Flash Sentry: Cloudy mornings will clear up in a flash. [plays guitar] Giving us clear skies all week to jam out to this tune. And that's your Weather... in a Flash. [clicks tongue]
Rarity: Thank you, Flash. Now for this week's most essential forecast: trends, featuring me, Rarity, your on-trend friend. As always, I look to Prim Hemline's style guide for inspiration. [sighs] Which I have memorized, so, uh... the latest trend simply has to be, uh... Don't panic, Rarity. You once made a skirt out of slap bracelets. You can find inspiration anywhere!
Choose Twilight Sparkle! ending[]
Rarity: The latest trend: Smart is Chic!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Trixie Lulamoon: Twilight, the Great and Powerful and Smart Trixie has a question for you and you alone. How do I get to that cool place with those little bound stacks of paper?
Twilight Sparkle: Books? Do you mean the library?
Trixie Lulamoon: The library!
Twilight Sparkle: Down the hallway to your right.
Trixie Lulamoon: Library, here we come!
Silver Spoon: Twilight, which word is cooler? "Boronic" or "onomatopoeia"?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, they're both kind of bombastic.
Diamond Tiara: "Bomb-tastic"? Oh, oh, I love that! It's like "da bomb" plus "fantastic"!
Twilight Sparkle: No. Bombastic means overly florid in an attempt to sound impressive.
Twilight Sparkle: There's a month-long wait list to check out the sequel to the book I just finished.
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Arthropods"?
Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs] Not everything, obviously. Why is everyone suddenly into the stuff I'm into and taking my books?
Rarity: I may have taken the teeniest, tiniest, little bit of inspiration from... well, you. I'm sorry, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. That's okay, Rarity. I'm flattered. Besides, trends come and go, but friendship is always in fashion.
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: Ooooh!
Rarity: And not to worry. Dramatic capes are about to pop!
Students: Ski-ence! Capes? Capes! [clamoring]
[zip!]
Choose Rainbow Dash! ending[]
Rarity: The latest trend has to be... rainbows! Sherbets, sprinkles, or rainbow hair – it's all in!
Rainbow Dash: Well, duh!
Rarity: Oh, so glad I found you, Rainbow Dash. I am tailoring a particularly tricky pinafore, and I was wondering if...
Trixie Lulamoon: The Great and Powerful—!
Rarity: Oh, uh, thank you. Uh, b-but I'm late for... b-being over there. [laughing] I just had the most embarrassing mix-up. I thought I was talking to you— [gasps, stammering] No, no. No, it can't-can't be. Oh! Excuse me! [screams]
[thud]
Rarity: [narrating] Submitted for your approval. A portrait of a school taken over by a trend. Namely, a hairstyle. Rainbow in nature, the calling card of one ROY G. BIV.
Rarity: Oof!
Rarity: [narrating] So if you choose to enroll in this class-wide craze, hurry up and catch the bus headed for... the Rainbow Zone.
Rarity: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Hey, Rarity. I don't know what it is, but everyone looks awesome today!
Choose Pinkie Pie! ending[]
Rarity: [gasps] Confetti! Of course!
Pinkie Pie: [hyperventilating] Confetti? I love confetti! And parties and cupcakes and surprises, but most of all... [deep breath] Confetti!
[squeak!]
Applejack: Can the next trend be a little less... messy, Rarity?
Twilight Sparkle: [sneezes]
Rarity: Well, this place needed a little color, don't you think?
[squeak! squeak! squeak!]
Applejack: If Principal Celestia sees this, we'll be in trouble. Let's get to cleanin'!
[montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: [whistles]
Applejack: Party's over, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: A party? And I missed it?! Aw, shoot! I was busy spreading the joy of confetti to the whole entire school!
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity: We know!
Principal Celestia: Great job cleaning up, girls. Pinkie Pie, lay off the confetti, okay?
Pinkie Pie: Okay...
[SQUEAK!]
Rarity: [sighs] This afternoon's trend forecast... Detention.
Pinkie Pie: Wheeee! [giggles]
Fluttershy's Butterflies[]
Rainbow Dash: Auditions for the Fall Play!
Applejack: I can't believe we're doin' "Dazzled" this year.
Rarity: Ooh! Nothing holds a candle to the glamour of legitimate theater. I was born for the lead — Selfie Soot! [in a Southern belle accent] A coal miner's daughter with the heart of a dancer.
Pinkie Pie: Let's all do the play together! Aah! It'll be like planning an amazing party where everything has to be perfect or we get embarrassed in front of the whole school. Right, Fluttershy?
[zip!]
Fluttershy: [quietly] I'm Fluttershy, trying out for Coal Miner #2. Ahem. "Down here, we mine for coal."
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you okay, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Ohhh... It would be so fun to be in the play with all of you. But when I think about trying out on stage all alone... Mm-mm.
Rainbow Dash: You perform all the time with the Rainbooms.
