Okay, so I have been actively rooting for the bad guys to kill, or at least inflict a little pain upon, the heroine. That was a bad sign. But, when I Okay, so I have been actively rooting for the bad guys to kill, or at least inflict a little pain upon, the heroine. That was a bad sign. But, when I finally hit the sex scene and I felt like I was going to throw up a little bit, I knew it was time to ditch this book. So, I am calling it at 70%.
[image] It's not me, it's you.
So, you know those older women who are volunteers at the school or library, or maybe they are the "team mom" and they consider this their domain of power? You know who I mean. They take themselves so seriously and wield their authority like they are the CEO of Who Gives A Shit Inc... Even at our old church, you didn't mess with the ladies in charge of the doughnuts. They didn't take your shit. How dare you think you can volunteer for a church job and not realize that means that you are now a threat to some dried-up hags who aren't getting enough at home and therefore they hate everyone who has any joy in their lives.
That's our heroine.
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She is so horrible. I just can't even. She's a 50 yr old spinster who rules the library with an iron fist. So, when this new guy comes along and dares to open an annex to the library, well, she's not allowing him to take HER power and books. No. It doesn't matter if having a second location would be better for the community, or that she doesn't even have to see the guy. He exists, and she must squash him.
"She couldn't let this gambit of his, to exert his will, his control on her Library go unanswered... [image]
He's our hero. A complete dorkus who is apparently hot for the woman who treats him like human waste.
[image] so many questions about what's going on here....
The idea that anyone would ever have sex with this woman just isn't plausible. Nobody, I don't care how desperate would do it. I don't care how often you tell me that she is "hot" - I'm not buying it. Her personality is the best birth control on the planet. The sentence that made me finally ditch the book.... after dry heaving was this one:
Oh No'ssss... our special Mary Sue Nora, the most special-est special girl in Special Town, is turning dark!! What will happen? Please tell me there wOh No'ssss... our special Mary Sue Nora, the most special-est special girl in Special Town, is turning dark!! What will happen? Please tell me there will be a magical fix-all that shows up at exactly the right time!!
[image] Aww, thank you, trope! You and all of your trope friends have been there for us throughout the series. You are faithful to the end.
So, yeah. She's turning dark. And, frankly, I was on Team Dark. She was much more interesting as a cold, heartless killer than she is as a messed-up Damsel in Distress with intimacy issues. Oh, but don't worry, because as we all know, according to books, there is also a magic out there that will cure all intimacy issues with a single thrust.
That's right, it's the magic penis.
Girls, penises are so magical that they will make your own body betray you. In their presence you will find yourself letting out the breath you didn't know you were holding. Your legs will give out and you will be in a swoon. Your breasts will get involved in ways that you didn't know were possible. Sometimes they will tighten up - other times they will heave. But, they will definitely respond to the magic peen. They can't help it - being womanly mounds that are strictly designed for manly pleasure and all.
[image] Holy shit! What kind of penis is this guy packing? Its magic is powerful, friends. Better to stay away. Far away.
Since Nora now has .... I lost count... a bunch of boyfriends - including the new guy who showed up at the beginning of this book and is like Scrappy Doo in that he was an unnecessary character added in too late to a settled environment.... Anyway, that's a lot of penises. And, don't forget, they are magic.... and Nora needs healing.... So, you all know where this has been heading since day one.
[image] Yeah, Nora gonna be getting her freak on with the boys.
So, again it was a lot of guys, the whole book is a series of each guy taking his turn to do a curing-session with Nora and their magic peen. Of course, the peens may be magic, but the author didn't have any balls because the sex scenes were lame and faded to black in a crappy way. If you want to know how to fade-to-black well, just read Nora Roberts, writing as J.D. Robb, in the Eve Dallas series. She knows how to make a sex scene romantic and hot while still keeping it clean and fading away.
[image] Yes, just like this.
It did make me realize that I'm not a Reverse Harem kind of girl. One monogamous relationship is better because you can build up the romance and heat, and the sex is the pay-off. When you have to fit in sex scenes for a bunch of guys, it loses its magic and it feels forced & rushed.
