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The Devil and the Sea #1
Between the Devil and the Sea
What happens when a devil claims a demon?
Detective Shadow Yor hates his life.
He spends all of his time, day after day, struggling against the demons in his head that tell him he’s a worthless, unlovable person. This doesn’t change when he’s sent on a new assignment with his partner to solve a series of murders. He’s good at his job and will find whoever did it, there’s no doubt there. The only question is whether or not he’ll be able to keep himself together, or if his empathic abilities will finally be the death of him.
Apollo Orobas is bored.
He’s bored of his secret nighttime proclivities and bored of playing the part of charming neighborhood do-gooder. Apollo isn’t good, never has been, but just when he’s starting to think life holds no interest, Shadow Yor stumbles into his sights. It doesn’t take long for him to figure out the detective is also hiding his true self, and suddenly coaxing Shade’s monster out into the light is all Apollo can think of. As obsession sinks its claws in, he decides it’s time for a new game, one Shade is going to play with him. Whether he likes it or not.
Kidnapped and forced to endure whatever twisted plans Apollo has in store, Shade struggles to hold onto his idea of right and wrong, but the more he tries to resist, the more those lines start to blur. What chance does a mere demon have against an actual devil? Especially one who soothes those twisted voices in his head and makes him feel for the first time ever that maybe he isn’t as unlovable as he’s always believed.
Trigger Warning: This is a stand-alone dark romance which means there are many themes that some might find disturbing. Some of these include, but are not limited to, dub-con, violence, a seriously obsessed male lead, a male lead who deals with low self-esteem, and explicit sexual content not suitable for all readers. Please be sure to read the Author's Note for a complete list of warnings! HEA guarantee!
Detective Shadow Yor hates his life.
He spends all of his time, day after day, struggling against the demons in his head that tell him he’s a worthless, unlovable person. This doesn’t change when he’s sent on a new assignment with his partner to solve a series of murders. He’s good at his job and will find whoever did it, there’s no doubt there. The only question is whether or not he’ll be able to keep himself together, or if his empathic abilities will finally be the death of him.
Apollo Orobas is bored.
He’s bored of his secret nighttime proclivities and bored of playing the part of charming neighborhood do-gooder. Apollo isn’t good, never has been, but just when he’s starting to think life holds no interest, Shadow Yor stumbles into his sights. It doesn’t take long for him to figure out the detective is also hiding his true self, and suddenly coaxing Shade’s monster out into the light is all Apollo can think of. As obsession sinks its claws in, he decides it’s time for a new game, one Shade is going to play with him. Whether he likes it or not.
Kidnapped and forced to endure whatever twisted plans Apollo has in store, Shade struggles to hold onto his idea of right and wrong, but the more he tries to resist, the more those lines start to blur. What chance does a mere demon have against an actual devil? Especially one who soothes those twisted voices in his head and makes him feel for the first time ever that maybe he isn’t as unlovable as he’s always believed.
Trigger Warning: This is a stand-alone dark romance which means there are many themes that some might find disturbing. Some of these include, but are not limited to, dub-con, violence, a seriously obsessed male lead, a male lead who deals with low self-esteem, and explicit sexual content not suitable for all readers. Please be sure to read the Author's Note for a complete list of warnings! HEA guarantee!
524 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 5, 2023
About the author
Chani Lynn Feener
50 books1,106 followersLibrarians, please don't add books. I stay up to date and add them myself and have ended up with many multiple copies because others add them later. Thank you!
Chani majored in Creative Writing at Johnson State College in Vermont. To pay her bills, she has worked many odd jobs, including, but not limited to, telemarketing, order picking in a warehouse, and filling ink cartridges. When she isn’t writing, she’s binging TV shows, drawing, or frequenting zoos/aquariums. She is the author of the Xenith trilogy, and the teen paranormal series, The Underworld Saga, originally written under the penname Tempest C. Avery. She currently resides in Connecticut.
Have a question? Check her blog! https://chanilynnfeener.wixsite.com/a...
Find her on Instagram @TempestChani
Chani majored in Creative Writing at Johnson State College in Vermont. To pay her bills, she has worked many odd jobs, including, but not limited to, telemarketing, order picking in a warehouse, and filling ink cartridges. When she isn’t writing, she’s binging TV shows, drawing, or frequenting zoos/aquariums. She is the author of the Xenith trilogy, and the teen paranormal series, The Underworld Saga, originally written under the penname Tempest C. Avery. She currently resides in Connecticut.