Fluttershy: Well, it's different when we're all together. It's less... terrifying.
Applejack: You know, I got just the trick for stage fright.
Rainbow Dash: I bet I could help, too – in half the time as Applejack.
Applejack: It ain't a contest. But if it were, I'd win.
Fluttershy: Really? Hmm... Who should I pick to help me?
Choose Rainbow Dash ending[]
Rainbow Dash: You just need a little practice speaking in front of a crowd. Ready?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm. [distressed squeal]
Rainbow Dash: You'll thank me later. Game on!
Fluttershy: [taps microphone]
[feedback]
[whistle blows]
[students cheering]
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] Here goes. Um, in between two with the... score time...
"Cherry Crash" and "Mystery Mint": Huh?
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] She's bringing, um... Oh, help me, somebody. The... ball goes up, and... boom goes a header ball— a-a head ball. Uh... Oh, no. [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: Lose yourself in the game! Come on, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [sighs, over loudspeaker] Number twenty-two is pushing to the... limit. The ball, it's tucked away by number thirty-four, who passes back to Dash. She holds it, makes her move. She's coming, hears the crowd, she's wide open! I don't believe it!
Fluttershy: Down here, we mine for... cooooooaaaaaaaal!
[students cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. And the crowd goes wild.
Choose Applejack ending[]
Applejack: Surefirest cure for stage fright is to picture everyone in the audience as a bunch of chickens.
Fluttershy: Chickens?
Applejack: Heh. A little cluck-cluck, and it'll pluck ya right up. You never heard of this trick?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm.
Applejack: Everyone does it. And I mean everyone.
Fluttershy: Even you?
[chicken clucks]
Fluttershy: Oh.
Applejack: Told ya.
Applejack: [voiceover, echoing] Picture everyone in the audience as a bunch of chickens...
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Applejack: [clucking]
Fluttershy: I'm Fluttershy, trying out for Coal Miner #2. "Down here, we mine for coal."
[overlapped approval]
Applejack: Heh. Chicken trick worked, huh?
Fluttershy: Actually, I pictured everyone in the audience as you, Applejack.
Applejacks: We believe in you, Fluttershy!
Applejack: Heh. Awww. Well, I'm glad you were able to imagine it in one way or the other. 'Cause my backup plan wasn't so hot.
[chickens clucking]
Applejack: [clears throat] Speakin' of which, I should probably get them back to the farm.
[chicken clucks]
Choose DJ Pon-3 ending[]
[loud, bass-heavy music]
Fluttershy: Down here, we mine for coal.
[students cheering]
Rarity: Wow. She really knows how to make an entrance.
Text Support[]
[school bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: How cool is chemistry class? I can't believe I got to come up with my very own chemical formula – jalapeño supernova cupcake frosting! [slurps]
[phone buzzing]
Sunset Shimmer: That wasn't the assignment.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, you sound just like my lab partners. [to Snips and Snails] Couldn't have done it without you guys!
Twilight Sparkle: I just got the weirdest text from Timber Spruce.
Twilight Sparkle: What does it mean? Is it an inside joke? A hieroglyphic reference? A secret code? Ugh! My brain feels weird. I'm not used to not knowing things.
Rarity: Hmmm. Sounds like you could use a translator.
Fluttershy: I could help.
Sunset Shimmer: Leave this one to me.
Twilight Sparkle: Who can get me out of this text-astrophe?
Choose Rarity! ending[]
Rarity: As you are no doubt keenly aware, I am fluent in all the latest text slang, "phone lingo". [chuckles] If I may?
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh. So, you're just gonna—
Rarity: No, no, darling.
[phone chimes]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much. But what'd I just say?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, but what just happened?
Rarity: Oh, well, I started by sending a dragon because you're powerful, ice cube and snail because you're cool but take it slow, and then pyramid, well, for obvious reasons. Then he was way into it, so in this last one, I was just double-checking. You and Timber Spruce have a date on Sunday at three o'clock to have ice cream.
Twilight Sparkle: Thumbs up, smiley face!
Rarity: You're welcome.
Choose Fluttershy! ending[]
Twilight Sparkle: So, what are you thinking, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: I'd start with... a bird.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good.
Fluttershy: Then iguana, guinea pig, regular pig, frog, baby chick in the egg, baby chick out of the egg, all three see-no-evil monkeys, cat, cat, cat, cat, all the cats, and, um...
[squirrel chitters]
Fluttershy: ...finish it with a squirrel on his hind legs.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good. Sent. That was perfect! So, what did we just send?
Fluttershy: A bunch of cute animal emojis! [giggles]
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: But what does it mean?!
[phone buzzes]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] He says yes to the zoo! The zoo? Ohhhh! The zoo! Thank you, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: No matter what the problem is, adorable animals are always the answer.
