Hollywood".
Bertram Winkle is one of the major characters in the TV show called Jessie. He is the hotel's wisecracking butler who works for Ross family.
Most times, or at least sometimes, he is miserable about the children and his own job to the point of being very wry and disdainful about it. Most out of the four kids, he doesn't like Luke.
However, he loves them all and comes to support and love them in the end. He shows to be willing to help Jessie in her adventures, he even stood up for her in the episode "There Goes the Bride" and has scolded the kids for making Jessie feel sad about the kids not giving back the love and respect she's shown for them.
Personality[]
Bertram is a butler who is a wise if very lazy, sarcastic, grouchy, silly, at times mischievous or cunning, flamboyant, childish, sometimes even miserable, and seems to care only a bit for the children despite being easily annoyed by them to the point he wants them gone. He also names them as "The Nanny Killers". He does have a soft side for them although he doesn't often show it.
Sometimes he seems to like Jessie though he sometimes gives her advice, while not being sure his intentions and mistakes where she is from. Most times Bertram takes some time for himself and wishes he could quit his job, but quit once, then came back.
On top of being a sardonic person who loves providing sarcastic one-liners, he has shown to also be a very dramatic person. Sometimes showing to be into melodrama in terms of singing and acting skills. He also overreacts and exaggerating his fear to bunnies, spiders, and would complain about being interrupted by others, especially the kids messing with him. He also has plenty of enjoyment and excitement in being by himself and loves getting peace and quiet from others. He will be overdramatic over a spoon being bent or kitchen appliances being vandalized in the same way a living being like a pet, is hurt. In fact, he can be so childish, he often cries overdramatically like a six year old does, episodes like "From the White House to Our House" has Bertram complaining about wanting a banana shake and acts like a baby in front of Luke.
Bertram spends his time on reading magazines on the couch, cleaning, and eating bacon-wrapped donuts and watching TV in the screening room. He also enjoys being in his kitchen and labelling utensils like a cheese grater, a ladle, a turkey thermometer, and a spoon as if it means a lot to him to the point of obsession (and has a ridiculous devotion to cheese). And he prefers to lay around and do nothing rather than being a butler, and can be a bumbling goof because of it.
Even though he is generally treated as comic-relief, he can also be the show's biggest scapegoat, as Jessie and the kids will often poke fun at him and make fun of him for being a lazy person (especially Luke being the strongest example of him typically disrespecting and mocking Bertram oftentimes).
Gallery[]
Bertram with Jessie and the kids
Bertram's christmas gift being a train set with dolls, getting amusement in wanting the Ross kids to be ran over by a train.
"But I think my confection is perfection!"
Quotes[]
“
(Jessie: Kids I know this is hard for you. Okay? I get it. And I'm so sorry.. but. I guess I was just hoping, you could find it in your hearts to be happy for me.) *Jessie runs away in sadness* I am SO disappointed in all of you. Jessie has put your happiness before hers, for the LAST three years, now... She's picked you up when you've fallen, she's.. made you laugh, when you were sad. She even managed to TURN you into young men and women that I don't find TOTALLY unbearable. Well MOST of you. (Luke: That's fair) So. Now it's time for you guys to return the favor. When she walks down that idle tomorrow, she needs to know you LOVE and support her... Okay? (Zuri: Okay.) (Ravi: Message received.) *Bertram walks away in silence* (Emma: Wow, I've never seen Bertram so upset) (Luke: Just wait until he sees what happened when we were playing Laser Tag. *Bertram runs in with his frying pan with a hole in it:* YOU KILLED, PAN-ELLA ANDERSON!! (Sobbing hysterically and chases the kids that run from him screaming)
„
~ Bertram's most serious and sympathetic moment in the whole show, before it cuts to a comical moment provided by Bertram in "There Goes the Bride".
“
(Jessie: I can't lose all of the kids on my FIRST day! What are the parents gonna say??) I have no idea, but I say Well done! ... I was gonna sign it too but the pen is... so far away.
„
~ Bertram.
“
(Emma: Do these make me look smarter?) If you wanna look smarter, stand next to Luke.
„
~ Bertram to Emma about Luke's intelligence.
“
(Jessie: Bertram, we got a great birthday surprise for you!) You're moving back to Texas and taking the kids with you???
„
~ Bertram.
“
You're where?? What kind of idiots would get themselves stuck in a gianttea cup!?
„
~ Bertram.
“
Noo!! (Jessie: Holylandfill!!) I wa- I wasn't expecting company! (Jessie: Bertram, you're a hoarder!) *sound effect plays and Bertram looks at the ceiling* No I'm a collector... of everything. (Jessie: So, a hoarder.) *sound effect plays again* (Zuri: Why do you have all this, junk?) It's not "junk"! These are useful items that I might need some day! (Emma: You NEED a pile of old hair dryers?) Can't a bald man dream? (Jessie: Who left the tuba? Do you play?) *sarcastically:* Of course not, who plays the tuba? (Jessie: A bowl of lint. Really Bertram!?) Oooohhh huh I'm soashamed!!! I'm not FIT to hold a feather duster... (sobs) HELP me J.Lo! (lightly sobs)
„
~ Bertram in "The Kid Whisperer".
“
Oh (jovial laughter) Oh great, another person in my life to HATE.
„
~ One of Bertram's most iconic one-liners.
“
HELP!! AHAHAHH!!! TEENS! SO MUCH AGONY!!!(Sobbing loudly)
„
~ Bertram being carried by teenagers.