Have a question? Check her blog! https://chanilynnfeener.wixsite.com/a...
Find her on Instagram @TempestChani
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 521 reviews
August 11, 2023
Reread 08.2023
I just couldn't help it, after "Echo" I had to take another dose of Shadow and Apollo.
First reading:
A masterpiece, but also damn long. A warning, there are a hell of a lot of inner monologues that drag on and come across like a repetitive loop. If you fight through it, you'll love this book. But I fear that Shadow's drawn out inner views and his self-doubt and self-loathing may put many readers off.
But these many inner monologues are not wrong, in fact I think they are necessary. Even if they were annoying at first, I think you can only enjoy and appreciate the transformation of Shadow and Apollo when you have gotten involved with the depths of these characters.
This is my first book by Chani Lynn Feener and I am in love with the author's style and mind.
Shadow and Apollo are twisted minds, without saying too much, I didn't know what to do with either of them at first, but this story gnaws at your mind until you give up and change your heart.
Anyway, please be sure to consider the triggers. This book is brutal, violent and bloody between the MCs, so you can't sugarcoat it.
I love the intensity and the possessiveness.
He’d kissed people before, but it’d never been like this. No one had ever made him feel like his mouth was their favorite meal and they’d gone months starving in the desert. 😳
Nothing had ever set fire to his blood, and when Apollo nipped at him a second time, easily cracking open the wound on his lip that had only just begun to seal, Shade let out a shameless moan he felt rocking all the way to his core. 🤩
“There’s a good chance I’ll end up hurting you without meaning to.”
…
“Don’t worry about that,” Apollo told him, voice dropping to a low whisper, “there’s a great chance I’ll end up hurting you on purpose.” 🖤🖤🖤
I just couldn't help it, after "Echo" I had to take another dose of Shadow and Apollo.
First reading:
A masterpiece, but also damn long. A warning, there are a hell of a lot of inner monologues that drag on and come across like a repetitive loop. If you fight through it, you'll love this book. But I fear that Shadow's drawn out inner views and his self-doubt and self-loathing may put many readers off.
But these many inner monologues are not wrong, in fact I think they are necessary. Even if they were annoying at first, I think you can only enjoy and appreciate the transformation of Shadow and Apollo when you have gotten involved with the depths of these characters.
This is my first book by Chani Lynn Feener and I am in love with the author's style and mind.
Shadow and Apollo are twisted minds, without saying too much, I didn't know what to do with either of them at first, but this story gnaws at your mind until you give up and change your heart.
Anyway, please be sure to consider the triggers. This book is brutal, violent and bloody between the MCs, so you can't sugarcoat it.
I love the intensity and the possessiveness.
He’d kissed people before, but it’d never been like this. No one had ever made him feel like his mouth was their favorite meal and they’d gone months starving in the desert. 😳
Nothing had ever set fire to his blood, and when Apollo nipped at him a second time, easily cracking open the wound on his lip that had only just begun to seal, Shade let out a shameless moan he felt rocking all the way to his core. 🤩
“There’s a good chance I’ll end up hurting you without meaning to.”
…
“Don’t worry about that,” Apollo told him, voice dropping to a low whisper, “there’s a great chance I’ll end up hurting you on purpose.” 🖤🖤🖤
November 30, 2023
Ok, this wasn’t a bad book, just not totally my style. The writing was decent and I liked how we got the inner thoughts of both Shade and Apollo. But the plot slipped away from me a few times and even when I got ahold of it again I still felt like I had pieces that I was missing. However I did like the end of the book so that made up for it a little bit. :)
April 25, 2023
✦ i loved the premise, but the execution was lacking. the relationship development sadly wasn't convincing overall. a couple of noncon orgasms, some affection and care, and the mc had a whole life changing epiphany. wow. magical rapey serial killer cock truly worked wonders.
✦ this needed a couple more editing sessions imo, some inner thoughts and long ass tangents definitely could have been cut shorter. i also noticed a lot of writing errors.
✦ a pretty good read if you enjoy psycho, obsessive, manipulative mcs, noncon, dubcon, captor/captive and fucked up romance books.