Choose Sunset Shimmer! ending[]
Twilight Sparkle: Timber Spruce wants to dress up like pirates and fly through waterfalls with an alligator while we eat ice cream with golf clubs for spoons?! That's crazy! Golf clubs would make terrible spoons.
Sunset Shimmer: Have you thought about maybe asking him what he means?
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, great idea! How would I ask that in emojis?
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh.
[phone beeps, dials]
Twilight Sparkle: Calling?! No calling! Who talks on the phone?! [strains] Sunset, whyyyy?!
Sunset Shimmer: Mm. Mm-hmm. That text you sent Twilight Sparkle. Mm-hmm. Ohhh! [chuckles] That's what you meant? That's what Twilight thought, but we weren't sure. Thanks.
Twilight Sparkle: You just... boy talked... mouth words... phone.
Sunset Shimmer: He's wondering if you're free to play pirate alligator mini-golf this weekend.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, duh! Of course! How do I say yes?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh. Heh.
[indistinct talking]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
Stressed in Show[]
Rarity: [in a Southern belle accent] Mother, I fear I do not share your dreams of coal. Instead, my heartbeat calls for me to dance!
[beat]
Rarity: Ahem. Heartbeat calls for me to dance? To dance!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry. Uh... [reading] But Selfie Soot, my sweet summer child, without your help, I'll never mine the mine in time. Or run lines with Flash Sentry in time, or help Applejack build a stage in time, or practice my monologue in time, or find time for time and time! [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, am I missing a page?
Sunset Shimmer: Um, when was the last time you took a break from the play?
Twilight Sparkle: Take a break! Break a leg! Break a take!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] I think she's broken.
Sunset Shimmer: Breathe, Twilight. You just need something to take your mind off the play a little while. We're here for you. Right, everyone?
Rainbow Dash: Of course!
Fluttershy: Let one of us help take your mind off it.
Pinkie Pie: You bet!
Choose Fluttershy! ending[]
[bird chirps]
Fluttershy: Ta-da! Just what you needed. An escape to nature.
[squish]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. I got mud on my boots.
Twilight Sparkle: Boots?! That reminds me! I need to help Rarity design Selfie Soot's magic boots for the play!
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no. Don't think about that. Think about... this. [whispering] Be as cute as you can possibly be.
Angel: [chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: Aww! He's adorable!
Fluttershy: It's why I love nature so much more than big cities.
Twilight Sparkle: Shiny City! Applejack is building the city sets while we're out here lost in the woods!
Fluttershy: Aah! Animals, unite!
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: Dazzle her with your tranquility.
Twilight Sparkle: "Dazzled" is the name of the play!
[birds chirping, hooting]
[woodpecker pecking]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Oh, yeah. This... this is nice. Heh. So relaxing, so calm, so... [snoring]
Fluttershy: Shhh. Let her take a little nap, everyone. All we need now is some volunteers to keep her warm. Spunky and Plunky, are you up to the task?
[skunks chittering]
Choose Rainbow Dash! ending[]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Twilight! Only ten laps to go!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm fasting as lap as I can!
Rainbow Dash: A great practice always clears my head. I promise. You'll feel great in no time. Right, guys?
Sunset Shimmer: [panting] We'll catch up!
[rock montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Hi-yah!
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi-yah!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Woo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Hah. Look at that. You beat me. And I only sorta let you win.
Twilight Sparkle: I feel completely de-stressed. And we managed to give Spike some exercise.
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles] And I guess Sunset, too.
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Wow.
Choose Pinkie Pie! ending[]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I know what we could do to get your mind off the play. We could ask Rarity for a makeover. Oh! Or ask Bulk Biceps for a massage. He gives such good massages. Or we could ask Applejack to whip you up an apple face mask. Ah, there are so many options! Maybe too many options? It's kind of stressful just thinking about it. Right? Huh? Where'd you go?
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Take a look at this! I made an anti-stress list. You love lists, don't you? Well, to start, this is a list of lists we could make. We could make a list about color, a list about numbers, a list about buckets, lists— Twilight? Twilight?
[school bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Whew.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Aaaah!
Pinkie Pie: I had a feeling you'd be here.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, listen. I really appreciate what you're trying to do and everything, but it's too much. All day, all I've been able to think about is, "Where's Pinkie Pie? Where's Pinkie Pie?" I haven't had one moment to...
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: ...think about the play. [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: You're welcome!
Driving Miss Shimmer[]
Fluttershy: What do you mean you failed?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs, groans] Mr. Cranky Doodle said I didn't have enough experience to pass the driving test. I have a retest on Monday, but it's my last chance, and he wants me to practice with someone more experienced.
Rarity: Oh, pfft. Darling, is that all? I can take you any time you like.
Applejack: Don't fret your fritters. I can borrow Granny's truck.
Fluttershy: We could use my car.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, I guess I'll go with...
Choose Rarity ending[]
[limo screeches]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh?
