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Madeline's Reviews > The Night Strangers
The Night Strangers
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Imagine if someone set out to write a ghost story that was a combination of The Shining and The Haunting of Hill House, with some forgotten-in-ten-years current events tied in...and then the movies The Wicker Man and The Craft came along and vomited over everything. The result is Chris Bohjalian's The Night Strangers.
I can't even do a The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly-style review, because it's all bad. Instead, I will now present the follow list of reasons this book failed me, in ascending order from minor to major offenses.
-False advertising. All the publisher-provided descriptions of this book make a big deal about how this family moves into a ramshackle Victorian house (+5 horror movie points) that has a creepy basement (+10 horror movie points) with a mysterious door that has been bolted shut 39 times (+25 horror movie points), and the house is in an isolated small town with creepy locals (+10 horror movie points), no cell phone reception and frequent power outages (+20 horror movie points). Also the father is a former airline pilot who recently crashed his plane into a lake, killing 39 of the passengers (+30 horror movie points). So with all that in mind, I was expecting a good, cheap haunted house story with some melodramatic family issues thrown in, a la American Horror Story. That's what the book jacket promised me. But instead, I got a load of bullshit about the pilot's PTSD and the creepy locals. The goddamn house wasn't even haunted at all, but I guess it's not Bohjalian's fault that the publishers didn't understand his book, which is why this is a minor offense.
-The people who buy the house have ten-year-old twin girls named Hallie and Garnet. What, you wonder, could possess two otherwise-normal people to name a child Garnet? Let the narration explain: "Garnet because her newborn hair had been the deep red it was even now". For Christ's sake. First, garnets are dark, dark red, which is not a hair color that occurs in nature. Second, I get that you want to give your kid a name that references her hair color (which has a good chance of changing before she grows up) so people can make tired jokes about it for the rest of her life, but why Garnet? Was RUBY too mainstream? The point of all of this is that although I was supposed to be rooting for the parents, I immediately hated them because of the stupid name they gave their child.
-Bohjalian has no idea how children talk or think. Remember Danny Torrance in The Shining? He was obviously an intelligent and sensitive seven-year-old, but that doesn't mean he talked or thought like an adult. Hallie and Garnet (ugh), on the other hand, talk like forty-year-olds all the time. At one point Hallie says, "Do you hear them? ...You must!" WHAT. And the narration never bothers to explain why these girls talk like no ten-year-olds I've ever heard of. It was an easy fix: "Wow, those girls sure do love reading Dickens novels! No wonder they talk like that!" But no - we are expected to believe that these average children talk and think exactly like the adults. And by "think", I of course mean, "don't think at all", because...
-Logic doesn't even make an appearance in this story. The pilot has PTSD, which means he's haunted by three ghosts of the people he killed - two of which are a man and his little girl. The ghost dad wants the pilot to murder his two daughters so his kid can have ghost kids to play with (obviously), and the pilot goes from "I'd never hurt my daughters!" to "Welp, guess it's time to murder my kids!" in the space of a chapter and it made no sense. Similarly, there's a coven of herbalists/Shamans (no, seriously) in the town, and they want to sacrifice the twins for witchcraft (obviously). And no, that does not count as a spoiler because basically the second we meet any of the herbalists they're like, "We looooove your twiiiiins, they're so...special" and their mom is like, "My, our neighbors are friendly! I love how they keep bringing my ten-year-old daughters over to their houses to learn about plants without my supervision, and the way they gave my daughters and me new names! This can't possibly have sinister implications!" and it's like WAKE UP, WOMAN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Similarly, at the end of the book (view spoiler)
-Did I mention that the pilot has PTSD? Because Bohjalian would want me to mention that, judging by how goddamn insistent he is that we never, ever forget that the pilot crashed into a lake and killed a bunch of people. Until about 2/3 into the book, every single section told from the pilot's perspective is just a rehash of the same exact idea: "the plane crashed, people died, and I am sad about it." Nothing new is learned, aside from the fact that the ghosts want him to kill his daughters. It's just repeated over and over and over and over again, like Bohjalian is afraid we're going to forget about the crash. And this might be bearable, except for some reason all of the pilot's sections are narrated in second-person present, while the rest of the book is narrated in third-person past tense, and I cannot stress how annoying this was. It got to the point where I would cringe and consider skipping ahead every time one of the pilot's chapters began. "You pause in your work in the kitchen, replacing the paint roller in the tray and sitting back on your heels as you wonder: Where was He when Flight 1611 crashed?" *facedesk*
-The story is frequently ridiculous when it means to be scary. It has lines like "The child is losing blood fast and it's being wasted. Wasted! You're a New Englander, how can you abide that?" that I cannot imagine getting any reaction other than laughter. Towards the end, when everything is going off the rails and the cult is revealing their true crazy, the story becomes much more reminiscent of Hot Fuzz than The Shining. (honestly, towards the end, the herbalists might as well have started chanting "It's for the greater good!" "The greater good" and I would not have blinked an eye.