✦ the cover art is truly beautiful.
✦ this needed a couple more editing sessions imo, some inner thoughts and long ass tangents definitely could have been cut shorter. i also noticed a lot of writing errors.
✦ a pretty good read if you enjoy psycho, obsessive, manipulative mcs, noncon, dubcon, captor/captive and fucked up romance books.
✦ the cover art is truly beautiful.
September 24, 2023
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”It was impossible to recognize a devil in the dark if you weren’t willing to become a little monstrous yourself.”
Trigger warnings:
This book! Damn! Good lord! I honestly have no idea how to talk about this book. I’ve never read a book that had me feeling so conflicted, yet at the same time I binged it in less than 24 hours and was obsessed with the story and the characters. How is that even possible? I should have hated this book with every fibre of my heart because it wasn’t just totally out of my comfort zone but the sex scenes were also extremely non-consensual. Like really, really non-consensual. And as we all know I’m a sucker for characters being all consensual and listening to what their partners say. I mean AFTG is one of my fave series ever. So this book totally shouldn’t have worked for me, but it kinda did?! I honestly don’t know what that says about me. Might have lost my sanity along with Shade while I read this story. *lol*
I mean I wanted to read something different and totally out of my comfort zone. I wanted to dip my toe in the waters of dark romance and see what all the fuss is about. Well, guess the jokes on me cause I got addicted to this pretty fast and now I’m confusion, a mess and questioning my sanity. Well done, V! You get a sticker for that! *lol* The only explanation I have is that this catered to the darker parts in me? My head knows this was dark, all wrong, f*cked up and toxic af, but it was also so damn good and well crafted! The author’s got some serious writing skills because at the beginning of the book you’re like Shade thinking Apollo is a monster but then Apollo gets into Shade’s head and changes the way he thinks and feels and I think that’s exactly what happened to me too.
Apollo got into my head while I read this story and by the end of it he didn’t seem to be such a monster anymore. Honestly if I ever read a book that deserved the label “mindfuck”, well then it’s this one. I think it doesn’t help that Shade was attracted to Apollo right from the beginning when they first met. So every sexy moment up until 40% of the book is consensual and then Shade gets kidnapped by Apollo and all the sex scenes start out non-consensual until they eventually become consensual again?! Am I making any sense?! As I said, this book gets into your head, digs it’s claws into your brain and leaves you discombobulated and craving for more. It’s kinda alarming?! I repeat, I should not have enjoyed this as much as I did, but turns out my brain is a sucker for mind games and boy, did we get plenty of those in here. Okay, I think I’ll let myself out now. But not before going into a detailed character analysis because those characters deserve it! So buckle up and let’s do this!
”You’re all I need,” he repeated, holding Shade’s gaze hostage as he added, “and I’m all you need too.”
The characters:
You’re now entering the orbit of our planet and we’re happy to see you! Please be aware that we’ve had a series of gruesome murders recently and the killer is still on the loose. You might be killed or even worse, you could get spoiled senseless! ;-P This was a fair warning! You might proceed at your convenience.
Shadow Yor:
”Trauma-induced PTSD had left him a bit … unstable, as his doctors liked to put it. The end result was a constant influx of other people’s feelings that left him discombobulated at the best of times, and barely functioning at the worst. Hence, the blockers.
There are way too many good quotes to describe Shade’s character so it’s really hard to pick just a few of them. What it comes down to is that Shade is my poor broken boy. I really felt for him because his entire life was a struggle and his powers always caused him pain. There wasn’t a single minute he didn’t feel overwhelmed or like shit and this made it extremely hard not to fall into Apollo’s greedy clutches. More often than not his own abilities turned against him and once he was in Apollo’s secret lair there was no hope to escape. Add to that his low self-esteem and the fact that all he ever wanted was to be loved and cherished and you can see why it was so easy for Apollo to manipulate him. He didn’t stand a chance. But the fascinating thing about Shade was, that he was fully aware of what Apollo was doing. He knew he had Stockholm’s syndrome and that he was being manipulated and conditioned. That Apollo wanted to break him and get into his head, yet he still couldn’t stop it from happening. Shade was a good detective and an expert at his job, but he never believed in himself and Apollo used that against him. Talk about mind games. I hated Apollo for what he did to Shade, I raged and was angry on his behalf, I wanted to throw my e-reader away, I wanted to save Shade and get him out of there. But I also saw the change in Shade, how accepting his darker parts and his inner demons helped him to come to terms with who he was and what he truly wanted. Apollo’s methods were extremely questionable and wrong, but they ignited something in Shade and kinda coaxed out his potential? In some way he forced him to be more self-aware and self-assured and this while he abused him. It’s so f*cked up. Seriously, but it worked somehow and Shade came out a stronger person in the end. I really liked that he didn’t take any shit anymore and decided to do what HE wanted. Damn… it boggles the mind, but I actually ended up loving Shade’s character arc. Still, his confusion and refusal to accept his situation, his inner fight, self-hatred and anger at himself for allowing Apollo to get to him and to make him want him. It was masterly done. Chani Lynn Feener get’s an A+ for psychological mind games.