Rarity: Isn't it fabulous? I rented it for the day. If you're going to study driving, you must do it in style. I call it "stretch chic".
[door closes]
[car vrooming]
Rarity: Now, just a few things that you absolutely must know. Always have both sparkling and still water. You never know which one your passengers will prefer. Never play the music too loud or too soft. It has to be just enough that their heads bob but not so much that they cover their ears. And finally, always have your lights on the ready in case of an impromptu party breaking out.
Sunset Shimmer: Your headlights?
[dance music playing]
Sunset Shimmer: Rarity, I'm not going to prom. I'm just trying to pass my driving test.
Rarity: Darling, can't we do both?
Rarity: Just a little bit— Oh! No, an inch to the left. Now—ooh, careful! The shoulder! Watch the shoulder! Ooh, driving can be stressful, darling.
Cranky Doodle: Not bad, Sunset. You completed the left turn, the right turn, the U-turn, and the K-turn. But now comes the party where everyone fails – parallel parking. Don't expect to—
Sunset Shimmer: Done.
Cranky Doodle: Where on Earth did you learn to do that?
Sunset Shimmer: Mmm, I just had to... stretch my talents.
Cranky Doodle: I don't get it. Eh.
Choose Applejack ending[]
Sunset Shimmer: Thanks for helping me out, Applejack.
Applejack: Think nothin' of it. I've been lookin' for a reason to take a spin in the old jalopy.
Granny Smith: Who are you callin' a jalopy?!
Sunset Shimmer: [coughing]
Granny Smith: See? Like she's fresh off the lot.
Applejack: Whew. I can't believe she's still in such good condition.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, she's something, all right.
Granny Smith: You girls ready for the ride of your lives?
[engine revving]
Granny Smith: Now, the first thing you ought to know is—
[pop, hiss]
Granny Smith: ...be prepared.
Sunset Shimmer: To fail?
Granny Smith: For anything.
Applejack: [grunts] All right, Sunset. Use that wrench to loosen the bolts, and we'll get this tire replaced in two shakes of an apple tree.
Sunset Shimmer: Heh. And what if I don't have you and Granny Smith around?
Applejack: Well...
Cranky Doodle: Oh, this is unfortunate. Of course I know how to change a tire, but, uh, I wouldn't want you waiting around. So I guess, uh... you fail? Is that fair? Hmm?
Sunset Shimmer: Not to worry. I know exactly what we need.
Cranky Doodle: Ya do?
Sunset Shimmer: An apple-jack. [chuckles]
Choose Fluttershy ending[]
Fluttershy: Sunset, over here!
Sunset Shimmer: Sweet ride, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: In you go, Miss Kitty.
[cat meows]
Sunset Shimmer: All right! I'm ready to clock some miles on this bad boy! Let's do this!
Fluttershy: [rhythmically] It's the driving safety rhyme. Start your trip with seat belt time. Nine and three is where you'll be. Adjust your mirror to see things clearer. Check your little engine light to make sure that the trip's all right. The coolest drivers will admire—
Sunset Shimmer: All right!
Fluttershy: ...properly inflated tires.
Sunset Shimmer: So, what are we learning first? Turns? Switching lanes? Parking?
Fluttershy: Oh! Funny you should ask. I actually have a rhyme for that, too.
[horn blares]
Cranky Doodle: Now, Sunset, I know all this safety business might seem boring to you – and it is – but it's also... [groans] ...important. Tell me what do you do even before you start the car.
Sunset Shimmer: Turn up the radi— Oh, not that. [rhythmically] It's the driving safety rhyme. Start your trip with seat belt time. Nine and three is where you'll be. Adjust your mirror to see things clearer.
Cranky Doodle: Very nice. If your driving's as good as your rhymings, I'm sure you'll do just fine...-ings.
Sunset Shimmer: [rhythmically] I had some help from the best. Now it's time to pass this test.
Cranky Doodle: Just start the car.
Rarity Investigates: The Case of the Bedazzled Boot[]
Flash Sentry: [reading] I tell ya, no coal-minin' daughter of ours is goin' to Shiny City wearin' boots like those!
Sunset Shimmer: Cut!
Snips: [chuckling]
Sunset Shimmer: Snips, Snails, where's the other boot?
Snips: Hey, props ain't our job.
Sunset Shimmer: Yes, it is. Your job is props.
Snips: Well, yes, but... Right.
Sunset Shimmer: The play about is magic dancing boots. No one's buying tickets to see a magic dancing boot.
Rarity: [gasps] Somebody's pilfered my bedazzled boot, eh? Not good. But a new case falling right into my lap? Not bad. Don't you worry your sweet red head... redhead. [snaps fingers] Speaking as the lead whose foot that boot adorns – and the costume designer whose mind dreamt of it in the first place – let me assure you I shall find the boot. But where to begin? Somebody's got to know something.