I'm not the Rook fan that so many readers are, and this book sealed the deal with Rook staying off my book-boyfriend list. Why? He says his favorite CI'm not the Rook fan that so many readers are, and this book sealed the deal with Rook staying off my book-boyfriend list. Why? He says his favorite Christmas movie is Home Alone. Really, dude? Are you 8 years old? Because, the last book said you are a werewolf who is over 100 years old. What the hell happened?
[image] Too many hits in the head?
Girls, take a word of advice from your old Auntie Jilly. If a guy tells you his favorite Christmas movie is Home Alone, he is a man-child. Stay away - far away. Not only because he will just be another kid for you to raise, but also because he will also think farts are the funniest things in the world. So, not only will you be stuck doing absolutely everything responsible in life, watching America's Funniest Home Videos every week, and cleaning around him while he plays Fortnite; but he will also probably awaken you each morning in the traditional man-child way: the Dutch Oven. Yeah. You don't need shit like this. His boyish charm will get real old real fast. Choose a man instead.
[image] Now keep sewing my shit, then can we have pizza for dinner again?
So, in this book we get a new guy added to the Reverse Harem Where Nobody is Getting Lucky, so it's really just The Friend Zone. His name is Illren, but I'm allowing the strange name because he's Fae. They have weird names. It's a cultural thing and I'm all about respecting other cultures. Except Bro Culture. I'm all about respecting cultures that don't include a bunch of Chads.
[image] Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.
The reason I didn't like this book as well as the others is because although Nora is getting more and more special as the story progresses, and she's the most powerful being ever.... there is no evidence of it. She does a little too much Damsel-in-Distressing. I just want to see her become a badass that she, as a Mary Sue, should be.
Cool! New-to-me urban fantasy with all the magic critters in there.
[image] Okay. I was thinking more along the lines of vampires, werewolves, and fairiCool! New-to-me urban fantasy with all the magic critters in there.
[image] Okay. I was thinking more along the lines of vampires, werewolves, and fairies, but this works too. I'm not judging.
Our heroine is Nora who is "human" with psychic abilities and the "curse" of being irresistible to men.**
[image] It's magic.
But actually, for her it is a curse. Instead of being nice and giving her all their money and chocolate - which is totally how I would use such a power if I had it, these guys get obsessed with her in a way that stalkers get. All killy and shit.
[image] Don't worry. I'm sure she's fine. I haven't watched the ending yet, but I have a good feeling about these two.
In an attempt to get her newest stalker to not rape her, she gets him to take her to a club that has all of the supernaturals of the world just looking for their latest prey. And, in a major you-go-girl moment, she hands him off to a succubus. Again:
[image] Don't be mocking my Zumba moves.
The problem is that now the supernatural gang is aware of Nora.... and she has that curse thingy so a bunch of them want to play marry-fuck-kill with her and do all three. She done did it now. But, don't worry. She's a Mary Sue. She's totally got this.
[image] Oh. That's... that's gonna take the "repeat" part of the shampoo bottle instructions. Yeah.
The good news is that I liked it even though there was absolutely NO porn. It was all friendships and gentle let-downs on Nora's part. She has just one zone.
[image]
I know. I'm disappointed in me too. But, don't worry, I'll read some strange and dirty once I've finished this wholesome shit.
** Yes, I'm even more disappointed with myself for using what are obviously meant to be "air quotes". I don't have any excuse other than I may or may not be drinking. Let's face it, air quotes and drunk people go together like vodka and cranberry juice. (Really good.)...more
If you love the Pixar movie, Megamind, but wish it was a gay romance with porny moments and narrated from the POV of a minion, hey, have I got the perIf you love the Pixar movie, Megamind, but wish it was a gay romance with porny moments and narrated from the POV of a minion, hey, have I got the perfect book for you!!
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Pat is our hero. He is also the son of a super-villain who is planning her next world domination campaign, along with being a part-time minion for other villains, a night manager at a super-hero's estate, and a college student who is hoping to become a city planner one day.
[image] Just your average guy.
One evening at his super-hero night manager job he gets mistaken for a male prostitute that the super-hero ordered up and thinks that he is just getting very very lucky that night. Later, when he realizes that he was mistaken for a hooker, he reacts just like any reasonable person would react...