-The two main storylines have nothing in common with each other. So there's the pilot's PTSD-related ghosts, and the creepy herbalists. For almost the entire book, the two plots are kept completely separate, and at the end when they finally do intersect, it's in the most insignificant way possible. I think Bohjalian should have picked one story - either the PTSD or the plant cult - and committed to it wholeheartedly. Instead he tries to do both, and what results is a crazy mess of a book that fails at every opportunity: it fails at creating sympathetic characters, realistic and well-done prose, carefully crafted plot, and a scary atmosphere.
On the plus side, with all this evidence in mind, Bohjalian would make an excellent addition to the writers' team over at American Horror Story. He'd better hurry up and jump on that crazy train before it derails halfway through the second season.
(yes I am a little addicted to American Horror Story, why do you ask?)
I can't even do a The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly-style review, because it's all bad. Instead, I will now present the follow list of reasons this book failed me, in ascending order from minor to major offenses.
-False advertising. All the publisher-provided descriptions of this book make a big deal about how this family moves into a ramshackle Victorian house (+5 horror movie points) that has a creepy basement (+10 horror movie points) with a mysterious door that has been bolted shut 39 times (+25 horror movie points), and the house is in an isolated small town with creepy locals (+10 horror movie points), no cell phone reception and frequent power outages (+20 horror movie points). Also the father is a former airline pilot who recently crashed his plane into a lake, killing 39 of the passengers (+30 horror movie points). So with all that in mind, I was expecting a good, cheap haunted house story with some melodramatic family issues thrown in, a la American Horror Story. That's what the book jacket promised me. But instead, I got a load of bullshit about the pilot's PTSD and the creepy locals. The goddamn house wasn't even haunted at all, but I guess it's not Bohjalian's fault that the publishers didn't understand his book, which is why this is a minor offense.
-The people who buy the house have ten-year-old twin girls named Hallie and Garnet. What, you wonder, could possess two otherwise-normal people to name a child Garnet? Let the narration explain: "Garnet because her newborn hair had been the deep red it was even now". For Christ's sake. First, garnets are dark, dark red, which is not a hair color that occurs in nature. Second, I get that you want to give your kid a name that references her hair color (which has a good chance of changing before she grows up) so people can make tired jokes about it for the rest of her life, but why Garnet? Was RUBY too mainstream? The point of all of this is that although I was supposed to be rooting for the parents, I immediately hated them because of the stupid name they gave their child.
-Bohjalian has no idea how children talk or think. Remember Danny Torrance in The Shining? He was obviously an intelligent and sensitive seven-year-old, but that doesn't mean he talked or thought like an adult. Hallie and Garnet (ugh), on the other hand, talk like forty-year-olds all the time. At one point Hallie says, "Do you hear them? ...You must!" WHAT. And the narration never bothers to explain why these girls talk like no ten-year-olds I've ever heard of. It was an easy fix: "Wow, those girls sure do love reading Dickens novels! No wonder they talk like that!" But no - we are expected to believe that these average children talk and think exactly like the adults. And by "think", I of course mean, "don't think at all", because...
