I'm Not a Loser

"I'm Not a Loser" is a song written by They Might Be Giants. It appears in the SpongeBob SquarePants musical. In this eleven o'clock number, after the Electric Skates quit the show, they call Squidward a loser, but Squidward insists, through many double negatives, that he is not, and imagines he is joined by a sea anemone chorus and does a dazzling tap dance number.

Lyrics[]

Squidward: I'm not a loser

I don't secretly hate myself

I'm not singing this to no one

It's not the case that no one cares

I'm not a failure

I don't not have talent

When others see me they can't see

The nobody that isn't there

Hold on, that's a triple negative. You can't not see nobody. Because I'm not nobody! Which can't not be seen. Let me start over.

My life's not empty

They don't not like me at all

I don't not leave the house

'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home

I don't stink

I'm not a waste

I'm not all alone in thinking

That I am not all alone

Maybe I am a loser.

Sea Anemones: Hey, Squidward

Squidward: Huh?

Sea Anemones: You're not delirious with despair

And you're not calling true things false

Hey, Squidward

Squidward: This is weird

Sea Anemones: You're not hallucinating this sea anemone

Chorus line at all

Squidward: I'm not?

Sea Anemones: You're not a loser

You don't secretly hate yourself

You're not singing this to no one

It's not the case that no one cares

Squidward: Okay!

Sea Anemones: You're not a failure

You don't not have talent

When others see you they can't see

The nobody that isn't there

Squidward (Sea Anemones): I'm not a loser! (Not a loser)

They don't not like me at all (No!)

I don't not leave the house

'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home

I don't stink (You don't stink)

I'm not a waste (You're not a waste)

I'm not all alone in thinking

That I am not all alone

Clarinet solo!

(clarinet)

Look at me now, Mama!

(tap dance break)

Squidward (Sea Anemones): I'm not a loser (You're not a loser)

They don't not like me at all (No!)

I don't not leave the house (leave the house)

'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home

(Yeah, yeah, stay at home!)

Hey! Shh!

I don't stink

I'm not a waste

I'm not all alone thinking that I'm not, not, not

all alone

(You are not all alone! You are not all alone! You are not,

not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not,

you are not, you are not, not, not, not alone!)

Trivia[]

• On opening night on Broadway, this song received a long standing ovation, which was led by Rodger Bumpass, the voice of Squidward on the cartoon.
• In the televised version, the first part of the sea anemone chorus's reprisal of the first chorus is cut, in order to show the entire tap dance break.
• "I don't not leave the house 'cause I don't not prefer to stay at home" refers to Squidward's not wanting to get out of bed but still go out and work.

Music (V • T • E)
Episode songs:	SpongeBob SquarePants Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight • Ripped Pants • The Krusty Krab Pizza • Jellyfish Jam • F.U.N. Song • Doing the Sponge • Blow the Man Down • I Wanna Go Home • Loop de Loop • Bossy Boots Song • That's What Friends Do • The Very First Christmas • This Grill Is Not a Home • Sweet Victory • Hey All You People • Give It All You've Got • Hey, Mean Mr. Bossman • Sweater Song • Electric Zoo • Underwater Sun • When Worlds Collide • You're Old • Camp Fire Song Song • I Wish I Could Fly • He's Flying • All You Need Is Friends to Fly • Gary's Song • Where's Gary? • The Feeling of Greed • So Long, Bikini Bottom • Birthday Girl • Down the Well • The Best Day Ever • I Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You • If I Could Talk to Money • Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star • Bubble Song • Fueling the Bus • Mr. Krabs' song • Sandy's song • Plankton's song • Squidward's song • Back in Encino • Goodbye, Atlantis • Together • Dead Eye • Idiot Friends • I Love Krabby Patties • Frying Up Patties • The Suction Cup Symphony • Bee Line for the Tree Line • Oh, My Karen • A Day Like This • Krabby Patty Jingle • Rubber Hose Rag • The Scurvy Song • Oh, Krusty Krab • Beautiful Dreamer • Jellyfishing • Give Jellyfish Fields a Chance • Rodeo Song • Gratitude • Squidward's Tiki Land • Musical Doodle • Dear Friend • Neat Clarinet • The Road Song • Ghouls O The Briny Deep • Santa Has His Eye on Me • Hot Fruitcake • Don't Be a Jerk • High Tide Time • Never Give Up • Two Thumbs Down • Who Am I? • I Hate People • Ahhhh • My Leg Is In Love! • He's Our Mermaid Man • Filthy Muck • Flippin' Out • Gloves Song • Feeding Frenzy • Pets Are People Too • Goober Rag • Everything Juice • Old Man Jenkins Had a Farm • Sammy Suckerfish Song • Sweet Neptune, Help Me! I'm Pinned Under Weights In My Home Gym! Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years Tag, You're It • Square Dance Song • Eye of the Hotdog The Patrick Star Show The Patrick Song • Let's Be Dumb • Sad Song • Dueling Jingles • The Granny Tentacles Show Theme Song • The Neighborhood Song • World of Friendship • Baby Stars Theme Song • Jailhouse Workout
Movie songs:	The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Goofy Goober Theme Song • Now That We're Men • Goofy Goober Rock • Ocean Man • SpongeBob and Patrick Confront the Psychic Wall of Energy • Just a Kid • The Best Day Ever The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Teamwork • Squeeze Me • Rap Battle • Patrick Star • Sandy Squirrel The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run It's Always Summer in Bikini Bottom • On the Road Again • Dream Weaver • How We Do • Livin' La Vida Loca • Gary's Song • My Heart Will Go On • Secret to the Formula • Take On Me • Agua • Krabby Step • Snail: I'm Avail Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie My Name is Sandy Cheeks • She Makes Waves • The Amazing Flying Cheeks • Squidward Breathes • This Squirrel's Done Good • Sandy Cheeks Theme Plankton: The Movie Welcome To Bikini Bottom • I'm Plankton • Say My Name, Karen • I Made A New Friend • I'm A Jerky Jerk • You and Me • Welcome Back To Bikini Bottom
Album-exclusive songs:	The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie - Music from the Movie and More... Prince Paul's Bubble Party • Bikini Bottom • They'll Soon Discover • Under My Rock • You Better Swim • Employee of the Month The Best Day Ever Barnacles! • My Tighty Whiteys • Ridin' the Hook • Superior • Doin' the Krabby Patty • You Will Obey! • Who Wants to Race Me? • Fishin' for Money • Bikini Bottom - Rock Bottom It's a SpongeBob Christmas! Christmas Eve Jitters • Santa Won't Let You Down • Snowflakes • Pretty Ribbons and Bows • Wet, Wet Christmas • Ho Ho Hoedown • Christmas Is Mine Music from The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Thank Gosh It's Monday
Musical songs:	Bikini Bottom Day • BFF • No Control • When the Going Gets Tough • (Just a) Simple Sponge • Daddy Knows Best • Hero is My Middle Name • Super Sea Star Savior • Tomorrow Is • Poor Pirates • Bikini Bottom Boogie • Chop to the Top • (I Guess I) Miss You • I'm Not a Loser
Miscellaneous songs:	Theme songs SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song • Kamp Koral Theme Song • The Patrick Star Show Theme Song Short songs List of short songs Other Beats by Bob • Everybody Loves the Sponge • Frozen Krabby Patty Song • Just 10 Minutes • Plankton and Krabs • Plankton & Karen Love Song • The Positivity Song • SpongeBob's Birthday • The SpongeBob History Song • Squidward's Back • We Makin' Krabby Patties