Day of the Living Gelatin/Transcript

(Scene opens up showing a front view of the Flynn-Fletcher house.)
Candace: As president of the Healthy Dessert Club, I declare that nothing says low-calorie, non-fat more than gelatin.
Stacy: You wouldn't have started this club because gelatin is Jeremy's favorite dessert, would you?
Candace: What? Na-Nooo!
(Perry chatters)
Candace: Ew! Gross! Phineas and Ferb! Your smelly rodent pet is germing up the cabinets! Where are those two?
(Phineas and Ferb appear behind Candace, all Star-Trek-like)
Phineas: Right here, Candace.
Candace: But how? How did you get there, where you are so fast?
Phineas: Oh, we were just putting the finishing touches on our molecular transporter. Would you like to try?
Candace: Do I look like someone who wants their moleculars transported? Now get that stinky pet out of our cabinets and go scramble your molecules somewhere else!
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry. (To Candace) Bye, Candace!
(They begin teleporting away)
Jenny: Would you guys like to try some of our gelatin?
Phineas: Okay!
(They stop teleporting)
Candace: No, wait! They'll just end up doing something weird and ruin the party!
Jenny: How is sharing gelatin with them gonna ruin the party?
Candace: (Eye twitches) Some... how?
Stacy: You want cherry or grape?
Phineas: Grape, please.
Candace: No, wait.
(Phineas and Ferb eat some of the gelatin as Candace watches on in horror)
Phineas: Thanks, guys.
Candace: Well, I guess that wasn't too weird.
(Phineas and Ferb begin bouncing the gelatin)
Phineas: It's as fun to eat as the crazy, fun things you can do with it.
Ferb: The cartilaginous fibers from the bovine patella structure, that gelatin's extracted from, gives it that fun, bouncy quality.
Candace: What did I tell you? Weird. Now, let the professional handle this before it gets out of hand. Why don't you make your own gelatin and leave us alone?
Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Candace: Wait! I'm not finished!
Phineas: Bye, Candace.
Candace: Stay away from me and my friends and my gelatin that I don't want ruined with your ruiny ruinness. Hm. (To Stacy and Jenny) What?

Phineas: Hey, Isabella. Thanks for letting us use your swimming pool as the largest gelatin mold ever.
Isabella: You bet.
Phineas: Ferb, release the gelatin mix.
Baljeet: Ooh, ooh, ooh, may I add some of my favorite flavor?
Phineas: Sure, buddy.
Baljeet: (He pours in his favorite flavor) Hah-hah!
Phineas: (On megaphone) Stirring team, commence mixing operations.
Fireside Girls: Aye, aye!
(The kids go around the pool in paddles boats, mixing the gelatin)
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

(Perry hops down a flower pot on a poolside table)
Wanda Acronym: Ah, Agent P, glad you're here. Professor Poofenplotz has replaced all the fine handbags in the Tri-State area– Good grief! Perry the Platypus, what are you doing here? Your lair is across the street. Good day to you, sir.
(Perry is sucked out a tube, and Pinky the Chihuahua replaces him)
Wanda Acronym: Ah. Agent Pinky, finally.

Major Monogram: Ah, there you are, Agent P. I hear you took a wrong tube and ended up over in Wanda's division. Well, Doofenshmirtz has sent you a video message. Take a look.
Doofenshmirtz: (On video) Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus. I'm sure you're getting this. I– I was hoping you would stop by today for some tea. See, I've got all these little tea things set out and ready and, um... Uh, please use the front entrance, Perry the Platypus, because– Uh, because, uh, all the other entrances don't work today. So bye-bye. I'll see you later today! Coming in through the front entrance.
Major Monogram: So you-you see, Doofenshmirtz has invited you to tea. We don't know what it could possibly mean. We think– But don't hold us to this. We think that maybe, just maybe, it could be a trap. We do, however, like to give people the benefit of the doubt, uh, so try to have fun. Monogram out.
♪ Doo be doo be doo ba doo be doo be doo ba ♪
♪ Doo be doo be doo ba ♪
♪ Perry! ♪

Isabella: How's it lookin', Phineas?
Phineas: Looks good. And judging by my chronometer here, it should be just about time. There's only one thing to do now.
Baljeet: You mean test the resiliency of our cartilaginous collusion with vigorous application of weight and velocity?
Phineas: Exactly. Let's jump on it.
(All cheering)

