Barnabas Piper

Let me just start by saying this is a great topic for a book on Christian life. I wish it had be written when I was in my late-teens / early twenties and going through a kind of non-Amish rumspringa, full of questions and doubts and plain stupidity (me, not the book). But this isn’t a book just for young adults or new believers. Help My Unbelief by Barnabas Piper is a book for every Christian. The book deals with the expression of the desperate man in Mark 9 who wants Jesus to cast a demon show more out of his son. “I believe. Help my unbelief.” Piper writes, “These juxtaposed phrases represent the reality of every follower of Jesus no matter how mature, new, stumbling, or strong. We believe. And we don’t. We follow. We fall. We are weak, and we need help.” The reality is there’s a constant tension between our faith and our sinful nature. Piper writes, “Our faith is one of brutal tensions.” And sometimes we have questions. We have doubts. Yet, so many Christians brush over the tension or don’t discuss it at all. What does it mean to be a Christian and have questions? What does it mean to have faith, but to wrestle with doubt sometimes? How should we handle that? This book helps answer these questions about having questions.

Piper had a “crisis of faith” in his mid-twenties. Growing up the son of pastor John Piper, Barnabas had the head knowledge of Christianity down. He grew up in church. He had all the right answers at youth group. He had a theology degree from a respected Christian college, but he hadn’t completely surrendered to Christ. Piper writes, “Transformation was what was missing from my belief.” Through the process of coming to faith—to having his heart transformed by the grace of Christ to live for Him and through Him—Piper wrestled with these notions of true belief and asking questions and doubting.

Help My Unbelief explains what belief and faith mean and how questions and doubts should work in the Christian life in a very clear, concise style. Piper’s writing feels like sitting down and having an honest discussion. He doesn’t shy away from the tough topics or questions. He admits there are questions that we aren’t going to get answered. He writes, “This should tell us something about God and about belief. God is infinite, beyond our understanding, and He chose to reveal Himself to us in a way that sparks questions rather than settles all of them… He didn’t want us to be able to understand Him so well that we could package Him, wrap Him up, and put a bow on Him… If we could store God in a box, what about Him would be worthy of worship?… He wanted us to search, to wrestle, to wonder, to be mystified. He wanted us to ask.”

And Piper doesn’t just leave us with ideas. He seems to genuinely want to help people grow in their faith and walk through these struggles. He gives very practical suggestions. He discusses how to ask well and how to differentiate between unbelieving and believing doubt. He even gives a guide to “reading the Bible to meet God” in the appendix, but this isn’t the type of book or topic that gives us a bulleted list of steps we can do, check off, and be on our way. There is no quick fix here. Piper writes, “If this seems like a bunch of theoretical, high-minded stuff, then think of it in this context: your life is an ‘already, but not yet’ life. You are saved, but you are not perfectly holy. You trust Jesus, but you do not follow Him perfectly… You are in a relationship with God, but you wander and seek other gods… You believe, but you battle unbelief. ‘I believe; help my unbelief’ should be the daily cry of every Christian.” The Christian life is a daily process of surrendering to God and dying to self, and as Piper states, we live in the “not yet,” but we have Christ’s promise that we will arrive and be with Him one day. That should motivate us, even as we question and seek to know God more.

There’s a lot packed into this relatively short book. I would recommend it to anyone, but especially to those struggling with questions and doubts about faith. Also, any book that includes an additional reading list in the back earns a special mention for me. If you haven’t listened to the Happy Rant podcast with Barnabas Piper, Stephen Altrogge, and Ted Cluck, you should check that out as well. It’s fun. You can read more from Barnabas Piper at barnabaspiper.com. show less

I bought copies of The Pastor's Kid for my two oldest children a few months ago. I also got a copy for myself, which sat unread until just a few weeks back. I'm glad I picked it up.

Barnabas Piper does a terrific job of transporting the reader into the world of the pastor's kid. As the son of famed pastor John Piper, Barnabas has a unique perspective. His writing, however, is not wholly autobiographical. He interviewed many PKs along the way, gathering perspective from them on the trappings show more of growing up in a ministry family.

As a pastor, parts of this book were heartbreaking to read. I saw my own failures in black and white. Raising kids in a fishbowl isn't easy. The church imbibes a culture that makes the rearing of PKs almost impossible. "The cultural expectations on pastors are mostly unbiblical, entirely impractical, and generally downright stupid" (98). For Piper, pastors are bound to fail in parental obligations; the key is how they will respond. He says the only healthy response is grace. "For many PKs, there is a serious disconnect between what they see from their own dad and what he says about Jesus. Jesus is loving, gracious, forgiving, and sacrificial. Dad is none of those things. Jesus accepts you as you are. Dad demands more. Jesus forgives sins. Dad harps on them. Jesus makes us white as snow. Dad finds every stain. Jesus loves children and is joyful. Dad holes up in his office and keeps a stern countenance" (77-78). The key, Piper says, is "grace. That is what the PK needs to see, to know more than anything" (78).

One of the most helpful sections of the book was his discussion about how to put grace into action. The practical advice included leaving sermons in the pulpit, conversing instead of counseling, and finding a hobby. He also offers advice on how a church can aid in creating a culture that is friendly to PKs. This section alone makes this a worthy book for deacons and lay elders.