“
Did you guys FORGET that tonight is my reunion concert for my boy band: "Bad Direction"!
„
~ Bertram.
“
Back then, I was called "The Hair", this is what my fans wanna see. (Luke: Trust me. Nobody wants to see that.)
„
~ Bertram with a blond wig.
“
Wow. Can I borrow that for a second? *wheezes* (Emma: Okay.. NOW you've gone too far, you look like a: Bertram bobble-head.) Who cares, I'm thin with hair, press send.
„
~ Bertram with photoshopping himself for a good look with Emma.
“
Profiles of my high school classmates, and I look SO much better. They all got FAT and bald.
„
~ Bertram to Emma.
“
Jessie, I'm shocked I never thought we had something in common... I mean besides the over-sized feet, and secret love for boy bands
„
~ Bertram.
“
All this works is really getting in the way of my naps.
„
~ Bertram.
“
(Girl: You must be the butler.) *glances*: And YOU must be a genius. (Girl: So, whatcha up to?) Uhm, certainly not writing fanfiction about Justin Bieber!
„
~ Bertram.
“
I'm, ♬ OFF to Convo and Vacation! Fa-lalala lalala! No more kids and aggravation! Hahahahahaha ahhaha ha! ha! HAAAAAAAAH!!!! ♬
„
~ Bertram singing with a ophrea ending.
“
I won't miss you, or you, a- and I think I'll miss youLEAST of all. (giggling to himself)
„
~ Bertram.
“
(Luke: I wouldn't have fallen if Bertram wasn't vacuuming!) Did you know that dust can get under furniture? This job is impossible!
„
~ Bertram upon laughing at Luke trip over a vacuum.
“
*Bertram sleeping and snoring with a stick note on his face* (Jessie: Bertram x2) *rips sticky note on Bertram's head* OWA MORKING MURKING IN THE- FUNKIN BUGUTS, THAT HURTS!! What did you RIP off me?! (Jessie: A note the kids left you? On part of your unibrow? "Dear Bertram, Jessie's gone to Africa to be with Brooks, going there to stop her" Wait WHY would they think I went to Africa?? ... WHAT did you TELL them!?) Just what you TOLD me! That you wanted to talk to Brooks!! (Jessie: On the PHONE! Which is the only place I have his number. That's why I dropped it off to get it, fixed!) So they went to Africa for nothing? *wheezing laughter* THAT'S hilarious!! *sadistic laughter* *Jessie places sticky note to Bertram's head and pulls it back* OOOOOWWWWW!!! (Jessie: And that's hilarious. Also now you don't need to go to the doctor to get that wart removed.)
„
~ Bertram in "But Africa Is So Fari".
“
Oh so YOU listened then, but when I was locked in my bathroom, for a weekend, screaming, no one heard anything?!? (Zuri: Oh we heard.)
„
~ Bertram being blamed by the kids for their mistakes in "But Africa Is So Fari".
“
I'm off to clean up before dinner, we're having Samon. (Luke: Ugh, I HATE samon.) I KNOOWWW.
„
~ Bertram with Luke in agreement.
“
♬ My chilli is PEEERFECT! Never is Ronnie! Needs Chilli POWder!!♬ AAAHH IT'S A BUNNY!!! Ah oh! Tha! Tha! Tha tha! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!! Get off! THA!!!!! (falls onto the floor) (Jessie: You found Loosey?) She attacked me! I MANAGED to fight her off, and she went UP the back stairs!!! I think I was nibbled prettyBAD!!!
„
~ Bertram improvising in opera before a rabbit popped in the cabneit.
“
OH nonono! Not Garry the Gravy Boat, he's my best friend!! I mean, my best dispenser on gravy. *gets his foot stomped* THHAAAAOOOOWWW!! OhFPH- *gets a napkin shoved in his mouth promptly*
„
~ Bertram being tied up to a chair in the scene of a robber in the kitchen.
“
Oh I could rent my own book! (chortle) But uh, that sounds like so much WORK.
„
~ Bertram.
“
I should thank the academy. My fellow cast members, my director, but I'm not GONNA 'cause I DID it allmyself!!! And mother, I wanna thank you LEAST of all.
„
~ Bertram.
“
If this is a test, to see how much I care. My score is zero.
„
~ Bertram to Jessie.
Trivia[]
He doesn't like his mother due to the problems with her being disrespectful towards him.
Bertram made one minor appearances in the season 2 premiere of Bunk'd.
In To Be Me or Not to Be Me it was revealed that he was married.
He loves Halloween because he loves terrifying kids and makes it feel meaningful to his life.
He loves opera and he can sure belt out a tune as seen in a Christmas episode.
His favorite food is cheese, much to the point where he is a specialist in identifying rare brands of cheese.
In "The Kid Whisperer", he keeps a lint statue of J.Lo (aka Jennifer Lopez).
Occasionally, he does his job when Morgan and Christina aren't around. However, according to Christine in the episode "Jessie Goes to Hollywood", she knows fully well how lazy Bertram is before confessing it (mainly due to the fact Bertram uses one sponge for 10 years as a butler), and Bertram is a butler since he's considered a part of the Ross family and love him for who he is.
In the Season 2's "The Jessienator Grudgement Day"; it's shown that in future, he had a villainous, vengeful persona named Mainframe Bertram, who also has his own bots named after him created by Ravi, and Bertram made them hegemonic.