Choose Pinkie Pie! ending[]
Rarity: What do you say, Miss Pie – if that's your real name?
Pinkie Pie: I can't take it anymore! It was me! I did it! I'm the one! [crying]
Rarity: Pinkie, it couldn't have been you.
Pinkie Pie: Huh? It couldn't have?
Rarity: You were nowhere near the auditorium when it went missing.
Pinkie Pie: I wasn't?
Rarity: You were at the frozen yogurt shop.
Pinkie Pie: I was?
Rarity: You literally still have frozen yogurt in your hand.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm. Yeah. You were just so upset, I thought confessing would make you feel better.
Rarity: [narrating] I could tell that dame had a sweet tooth for trouble. [speaking] There's still something you're not telling me. You saw something!
Pinkie Pie: Like, at the frozen yogurt shop, I took more than one free sample, and then I put the used sample spoons in the wrong cup.
Rarity: Slow down.
Pinkie Pie: And then someone took my spoon.
Rarity: This is bigger than spoons!
Pinkie Pie: And I watched them, Rarity!
Rarity: P-P-Pinkie—
Pinkie Pie: I watched them eat my yogurt germs!
Rarity: Pinkie Pie, please! Have you or have you not seen my boot?!
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh! You mean that one under the pile of bell-bottoms?
Rarity: [gasps] You solved the mystery!
Pinkie Pie: But I have so much more to confess.
Rarity: [slurps, narrating] Solving a case never tasted so good.
Choose Trixie! ending[]
Rarity: [narrating] The moment she strutted into my office, I already knew she was guilty. Only guilty people strut like that. That's a guilty person strut.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] The moment I strutted into her office, I knew I could outsmart this buffoon.
Rarity: [narrating] The dame wasn't talking, and that was fine. I can not talk, too. I can not talk for hours. I'm not even talking right now.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Heh. Me neither.
Rarity: [narrating] Looks like Trixie picked up a racket and decided to play.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Little does she know two can play this game.
[clock ticking]
Rarity: [narrating] Oh, she's good. But I had a little special something prepared.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Makeup? We could be here...
Rarity: [narrating] ...for hours.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] You win this round, Rarity, but the match ain't over yet. The Great and Powerful Trixie always prevail—
[crunch]
Trixie Lulamoon: Ow! You better clean up these rocks. Someone could get hurt. Not me, but you know, something.
Rarity: Spike?!
Spike: Sorry. I wanted to see what it's like to be a dancer.
Rarity: You want to dance in the play? Aw, we'll find a spot for you, Spike, but next time you borrow a boot, ask first. [narrating] Case closed.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Trixie, amazing.
Spike: [narrating] How come nobody's talking out loud?
Choose Applejack! ending[]
Applejack: Well, last time I saw them together was, uh, when I was buildin' the mine shaft set over by the costume rack.
Rarity: [narrating] Detectives trust their instincts, and mine were telling me to check the costume rack.
Rarity and Applejack: Maud?!
[thunder crashing]
Rarity: Of all the people, Maud?! Honestly, I never pegged you for a crook! Who put you up to it? What do you got against my big debut? Why aren't you answering me? Why? Why?! Why?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Huh. You might have thought this one is rose quartz, but it's actually amethyst.
Applejack: Uh, nobody thought that.
Rarity: They're just rhinestones, darling.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Made of amethyst. The world's largest amethyst geode weighs two and a half tons.
Rarity: A t-t-two-and-a-half-ton bedazzling gem?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Are you imagining yourself hugging it?
Rarity: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I am.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Me, too.
Rarity: Glimmering, gleaming, glitzing geodes... all for me! [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh. Nice.
All the World's Off Stage[]
Sunset Shimmer: Go! Go! And go!
[disco music]
Sunset Shimmer: Ten seconds to set change. Stage crew ready?
Snips and Snails: [grunting] Uh-huh.
Sunset Shimmer: In five, four, three... Pyro!
[fog machine]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
Snips and Snails: [grunting]
[scenery creaking, music warps down]
Snips and Snails: [grunting]
[thud]
[crowd aw's and talks]
Sunset Shimmer: [blows] Guys, the effect is ruined if we don't get the set across the stage in time with the dancers.
Snips: Ugh! But it's like moving a ton of bricks that's been built like... like a city!
Sunset Shimmer: There's gotta be a better way to move this thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Sunset. I've got an idea!
Micro Chips: Surely, brains, not brawns, are the secret formula for backstage success.
Choose Twilight Sparkle! ending[]
Sunset Shimmer: Thanks, Twilight. Your geode powers will make moving this set a cinch. Ready? Magic, go!
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight— Aah!
[robotic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: This is the perfect chance to test my Robotics Club project.
Sunset Shimmer: I would've gone with super amazing, perfect-for-this-specific-problem Equestrian magic, but okay.
Snips: Oh, great! There go the robots taking all our high-paying jobs again!