”Because Apollo had a knack for making him feel cherished and wanted even as he was abusing his poor ass and tightening the chains. With each passing day, Shade felt more and more comfortable with the idea of this being his future and he couldn’t allow that to happen.
He couldn’t want it.”
”Shade needed to get the fuck out of here.
This line of thinking was dangerous, telling. Had he always secretly been this weak? This pliable? Had the potential to roll over and become someone’s bitch always been in him, or was that something Apollo was etching into his soul bit by bit?
”Good Light. What kind of person could look at the man who had done those brutal things to him and call him an invader in his head instead of what he really was?
Shade hadn’t wanted it.
Until he did.
But he hadn’t at first, and that’s what counted, right? … Right?
”Getting kind of bossy, Shadow mine.”
“You don’t get to pick and choose,” he said. “You either take me as I am, or we go back to me fighting you every step of the way. I’m not a slave, Apollo, not even yours, and I refuse to be one.”
Apollo Orobas:
”He’d gone to catch a glimpse of the I.P.F. agents in charge so he’d know what he was dealing with and whether or not he should put his latest hunt on hold. Locking gazes with the detective hadn’t been on the agenda.
Being unable to get the other man off his mind definitely hadn’t been.”
Oh boy! Honestly if you ever capture the interest of a man like Apollo: RUN!!! Run for your life and never look back because if this man ever gets a hold of you, you’ll pay for it. And pay for it Shade did. Apollo is a psychopath and has no empathy whatsoever. Did he know that what he did to Shade was wrong and that taking him against his will would antagonize him and break him. Yes! Did it stop him from taking what he thought was his to take? Nope, not a second. Apollo had absolutely no qualms to abuse and rape Shade because Shade was what he wanted and what he wanted, he took. Period. There was no regard for how Shadow felt about being kidnapped by a person he only had just begun to fall for, no remorse about putting him through the wringer and conditioning him to his every whim. None. Well, at least not until Shade’s presence did something unexpected to him and Apollo actually started to care for him as well. The change started slowly, but it happened. For the first time ever Apollo was faced with the consequences of what he did to people because for once one of his captives actually survived and forced him to think about what he was doing. He made sure Shade needed him and during that process, he was forced to acknowledge that he had started to need him too. HA! This was such a brilliant move! I’m in awe of how the author pulled this off and how the reader could witness this change first hand. The lines definitely became more and more blurry as the book progressed and I enjoyed seeing Apollo squirm and second-guessing his actions; questioning his methods and how he hurt and mistreated Shade. How his constant abuse and rape would affect the person he loved. The way he eventually realized that he might be the monster Shade had nightmares about… done so damn well! Stroke of genius!
”You’re the first person I didn’t want to leave physically broken. The first person I’ve ever wanted to take care of.”
”Was he having a bad dream?
Was it about him?
Apollo didn’t like that. He’d won Shade over as the friendly neighbourhood reporter, so he’d always known there was a strong chance the detective would recoil the second he was made aware that was all an act. Hell, that’s exactly what he’d expected. What he’d wanted. It hadn’t bothered him before. It did now.
”Do you think it’s easy for me? I’m not used to these emotions either. I’m not used to feeling desperate. Before you, the only thing I even came close to being obsessed with was the urge to see inside people. But I don’t just want you, baby, I want to own you. I want you wrapped around my finger, purring my name even in your sleep, I’m a devil with a weakness now, don’t you see how complicated that is? You aren’t the only one here having an identity crisis.”