[image]
Okay, so maybe everyone wouldn't react like that. But, Pat has his own way of thinking. For instance, he thinks the evil villains are way cooler than the super heroes in this world. He might have a bit of a crush on the hero that he is boning-for-dollars, named Nick, but he's not impressed with him the way he is with the villain who was able to create android evil dolphins.
"Sir Toby built android dolphins. They had individual personalities! They frolicked cutely in the ocean waves whenever they'd blown up another base! How much more awesome can you get?"
Nick frowned darkly at him. "I could build android dolphins, if I wanted to."
"But you haven't, have you?"
No. Nick hadn't. He was too busy building "useful" stuff to keep the world safe instead of cool robot animals that kill on command. Like a loser.
[image] I like the dolphin thing better.
This book was hilarious from start to finish. The complexities of being an evil minion are given to us in glorious detail, including important information like how much body oil is the proper amount when you are posing as a slutty groupie when the heroes enter the lair, and whether or not a mask will actually help hide your identity. (Hint: would you recognize someone you knew if they were wearing a little silk mask around their eyes?)
[image] The only funny bit in the whole movie.
Pat and Nick's love story was adorable too.
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Oh, and Pat's evil family? Awesome!!
Pat's Dad: "I did air out the old lair... and bring in the contractors to make the necessary alterations. Tomorrow I'm going to mow the lawn and prune the trees, and after I'll cook some stews and casseroles to put in the freezer. We'll be glad of them when we're busy gaining dominion over the world and can't find time to cook."
[image]
I totally loved this book!! Yes, I used way too many gifs in this review, but our family is a Megamind family. We answer the phone with "Ollo?" Spiders are all spee-iders. It's a thing. #sorrynotsorry...more
Really, who is responsible for the atrocities committed upon these book covers? Just when you think your eyes have recovered from the last book, bam, Really, who is responsible for the atrocities committed upon these book covers? Just when you think your eyes have recovered from the last book, bam, the next one in the series comes along and re-assaults your eyes. I mean, come on.
Here's what I imagine happened in the meeting at the publisher:
Boss: "This book stars two men who are so beautiful that one of them is magical and the other has every human in town in love with him. We need a cover to reflect their other-worldly beauty, along with their simmering desire that will grow into everlasting love. As it happens, my child, the third grader with the lazy eye, is an aspiring artist. I'm sure that just because I'm your boss and have been known to fire anyone who crosses me, this will in no way affect your decision on whether or not we will use little Suzie's drawing for the cover. Let's take a vote while I look each of you menacingly in the eye as you tell me your answer."
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Okay, so my own daughter who could out-draw Suzie so hard that she will make her cry just came in and said the cover photo looks like a guy holding his ventriloquist's dummy and asking it why nobody loves him and the dummy confesses its undying love to him. I think it looks like a bad caricature artist at an amusement park drew it for you right after he got off the spinning teacup ride. I'm listening to all theories. I'm very intrigued as to what is happening here with the cover art. Is someone in trouble? Is this a cry for help? I feel like I should call the police.
So, why did I give it such a high rating? Because you really can't judge a book by its cover. This was good. Star Wars good. No, not the latest Star Wars, or the prequels. The bar isn't that low. Original, mint Star Wars good. Well, okay, maybe that's setting it too high. Let's say New Hope good, not Empire Strikes Back good. That's perfect. Now you get it.
This was a fun paranormal romance because you totally fall for all of the characters. There is a whole town filled with people who are in this book and the next. You feel like you know them after a while. The romance was cute and simmering. And, best part of all: it had a transgender character and it was done amazingly well. As you all know, I have a transgender person in my life and I am a strong ally for all LGBT people. Trans people deal with a lot of hate and violence against them. It makes me happy when I can see a character who is trans being represented as just a normal person who deserves to be treated as such. It was awesome!
