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Pun Quotes

Quotes tagged as "pun" Showing 1-30 of 81
Rick Riordan
“In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh . . . ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]”
Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
tags: pun

Rick Riordan
“We’ve arrived,” Leo announced. “Time to Split.”
Frank groaned. “Can we leave Valdez in Croatia?”
Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

Rachel Hawkins
“I was supposed to watch you, yeah. They thought it was weird that Atherton would send his own kid to Hecate, so we wanted to keep an eye on you. No pun intended.” (Archer)”
Rachel Hawkins, Demonglass

Oscar Levant
“A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.”
Oscar Levant
tags: humor, pun

Rachel Hawkins
“So the Casnoffs are at Hex Hall. Probably with however many demons they've managed to create. What are they doing there? Throwing a hellacious slumber party?”
Rachel Hawkins, Spell Bound
tags: demon, pun

Winston S. Churchill
“Safari, so goody.”
Winston S. Churchill

Iain Banks
“He hit and fatally injured my innocent and unfortunate uncle whose muttered last words in hospital, before his coma became a full stop, were: 'My God, the buggers've learned to fly...”
Iain Banks, The Wasp Factory
tags: pun

Meg Cabot
“But things were different now. I finally had my head -pun intended- on straight.”
Meg Cabot, Runaway
tags: head, pun

Stephen        King
“Of course they had more chains on him than Scrooge saw on Marley's ghost, but he could have kicked up dickens if he'd wanted. That's a pun, son.”
Stephen King, The Green Mile

Alan J. Perlis
“Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.”
Alan J. Perlis, Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

Eric Idle
“The room was rococo. I had a strong sense of gilt.”
Eric Idle, The Road to Mars: A Post-Modem Novel
tags: pun

Robert Anton Wilson
“See you when tea is hot.”
Robert Anton Wilson, Masks of the Illuminati
tags: pun

Robert Louis Stevenson
“Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'
Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'
Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'
I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.”
Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island

Valerie Estelle Frankel
“A pun is its own reword.”
Valerie Estelle Frankel
tags: pun

Khayri R.R. Woulfe
“Here's a queer fact: none among the skeletons in your closet are ‘straight’ so expect them to ‘come out’ very, very soon...”
Khayri R.R. Woulfe

“I think; therefore, I am above average.”
Michael Walton
tags: humor, pun

Kelli Jae Baeli
“If a UFO did land, and invite me onboard, I'd love to have the balls to go in. So, I search the skies for extra testicles.”
Kelli Jae Baeli, Bettered by a Dead Crustacean

“Brody's not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody's not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear...nothing is ever perfectly straight. It's slash.”
Dart Gray, The Introspective Debate of Owen Brody
tags: gay, pun, witty

Terry Pratchett
“Don't worry,' he said. 'I'm on your side. A violent death is the last thing that'll happen to you.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Simon Pegg
“Star Wars was released in the UK in December 1977 and it's fair to say, like the peaceful planet of Alderaan, I was totally blown away.”
Simon Pegg, Nerd Do Well

Jordan Kurella
“Sitting comfortably on an old vehicle uniframe in scuffed up boots and a long hoodie so holey it should take up religion.”
Jordan Kurella, Glitter + Ashes: Queer Tales of a World That Wouldn’t Die

Michael Bassey Johnson
“What did the weevils say?
‘We-evil!”
Michael Bassey Johnson, Song of a Nature Lover

Terry Pratchett
“The staff regarded her woodenly”
Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

Kristy Cunning
“Sidetracked,” Jude butts in. “The point is, we can’t enjoy a woman, unless we enjoy her together. It’s part of the bond. None of us have ever had a woman on our own.”

“So if you were a boy band, you’d be One Erection,”
Kristy Cunning

Kristy Cunning
“Sidetracked,” Jude butts in. “The point is, we can’t enjoy a woman, unless we enjoy her together. It’s part of the bond. None of us have ever had a woman on our own.” “So if you were a boy band, you’d be One Erection.”
Kristy Cunning, Four Psychos & Three Trials

Linda Kage
“You’re playing with fire.” Then she went and jabbed her finger into my gut.

I laughed and dodged away when she came at me again. “Woman,” I warned. “Don’t poke me.”

With a playful laugh, she charged. “Don’t be such a baby. I like it when you poke me.”

As I caught her and imprisoned her arms, I threw my head back and roared with laughter.”
Linda Kage, A Perfect Ten

Salman Rushdie
“The motivations of desire are obscure even to the desirous, the desiring and the desired.”
Salman Rushdie, The Golden House

Jane Washington
“I like having sex with Vale,” I blurted. Or maybe not. He froze. The sudden shock of heat in the way he stared at me tunnelled right through to my toes. He growled out a sound of desire that belonged more to an animal than an unshakable man like Vale.

“That one was very personal.” Helki was flexing his fingers, trying not to turn them into fists as he swivelled a dark glower to Vale.

“I liked sex with you too, Beast.” I applauded my own confidence as I managed to keep a straight face. “It was shattering."

Andel groaned, his head falling into his hands. “Tell me she didn’t just make a spinal injury joke.”
Jane Washington, A World of Lost Words

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