-Logic doesn't even make an appearance in this story. The pilot has PTSD, which means he's haunted by three ghosts of the people he killed - two of which are a man and his little girl. The ghost dad wants the pilot to murder his two daughters so his kid can have ghost kids to play with (obviously), and the pilot goes from "I'd never hurt my daughters!" to "Welp, guess it's time to murder my kids!" in the space of a chapter and it made no sense. Similarly, there's a coven of herbalists/Shamans (no, seriously) in the town, and they want to sacrifice the twins for witchcraft (obviously). And no, that does not count as a spoiler because basically the second we meet any of the herbalists they're like, "We looooove your twiiiiins, they're so...special" and their mom is like, "My, our neighbors are friendly! I love how they keep bringing my ten-year-old daughters over to their houses to learn about plants without my supervision, and the way they gave my daughters and me new names! This can't possibly have sinister implications!" and it's like WAKE UP, WOMAN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Similarly, at the end of the book (view spoiler)
-Did I mention that the pilot has PTSD? Because Bohjalian would want me to mention that, judging by how goddamn insistent he is that we never, ever forget that the pilot crashed into a lake and killed a bunch of people. Until about 2/3 into the book, every single section told from the pilot's perspective is just a rehash of the same exact idea: "the plane crashed, people died, and I am sad about it." Nothing new is learned, aside from the fact that the ghosts want him to kill his daughters. It's just repeated over and over and over and over again, like Bohjalian is afraid we're going to forget about the crash. And this might be bearable, except for some reason all of the pilot's sections are narrated in second-person present, while the rest of the book is narrated in third-person past tense, and I cannot stress how annoying this was. It got to the point where I would cringe and consider skipping ahead every time one of the pilot's chapters began. "You pause in your work in the kitchen, replacing the paint roller in the tray and sitting back on your heels as you wonder: Where was He when Flight 1611 crashed?" *facedesk*
-The story is frequently ridiculous when it means to be scary. It has lines like "The child is losing blood fast and it's being wasted. Wasted! You're a New Englander, how can you abide that?" that I cannot imagine getting any reaction other than laughter. Towards the end, when everything is going off the rails and the cult is revealing their true crazy, the story becomes much more reminiscent of Hot Fuzz than The Shining. (honestly, towards the end, the herbalists might as well have started chanting "It's for the greater good!" "The greater good" and I would not have blinked an eye.
-The two main storylines have nothing in common with each other. So there's the pilot's PTSD-related ghosts, and the creepy herbalists. For almost the entire book, the two plots are kept completely separate, and at the end when they finally do intersect, it's in the most insignificant way possible. I think Bohjalian should have picked one story - either the PTSD or the plant cult - and committed to it wholeheartedly. Instead he tries to do both, and what results is a crazy mess of a book that fails at every opportunity: it fails at creating sympathetic characters, realistic and well-done prose, carefully crafted plot, and a scary atmosphere.
On the plus side, with all this evidence in mind, Bohjalian would make an excellent addition to the writers' team over at American Horror Story. He'd better hurry up and jump on that crazy train before it derails halfway through the second season.
(yes I am a little addicted to American Horror Story, why do you ask?)