I had to read this book for three reasons: 1. I read a previous book in this series and a friend convinced me to give it another try. 2. The cover looksI had to read this book for three reasons: 1. I read a previous book in this series and a friend convinced me to give it another try. 2. The cover looks like bad-touch uncle is at it again. 3. I needed to know just how little this wolf was. Is it like a teacup wolf? I could go for a purse-wolf to carry around town. Color me intrigued.
So, this little wolf is an angsty guy who is slightly self-conscious about his size. I mean, jeez, he gave himself the fake last name of Littlewolf. Dude, really? You don't play that way. Accentuate the positive man. Instead of Littlewolf, try Bigdog. It's all about the marketing.
[image] Glass half full or half empty. You decide.
It turned out that this guy, little wolf, wasn't even that little. He was average size. I was disappointed in this. I was really hoping things were going to go a different direction and really blow my mind. Oh well. I guess my miniature werewolf book has yet to be written.
[image] Woah, wait a minute. How small were the kids in the picture? I see another great book in the making.
Little wolf has a crush on Big Cop and he angsts pretty much 24/7 over the whole thing. He is also completely oblivious to the fact that they are mates. Destiny and all that. So, he makes himself and big cop miserable for hundreds of pages.
[image] See? A chihuahua would never call itself a little dog. They know they kickass.
I liked the town this was set in and the friends that little wolf has. I didn't like how much angst there was because it was just a bit OTT. But, I also liked the smut. I can sit through angst for smut. It's the way I can convince myself that it's a romance, not porn. It's all in how you spin it.
Oh my god. The month is only halfway over. This is never going to end. To my husband: Go back to work!! For god's sake! You're young and healthy. Ish.Oh my god. The month is only halfway over. This is never going to end. To my husband: Go back to work!! For god's sake! You're young and healthy. Ish. You can do it!
[image]
Okay, so yeah, no time to read because somebody wants all of Jilly's time and attention these days. (Hint: it sure as hell isn't my children.) On the few stolen hours I get, I try and escape this hellscape of reality in my book-world. Oh book boyfriends, why can't real-life husbands be like you? All sex and cuteness and romance and making me giggle, but then I can put you down and never think of you again unless I feel like it. Never making messes. Never asking me 35 times a day where something is...
[image] Anyone have a tiger available to rent for the day? Asking for a friend.
But, I digress. I promised to bitch this entire apocalypse, and I intend to live up to that promise. You're welcome.
Okay, so this book was fun. The best part of it really was that the characters were so damn likable. They were complicated, quirky, and had great banter going. The side characters were even good. It was super easy to get invested in the story because of how well-written they all were.
There were a lot of different kind of shifters in the book, but our main hero and heroine were bears. And, they had very bearish qualities going on. That was a lot of fun.
[image] Yes, maulings happened.
Annette is our bear-girl. She is a social worker and likes food to the point of dangerous. You know, like a bear. Our guy works for an agency that occasionally does work alongside her department, so the two of them team up for a "mystery" involving missing cubs. These two have been crushing on each other for a long time, so sparks fly immediately. Plus, cute-awkward crush stuff.
[image]
I loved them immediately. However, because they are running for their lives a lot, and trying to save other lives, the actual sexy bear stuff didn't show up until the end of the book. To me, that was a bit funny because the book could have just ended, but no, there hadn't been any of the porny stuff yet, so it kept going to include the gratuitous sex. Because it would have been wrong to skip the sex. Kind of like watching a porn where the college chicks order a pizza and the pizza guy delivers the pizza and they eat it. I mean, sure, there was the satisfaction of a job well done. The pizza got there. But, something is left wanting...
[image]
This book is a good, cute, entertaining diversion in quarantine hell. Go for it....more
This series ended up being so much more than I expected when I casually picked up the first one. Now, I'm like NO!!! Don't end! I need more!
[image] Aw!This series ended up being so much more than I expected when I casually picked up the first one. Now, I'm like NO!!! Don't end! I need more!
[image] Aw! Bunny squee!! I am now thinking about bunnies and not reviews....