The relationships and ships:
Shade & Apollo:
”I never said that. You can’t read me, and I told you I’d noticed.”
“Wait...” Shade’s stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Can you read me?”
“Like an open book, baby. Why?” This time when he tilted his head, there was an edge to the movement. “Got something you want to hide from me?” Was it just him, or had it suddenly gotten tense between them?
Now those two were amazing in the first 40% of the book! Their cat and mouse game had me at the edge of my seat and I loved the tension between them. The interesting thing is that Apollo let Shadow see parts of his true self and that they didn’t cause Shadow to retreat. I think Shadow was at least as intrigued by Apollo as Apollo was by him. Otherwise, the scene on the rooftop would have never happened. And what a glorious scene it was! Hot damn! I loved how Apollo was teasing Shade and telling him the truth without telling him the truth. It was a constant push and pull and Apollo did his best to draw Shade out. I could have read about 300 pages more of that and it wouldn’t have gotten boring. But then the kidnapping happened and wow, that was an entirely new level of power games. From that moment on Apollo was in full control and Shade had to endure his every whim and was at his mercy. That shift was quite hard to take and I felt so damn sorry for Shade. I wanted to protect that poor broken boy and at times it felt like Apollo was kicking a man who was already on the ground. As I said before, Apollo never questioned his actions and decisions though and at first he was convinced Shade would never leave his place alive and therefore allowed himself to take whatever he craved. Which unfortunately was Shade’s body and soul. Of course, Shade fought back tooth and nail at first and tried his best not give in to his mind games. That dynamic. Not gonna lie, it was cruel to read and I winced whenever Apollo hurt my boy. I was nauseated, angry and disgusted on Shade’s behalf and I have no idea when the shift happened but there was a point when Shade started to give into Apollo’s advances. When he found some weird sort of happiness spending time with him and as a reader you could feel it too. Damn, this book really plays with your mind and even after almost two months it still has its claws in my brain. Uff. Anyway, Apollo was changed by Shade too and he suddenly had someone he cared about, someone he loved. I think in some way Shadow became Apollo’s conscience and Apollo became Shade’s self-confidence. Those two balanced each other out. It was a give and take at the end and they turned into a beautiful shade of gray. I never thought I’d ship them but here I am, fully on board of this messed up and toxic ship that turned out to be weirdly healthy for both of them. *lol* I’m so confused! Someone please explain to me how the author did that?!
Apollo chuckled behind him. “Picked up on that did you? Oops. What are the chances you’re in the right state of mind right now to remember that when we’re done?”
“Slim,” he answered honestly. “What are we even talking about?”
“Wow, poor thing. You really haven’t been touched in a while, huh?”
Apollo trailed his fingers down the curve of Shade’s jaw down to his chin, gripping him tight between two fingers and forcing him to tip his head back against the wall. The move brought his mouth up, closer to his, and his breath ghosted against his lips. “So set on hiding behind your bravado. But that’s okay. I’ll strip you of that too. I’ll pick you apart and leave you bare until all you have left is me to keep you warm. Until you can’t recall which pieces were yours initially and which ones I sewed into your psyche. I’m going to leave traces of me everywhere, baby. You wanted to be wanted?” He brushed his mouth feather-light against his. “Careful what you wish for.”
”You’re going to be mine until we’re both old and gray and then even after that. When we die, I’ll find you in the next life. I’ll hunt you down and make you mine all over again, baby. I’ll never let you go. You’ll always have me. You’ll always be my perfect little Shadow.”
”My feelings for you are real. I promised to take you apart, but I didn’t realize until it was too late that you were doing the same to me. I can’t live without you, Shadow…”
Shade & Gael:
”Everybody needs a break from the voices in their head, S. You deserve that, same as anybody else. You were dealt a shit hand, okay? But you’ve done everything in your power to make your life your own. You’ve accomplished things Chitta who don’t have the same skill level as you couldn’t dream of. That means something. You mean something.”