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Reading Progress
December 1, 2011
–
Started Reading
December 1, 2011
–
Finished Reading
December 8, 2011
– Shelved
December 8, 2011
–
39.15%
""A magician never reveals the secret behind an illusion. And notice I did not use the word trick." Gob Bluth? What are you doing here?"
page
148
December 9, 2011
–
59.52%
"A character is talking about cupcakes she decorated: "Sprinkles and jimmies and faces made out of M&Ms. Trust me, those bad boys were seriously tricked out." SIGH. Ok, Bohjalian, two things. First, sprinkles and jimmies are the same thing. Second, no one who uses the word "jimmies" also uses the phrase "tricked out." Didn't Urban Dictionary tell you that when you looked up the phrase?"
page
225
December 11, 2011
–
92.59%
"I just noticed that one of the blurbs on the book jacket says "Fans of Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye and The Robber Bride will find similar appeal here", proving that whoever wrote that has not read either of those books. I am going to find whoever wrote that review just so I can slap them in the face."
page
350
December 12, 2011
– Shelved as:
crap-tastic
December 12, 2011
– Shelved as:
ugh
Comments Showing 1-50 of 54 (54 new)
Second person present tense? Seriously, who uses that? XD Now I'm wondering if there were Choose Your Own Adventure sections to this book.Thank you for letting me know this book will not be as advertized. Because normally I would have gotten suckered into reading something like this without proper forewarning.
They really bring out the best in me, don't they?
Excellent. You certainly have tenacity when it comes to ripping a book and it's author apart like a hungry lion on Roman Show Day. You are an inspiration! And a true compass for staying away from books that seem to lure me in (despite the garbage inside). Thanks!
Brilliantly reviewed. One small thing - one daughter does not survive. Would have loved to read how the other traumatized twin actually becomes ONE of the plantpeople.
Yeah, I realized after I posted the review that I'd messed that up. But I don't care enough about this book to change it.And I agree, more about the surviving twin's indoctrination into the plant cult would have been really interesting, especially since she was originally more resistant to the idea of joining. (and, y'know, watched these people murder her sister)
Brava! EXACTLY how I felt.
Yep. Those kids talk NOTHING like my daughter, who is almost the same age. And the parents kept hanging out with the people they thought were smothering and weird toward their daughters? And eating baked goods labeled with their names!?! I thought the book was suspenseful, but got to the end and thought "did I miss something?"
Right?! And the fact that the people GAVE THE MOM AND THE DAUGHTERS NEW NAMES should have been a giant red flag. A red flag labeled, "You are being inducted into a cult. You clueless idiots."
You articulated most of my thoughts more eloquently than me! Great review of a mediocre book ;)
Thank you! Glad it wasn't just me. But, second person? Seriously?
I couldn't have said it better myself. You touched on everything I was frustrated on while reading this book. Great review!
I sorta feel like a dork, because I actually really liked this book, AND I sorta liked the name Garnet. But I had to comment to tell you that although I don't agree about this particular name or book, I am SO with you about character names being a weird make-or-break thing with me. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who is irrationally effected by this :) I refused to read Hunger Games for ages because the name Katniss Everdeen is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I forced myself to read the book and loved it, but that name still bugs the hell out of me. Fun review, anyway--I'm always so jealous of people who can write hilarious, scathing reviews, when I just don't have it in me.
This is why the premise is crazy: Who in this day and age moves somewhere without cell phone coverage? No one..makes no sense and makes it impossible to relate to the characters. Also, the ending was too standard Stepford Wives, Rosemary's Baby...I expected more
More to the point, is there even a location in the United States in this day and age that has a human population and poor cellphone coverage? The whole "we need help, but my phone doesn't work, oh no!" plot is such an overdone and outdated horror cliche.
I live in outhern california and certain phones don't work well at my grandma's house, my best friends house, and my boyfriend's parents' house.
All right, granted. But I still maintain that the "no cell phone reception" excuse is an overused and lazy plot device. There's a great bit in Buffy where some characters are running from a monster in in the school basement, and one of them is like, "wait, I have a cellphone, I'll call Buffy!" and we assume there'll be no reception, but then the phone works perfectly and she's like, "can you believe how great the service is down here?" THAT'S how you subvert a cliche.
Madeline wrote: "All right, granted. But I still maintain that the "no cell phone reception" excuse is an overused and lazy plot device. There's a great bit in Buffy where some characters are running from a monster..."I agree with you there.
