- Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
- Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
- Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
  
Ziff it to the Limit
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| Ziff it to the Limit
|
| Tapped Out Quest Information
|
Ziff it to the Limit is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the A Simpsons Christmas Special content update. It requires Young Artie Ziff to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Young Artie Ziff's exclamation mark
|
|
In conclusion, "public displays of affection" are detrimental to a high school's mission, which is education. They should be outlawed and punishable by immediate expulsion.
|
|
Well put, Artie. And now, taking the "pro" side in this debate... Marge Bouvier.
|
|
While my opponent makes some excellent points, he ignores the fact that we are inherently emotional beings.
|
|
Not all of us! As an evolved teenager, my thought processes are entirely logical.
|
|
|
We students are supposed to be learning about all aspects of life. And one of those is surely love.
|
|
Love is a chemical process in the brain designed to prompt organisms to reproduce. Right, my fellow teenagers?
|
|
|
An insightful and chilling argument, Mr. Ziff. I'm impressed and disturbed.
|
| Task: "Make Young Artie Try to Counter the Argument". The job takes place at Springfield High School, Springfield Library, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
|
|
|
Seriously, Marge. I must have missed "Introduction to Love" in the school course guide.
|
|
If you've never experienced love, Artie, then maybe you don't know EVERYTHING.
|
|
|
An interesting proposition. Very well. I shall open myself to the feeling of love.
|
|
|
There! I have just retasked a region of my neocortex to run algorithms based on emotion, not logic.
|
|
|
Oh my stars. Look at those waves of blue hair. Look at those limpid eyes. Marge Bouvier is the embodiment of perfection!
|
Quest reward:  100 and  10
|
|
| After tapping on Young Artie Ziff's exclamation mark
|
|
|
What's come over me? Yesterday I was just your average, unfeeling, smartest teenager in the world.
|
|
|
Today my heart is pounding! I hear music that defies all description!
|
|
Everywhere I look, Marge Bouvier is there. I'm lost! A Ziff adrift!
|
|
I enjoyed our debate today, Artie! You're really smart.
|
|
|
I-I-I-I. Oh. Hmm. That is... er... der... duh... duuuuhhhhh....
|
|
|
...
|
|
|
Guuuuhhhhhh...
|
| Task: "Make Young Artie Be Tongue-Tied for the First Time". The job takes place at Springfield High School, Springfield Library, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
|
|
Are you okay, Artie?
|
|
|
For the first time in my life, yes! How shall I put this? My very loins are aflame with the inferno of masculine desire.
|
|
|
Uh, okay! Whatever that means! Like I said, you're a real smart guy. See ya around!
|
| Quest reward: 100 and 10
|
|
| After tapping on Young Artie Ziff's exclamation mark
|
|
|
Get your head together, Ziff! Find something to take your mind off Marge.
|
|
|
Perhaps I should prove the Riemann hypothesis? No, too easy. I need something meatier...
|
|
|
I could perfect my cold fusion device. No, the last thing the world needs is limitless clean energy...
|
|
What about some painting? Ah, yes. Painting, like joke writing, is truly mankind's most complete waste of time.
|
|
|
Out into the garden for some fresh air and sunlight!
|
| Task: "Make Young Artie be Creatively Creepy". The job takes place at the Marge Sculpture Garden and takes 4 hours.
|
|
*sigh* Painting is no use. Even my highly refined brushwork and impeccable gouache cannot capture Marge's beauty.
|
|
|
If I cannot escape her siren call, then I must make her mine.
|
|
|
I wonder if she knows how lucky she is to have won the heart of Artie Ziff?!
|
| Quest reward: 100 and 10
|
|
| After completing Pt. 3
|
|
Artie, Marge. I want a good clean debate today. No mocking each other.
|
|
|
Why would I mock Artie?
|
|
|
Well, like you, he takes debate class, which makes him a tremendous nerd. Again, like you. Anyway... get us started, Artie.
|
|
|
Thank you, Mr. Chalmers. Beautiful Margery, prepare to experience the greatest joy a woman can know...
|
|
|
Having a man tell her she's wrong about everything!
|
| Task: "Make Artie Ziff Dominate at Debate". The job takes place at Springfield High School or a Brown House and takes 8 hours.
|
|
|
In conclusion, let me reiterate that string theory, though a useful thought experiment, is ultimately unverifiable and therefore moot!
|
|
|
Marge, rebuttal.
|
|
|
I... I thought we were debating whether pollution was bad?
|
|
|
Well, yes. But I thought you deserved to be dazzled by my grasp of abstract mathematical theory. You're welcome!
|
|
|
Actually, I was... a little bored.
|
|
|
By Artie Ziff? Impossible!
|
| Quest reward: 100 and 10
|
|
| After completing Pt. 4
|
|
|
Margery, I have wonderful news. I'm... interested in you. Congratulations! You are hereby approved to date me, Artie Ziff.
|
|
|
Oh. Uh, Artie, I didn't realize your feelings ran that way...
|
|
|
Well, they do! Your every wish is thus fulfilled, and your future is assured. You will not die alone. How splendid for you!
|
|
|
Gee, I'm really not sure I'm interested...
|
|
|
Then you soon shall be! Behold, the full glory of Artie Ziff!
|
| Task: "Make Young Artie Dance Like Marge is Watching". The job takes 24 hours.
|
|
|
*panting* Shall we... shall we start planning the wedding?
|
|
|
You seem very sure of yourself.
|
|
|
Wouldn't you be, if you were me? Of course, if you WERE me, we'd make an even cuter couple!
|
|
|
...I'm sorry, Artie. But the man I marry will be a gentleman AND a scholar. And he'll have a full head of hair and washboard abs. *walks off*
|
|
|
*yelling down the hall* You'll come around, Margery! Oh yes, you will! Or my name isn't Artie Ziff!
|
| Quest reward: 200 and 20
|
|
|