Snails: Yeah! Wait. We're getting paid for this?
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh!
[robotic noises]
[disco music]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
[clanking and whirring]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, your robot's amazing! Let's do this one more time from the top.
Twilight Sparkle: Ready when you are!
Choose Pinkie Pie! ending[]
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie, what are these?
Pinkie Pie: Party balloons!
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure we have time for balloons.
Pinkie Pie: You will make time, Sunset! I mean, there's always time for balloons. Ha ha!
Snails: [shudders, stiltedly] I love balloons. They're not scary at all.
Snips: Little balls of joy!
[creaking, pop!]
Snips: Aah! Traitor!
Snails: I told you!
Pinkie Pie: Actually, they're the set.
Sunset Shimmer: You mean they're for the set.
Pinkie Pie: Nope.
Sunset Shimmer: I feel like you're gonna have to explain this.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Nope.
Sunset Shimmer: Bring in Shiny City!
[disco music]
[zip! zip! zip!]
[air rushing]
Pinkie Pie: See? Balloons can do anything.
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs]
Choose Micro Chips! ending[]
Micro Chips: While simple machines do provide a mechanical advantage, by multiplying force against a single load — i.e., the set — I'm afraid the net loss of force due to friction in the opposite vector has not been overcome.
Sunset Shimmer: No kidding.
Snips: Pfft. Your face is an opposite vector.
Micro Chips: "Your face" is nothing more than a genetically predetermined arrangement of stratified squamous epithelial cells.
[squeak! squeak!]
Snails: Oh, snap, Snips! Burn! I think.
Snips: Harsh.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure you'll be able to move that giant heavy set on your own.
Micro Chips: I won't be moving anything. This muscle is gonna convince those muscles to move it on their own.
Sunset Shimmer: Bulk Biceps? But I already asked him for help. He's too busy working out for his part in the play: Lump of Coal.
Bulk Biceps: This Lump of Coal is gonna be cut like a diamond! [grunting]
Sunset Shimmer: How'd you convince him to stop and help?
Micro Chips: Isn't it obvious? I fabricated a counterfactual peer review to pseudo-scientific study in Insane Lats magazine that postulates the only way to make your shirt uncomfortably tight for the summer is battle ropes.
Bulk Biceps: I battled the ropes, and I won!
Sunset Shimmer: You are a genius.
Constructive Criticism[]
[handiwork noies]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, I'm so glad we picked you to be the set designer, Applejack.
Applejack: I'm the only one who applied, so...
Sunset Shimmer: And the plans look fantastic. Just one thing. One little, kinda huge, important thing. Is this gonna be built in time?
Applejack: Absolutely! Construction's the quick part. Like I always say: "Measure twice, cut once. But only after you measure three more times." [resumes hammering]
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting] Glad that's not my job! I'd be afraid I'd hammer my finger or something!
Applejack: What?
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting louder] I said I'd be afraid I'd hammer my finger or something!
Applejack: What?!
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting even louder] I said—
[thuds]
Applejack: Waaah!
Nurse Redheart: You're going to be fine.
Applejack: Whew!
Nurse Redheart: Just stay away from lifting, hammering, cutting, anything set-building related.
Applejack: But the play's this Friday! Don't worry, Sunset. I still got thi— Ow!
Sunset Shimmer: How about we get you an assistant set designer?
Applejack: I guess I could use a hand.
Choose Rainbow Dash! ending[]
Applejack: Thanks a bushel for helpin' me build the set, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: You got it, AJ! This is gonna be done before you can say, "Take a look at this blueprint!"
[whooshing]
[whirring]
Applejack: Well, actually, Rainbow Dash, you really should take a look at this blueprint.
Rainbow Dash: Already did. Got it up here.
[whirring]
Applejack: Slow down!
Rainbow Dash: No time!
[zip!]
[whirring!]
Applejack: But ya need to measure more and cut less! You're not measurin' enough!
[whooshing]
Applejack: Stoooop!
Rainbow Dash: What's up? I'm done, by the way.
[music]
Applejack: Hmm. This doesn't look like the blueprints. It's... even better!
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Heh. I guess I was looking at the green prints. Is that what these are? Sorry.
Applejack: That ain't a green print. That's... That's my vision board on green paper.
Rainbow Dash: Say what now?
Applejack: Green is my power color. I sketched out all the stuff I wish I could build but knew I'd never have time, and you've just built it all.
Rainbow Dash: Only because I followed your amazing ideas.
Applejack: Where'd you find this?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. I ran to your house while I was building. Your room is a mess, by the way. And your diary was unlocked. I didn't read it.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Okay, I read it.
Choose Pinkie Pie! ending[]
Applejack: Are you sure you have time to help, Pinkie Pie? Don't you need to practice your drum solo?
Pinkie Pie: I am gonna practice my drum solo, silly. A-one, two, three, four!
