Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy Quotes

“God's Final Message to His Creation:
'We apologize for the inconvenience.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
"What?"
"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"
"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."
Ford shrugged again.
"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."
"But that's terrible," said Arthur.
"Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby.
Marvin droned,
Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see in infrared,
How I hate the night.
He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“If you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty beach robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly familiar.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“Marvin was humming ironically because he hated humans so much.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board.

Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy for over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both time and space a good deal. At least being lost in space kept you busy.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“There was a terribly ghastly silence.
There was a terribly ghastly noise.
There was a terribly ghastly silence.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..."
"No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?"
"Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens."
"I can imagine.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you are in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner, please, don't hesitate to get lost.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“He had rather liked Zaphod Beeblebrox in a strange sort of way. He was clearly a man of many quallities, even if they were mostly bad ones.”
― Douglas Adams

“The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams, Douglas Adams' the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: the Authorized Collection

“Arthur lay in startled stillness on the acceleration couch. He wasn't certain whether he had just got space-sickness or religion.”
― Douglas Adams, Life the Universe and Everything - The Folio Society Edition

“He stretched, ate his last bite of fungal curds, drank the dregs of something not entirely unlike coffee, and headed out to keep peace in wartime.”
― James S.A. Corey, Leviathan Wakes

“The history of every major galactic civilisation tends to pass through three distinct and recognisable phases, those of Survival, Enquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.

For instance, the first phase is characterised by the question How can we eat?, the second by the question Why do we eat?, and the third but the question Where shall we have lunch?”
― Douglas Adams

“I think this ship's brand new," said Ford. "How can you tell?" asked Arthur. "Have you got some exotic device for measuring the age of metal?" "No, I just found this sales brochure lying on floor”
― Douglas Adams

“At some distance down the corridor it seemed suddenly as if somebody started to beat on a bass drum.

He listened to it for a few seconds and realized that it was just his heart beating.

He listened for a few seconds more and realized that it wasn’t his heart beating, it was somebody down the corridor beating on a bass drum.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft. To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.”
― Douglas Adams

“We apologize for the inconvenience - God's Final Message to His Creation”
― Doughlas Adams

“Zeka ve geleceği görme yeteneğiyle donatılmış birçok asansörün düşünmeyi gerektirmeyen ve yalnızca yukarı çıkıp aşağı inmekten ibaret bu iş yüzünden müthiş bir bunalıma girmesi de gayet normaldi, sonuçta varoluşçu bir tepki olarak, kısa bir süre için yanlamasına gitmeyi denediler, karar verme sürecinde rol almayı talep ettiler ve son olarak da suratlarını asıp bodrum katında oturma grevine başladılar.
Bugünlerde Sirius yıldız sistemindeki gezegenlerin herhangi birini ziyaret eden ve parasız her otostopçu bu nevrotik asansörlere danışmanlık görevi yaparak kolayca para kazanabilir.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Hexagonal Phase

“MR. L. PROSSER was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council.”
― Douglas Adams, Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 1 of 3

“Poszła do łóżka i śniła niespokojnie o papugach i innych ptakach. Wstała po południu i krążyła nerwowo po domu, nie mogąc zdecydować, co zrobić z resztą dnia, czy ściślej mówiąc — resztą życia.”
― Douglas Adams, Cześć, i dzięki za ryby. W zasadzie niegroźna

“One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can't. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
― Doughlas Adams

“Chyba nie. Nigdy nie poszłam i nie spróbowałam naprawdę. Nie spróbowałam naprawdę. Oto moje życie. Nie zrobić nic naprawdę.”
― Douglas Adams, Cześć, i dzięki za ryby. W zasadzie niegroźna