I can’t end this review without talking about precious Gael because this man was amazing! He always supported Shade and had his back. Even when Shade couldn’t see it and didn’t believe in himself or their friendship, Gael was right there by his side. My heart hurt so much for him when Shade pointed his gun at him. Damn, the betrayal was real! I felt Gael’s confusion in my bones. Also: Friends like Gael are the ones you should keep! This man knew exactly who Apollo was but he trusted Shade enough to make his own decisions and to know what was good for him. #friendshipgoals Some part of me kinda wishes we would have gotten even more of their interactions and that Gael will find someone amazing too. I don’t think there will be a second book, though so I’ll be happy with the little I got. <3
”I can’t. I can’t pretend to understand what you see in this guy. I’m still torn over if I should try and stop you from leaving with him or not. But … if there’s anyone in this universe who knows what you’ve been through, Shade, it’s me. You’ve been different this past week, but it hasn’t all been in bad ways. I don’t want you going back to that, to the pain and the suffering form before. So, if staying with him is what will help keep you from that darkness, I don’t need to understand everything, I just need to know that.”
Conclusion:
From a psychological POV this book was amazing and I really loved all the mind games and interactions. My inner psychologist had a field day exploring the darkness and depraved parts of Shade’s and Apollo’s minds and it was fascinating to see how they changed once they collided. Still, this book has a very long list of trigger warnings and considering the fact that most of the people who read my reviews are sweet beans I just can’t recommend this book to you. It’s dark af! So, so, so dark and heavy. Definitely not for the faint-hearted. I said it once and I’ll say it again: I’m still questioning my sanity and life choices after reading this book because this was wrong. This was dark. It was twisted. It was good and I still don’t know where that leaves me. Maybe I don’t need to know, maybe I just need to make peace with the fact that despite everything I liked it. And maybe, for once, that’s actually enough.
_________________________________
Sooo… I decided to read a book that is totally out of my comfort zone
because every once in a while
- You just gotta read a book that features a serial killer who falls in love with the detective who is trying to solve his murders?
- You want to read about completely morally black characters?
- You need to read a book that has a list of trigger warnings that is as long as some people’s grocery list?
Normal, right?
Nope?
Just me then.
Okay, I got no excuse for reading this except of my curiosity. I’m just curious and want to know what the fuss is about. There, I admitted it. ;-) The reviews on IG made me pick it up.
Let’s see if I can read this. I survived AFTG, how hard can it be?! (They said not knowing what would await them. *lol*)
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”It was impossible to recognize a devil in the dark if you weren’t willing to become a little monstrous yourself.”
Trigger warnings:
This book! Damn! Good lord! I honestly have no idea how to talk about this book. I’ve never read a book that had me feeling so conflicted, yet at the same time I binged it in less than 24 hours and was obsessed with the story and the characters. How is that even possible? I should have hated this book with every fibre of my heart because it wasn’t just totally out of my comfort zone but the sex scenes were also extremely non-consensual. Like really, really non-consensual. And as we all know I’m a sucker for characters being all consensual and listening to what their partners say. I mean AFTG is one of my fave series ever. So this book totally shouldn’t have worked for me, but it kinda did?! I honestly don’t know what that says about me. Might have lost my sanity along with Shade while I read this story. *lol*
I mean I wanted to read something different and totally out of my comfort zone. I wanted to dip my toe in the waters of dark romance and see what all the fuss is about. Well, guess the jokes on me cause I got addicted to this pretty fast and now I’m confusion, a mess and questioning my sanity. Well done, V! You get a sticker for that! *lol* The only explanation I have is that this catered to the darker parts in me? My head knows this was dark, all wrong, f*cked up and toxic af, but it was also so damn good and well crafted! The author’s got some serious writing skills because at the beginning of the book you’re like Shade thinking Apollo is a monster but then Apollo gets into Shade’s head and changes the way he thinks and feels and I think that’s exactly what happened to me too.
Apollo got into my head while I read this story and by the end of it he didn’t seem to be such a monster anymore. Honestly if I ever read a book that deserved the label “mindfuck”, well then it’s this one. I think it doesn’t help that Shade was attracted to Apollo right from the beginning when they first met. So every sexy moment up until 40% of the book is consensual and then Shade gets kidnapped by Apollo and all the sex scenes start out non-consensual until they eventually become consensual again?! Am I making any sense?! As I said, this book gets into your head, digs it’s claws into your brain and leaves you discombobulated and craving for more. It’s kinda alarming?! I repeat, I should not have enjoyed this as much as I did, but turns out my brain is a sucker for mind games and boy, did we get plenty of those in here. Okay, I think I’ll let myself out now. But not before going into a detailed character analysis because those characters deserve it! So buckle up and let’s do this!