[drumming]
Applejack: So you can't help me?
Pinkie Pie: I can't hear you! I'm busy helping!
[zip!]
[rhythmic hammering]
[rhythmic handiwork]
Applejack: Pinkie! Drum over here!
Pinkie Pie: Okay!
Applejack: And over here!
Pinkie Pie: You got it!
[rhythmic drumming, hammering continues]
[deep thud]
Pinkie Pie: Thank you, Canterlot High School! What'd ya think?
[drum roll]
Applejack: I'll be honest. I think you drummed up one heck of a set, Pinkie Pie.
[rimshot]
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laugh]
Choose Photo Finish! ending[]
Applejack: So what we got here is a basic disco layout with a light-up dance floor and recessed cans to backlight the performance.
Photo Finish: B-b-buh! Mouth closed please.
Applejack: [muffled] But how am I supposed to tell ya what to do?
Photo Finish: Vit' your heart, Applejek! Open it and let Photo Finish feel where ze light needs to be, und zen ze set vill be built vere ze lights are not! [snaps fingers]
[uptempo music plays]
Applejack: Soooooooooooooo... what do I do?
Photo Finish: You're already doing it.
[music continues]
Photo Finish: Yes! Can't you feel it?!
Applejack: Feel what?
Photo Finish: Da passions!
[ding!]
Photo Finish: Shh! It iz time!
Applejack: What? [stutters] This doesn't look anything like it's supposed to.
Photo Finish: You are looking vit' your eyes! Look vit' your heart!
Applejack: You're makin' less sense than a jackrabbit on roller skates.
Photo Finish: Behold!
[electricity humming]
Applejack: Whoa. Thank you so much.
[flash!]
Photo Finish: Zat look! Zat is vhy I do zis! [snaps] I go!
[zip!]
Opening Night[]
[indistinct conversations]
[conversations stop]
Rarity: [American accent] Ma, Pa, I have got to leave this humdrum, do-nothin', lump-of-coal town. I'm goin' to be the best disco dancer that Club Amethyst has ever seen!
Twilight Sparkle: [old lady voice] Bury those silly dreams in a slag heap, Selfie. Only fools try to make it big in Shiny City.
Rarity: How will I ever become a disco dancer when all I know is coal, coal, [crying] coal?!
[door opens]
[creaking]
"Curly Winds": [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: [stiltedly] Your canary tears have summoned me, my child. It is I, your Fairy Bootmother.
[audience oohs]
Rainbow Dash: [stiltedly] Do not despair, for all coal turns to diamonds.
[music]
Rarity: [squeals]
[cheering and applause]
[disco music]
[zip!]
Snips: Hey!
Applejack: How's Coal Miner #2 doin'?
Fluttershy: Thinking of calling in sick?
Applejack: Don't be nervous. It's only one line. All you have to do is ring that bell and say, "The mine is closed."
Fluttershy: [quietly] "The mine is closed."
Applejack: Yeah, that, but... maybe a little louder?
[applause]
Applejack: Ha! Go get 'em!
[electricity humming]
Fluttershy: [breathes deeply]
Snips: Nuh-uh!
Snails: Hey!
Snips: [grunts]
[rope creaking]
[clangs]
[audience gasps]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh!
Applejack: Fluttershy needs our help!
Choose Applejack! ending[]
Applejack: [to Snips and Snails] Quick! I need a costume!
Snails: Uh, we only have one.
Applejack: [facepalms, groans]
Applejack: Ooh, pardon me. Talkin' apple tree comin' through. Oh, hello, coal mine. Just me, the magical talkin' apple tree. R-Remember, Fairy Bootmother? You enchanted me?
[creaks]
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Y-Yeah. I certainly enchanted you. Heh. That.
[creaks]
Applejack: [grunts] Well. Would ya look at that? The bell's back where it needs to be. Someone should really ring it. Just flutter on over. Don't be shy.
[bell clanging]
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]
Choose Twilight Sparkle! ending[]
[screech! whiffle, whiffle, whiffle]
[music]
[sparkle!]
[clink! whirr!]
[whoosh!]
[music]
[sparkle!]
[magic noises]
[bell clanging]
[audience murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Just usin' my magic here! Classic Bootmother.
[audience ohhh's]
[clangs]
Fluttershy: Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry. Sorry!
[bell clanging]
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]
Choose Sunset Shimmer! ending[]
[zip!]
[creaks]
Sunset Shimmer: [awkwardly] Oh, Coal Miner #2, it is I, the assistant director, um, of the play of life!
Fluttershy: [gasps, whispering] This isn't in the script!
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] Follow my lead. [out loud] You're a genius. You crashed this bell on purpose. For this bell is a metaphor, is it not?
Fluttershy: It is?
Sunset Shimmer: [dramatically] Whether it's our family's expectations to work in the coal mine or if it's a fear of the spotlight, we all need to let go of what's holding us back. The pressures of life turn all into diamonds!
