Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

To be honest, I was a little disappointed although I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting. From the very beginning, Eldredge seems to be painting a caricature of what a true “man” that comes hauntingly close to how Hollywood wants us to view men as – rugged, square-jawed, outdoorsy types that live to clock out at 5 and have their trucks in 4-wheel drive by 5:15 on some backwoods trail. In fact, many of Eldredge’s examples of “true” men come from such movies as Braveheart and Gladiator. It is apparent that Eldredge enjoys the outdoors and who can fault him for that? The danger is when he equates a necessity of enjoying all these things to how much of a “wild man” a guy really is. He even goes so far as to say that a true man can’t really like being inside at a desk all day, but should be longing to get outside. If he does, something’s wrong with him and he needs to reclaim his manhood by getting wild (outdoors). And this is the premise that Eldredge seems to base his entire thesis on – a man must be wild, adventuresome and ready for a fight in order to be a man. This is backed up with many examples including one where he advises his son who is being picked on to punch the bully in the face as hard as he can. This apparently was designed to make his son feel enabled and manly and have the freedom to fight back, despite the fact that we are to follow Christ’s teaching of turning the other cheek. (Eldredge defends his actions by saying many in the show more church misinterpret this passage, but never says how or why.)

There are two particular errors (among many) in the book that I want to hit on. The first is the noticeable absence of hardly any Scripture given to support Eldredge’s many false presumptions, and the Scripture that is quoted is so twisted out of context as to make it say something that does not ring true. Instead, Eldredge relies heavily on psychological analyses that fall short of correctly mirroring any Scriptural teaching. Don’t get me wrong on this point. I believe that there is a great use for psychology and we shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak. But the danger comes when we replace Scripture with the psychology and try to make it sound Biblical.

The second and perhaps most disturbing error in the book is Eldredge’s claim that, in trying to support his view that God loves adventure, God is a risk-taker and even an “immense risk-taker.” To hear Eldredge’s view of the death of Christ, you would think the crucifixion was completely unplanned and God showed up just in the nick of time to set everything straight. “God lets the mob kill Jesus, bury him…then he shows up.” Although he tries to add a disclaimer that he isn’t a proponent of Open Theism, he apes Open Theism’s teachings quite well. Risk by definition involves some aspect of the unknown and to say that God takes risks is to say that He doesn’t know the outcome of certain things.

I do believe that today’s culture emasculates men in wanting to be in touch with their softer side and perhaps Eldredge was trying to fight against that. But instead what he ends up doing is going to the other end of the Hollywood extreme in idolizing he-men. In the end, Eldredge’s answer to regaining masculinity seems to be to get in touch with our inner caveman. While there were a few good points made, they are so few and far between as to not make reading (or listening to) the book worthwhile. show less

A friend of mine gave me Wild at Heart to read, and the book was so darn good I ended up buying my own copy before I'd even finished it the first time. This is one of those proofs that "many elements of sanctification and of truth" are found outside the visible confines of the Catholic Church" (CCC 819). John Eldredge himself is a Christian, but he seems to have a bit of an anti-religious vibe to him, as gleaned from his website. He is the director of Ransomed Heart Ministries, a "fellowship devoted to helping people discover the heart of God" (from the back of the book).

If you had to categorize the book, it's a book about masculine spirituality, but really it's so much more than that. Much of contemporary Christian material geared towards men is designed to neuter and emasculate them. Modern Christianity tells men that their passion, their drive, and their ambition is bad, and so in order to be a good Christian you need to get rid of those things and pursue virtues like meekness, gentleness, and passivity (Indeed, they are virtues and Jesus used them when he needed to, but they're never an excuse not to act when action is called for). This message is subtly backed up by by emotive music and weak homilies found at most Christian gatherings. In the same vein, we've feminized Jesus himself.

So with contemporary Christianity having feminized our understanding of Christ and our understanding of a good Christian, John Eldredge realized we have a problem. Even in the Catholic show more Church, which is commonly accused of being male-dominated and hierarchical, the problem is the same. So Eldredge proposes something new, he proposes that how God made men is good, because the natural values and inclinations of men correspond to the values of God himself. Early on in Wild at Heart, Eldredge says, "We need permission. Permission to be what we are-men made in God's image. Permission to live from the heart and not from the list of 'should' and 'ought to' that has left so many of us tired and bored" (emphasis original).

Speaking directly to men, every one of us has a question that needs to be answered. "Am I really a man? Do I have what it takes?" Because of Adam's original failure and the wounds we receive throughout our lives, this question often goes unanswered or is answered in the negative. The sort of masculinity I'm talking about here isn't the kind of manliness that drinks beer, watches football, and hunts. That overly-macho man is usually just compensating for the wounds he's received elsewhere in his life. No, I'm talking about the manliness that knows what makes him come alive, that is driven to pursue a goal, whether that goal is to be star quarterback or first chair in the orchestra. Either one is true masculinity because it's what makes you come alive.

But through the trials of life, we often pick up the message that we're not really a man. We don't have what it takes. You're not good enough to be the QB. Playing an instrument is for wimps. Or to Christianize the failure: The desire to succeed, the desire to excel, those are bad. Meekness and passivity are what you should pursue.

But something about this doesn't sit right, because men were made to fight. Look at little boys on the playground, they'll turn anything into a pretend weapon. We are made to compete, to conquer, to vanquish the enemy. It's what Jesus did. He fought the enemy and he won. For us, the enemy is often our own weakness. We have to recognize the battle that is at hand, and we have to recognize what is at stake. The leader is Jesus Christ, the battle is against the Devil himself, who has infiltrated even to our own hearts, and what is at stake is all the souls entrusted to our care as fathers of families, in whatever form.

God didn't give us men wild hearts to be stumbling blocks for us. He didn't give us wild hearts so that we could suppress them. He gave us wild hearts so that we could fight for him and live like Him. show less

Rated: B-
I read this book when it was popular years ago. Recently, did a re-read. At its core, I think Eldredge believes all men have been wounded in some way or another. I am not sure that is true. For those of us who don't relate to being wounded, we all cannot be in total denial. So, his book has many great insights especially for those who recognize their wound. For others, it still has several good insights.

I am not a fan of John Eldridge or this book. I do agree with some of his presuppositions about our culture but I believe this book takes an immature stance on solving those problems. I also think it creates unnecessary gravitas in young men searching for their place in our feminized society.

As a Reformed Christian I find his theology iffy. I was especially distressed in a few of his examples from life in the book Sacred Romance.

Great premise, bad solution.

I've been reading John Eldredge's book, Wild at Heart, which is actually a book for men -- and maybe for the women that love them -- yet I am reading it as a mom, for the little man-in-training that I have running about. I am finding it really really helpful and interesting. In many ways, it is confirming some of my instincts (and who doesn't love that? This reminds me of a man with whom I had one single solitary date. He -- in describing his ex -- stated without any visible irony, "I thought she was brilliant, she agreed with everything I said!"; I about choked trying to hold back my merriment at his clueless and revealing comment. Anyway, all this to acknowledge my self-affirming relationship with this book).

Eldridge's basic assertion is that every man needs a dragon to slay, an adventure to live, and a beauty to win. And that the dragon to slay, the adventure to live, and the beauty to win are all spiritual. It offers some very intriguing discussions on this as well as more down-to earth concerns that speak to me, a mother of a son. Here are some passages that captured my attention.

"Capes and swords, camouflage, bandannas and six-shooters -- these are the uniforms of boyhood. Little boys yearn to know they are powerful, they are dangerous, they are someone to be reckoned with. [ . . . ] Despite what many modern educators would say, this is not a psychological disturbance brought on by violent television or chemical imbalance. Aggression is part of the masculine design, show more we are hardwired for it. [ . . . ] Life needs a man to be fierce -- and fiercely devoted. The wounds he will take throughout his life will cause him to lose heart if all he has been trained to be is soft.

It was the 'adventure to live' part that was in my mind as I let my son play on, and fall off of the logs the other day.

Eldridge also speaks to the current trend to ask little boys to become more like little girls. You know, sit still, behave nicely, negotiate pleasantly, etc.., which put me in mind of this:

We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise.
We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.
We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful.
~ C.S.Lewis

In my view, virtue and enterprise arise from courage, competitiveness, and opportunities to mess up and learn therein. Honor comes from temptations resisted, not from temptations un-faced. This brought to mind another Lewis passage:

"A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is . . . A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in."

