Talk:John Holahan/GA1

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Nominator: BeanieFan11 (talk · contribs) 01:59, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: WikiOriginal-9 (talk · contribs) 14:04, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

• Added cats.
• Refs aren't supposed to be in the lead. What is that ref for anyway? Suggest moving it down to the birth and death dates if that's what it is citing. Also, is his middle initial in that reference? If so, the first sentence of early life should say "John D. Holahan was born" See other articles like Babe Ruth for an example.
  • I think it was for the middle initial. Followed your suggestion.
• "As a senior at Duquesne, Holahan became the athletic program's business manager.[4] He remained with the team after his graduation in the position of graduate manager" If he was only business manager for one year, shouldn't that be noted in the infobox?
  • That source says he became the 'graduate manager' after a year as business manager, but future sources (e.g. this from 1939 referred to him as 'business manager') – I changed the infobox to just 'manager' – does that work?
• "In 1929, the team was struggling" Does that mean financially? How would playing Geneva at night help them?
  • Financially sounds accurate. (The source was saying that they were unable to draw much attendance – the night game was popular and drew a large attendance).
• "losing to the Philadelphia Eagles in what determined the team to play in the 1947 NFL Championship Game" to "losing to the Philadelphia Eagles in a game that determined which team would play in the 1947 NFL Championship Game
  • Changed.
• Expand the lead a little?
  • Added a little.

That's all. Not much else to say here. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 14:04, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• @WikiOriginal-9: BeanieFan11 (talk) 22:25, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  That looks good now. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 22:32, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]