"Maison Des Lunes" is a song exclusive to the musical stage adaptation of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It features Gaston, LeFou, and Monsieur D'Arque as they plot to throw Belle's father Maurice in the insane asylum to blackmail her into marrying Gaston.
The song was performed by Gaston's actor Burke Moses, LeFou's actor Kenny Raskin, and D'Arque's actor Gordon Stanley.
Lyrics[]
<poem> There's a danger I'll be thwarted And denied my honeymoon For the pretty thing I've courted Refuses to swoon
So, the time has come for a murky plan For which I turn to a murky man To find that fiend Where better than The Maison des Lunes?
I don't take this girl for granted There's no path I haven't hewn To her heart; no seed unplanted No flowers unstrewn
But quite amazing to relate She doesn't want me for her mate Which forces him to contemplate The Maison des Lunes
I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse But I don't see how I can be of use For I lock people up; I'm not a "Lonely Heart's club" I'm a cold, cold fish I've a nasty, vicious streak Please speak!
It's Belle's father who's your client She adores the old buffoon She'll be forced to be complaint She'll dance to your tune We get the daughter through her dad You just pronounce the old boy mad And, whoosh! He's slammed up in your pad-- The Maison des Lunes
Do I make myself entirely clear? It's the simplest deal of my whole foul career!
Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments In a dreadful state She'll capitulate to me!
I'll be strapping up an inmate Very tightly Very soon But please don't bring him late Our check-in time's noon!
So, wave one bachelor goodbye She'll be my bride She'd rather die... Than have her daddy ossify In my sordid saloon
So book the church; raise the glasses high
To the Maison des Lunes!
When a man like me is thwarted And denied his honeymoon
When the pretty thing he's courted Refuses to swoon
Then the time has come for a murky plan For which he turns to a murky man To find that fiend where better than At the Maison des Lunes?
You'll be strapping up an inmate Very tightly, very soon But we won't bring him in late Your check-in time's noon
How sad Maurice is not too well Prepare a five-star padded cell! And book him in for a long, long spell At the Maison des Lunes
Do I make myself entirely clear? It's the simplest deal of your whole foul career Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments In a dreadful state She'll capitulate to me
Oh! Oh! Oh, I love incarceration I could lock up a platoon We'll apply your inclination To a mad old buffon
Then wave one bachelor goodbye She'll be my bride She'd rather die... Than have her daddy ossify
The time's opportune
So book the church, raise glasses high To the Maison des Lunes!
</poem>Other Appearances[]
- The song was featured in the Broadway production of the musical with slightly altered lyrics.
- The song was featured on the Broadway musical's soundtrack.
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