The strong one is the one that regularly encounters and shuns temptations. This also applies, I think, to the wise man. I'm hoping that, as I let my little man often encounter and often choose foolish actions, he will learn (eventually) to make wise choices. We call the foolish choices Learning Opportunities. My sister's hubby calls them Self-Correcting Behaviors. This was also on my mind when I let Dandy play on the logs last Friday.

Wild at Heart also included this passage from Chesterton -- in a completely different chapter and not related to the above-mentioned discussion -- that I really liked and I'm including it in this post because I found it so thought-provoking.

"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. ‘He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,’ is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. This paradox is the whole principle of courage; even quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice. He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like win." ~ G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

I recommend this book to any man who is a father or who has a father. It has some keen observations and some wisdom, particularly if there are some wounds around those relationships.

see more book reviews on my blog: :: Adventures in Daily Living :: show less

One of the many "pendulum swings" in our society involves gender-- differences between the two genders and the relative "value" in those differences. For years masculinity was, no doubt, over-estimated and over-valued; however, the modern feminist movement has surely led to the pendulum being swung too far the other way. Society at large is becoming more and more aware that masculinity has been under-estimated and under-valued; this message is also becoming apparent in religious matters, especially in Christianity.

Over the past decade or so there has been a growing realization that the way that churches are set up and how churches counsel and develop men has become dangerously feminized. It is in such a climate of growing awareness that John Eldredge originally wrote Wild at Heart.

Thomas Nelson has now released a revised and expanded version of Wild at Heart that includes a new preface and an excerpt from Eldredge's book Fathered by God. The majority of the rest, however, remains the same book as originally written.

Eldredge's thesis is that the church has, in short, emasculated men, and he seeks to set forth a way of understanding how one can be both truly masculine and a believer in God. His analysis of churches attempting to develop men as "Really Nice Guys" is not too far off the mark. Blame is appropriately placed at the feet of feminism; the "feminization" of Christianity that has been going on for generations is also at fault (another helpful book in these regards show more is Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow). Eldredge draws from Scripture, mythology, movies, and other similar stories to set forth three essentials for true masculinity: a conflict in which to engage, an adventure in which to participate, and a beauty to win. He shows how this can be accomplished in worldly pursuits, how these are often perverted by the world to lead to false forms of masculinity, and most helpfully, shows how these three can be accomplished in the realm of Christianity.

Eldredge also spends much time discussing the challenges men experience-- the "wound" to their masculinity or inclinations toward true masculinity and how a man must overcome the "wound" in order to return to wholesome masculinity. He also shows how men misdirect their focus and attempt to find their true masculinity in the wrong places-- work, drugs, women, etc. He speaks of the need to develop a close connection with God and to live by true faith, overcoming the "wound" and becoming a fulfilled man in Christ Jesus.

There is much to be commended in the book; one can see oneself and many of the challenges that one's fellow men experience through what is written. Nevertheless, there has been much criticism of the book, and some of it is warranted. Eldredge's attempt to use worldly wisdom to circumvent Jesus' instruction about turning the other cheek is itself unwise and not done well-- Eldredge would do well to understand the distinction between refusing to allow a bully to break the will and being a coward in the face of a bully, and to recognize that Jesus never commends or practices violence in order to counteract violence. Such is not the way of Christ. Sometimes it seems that Eldredge's basis for things is experience and movies, and while those can be helpful images for understanding, they are no substitute for revealed truth.

On the whole, however, it must be recognized that what Eldredge is presenting is a good counterweight to many of the messages heard in religious circles. Cowardice hiding under the pretense of humility is not the way of Christ, and Eldredge is right to expose it. Nevertheless, what Eldredge teaches should not be taken to the other extreme, and it must be remembered that there is a reason why there are more exhortations to humility in Scripture than there are to the assertion of self and self-identity. It is also interesting to note that while Eldredge is writing as a man to men he often uses very soft and feminine language-- intimacy, relationship, and the like. While it is not wrong to use such terms, they could be a hindrance to some men.

Wild at Heart is a great way for men to start a conversation about the importance of re-discovering true masculinity and how one can be a man and serve God. It can be of great value for men who are willing to be open to the difficulties they experienced in the past and how they can overcome those difficulties so as to have a better future in Christ, in the marriage relationship, and with children. The message should just not be taken to extremes.

The work is certainly worth the consideration of all men.