”You’re all I need,” he repeated, holding Shade’s gaze hostage as he added, “and I’m all you need too.”
The characters:
You’re now entering the orbit of our planet and we’re happy to see you! Please be aware that we’ve had a series of gruesome murders recently and the killer is still on the loose. You might be killed or even worse, you could get spoiled senseless! ;-P This was a fair warning! You might proceed at your convenience.
Shadow Yor:
”Trauma-induced PTSD had left him a bit … unstable, as his doctors liked to put it. The end result was a constant influx of other people’s feelings that left him discombobulated at the best of times, and barely functioning at the worst. Hence, the blockers.
There are way too many good quotes to describe Shade’s character so it’s really hard to pick just a few of them. What it comes down to is that Shade is my poor broken boy. I really felt for him because his entire life was a struggle and his powers always caused him pain. There wasn’t a single minute he didn’t feel overwhelmed or like shit and this made it extremely hard not to fall into Apollo’s greedy clutches. More often than not his own abilities turned against him and once he was in Apollo’s secret lair there was no hope to escape. Add to that his low self-esteem and the fact that all he ever wanted was to be loved and cherished and you can see why it was so easy for Apollo to manipulate him. He didn’t stand a chance. But the fascinating thing about Shade was, that he was fully aware of what Apollo was doing. He knew he had Stockholm’s syndrome and that he was being manipulated and conditioned. That Apollo wanted to break him and get into his head, yet he still couldn’t stop it from happening. Shade was a good detective and an expert at his job, but he never believed in himself and Apollo used that against him. Talk about mind games. I hated Apollo for what he did to Shade, I raged and was angry on his behalf, I wanted to throw my e-reader away, I wanted to save Shade and get him out of there. But I also saw the change in Shade, how accepting his darker parts and his inner demons helped him to come to terms with who he was and what he truly wanted. Apollo’s methods were extremely questionable and wrong, but they ignited something in Shade and kinda coaxed out his potential? In some way he forced him to be more self-aware and self-assured and this while he abused him. It’s so f*cked up. Seriously, but it worked somehow and Shade came out a stronger person in the end. I really liked that he didn’t take any shit anymore and decided to do what HE wanted. Damn… it boggles the mind, but I actually ended up loving Shade’s character arc. Still, his confusion and refusal to accept his situation, his inner fight, self-hatred and anger at himself for allowing Apollo to get to him and to make him want him. It was masterly done. Chani Lynn Feener get’s an A+ for psychological mind games.
”Because Apollo had a knack for making him feel cherished and wanted even as he was abusing his poor ass and tightening the chains. With each passing day, Shade felt more and more comfortable with the idea of this being his future and he couldn’t allow that to happen.
He couldn’t want it.”
”Shade needed to get the fuck out of here.
This line of thinking was dangerous, telling. Had he always secretly been this weak? This pliable? Had the potential to roll over and become someone’s bitch always been in him, or was that something Apollo was etching into his soul bit by bit?
”Good Light. What kind of person could look at the man who had done those brutal things to him and call him an invader in his head instead of what he really was?
Shade hadn’t wanted it.
Until he did.
But he hadn’t at first, and that’s what counted, right? … Right?
”Getting kind of bossy, Shadow mine.”
“You don’t get to pick and choose,” he said. “You either take me as I am, or we go back to me fighting you every step of the way. I’m not a slave, Apollo, not even yours, and I refuse to be one.”
Apollo Orobas:
”He’d gone to catch a glimpse of the I.P.F. agents in charge so he’d know what he was dealing with and whether or not he should put his latest hunt on hold. Locking gazes with the detective hadn’t been on the agenda.
Being unable to get the other man off his mind definitely hadn’t been.”