The final chapter of the book expresses a hopefulness about the future of PKs. After the gut-punches of previous chapters, I needed this. I saw rays of hope shine through on my children. Their experience in a ministry household is unique. That setting is a preparation ground for great things in their future. Barnabas Piper sees this truth; I hope they will too. show less

As a former pastor’s kid (and assistant pastor’s kid, and later a missionary’s kid), this book intrigued me. As a former member of John Piper’s church, this book had special relevance for me. The author is Barnabus Piper, one of Pastor John’s sons. As a Christian who is recovering from legalism, this book was especially helpful for me.

In "The Pastor’s Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity" (David C. Cook, 2014), Barnabus opens up about the struggles of growing up in a fish show more bowl. The author do As a former pastor’s kid (and assistant pastor’s kid, and later a missionary’s kid), this book intrigued me. As a former member of John Piper’s church, this book had special relevance for me. The author is Barnabus Piper, one of Pastor John’s sons. As a Christian who is recovering from legalism, this book was especially helpful for me.

In "The Pastor’s Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity" (David C. Cook, 2014), Barnabus opens up about the struggles of growing up in a fish bowl. The author doesn’t claim to be a guru, but he is a pastor’s kid who struggled and erred, but also grew and matured and looks back on his time as a pastor’s kid and feels the need to share his experience both for the benefit of pastors but especially for the help of fellow pastor’s kids who may not have turned out as well as he. There are a lot of pastor’s kids, and some of them have jettisoned their parents’ faith and are jarred by the experience. Other’s may not yet have come to grips with why they struggle so much in particular ways.

This book explores the unique challenges of pastor’s kids and yet doesn’t burn the parents and blame them for all the problems. Pastor John actually writes the foreword and while Barnabus spares no punches, one gets the sense that their relationship is in-tact and both respect the other.

This is part memoir, and part self-help. And it isn’t all Piper’s memoir, as he shares stories from countless pastor’s kids he interviewed in preparation for the book. Some of them are not in the faith anymore, and it does us good to wonder why. Barnabus’ prescription calls for grace and care for children, and a proper set of expectations. He also gives hope to those who have been burned, or are wondering what they can possibly due at this stage in the game.

I particularly appreciated his emphasis on legalism. This excerpt resonates well with me:

"Not everything is right or wrong, true or false, yes or no. The PK needs some maybes and sort ofs. If every question is answered in black and white and every decision judged as right or wrong, the PK never learns to make value decisions. In fact, he never learns values at all. He just learns to dance the morality two-step and avoid getting out of step with what’s ‘good’ or ‘true.’ If every question is given a concrete answer and no room is left for exploration or doubt, the PK is forced to either acquiesce or bury his doubts where they can fester and rot his faith." (p. 83)

I listened to the Christianaudio version of the book. This was extra special in that Barnabus Piper himself was the one reading his book. This made listening to the book more poignant as his passion for his book’s message was evident.

This book is well-written and preaches an important message. I don’t know of any other similar book that is designed to both help those who have been hurt, and equip those in the ministry now who are raising another generation of children. Cautions are raised and challenges issued, but grace and hope pervade the book. This is must reading for churches, pastors and of course, pastor’s kids.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Christianaudio. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review. show less

Against the post-modernistic moral morass in which we live, I approached Help My Unbelief with a hopeful optimism. What I found was, true to post-modern form, squishy.

Positively, I think Barnabas Piper addresses some important issues. He challenges the cultural christian notion of belief. "Mental assent is not belief. It is part of belief, but not the whole of belief" (47). He clearly confronts the antagonistic spirit in which so many approach Christianity with their endless philosophical show more questions. "Questions indicate belief only if you actually want an answer. Someone who asks without wanting to learn is not truly asking, but is challenging. Challenging is not believing, but undermining" (34). He argues passionately for mystery to be part of the vocabulary of the church; we don't have to have neat little, pre-packaged answers to everything - especially the truly difficult issues of life.

The part of Help My Unbelief that was difficult for me was Piper's use of the term "believing doubt." As the title of the book indicates, he frequently references Mark 9:20-27 where the a father is struggling with whether or not Jesus can heal his son. In desperation, he cries out, "Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief." Piper dubs this concept of "believing doubt" to express what we, like the man in Mark 9, go through in difficult times of faith.

Honestly, I whole-heartedly agree with much of what Piper offers in response to "believing doubt." He encourages those struggling to root their faith in the character of God, to recognize that they live in the already-but-not-yet state, and to embrace mystery. These are good and wise suggestions. Still, the phrase "believing doubt" is problematic for me. I think a better term would be "imperfect faith." Is is more appropriate for a follower of Jesus to say, "I have doubt, but that doubt isn't destroying me," or "I have faith, but faith has not yet been perfected." I think the latter suggestion is much better and more theologically accurate.

If you are looking for a resource to pass along to a skeptic, this probably isn't it. If, however, you are looking for a book to help you on your journey as a believer who is wrestling with some honest questions, pick up Help My Unbelief. I think you will find Barnabas Piper's transparency refreshing and his writing style very readable. show less