*-book received as part of an early review program. show less

This is a helpful little book on understanding what a man needs to feel he is contributing to the relationship. Men want adventure, and some danger, and to take risks. Their wives / girlfriends should support that. Men worry about being a failure and not enough for the women in their lives. Speckled with Biblical verses, it's definitely an old traditional look at relationships and gender roles. Not everyone's cup of tea, or bourbon, or milkshake.

This book take a look at the "wounded soul" of men and pushes men to, basically, think about people who have "hurt" them in the past. Think about your relationship with your dad. Think about friends, family, bosses, etc. Some of these discussions are interesting, and I think that a lot of what the book talks about is at least somewhat applicable to our lives.

The problem is, they just keep talking and talking, never really having the gumption to discuss what to do about these perceived issues in our lives. They talk about the book as if it's a be-all end-all guide on how to fix the modern male, but that never happens. It never guides men to a real, achievable solution or path to take.

Also, the continuous focus on the imagery of men as warriors can be definitely damaging to people who don't understand their place in the world. I've seen this book do terrible things to people, building them up on a weak scaffolding (of warrior-ship) just to have them fail because they weren't taught how to realistically understand their situation.

I would not purchase this book for my teen, and you shouldn't either unless you take the time to read and study the book and determine if it's something you and your family can handle.

A quick read, and interesting writing style. Clearly one of those books where the author is trying to reach a broad audience. Accordingly, several key passages of the book can be interpreted in multiple ways, and lead to slightly, yet substantively, different conclusions. All in all, I found it a very interesting book. An interesting attempt by a very conservative and religious man to deal with the overwhelming failure as fathers of the boomer generation culture warriors. But the main point of the book is addressing what it means to be a "man," and how to become the man each guy wants to be... A good read, and I think a good place to start to think about the type of questions and issues that each guy needs to address as they struggle for maturity and balance in this time of confused gender roles and social responsibilities.

This book is based on the premise that many men have been emotionally "wounded" and therefore lost their passion and zest for life. The message is Christian-based and is used in some churches in workshops for men seeking more out of life while remaining loyal church members and devoted husbands. The book assumes all men are naturally aggressive but have been feminized by society. There are some good points here but I did not agree with many of them. It is suggested women read this to understand men.

I have to say, I understood what he was trying to get across, but still felt very lost. I couldn’t connect with a lot of what he was saying. So either I’m pretty well off, or super screwed up, lol.

Wild At Heart by John Eldridge is a powerful book for men to uncover the wounds inflicted on us and how to overcome them. I've seen a lot of guys healed and made whole from reading this book and even watching the accompanying video...even though the video is really outdated! It's a very easy read that is easy to discuss but is incredibly insightful.
ACF: Todd Nagel, not currently in ACF's library.

My Summary: Wild at Heart is a book about finding the authentic heart of a man. It is about the spiritual wound that all men suffer and which must be healed.

Wild at Heart gives men the tools which are necessary in order to begin searching for their own hearts, but it is written in a way that is inviting to the women as well (if not more so).

My Thoughts: I liked this book a lot. Not only did Eldredge illustrate God in a way that was new and enlightening for me, but I felt as though this book showed me how to pray for my husband in a way that was more meaningful than simply paying lip service to our marriage. Whether this was Eldredge's intention or not, I am not sure.

I did, however, have some misgivings. Eldredge consistently uses feats of daring or the "wilderness" as a means of defining the wildness of a man, and yet focuses perhaps too little on the man who's dream was to become a musician, or another who dreamed of becoming a doctor. The man who finds a cure for cancer will not have lived any less adventure than the man who brings down the biggest buck. My concern here is that some men (and women) will be discouraged by the feeling that manhood is defined by a certain kind of wildness.

All in all this is an excellent book, and I recommend it for everyone, male and female alike. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more from John and Stasi Eldredge!

I received my copy of Wild at Heart free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I have not been paid to show more give a glowing review of this book. All opinions expressed are my own. show less

Tough reading unless you like mountain climbing and death-defying sports, until you get past the middle of the book, and then it begins to all make sense. Worth the struggle to read through as it challenges our 20th century gender roles and who men really are meant to be.

God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free.

Every man should read this book (as might any woman who wants to understand men). It answers a nagging question most of us only recognize indirectly. It reconciles the nature of men with the culture of our time. It explains a lot and inspires a better life. It shows there is a way to be both disciple and warrior.

Stay away from this book!