[audience aww's]
Sunset Shimmer: Come on, everybody! Join in! Ding-dong, ding-dong...
Everyone: Ding-dong...
Snips and Snails: Dong-ding...
Everyone: Ding-dong, ding-dong...
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] You got this.
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]
Snips: [sniffs] Do you believe in me, buddy?
Snails: I do!
Snips and Snails: [sobbing]
Happily Ever After Party[]
[cheers and applause]
Applejack: Hoo-wee! What's the lowdown on the after-party hoedown? I'm ready to throw down!
Rainbow Dash: Is it gonna be the best night ever or what?!
Sweetie Belle: We were. We even put together a super special slide show of all the great memories we made while doing the play.
Scootaloo: But Mr. Cranky Doodle says parties are not an "appropriate appropriation of his expensive projector".
Rainbow Dash: Maybe one of us can turn that heart of coal into a diamond!
Choose Applejack! ending[]
Applejack: If he's gonna be stubborn about it, so can we.
[door opens]
Applejack: Hey there, Mr. Cranky Doodle. I heard ya won't let us borrow your projector for our party.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ya heard right.
Apple Bloom: Ooh, she's gonna have a good old-fashioned stubborn-off!
Scootaloo: [gasps]
[whoosh!]
Applejack: I'm askin' nice.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: The answer's no.
Applejack: Not leavin' without it.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You're gonna be here awhile.
Applejack: Fine by me.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Talking overnight.
Applejack: Got a sleepin' bag.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Floor's not comfortable.
Applejack: Air mattress, too.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You'll hyperventilate.
Applejack: Got an air pump.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Won't let you plug it in.
Applejack: Foot-powered.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You'll get a cramp.
Applejack: Eat bananas for potassium.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: They're... not... in... season!
Applejack: You're right. I can admit when I'm beat.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ha!
[indistinct conversations]
[mid-tempo music plays]
Rainbow Dash: Great party, you guys! Yeah, good times.
[amazed reactions]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Hey!
[dramatic music]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Thanks for finding my flashlight.
[click, click]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: I've missed this.
[door closes]
Cutie Mark Crusaders, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Choose Rarity! ending[]
Rarity: Don't worry, girls. In the fashion industry, there is no room for compromise, and I happen to be an excellent negotiator.
[door opens]
Rarity: Good evening, Mr. Cranky Doodle.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Oh, hello, Rarity.
["Law & Order"-esque music]
Rarity: I am here representing the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I understand you are denying them the use of a projector.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Yes. My projector.
Rarity: Uh, let the record show that Mr. Cranky Doodle has identified the projector in question. So, if I am understanding you correctly, this is your projector.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Yes.
Rarity: And you take it home with you when the school day ends.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Well, no, I can't do that. I—
Rarity: Mm. That's right. You can't do that, can you? In fact, this projector cannot leave the school premises because it isn't your projector at all. It is the property of Canterlot High School...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Rarity: ...a public school funded by hardworking taxpayers such as Applejack and myself! So, technically, is this not the taxpayers' projector? My projector? Applejack's projector?!
["Law & Order"-esque music builds to a climax]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Uh...
Rarity: Therefore, did you not lie under oath when you identified it as your own?
Mr. Cranky Doodle: I didn't take an oath. You're out of order!
Rarity: This whole projector situation is out of order! I'm confiscating this as evidence.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Wait! It's expensive, and it could be damaged if not cared for properly. Also, I pay taxes, too!
Rarity: You think you'd feel more comfortable if someone were there to supervise it?
[indistinct conversations]
Sweetie Belle: We did it!
[high fives]
Rarity: Oh, delighted we could reach a settlement. In exchange for the projector, he could attend the party to supervise said projector.
[rhythmic clapping]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]
Choose Rainbow Dash! ending[]
[marker squeaking]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Wrong. Wrong. Right, but...
[door opens]
Scootaloo: Mr. Cranky Doodle, come quick! There's a full-blown math emergency backstage!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: A "math-mergency"?!
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Drops is fixin' to take the square root of negative one!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: It's worse than ℹ︎ could've imagined! I say "ℹ︎" and "imagine" because...
[door creaks]
[spy music playing]
[whiffle!]
[drawer opening]
[creak!]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[whoosh!]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: I'm just gonna borrow this.
[indistinct conversations]
[mid-tempo music plays]
[projector clicking]
[conversations continue]
Rarity: Ah! Looks like they threw a splendid party after all.
Rainbow Dash: They just needed a little coaching.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah.
Rarity: Where are those girls, anyway?
[conversations continue]
Scootaloo: Uh, we gotta get back to—
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ah-ah-ah! Here's where the problem really shifts into high gear. Take that solution and plug it into this function, and the square root and the sum of the second prime number divided... [trails off]