Candace: And now for the themed gelatin sculpture part of our get-together. Stacy.
Stacy: I made a pair of shoes. You know, 'cause I like shoes.
Candace: Nicely done. And how about yours, Jenny?
Jenny: Well, I fashioned this dove to symbolize my desire for world peace and a true—
Candace: Yeah, yeah. Get a load of my entry. It's Jeremy's head.
Candace: Look, he's dancing. (She dance as gelatin Jeremy head wiggles) Uh-huh, uh-huh. (His head stops and she smacks it) Uh-huh, uh-huh.
(Cheering can be heard from outside)
Jenny: Hey, what's that?
Stacy: Sounds like fun.
Candace: What?
Stacy: That looks awesome.
Jenny: We should go over there and check it out.
Stacy: Totally.
Candace: But that's just Phineas and Ferb and their friends.
Jenny: Don't be so uptight.
Stacy: Yeah, come on.
Candace: Nah, it's okay. Go ahead.
Stacy: Well, if you're sure.
Candace: That does look kinda fun. Maybe I should... totally bust them for this.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪
Doofenshmirtz: This is nice, huh? You know, I was thinking the other day about how much better you would be as an ally. So I created this. I call it my Turn-Everything-Evil-Inator. Now, you just sit still. Okay, great. You know, after I turn you evil, we can use it to create a whole army of evil minions. Won't that be fun? Hold still. Hey. Stop it! Wait! (Doofenshmirtz fires his -inator at Perry, while Perry dodges the rays) I'm beginning to think you don't want to be allies at all. I'm not trying to make it personal!

(One of the stray rays hits the giant pool of Gelatin, turning it into a gelatin monster)
Gelatin Monster: Evil!
Phineas: Who added the evil flavor?
(Everybody looks at Baljeet)
Baljeet: It's curry. It's not inherently evil. Maybe a little spicy.
(The Gelatin Monster roars)
Baljeet: Okay, I'm going home.
Candace: What the–?
(Gelatin Monster roars)
Candace: Wait till Mom sees this!
(Gelatin Monster eats Candace, then roars)
Candace: (Muffled from inside the gelatin monster) You guys are so busted!
Phineas: Well, I guess we better rescue Candace.
Holly: But do we fight a gelatin monster?
Phineas: We'll beat him the same way we created him: with water.

(Song: Come On, Kids!)
Well, I know what we should do today!
♪ A-come on, kids! ♪
♪ Let's squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ (Yeah!)♪
♪ A-come on, kids! ♪
♪ Let's squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ (A huh-huh-huh) ♪
♪ Oohoo, Oohoo ♪
♪ Squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ Oohoo, Oohoo ♪
♪ Squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ A-come on, kids! ♪
♪ Let's a-squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ (Yeah!) ♪
♪ A-come on, kids! ♪
♪ Let's a-squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ (Huh-huh, huh-huh-huh) ♪
♪ Oohoo, oohoo ♪
♪ Squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ Oohoo, oohoo ♪
♪ Squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ A-come on, kids! ♪
♪ Let's a-squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ (Yeah!) ♪
♪ A-come on, kids! ♪
♪ Let's a-squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
♪ (Huh-huh, huh-huh-huh) ♪
♪ Come on, kids ♪
(Gelatin Monster roars)
Phineas: For Candace, our neighborhood and all the good gelatin left in the world!
♪ Let's squirt that gelatin monster! ♪
(Gelatin Monster growls)

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, okay, I missed you several times, and I probably won't hit you anytime soon. I get that. But I must have hit lots of other things, and with a push of this button, those lots of other things will come to my side. And together we will defeat you!
(Doofenshmirtz hits the button)

(Gelatin Monster growls)
Gelatin Monster: Master!
(The gelatin monster dives down the drain)
Phineas: It's working. He's melting down the drain.
Candace: I have got to reexamine my life.

Doofenshmirtz: Here they come, Perry the Platypus. Here they come, all of my minions. (He laughs) (A bar of soap and a toothbrush come to his side) I c– I– I could've sworn I hit more threatening stuff than this. Really, really pathetic.
Gelatin Monster: (Growling) Master.
(The Gelatin Monster climbs up Doofenshmirtz's building, and enters his lair)'
Doofenshmirtz: Aha, a gelatin monster. I knew there was going to be something fun. Get him! Now you can bow down before my cartilaginous creation. It's so corrupt and cantankerous and carnivorous and, uh... Uh, low in calories and ca– Ca– Cow– Couch. Hm. Ah, that's all I got.
(Perry flings his hat at the sprinkler system, and sets it off, melting the gelatin monster, and shorting out and destroying the Turn-Everything-Evil-Inator )
Doofenshmirtz: My Turn-Everything-Evil-Inator! My monster! No! My beautiful, fruit flavored monster! You come back here, Perry the Platy- (He slips on the bar of soap, and the toothbrush lands in his mouth)Whoa! Oof! Mm. This isn't the toothbrush I use to brush my teeth.

(In the Garcia-Shapiro backyard)
Linda: Oh, there's everyone. Candace, I thought you were having your dessert party today? What are you doing at Isabella's?
Candace: I got two words for you, Mom. Gel-a-tin. I am sick of it! Sick of it! Totally sick of it! (Snorts)
Jeremy: Hey, Candace, I heard you were having a dessert party, so I made you this out of gelatin.
(He reveals Candace's name, made from gelatin)
Candace: Aw. Nah, I'm still sick of it.