Stupid A.D.D.! Okay, so anyway. I love Linus and Grier. I love this world. I love Wooley the magical house, and Oscar the ghost boy. I even still love Lethe, Grier's bestie, even though she has become a caricature at this point who's only deal is to eat unbelievable amounts of food. She's the Lula of this series. And hey, I don't know about you, but I am annoyed when book girls can eat ridiculous amounts of crap - like 6 dozen donuts - yes, she ate 6 dozen donuts - and still have a perfect body while she runs around naked and perky. What the fuck? Why is this a thing? Are authors thinking we want to live vicariously through them and eat enough crap to make us puke, or do they just think it's funny? Cuz, NO to both of those things.
[image] Aww such a cute doge. I want one.
This book is the last one in the series and by now Linus and Grier have a LOT of enemies. They kill some here and there, but they aren't killing enough to keep on top of things. Plus, they aren't sure which enemies are coming from where. It's a diverse group and things get confusing.
"Why can't just one villain be after us? Or even multiple villains united under one banner? It would be so much easier to keep track of them."
Hey, we can't all have what we wish for. Hence the fact that I don't own one of those new Tesla trapezoid trucks and twin chauffeurs named Chris and Liam. Life sucks that way.
[image]
Some loose ends tie up for the series, but not all of them. For instance (view spoiler)[ the couple is going to be having a long-distance relationship for the next two years after the book ends. (hide spoiler)] That's a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there. There is another book that is the epilogue to this one. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Why no epilogue in this book - the supposed last book of the series instead of writing another book as the epilogue? And, if there's another book, isn't THAT the last book of the series, not this one? Not that I'm complaining about another book per say. It's just that this book says it's the last one and then there is another - so this book should call itself the second to last one. I just wonder why certain decisions were made here. I never even bitched about the character's names, which , let's face it, are totally bitch-worthy, but this epilogue book thing. It's annoying. I'm bitching now.
There comes a time in the life of a book series when a black tie event has to happen. It's the law. Everyone must be dressed up and at least one persoThere comes a time in the life of a book series when a black tie event has to happen. It's the law. Everyone must be dressed up and at least one person has to be shocked speechless about how good another person looks. There also must be at least one ugly scene at these events too. A murder, an evil person's grand entrance, a run-in with a catty ex - that kind of thing. In this case, we get a ball, and at least two of those three things happen.
[image] Bitches love dancing.
As we lead up to the ball, we get to see Grier go through her post break-up depression with losing both her bestie and boyfriend. Luckily, she has the delicious Linus to take up the slack in the boy department and the hilarious Lethe to take the BFF slot over. By the end of the book Grier is so happy that it makes you wonder how great the two exes are when they were so easily replaced. Let's face it, you don't want to be someone so utterly bad at anything that basically anyone can come in, take your job, and be better at it than you ever were.
[image] The name alone tells you it's going to be better at its job.
As usual there are also a lot of things trying to either kill or kidnap Grier. There is never a shortage of action in these books. I feel like the series is getting better as it goes on.
This is the first book in the series that was centered on a new couple, and it's one we've all been waiting for. Cael is Dex's brother and he's a cheeThis is the first book in the series that was centered on a new couple, and it's one we've all been waiting for. Cael is Dex's brother and he's a cheetah-shifter. Here's something I didn't know, but was all over youtube to hear it: Cheetahs chirp. It's freaking adorable!!
[image] Isn't that so cute? ... wait, what about their daddy issues?
Okay, the daddy issues might explain why Cael is into Ash, a lion-shifter who is a lot older than him. Ash is a grump ash-hole who is horrible to everyone but Cael. He also considers Cael adorable. Because, once again, Cael is adorable. I can't stress this enough.
[image] Yes, this adorable.
So, here was the problem.... it was hard to see Cael as anything sexual. He was cute and bouncy and chirpy and you want to hug him. But, he seemed asexual because of it. And, Ash's relationship with him was very paternal or big-brotherish. It seemed weird for Cael to be the center of anything sexual. It would be like a panda porn. Have you ever heard of panda porn? No? That's because there is no such thing. It's wrong. Pandas even know it's wrong. That's why it's so damn hard to get them to procreate. They look at each other and think about how cute the other one is and want to cuddle it while saying "awww", not have sex. That's icky.
[image] Except this guy. He's only got one thing on his mind. Pervert!
