Twitter Quotes

“Becoming a lake has put a lot of things in perspective for me.”
― Heather Christle

“I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!”
― Jonah Goldberg

“Memo to extreme partisans: If you can't bring yourselves to love your enemies, can you at least learn to hate your friends?”
― Walter Kirn

“This is how it works now with the news: the story begins with a moral, then a narrative is fashioned to support it.”
― Walter Kirn

“I realise I'm behind on this but Rebekah Brooks was married to Ross Kemp of Gangs fame?! And she assaulted him? That explains so much.”
― Mandy Wiener, Killing Kebble: An Underworld Exposed

“Given Loughner's obsession with meaninglessness and language, maybe Foucault & Derrida deserve some fault here, too.”
― Walter Kirn

“[T]he anti-vitriol vitriol is getting ugly.”
― Walter Kirn

“New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'

Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.”
― Andy Zaltzman

“Since Modi's Mumbai sign-off, much commentary has been focused on the brand-dilution potential inherent in its scandals. MS Dhoni doesn't think we should worry: 'IPL as a brand can survive on its own.' Shilpa Shetty, 'brand ambassador' of the Rajasthan Royals, tweets that we should: 'Custodians of Cricket must not hamper d Brandvalue of this viable sport.' Hampering d Brandvalue, insists new IPL boss Chirayu Amin, is the furthest thing from his mind: 'IPL's brand image is strong and nobody can touch that.' Harsha Bhogle, however, frets for the nation: 'Within the cricket world, Brand India will take a hit.'

Not much more than a week after Modi's first tell-all tweets, the media was anxiously consulting Brand Finance's managing director, Unni Krishnan. Had there been any brand dilution yet? It was, said the soothsayer gravely, 'too early to say'. He could, however, confirm the following: 'The wealth that can be created by the brand is going to be substantially significant for many stakeholders. A conducive ecosystem has to be created to move the brand to the next level… We have to build the requisite bandwidth to monetise these opportunities.' Er, yeah… what he said. Anyway, placing a value on the IPL brand has clearly been quite beneficial to Brand Finance's brand.”
― Gideon Haigh

“Twitter is an ideal—almost too ideal—playground for Musk. It rewards players who are impulsive, irreverent, and unfiltered, like a flamethrower for the thumbs.”
― Walter Isaacson, Elon Musk

“It is very dangerous for one to be wise if his leaders are mugginses.”
― ZABs👹🔥✊🏿

“Run nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga.”
― Justin Bieber

“A surprisingly good heuristic for "how outlier-y/crappy is my data":

- N is number of datapoints.
- Sort your data.
- Get rid of the first and last k * sqrt(N) points.

For what value of k does the data start to look "sensible"?

k < 0.3: pretty good data
k > 3: pretty bad data”
― AgustinLebron3

“They are all gone somewhere. Someone on twitter, someone on instagram, someone on facebook...No one is at home.”
― Ljupka Cvetanova, Yet Another New Land

“I remain easily optimistic in the face of everything happening. Consider the most amazing person you personally know, by any quality metric you choose. Odds are that there are literally millions of their caliber in the world, which is plenty to build a bright future.”
― John Carmack

“Now, I guess, the front lines are just me and 280 characters on a phone screen.”
― Emma Lord, Tweet Cute

“Contact collapse! That sounded pretty, bad didn't it, and also like the thing that was happening to the honeybees?”
― Patricia Lockwood, No One Is Talking About This

“if my tweets get on your god damn nerves, block me first, kill me with your powerful brain”
― Samantha Irby, Wow, No Thank You.: Essays

“Religion seeks meaning where there is none.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Atheism Memes: 40 Reasons Why I'm An Atheist

“Being opposed to progress has always been the wrong side of history.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert

“Twitter romances are fleeting, much like daffodils that bloom in spring and fade away, only to return again next year.”
― Shahid Hussain Raja

“DNA is a data storage device. Why don't we just grow lab creatures whose entire existence is as living servers hosting the ever-increasing amount of digital trash created by Twitter shitposters?”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Are you familiar with the phrase "to grok"?
It comes from the 1961 novel Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein. The main character is a human raised on Mars whose English language is peppered with Martian words. "To grok something" means to wrap your head around a concept.”
― Suzanne Giesemann, The Awakened Way: Making the Shift to a Divinely Guided Life

“Dear John Twitter
(Delete Twitter Sonnet)

For a long time I've been
backin' away from twitter,
but I didn't cut tie completely
hoping that it might get better.

Now that a far right billionaire baboon
has turned it into the internet sewer,
there's no point to hanging on to filth,
twitter used to be relevant, but no longer.

From time to time, colonial morons try to
bring back the good ol' days of segregation.
It's up to the human society to take charge,
and castrate their ambition through isolation.

Quarantine rabid dogs by absolute dissociation,
To entertain filth is to perpetrate uncivilization.”
― Abhijit Naskar, The Divine Refugee

“Now that a far right billionaire baboon
has turned it into the internet sewer,
there’s no point to hanging on to filth,
twitter used to be relevant, but no longer.

From time to time, colonial morons try to
bring back the good ol’ days of segregation.
It’s up to the human society to take charge,
and castrate their ambition through isolation.

Quarantine rabid dogs by absolute dissociation,
To entertain filth is to perpetrate uncivilization.”
― Abhijit Naskar, The Divine Refugee

“Humanovator (The Sonnet)

Chatgpt pampers plagiarism,
Facebook pampers conspiracy.
More and more innovations are
becoming catalyst of catastrophe.

Note, I didn't mention the birdie,
Very mindful, very demure.
Facebook can still be repaired,
but once a MAGA, always a sewer.

Innovation that outlives its usefulness,
is no longer innovation but carnivoration.
Innovators not in touch with soil-n-roots,
are predators of the concrete jungle.

The golden age of startups is behind us,
today it's mostly filth, fraud and smut.
Amidst the crowd of trust fund termites,
be the humanovator to humanize the world.”
― Abhijit Naskar, The Divine Refugee

“There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see.”
― Jordan B Peterson

“When I kill God I will find the spigot from which he meters out grace and smash it permanently open.”
― Twitter

“Used to see Jimmy Savile at the Flying Pizza on Street Lane, Roundhay. Always in good spirits. RIP”
― Liz Truss

“After a long silence, I had reactivated my Twitter account to help with the launch of Victory City, retweeting reviews and so on. But Twitter is a poisoned well, and if you dip a bucket into it you draw up your share of filth. When it offered me an Oxford professor’s view that those defending me had a “neoliberal idea of free speech,” I could set that aside with no more than a shrug. But there were also various Muslim voices celebrating what had happened to me, hoping I lost my other eye, and comparing me, in my monocular condition, to the figure of the Dajjal, the one-eyed “false Messiah” of Muslim demonology, who first pretends to be a prophet and later also claims to be God. I stood “revealed,” I was informed, as the Dajjal I truly was. Also, I looked deformed, hideous, like a monster, and so on. It was unnecessary to allow this trash into my head. It had nothing to do with love or work. Happily, without any regrets, I deleted the Twitter app from my phone.”
― Salman Rushdie, Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder