Luckiest girl alive : a novel

Spoilers. When I first read this, I delighted in the vivid descriptions of wealthy lifestyles and the fact that the heroine said whatever was on her mind. I was so, so excited to read about someone short and fat, like me. Almost my exact height (I'm an inch shorter) and weight (I was twenty pounds overweight in high school and gained it back a few years ago). As the book progressed, my feelings were mixed. I was glad to return it to the library. Now, I wanted to read it again to learn if my opinions had changed. They had. Neither the dust jacket nor the library of congress inside page explains that there's rape in this book, let alone three times. I am deeply unhappy with such deliberate, malicious omission.

Everyone in this book is an show more asshole, except maybe Nell. This is nothing but 300+ pages of victim-blaming, sexism, homophobia, racism, being super judgmental of people who aren't 1%, and massive, massive fat-shaming. The narrator is a deeply bitter woman who fulfills terrible stereotypes about fat women. She's a gold digger who clearly hates her life and other rich people, yet claims to love it and her old-money fiance. She has always hated her mother and owns up to this, though. Her dad is in the book so rarely that he should have just been cut. She refers to herself using racist and sexist terms. Why on earth is she kinky and over-sexualized as an adult? What was the author hoping to--oh, the "only damaged people are into being hit really hard during sex."

On second read, this honestly seems like a disjointed revenge fantasy on the part of the author. Horrible trauma as a teen, fiance is a jerk about it. But she reunites with a hot teacher who flirts with her and kisses her, despite the author insisting he's happily married. In the final chapter, it's revealed that her stereotypically gay (but he's maaaasively fat so it's okaaay) shoots nine people, three of them her rapists and the rest of them popular girls who ostracized her for being raped three times. The narrator had brief but violent fantasies about it before and after the actual shooting, so. Aaaand she stabs her friend, the active shooter, to death so she can be the fucking hero. And she's short and fat but considered hot? I just--what. When I first read this, I must have been starved for that narrative. It's unrealistic. Now, though, I learned that people have been calling me fat my whole adult life. I thought "petite" was a clothing size, but no, fat. Okay. (sighs) I fully admit to grabbing a tape measure I got as a strange gift, and measured my hips because the author would not shut up about hip size, leg muscles and clothing size and blah blah blah. Um, the tape measure didn't uh, get it all. I would never, ever fit into her tiny little judgmental world due to my bone structure. Worst of all, I got really worried that all rich people are like this. I was invited to be part of a wedding next year. When I finally finished this trash of a novel, I was super close to calling in the middle of the night to say that I wasn't gonna be in it but would watch from the audience...because the narrator was so mean to people like me. Every part of me, she attacked. I didn't make the call and reminded myself to wait until next year, if I really don't want to be in the wedding. So, this book really upset and enraged me. At least I know my opinion radically changed. I was the absolute opposite target audience for this book, and it's sooo cool to be reminded that people are judging me for my genetics and grinding poverty. It struck a nerve or few. show less

"I was so appalled by Ani’s hyper-surveillance of other women and her intrinsic, knee-jerk hatred of them, that I looked up the author’s Instagram and Twitter and found her voice sometimes almost disturbingly Ani-like. Of course, it’s a particular effective form of affective writing common in beauty magazines that use the chatty yet judgmental mode of friendly vigilance (from one girly gal to another!) to sell the many, many products advertised in practically every page, except in Ani's case the pretense is removed and it is pure self-hating and misogynist surveillance. Knoll used to write for women’s magazines; Ani, too, works for a women’s magazine. Her beauty industry-fortified gaze, when it lands on other women, is show more ruthless and cruel. Teenage Ani already showed mastery of this gaze in order to best her more languid upper-class contemporaries, secure as they were in their class position made up of inherited wealth, but at least teenage Ani seemed to recognise that a shiny exterior was not the whole. Older Ani had come to fully immerse herself in the spectacle and call it being shrewd, street-smart, and resourceful."