Other than that, I really liked the book. Cael is a character I want to adopt and smother mother with my love.
The next book in this incestuous little group of gay-shifter cops. Pretty much, everyone is hooking up with someone else in the squad.
An outsider's quThe next book in this incestuous little group of gay-shifter cops. Pretty much, everyone is hooking up with someone else in the squad.
An outsider's question to the team:
"Question one: are you all screwing each other? Question two: how can I get in on the action?"
[image] What the hell. What's one more guy at this point?
The only problem with this book in the series is that my favorite character, Dex, gets serious. You know how much I hate serious stuff. I'm against it. But, he's all being Mr. Broody and shit in this one. *sigh*
Also, he's being a lousy boyfriend because his man just got out of the hospital and needs help while he recovers but Dex stays away for days at a time. Totally rude! And, his boyfriend didn't just have the man-flu, it was a serious injury! He truly needed someone to take care of him!
But Dex's attitude: [image]
Still... loving the series, the squad, the bros. Lots of fun....more
I've decided that the main character in this series, Dex, needs to be added to my book-boyfriend harem even though he is gay. He's hilarious, gorgeousI've decided that the main character in this series, Dex, needs to be added to my book-boyfriend harem even though he is gay. He's hilarious, gorgeous, charming.....hmmm, I think this may be a bad idea because he's so awesome that my other book boyfriends are totally going to become "gay for you" when they meet him. Then, when I show up all of my book boyfriends are going to be all "Sorry Jilly, we're gay now." And, I'll just be sitting there like a chump while all the gay sexy times are happening. .... Wait, do you think they'll let me watch? Can I have popcorn? Considering my new found love of gay romance books, this could apparently be my bag, baby.
[image] Don't judge!
So, this series is a bunch of sexy gay shifters and human army/cop dudes fighting crime and being all into each other. What more can you ask for?...more
You know how some people hate the word "moist"? The first biggest problem I had with this book was that the word "lover" was used on every other page. You know how some people hate the word "moist"? The first biggest problem I had with this book was that the word "lover" was used on every other page. "Lover" is my "moist." I feel literal ick feelings inside when someone calls their S.O. that. It reminds me of that SNL skit where the creepy old hippy couple keep calling each other that.
[image] [image] *visible shuddering*
Yeah. That sucked all of the hotness from this book for me.
The other thing I didn't like was that our couple from the first book was in complete angst this whole book. Sloane was an ass and Dex was putting up with it.
[image] Yes, that's exactly Dex.
But, aside from those things, I really liked the book. We have the psycho from the last book determined to kill out the shifter race. He keeps making moves and the team keeps trying to figure out why. The problem is that this psycho is pretty smart.... smarter than them. Maybe the human race IS better than the shifters. Maybe the psycho is right. Humans for the win!
[image] *suspicious eyes*
This book is mainly a cop-book of them trying to catch a creep with occasional scenes of sex and angst. The angst is worth it in the end because the characters in this series are great. I am totally invested in all of them getting happy endings....more
[image] Omg, quarantine sucks! I always thought I would be fine if I was in solitary confinement or jail because of all the reading-time potential. Oh h[image] Omg, quarantine sucks! I always thought I would be fine if I was in solitary confinement or jail because of all the reading-time potential. Oh how wrong I was! And, I have my whole family with me. Three adult children who are hilarious and my hubs, from whom they got their hilariousness. I'm still bored as hell. How many people are going to go on massive killing sprees from being stir-crazy before this is over? I mean, along with me, of course. So, start on 2 when you're counting.
The only bright spot is the weekly grocery shopping. The whole fucking family wants to go now, just to get out of the house. We have to take 2 cars. It's like the world's saddest parade. And then all too soon, it's back to: [image]
Okay, the bitching about real life part of my review is over (until my next review, because I WILL be complaining for the first parts of my reviews until this is done. I am all about sharing.) On to the book!
There were a few books in the middle of this series that were pretty bad. I almost stopped reading even, but they got their mojo back in recent years. I really liked the couple in this one. And, there was a ton of change that happened in the overall world. Things that have been going on since the beginning of the series came to a head. It was awesome.