Madeline wrote: "All right, granted. But I still maintain that the "no cell phone reception" excuse is an overused and lazy plot device..."In Vermont, where Bohjalian lives (as do I) and close to where he set the story, there are actually large rural areas with zero coverage. People are still debating building the cell towers, because they'd wreck the view, etc. So that part of the story I have no problem with.
Agree with most of your review, though. This book could have used a guy in a rubber suit. Also, the way Bohjalian writes kids in all his books drives me totally nuts ... I'm over 40 and they sound old to me! What American kid or even person my age calls a friend a "chum"?
According to the census data, the name Garnet(t) was popular for a couple decades either side of 1900 (highest popularity in the teens), and has almost completely dropped out of use since the 50s.
I like the name Garnet.But ya, everything else I pretty much agree. Good review!
"Until about 2/3 into the book, every single section told from the pilot's perspective is just a rehash of the same exact idea: "the plane crashed, people died, and I am sad about it." Nothing new is learned, aside from the fact that the ghosts want him to kill his daughters" yah.. this is sorta how PTSD rolls. its like a playback, that never ever stops... so i can understand that. the second person thing though, thats a nooooo no.. "xcept for some reason all of the pilot's sections are narrated in second-person present, "... maybe he was trying to integrate the way PTSD disrupts normal cognition, but this doesnt work in a novel. thanks for the heads up; deleted from my library cart
I've only read a couple of Bohjalian's books: Midwives and Double Bind. I thought the latter was very good. However, this one was hugely disappointing for the reasons you so brilliantly point out. Main problem: almost totally unbelievable. Also, the ending: I nearly threw the book across the room. I think it's the first time a book made me so angry. The whole thing became less believable and then to have it end the way it did. Very disappointing.
i intend on seeing how midwives is.. checked out review of double blind on amazon and went with midwives.
Great Revue. I totally agree.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the writing of the kids was crap. When he repeatedly beat it into our brains that the little girl on the plane had a Dora the Explorer airplane I kept wanting to yell at the ipod that 8 year olds are waaaaaaayy too old to want anything Dora related. My four year old thinks it's boring. Hard to get past that.
I got to page 197. FORCED myself to this page and decided that in just not going to waste anymore of my time. There's just too many other good books out there waiting to be read but I decided to see what I was missing when I read your review. SPOT ON! The mom was already annoying me with her 'why are they so interested in the twins?' but not freaked out by it...especially after being warned by two women (the woman in the diner, then the mom of the twins' friend). But your point about how quickly the dad went from 'no way Jose am I killing my kids' to 'which one do I stab' was ridiculous. So, I'm glad in putting this one to rest since it sounds like it doesn't get any better from this page on out.
This is the funniest bad review I have ever read. Here I was feeling a little bad about giving up 10% into a (thankfully library acquired) Kindle edition. I could not stand the narration in second person, the kids' inner lives were in adult vernacular (and I had just finished a book that drew a 9 year old's inner life to perfection) and I didn't like anyone yet. When the neighbor said "we are all gardeners" and he used the word salacious to describe the delivery, I had to look up salacious to see if it meant what I thought it meant (sexual connotations? really? yes really) I was curious about the basement. But I could never endure a homicidal parent, would much prefer scary twins. So, did that door go anywhere or was it really just a coal chute? (NO need to answer, you have suffered enough.)
Oh for eff's sake. I really appreciate this spoiler tidbit and your entire review. I do have one correction. They bolted the door 39 times not a million. Because that is how many people died in the crash. And now you tell me there is no meaningful connection between the herbalists and the PTSD haunting so I am ever more confused. Anyway, thank you for suffering in my stead. Now I do not regret missing 90% of the book. At all.
Wish I would have read this review before I wasted my time reading the book. Lesson learned! I'm just having a really hard time finding a good book lately.
I disagree with your rating of the book (it wasn't THAT bad!---although I did "read" it in audio format), but you do write an excellent review, and I hope you will keep on writing.