An excerpt from my extended rant here. show less

Ani seems to have it all, a successful career as a writer on a magazine and an envious lifestyle in New York, mainly funded by her Wall Street, blue-blood fiancee. However as Ani starts to narrate it is clear that she has secrets that she has tried to move away from. Ani is about to get married and is suffering the standard pressures of weight loss and anxiety, she is also concerned about the filming of a documentary about the events that happened at her school during her teenage years. As Ani narrates she reveals how a bright girl with an ambitious mother joined a prestigious school on scholarship and the horrible events that happened in her first year that have scarred her to date.

The first few pages of this book had me concerned - show more it's very 'chick-lit'. A bitchy but talented heroine is planning her wedding and it's all designer this and diet that. However once the story of TifAni FaNelli begins to be revealed I became gripped. Pulling together lots of different topical issues around the behaviour of teenagers, a portrait of privilege, mental illness and violence emerges. This book has been described the next 'Gone Girl' - well just about every novel with a first person female narrator and a twist in the plot is so described - this is something different but equally original. I didn't think I'd like it but I could barely put it down. show less

This book received several poor reviews from readers so I braced myself as I started it. I actually really enjoyed the story and the main character. It has nothing in common with Gone Girl except a manipulative and deceitful main character whom the reader is prepared to dislike. As I read it though, I realized her potentially unlikable qualities are a mask to cover pain from earlier severe trauma during her teen years. Although there's a grizzly event toward the end it isn't quite like the thrillers I usually read. Instead the real suspense was if and how Ani would finally face and resolve the events of her past so she could accept herself as she is. Oh, and surprisingly, I found many parts of this book very humorous.

I read this book because Maclean’s described it as “smart, sexy, and sharp . . . with more than a bit of heart and hope to it.” I found, however, that it had little of these qualities.

TifAni FaNelli is a very status-conscious writer for a glossy women’s magazine. Not yet 30, she seems to have everything, including a privileged lifestyle with a rich, trophy husband-to-be. Beneath the surface, however, is a person damaged by events when she was a freshman in an elite private high school. A documentary being filmed brings what happened to her to the forefront.

The narrative alternates between past and present. Ani’s life in the present is interspersed with flashbacks to her past, and gradually the reader learns what made her the show more person she is.

And she is not a likeable person. She is so superficial, judging everyone based on appearance: are they wearing the appropriate designer clothes and do they have a sufficiently thin body? She is judgmental and hypocritical: she has clawed her way up the social ladder but she sneers at her mother’s attempts to do the same. As the truth of what happened to her is revealed, the reader is to have more sympathy for her and to realize that her personality is a façade she has “meticulously crafted” in order to survive. Perhaps I am as cold-hearted as Ani, but I just didn’t find myself empathizing as much as the author probably hoped readers would.

TifAni was gullible and shallow as a teenager, and she hasn’t matured. What happened to her was certainly traumatic, but she has learned little. She has had over a decade to reflect on what happened and why, yet she has realized nothing? In the end, she makes some decisions which are supposed to indicate a positive change, but I found myself unconvinced. For a character change to be convincing, the character must be capable of change. Ani’s attitude and behaviour are so entrenched that she seems incapable of change.

The author creates suspense by hiding what happened to TifAni. This works to a certain extent. The problem is that once the reader learns what happened – well before the end of the book – interest lags.

This is another of those books, like The Girl on the Train, which makes for a nice light read on summer vacation but does not stand up well when examined critically. show less

You have to hate the main character in this novel from the very start. There were moments that I felt sorry for Ani, and eventually you come to learn why she is the way she is, but having finished I still can't say that I liked her. In fact, I loved to hate her, which means that Knoll did her job. The reader truly believes they understand the story and what's going on until a left hook about 3/4 the way through. This left hook is what made me rate this book 5 stars. Amazing and unable to predict, lovers of Gillian Flynn and Laura McHugh will throughly enjoy this book.