[image] We finally get to see the whole picture.
The other awesome part of this book is that close to half of it is focused on the bromance of Butch and V. So, all of you shippers get that little treat. And, yes, I agree that they totally should have been a couple because their wives have the personalities of tree stumps. And, not even interesting tree stumps. So, it was great that the focus was on the two guys with barely a wife-scene involved.
Vishous: "Where are you? And if you say not important I'm going to punch this angel because he's the closest thing to me."
Butch: "Not important..."
Over the connection, there was a muffled OW! What the FUCK, V!
"God, that was satisfying," V murmured. "Thank you."
Butch: "You're welcome."
The angel is, of course, my favorite: Lassiter. He isn't around as much as I would have liked, but he definitely makes an impression when he is.
(As the Big Bad looks out over the city, preparing to kill and destroy) But there was something on the bridge. Standing with feet planted and body braced.
... It was a male. Dressed in... were those hot pink zebra tights? And what was that shirt? Was that... Barney?
Always interesting is Lassiter. The guy definitely knows how to leave an impression.
So, if you haven't read the series, you will be completely lost on this one. But, if you're a fan, even if you lost that loving feeling somewhere along the line, you will probably love this one. The magic is back for sure.
I've enjoyed this spin-off series to BDB because it really goes back to the older format of paranormal romance in this ultra-cool vampire world. We haI've enjoyed this spin-off series to BDB because it really goes back to the older format of paranormal romance in this ultra-cool vampire world. We have the couple who always do the insta-love, but it's because of the vampire thing, so we allow it. And then the vampire-dangerous-edgy-world thing that tries to tear them apart. It's a working formula.
[image] Looks like no one is thinking about the children. Sorry kids!
For the big, giant fan base of Butch, this is your bag, babies! Not only is Butch a main character here, but there are plenty of times when he and V do their hilarious BFF's 4-eva thing. (Or is it 5-eva these days? oh, you crazy kids with your slang and your gameboys! I'll never keep up with your hip new language.) Better yet, Butch is going back to his cop-roots and working a serial killer murder mystery. I really like the idea of him building a vampire police force in the series. That would be awesome!
The couple here is Boone, a trainee from the aristocracy, and Helenia, a pleb vamp with red hair and yellow eyes.
[image] Try and resist such beauty.
Boone is a rich boy who doesn't get along with his father and hates all of the things his dad stands for, and does things that rejects his father's ways, and hates all of the fake rich people who surround him, and ....... yeah, okay, he still lives in his father's mansion even as a grown-up, drives a hundred thousand dollar car, and has servants that take care of his every need..... but he rejects it all!!
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I liked Boone. He is a good guy with better character than his father, but it was it still kinda funny that he was a grown ass man and could have just left the mansion at any time and didn't. These damn millennials, huh?
[image] (I admit it. Jean Ralphio is kinda my millennial-crush. Well, after Orin. I mean, come on.)
Boone ends up helping Butch with his investigation and Helenia is a witness. He does what all good cops do: immediately falls in love with a material witness to a murder. Yeah, that's not going to be good for anyone.
I liked the murder-mystery aspect of things in the story. It was a break from the usual bad guys in the world and it was a very new thing for the series. But, I do have to warn you that there is almost a laughable solution to it all. Still, props to JR Ward for doing something new here.
I'm also really hoping the next BDB book with feature Syn. That guy is an intriguing character for sure, and I can see really great possibilities for him to become a fan favorite....more
After watching Lord of the Rings, did you ever just wish there would be a movie about Samwise Gamgee? Let's face it, Sam was an important character anAfter watching Lord of the Rings, did you ever just wish there would be a movie about Samwise Gamgee? Let's face it, Sam was an important character and evil would have prevailed without his pure heart. But, would his movie be entertaining without all of the Ring stuff?
[image] Well, maybe the fritos story would be ok....
That's kind of what was wrong with this book. The book was from the POV of a side-character who has been an awesome presence in the series. The guy's name is Curtis Ash - or Crash - which alone is cool. But, he's cool in every other way too. So, writing a book about him wasn't necessarily a bad idea. It's just that sometimes a person is more intriguing when you know less about them. Not more.