Although, I don't understand the ending of the book. Besides the surviving daughter, how did Chip come to join the cult after his exorcism? And the mother? Why did SHE join? You're right. It was a pretty dumb book. But still entertaining.
I wish we could have read one more time how the pilot was no Sully Sullenberger. Because 100 times is not enough, although I may be exaggerating just a little bit on that number.
The comments alone are enough to stop me from ever reading this
Your review is very entertaining. I started reading this book a week ago and had to stop after just three attempts. I feel a lot better now about returning to the library, unread. It's poorly written. There's too much backstory about the parents' parents and all that. The issue with the girls' voice bothered the heck out of me. I have an 11-year-old and I found this extremely irritating. The second-person narrative was so out of place, it felt like an experiment, as if the author was testing this style. Maybe he was trying to be literary. Glad I didn't waste my time.
well it's cool it's scary I'll read more part of it well I love it I've read this book before and want to read again
quite possibly the worst book i have ever read...and a miserable way to waste a perfectly good weekend. the story was packed with every over-used archetype and trope imaginable; creepy house, cute children creepier locals, devoted wife, dead pet...reheated The Shining, Practical Magic, etc. Bohjalian must have had a hart deadline or needed quick cash.
Argh. I read it until the end, hoping against ridiculous hope that things would turn out differently. Sadly, no.I generally like Chris Bohjalian's novels, but this one just pissed me off. As mentioned eloquently many times, the two story lines, the name changes, the oblivion of Emily, the twins' voices....all irritating devices. Muddy and unbelievable plot. That epilogue was so, so disappointing.
Thanks for a thorough and spot-on review!
You expressed my feelings exactly! Thank you for saving me from writing it out.
Thanks for saving me from reading this.
Your review is so spot on, it's incredible. The book was way too convulated with so many storylines. I can't even begin to convey how disappointed I was with the epilogue, creepy, creepy, creepy.
I am annoyed I kept thinking the result would be benign. Too much Stepford Wives or Rosemary's Baby for me! Was very disappointed too.
Damn and I had just ordered this book ... but on a happy note it was a very inexpensive used copy
Who knows, you might end up having a completely different experience and loving the book - it has plenty of positive reviews, so other readers clearly found something to like about it. Give it a chance!
Madeline wrote: "Who knows, you might end up having a completely different experience and loving the book - it has plenty of positive reviews, so other readers clearly found something to like about it. Give it a ch..."Wow. Madeline is in a good mood today!
Honey, this is not Facebook. You can't tag people.
This is the funniest review I’ve seen here on gr in a long time. Thank you for posting it, as I’d been questioning whether to put down this novel while struggling to get thru another chapter. I’d tried once before, and noped out as soon as I realized the herbalist-witches started talking about sacrifices of children. I’d forgotten about this novel’s name and author completely, unfortunately, and picked it up a few days ago because some unfortunate person on Book Riot recommended it to us all and thought it sounded good..... and started remembering which one it was. (Damn you, Book Riot!!). Well I’m hurling this book back to the library, AND posting a ‘review’ on my gr page that consists of a link to your review, Madeline...! Because more people should read your review and be informed. Too bad only three or four people actually read my reviews.... 😝
Your hilarious! Hopefully you dont mind but I just started following you because of this one review. If I need/want brutal honesty about a book, your my first stop from now on. Hell, if Im having a bad day and need a good laugh, 1 Star Reviews by Madeline is now on my list. Definitely in the top 3! "Facedesk" and "the greater good" had me laughing with tears. My poor dog dint know if she should comfort me for the tears or run and hide because the "hooman" has finally cracked...for good this time?Have a great Holiday Season and thank you for detouring me away from a wasted 14 hours of listening to this book. As well as the countless second-person present rants of the plane crashing, people dieing and the sadness of it by he pilot. Appreciated!
Okay, let me revise that: there is nothing wrong with naming your kid Garnet (although Garnette looks much prettier), but it is stupid to name her that just because she has red hair.