Man-centered theology. Open theism. Incorrect understanding of the depravity of a man's heart. Hypocrital call for men to keep pure...yet recommends movies with scenes of crude language and humor, lust, sexual situations, and nudity!

With the call to be "Wild at Heart" I'm afraid Eldredge may be catering to man's flesh. Tempting, huh?

What man doesn't love this book? He tells you to watch Braveheart. He gives you freedom to be a man.
Here's what i think, I think more women need to read this than men.

Where in the Bible does it really suggest that men should be "Wild at Heart?" living constantly on the edge and taking all kinds of risks and engaging in dangerous activities. Of course this idea will appeal to younger men and new Christians but it is completely the opposite of the Biblical model of denying self and taking up the cross to follow Jesus. There's nothing weak or unmanly about that!

This is just one more book in a long series of current Christian writings that really has very little substance and is more about a pep-rally than actual theological depth and transformation.

I recognize the importance of encouraging people to embrace their 'manliness' but this book is a little too Tim Allen for me...

Considering everyone said I HAD to read this book, it was pretty much a let down. Eldredge claims that all women desire the dangerous man. I don't completley disagree with that, but I think he's wrong that women don't desire the nice guy. Some good stuff.

I enjoyed this, my husband did not. I found some of the ideas of maleness and femaleness sound, others not. A good book to be read.

Challenging and thought provoking, but a bit outdated. Needs to be revised and updated.

I am currently at a great crossroad in my life. My wife of 18 years has left me for another man. Naturally many questions come into a man's mind at this time. This book has ceratinly answered many of those questions as well as started a new thirst in me to find out more about the masculine soul

John Eldredge invites Men to recover their dreams and to recover their masculine heart, define in the image of a passionate God. Men don't know how to keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives or raise their children because they have been taught from childhood to be a good boy. Deep in his heart every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. Eldredge gives us many examples of how men have come to lose their heart and to lose their way on the things that count. He says we must take risks to climb out of these restless lives and take back your heart. Get to know God and know what God wants you to do. If you listen to him you can throw away that early little boy training you were given and be a man. The man your wife wants you to be. The man your children want you to be. To do this you must pray to Christ and listen to him and to make the hard decisions you need to make to follow Christ and to teach others how to follow Christ.

I enjoyed this book - many of the same themes as "Captivating" but written for men. I found the insights in manhood interesting.

Well, yes and no. He paints with a rather broad brush. My husband said that a lot of it rang true for him, but other parts were off the mark...for him. It was somewhat informative.

There are so many good books out there to read and reflect upon, and so little time to read them. In light of this situation, I recommend you not read this book. Trust me, find something by John Owen and use your mind.

I found this book to be quite boring, and not stimulating at all. Nothing personal against Eldredge, I just did not care for this work. His theology of God is questionable at best.

One of the best books I've read in a long time. A must for every man. I suggest it for women and mothers of boys too to gain insight on the male life. I hated when I got to the last chapter, cause I knew the ride was almost over!

borders on heresy. shallow view of manhood. great stories, but awful view of God.

This is is a fantastic relationship book. It gets back to who men should be and who woman want men to be. At it's heart it gives permission to men to be men, not the emasculated man that society wants men to be today. The cool part of this book is it adds to the relationship you have with women.

Great book. Several times I had to stop and say "Wow". This book gives great insight to how we men think and why.

An invitation to men to rediscover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. an invitation to women to discover the secret of a man's soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer.

Interesting book. Probably good for small group (intimate) church structures.

Very good book. Will challenge your current perspective.

ok at best, with some good stories

Not sure what I think about this book yet

This is one of the best books for Christian men that I have read. It should be required reading.

This book changed my life. When I read it for the first time in 2007, it started me on the path of healing.

OK the last chapter saved this. Only just though.


1 0f 23 books all for $10.

Crap

A BOOK FOR MEN AND A LOOK AT THEIR WILD SPIRIT AND WHY IT IS GOOD TO DEVELOP IT

Awesome. Highly recommended. I couldn't wait to read the next chapter. It has a message about men returning to the type of Christian that God had designed for us to be. Read it.

Incredible, a must read for every guy who has a desire to be a man that God wants us to be like.

LIBRERA 1 FRONTAL
ESTANTE 1

I wrote a review and published it here: http://wp.me/p382tY-gL
Check it out!

Read my review of this book on my blog: http://www.comingstobrazil.com/blog/archives/2010/05/book-review-wil.php