[image] Yeah. Yeah, Sam. That's fascinating.
Crash's story is fine. He's a great guy and I was rooting for him to find love and happiness. But, I don't read these books for a basic gay romance. I read them for Victor Bayne - the ghost whisperer and cop. In this book, we get no ghosts or crimes or the neurosis of Vic. We just get the story of a cool guy who had some shitty luck and found his groove in selling psych stuff. It was okay. But, definitely not as good as the other books.
Okay, so this book is about a bunch of elves, specifically the prince of the elves, and apparently they are the ancestoBeware of free books on Amazon.
Okay, so this book is about a bunch of elves, specifically the prince of the elves, and apparently they are the ancestors of vampires who were elves that turned evil. They drink blood, but they also eat fruits and vegetables. I've got to wonder here: have they tried meat? Maybe they don't necessarily need blood, but just crave protein. How do you go from needing a little protein to thinking that the only way to get it is by drinking blood? I'm guessing these guys could just eat a steak and be fine. Of course, I'm from Texas. Our motto is: eat meat. Yeah, we are a simple-fix kinda people. Feeling peckish? Eat some barbecue and you will perk right up. You want some fat with your protein? We can chicken-fry your steak. Problem solved!
[image] Food pyramid or circles of Heaven? Turns out it's both.
Plus, these guys are elves, right? So what, are they biting ankles? Do we need to go around wearing shin guards? Watch out, ladies. Those sexy little elves are going to be all over your pedicure! [image] Those little suckers are mean. They really need a burger.
So our human heroine is a doctor/scientist who is drooling over some hot immortal guy who is unconscious on her lab slab. You know, like doctors do. I can't even tell you how many times my gynecologist told me that I'm hot. Of course, that could have been the gonorrhea, but that's a different story for a different day. Oh Vegas. You give so much and ask for so little. Well, except for all of our money.
Anywhooo, the unconscious dude wakes up and bites her which binds her to him for all of eternity. *sigh*
Even all of that would have been fine if the story moved along at a normal pace. But it didn't. It was so excruciatingly slow that I needed a steak just to stop myself from killing everyone in the room by draining their blood.
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So, maybe that's what happened with these "evil" elves. They were forced to read books like this and said, "fuck this shit. I'm going on a killing spree." That feels like the true story behind the vampire lore here.
I really did read a lot longer than most people who reviewed this book. I gave it a chance. But, I'm too old for this shit. I'll be dead before the story is over, and I'd probably be happy to die just for it to end. Plus:
I've had this book forever, but forced myself to wait until the next one came out because I heard it ended in that way that makes you insanely cravingI've had this book forever, but forced myself to wait until the next one came out because I heard it ended in that way that makes you insanely craving the next book for a year. I'm tired of pining after next-books! If I love a book, you must give me 30 books to read immediately!!
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And, there was no way I wasn't going to love this. It's Ilona Andrews!
This book is about Catalina, a siren, who has a family of mostly magic-users that does investigative work for their profession. She takes a case to find out who killed her friend's mother and sister, but it ends up being something so huge that she is way in over her head.
[image] A little backup?? Please!
Enter the hero!! Alessandro is a guy that we met in the last book of the series. He's supposedly a rich playboy, but we learn he is much more than that. He ends up working with Catalina and sparks are flying everywhere. Not all of these sparks are romantic, though, because there is magical bees and flying scorpion-like monsters also flying around. I hate when that happens.
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Alessandro is a good match for Catalina, but I didn't feel it. He won't make my book-boyfriend list like Mad Rogan did. He just feels young. Maybe I am finally allowing my mental age catch up with my physical age because I kinda liked Linus better and he is hella old (meaning, my age). But, he's so blood-thirsty! How could I resist? “Follow me,” Linus ordered. “And cheer up. We’re about to embark on a killing spree accompanied by massive property damage. Try to have fun.”
Plus, he makes fajitas. That is a sure-fire way to a Texas girl's heart.
So now that my waiting has paid off, I will immediately get to read the next book... Then I'll wait for the next one. *sigh* yeah. My plan isn't perfect.