Oh boy! Honestly if you ever capture the interest of a man like Apollo: RUN!!! Run for your life and never look back because if this man ever gets a hold of you, you’ll pay for it. And pay for it Shade did. Apollo is a psychopath and has no empathy whatsoever. Did he know that what he did to Shade was wrong and that taking him against his will would antagonize him and break him. Yes! Did it stop him from taking what he thought was his to take? Nope, not a second. Apollo had absolutely no qualms to abuse and rape Shade because Shade was what he wanted and what he wanted, he took. Period. There was no regard for how Shadow felt about being kidnapped by a person he only had just begun to fall for, no remorse about putting him through the wringer and conditioning him to his every whim. None. Well, at least not until Shade’s presence did something unexpected to him and Apollo actually started to care for him as well. The change started slowly, but it happened. For the first time ever Apollo was faced with the consequences of what he did to people because for once one of his captives actually survived and forced him to think about what he was doing. He made sure Shade needed him and during that process, he was forced to acknowledge that he had started to need him too. HA! This was such a brilliant move! I’m in awe of how the author pulled this off and how the reader could witness this change first hand. The lines definitely became more and more blurry as the book progressed and I enjoyed seeing Apollo squirm and second-guessing his actions; questioning his methods and how he hurt and mistreated Shade. How his constant abuse and rape would affect the person he loved. The way he eventually realized that he might be the monster Shade had nightmares about… done so damn well! Stroke of genius!
”You’re the first person I didn’t want to leave physically broken. The first person I’ve ever wanted to take care of.”
”Was he having a bad dream?
Was it about him?
Apollo didn’t like that. He’d won Shade over as the friendly neighbourhood reporter, so he’d always known there was a strong chance the detective would recoil the second he was made aware that was all an act. Hell, that’s exactly what he’d expected. What he’d wanted. It hadn’t bothered him before. It did now.
”Do you think it’s easy for me? I’m not used to these emotions either. I’m not used to feeling desperate. Before you, the only thing I even came close to being obsessed with was the urge to see inside people. But I don’t just want you, baby, I want to own you. I want you wrapped around my finger, purring my name even in your sleep, I’m a devil with a weakness now, don’t you see how complicated that is? You aren’t the only one here having an identity crisis.”
The relationships and ships:
Shade & Apollo:
”I never said that. You can’t read me, and I told you I’d noticed.”
“Wait...” Shade’s stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Can you read me?”
“Like an open book, baby. Why?” This time when he tilted his head, there was an edge to the movement. “Got something you want to hide from me?” Was it just him, or had it suddenly gotten tense between them?
Now those two were amazing in the first 40% of the book! Their cat and mouse game had me at the edge of my seat and I loved the tension between them. The interesting thing is that Apollo let Shadow see parts of his true self and that they didn’t cause Shadow to retreat. I think Shadow was at least as intrigued by Apollo as Apollo was by him. Otherwise, the scene on the rooftop would have never happened. And what a glorious scene it was! Hot damn! I loved how Apollo was teasing Shade and telling him the truth without telling him the truth. It was a constant push and pull and Apollo did his best to draw Shade out. I could have read about 300 pages more of that and it wouldn’t have gotten boring. But then the kidnapping happened and wow, that was an entirely new level of power games. From that moment on Apollo was in full control and Shade had to endure his every whim and was at his mercy. That shift was quite hard to take and I felt so damn sorry for Shade. I wanted to protect that poor broken boy and at times it felt like Apollo was kicking a man who was already on the ground. As I said before, Apollo never questioned his actions and decisions though and at first he was convinced Shade would never leave his place alive and therefore allowed himself to take whatever he craved. Which unfortunately was Shade’s body and soul. Of course, Shade fought back tooth and nail at first and tried his best not give in to his mind games. That dynamic. Not gonna lie, it was cruel to read and I winced whenever Apollo hurt my boy. I was nauseated, angry and disgusted on Shade’s behalf and I have no idea when the shift happened but there was a point when Shade started to give into Apollo’s advances. When he found some weird sort of happiness spending time with him and as a reader you could feel it too. Damn, this book really plays with your mind and even after almost two months it still has its claws in my brain. Uff. Anyway, Apollo was changed by Shade too and he suddenly had someone he cared about, someone he loved. I think in some way Shadow became Apollo’s conscience and Apollo became Shade’s self-confidence. Those two balanced each other out. It was a give and take at the end and they turned into a beautiful shade of gray. I never thought I’d ship them but here I am, fully on board of this messed up and toxic ship that turned out to be weirdly healthy for both of them. *lol* I’m so confused! Someone please explain to me how the author did that?!
Apollo chuckled behind him. “Picked up on that did you? Oops. What are the chances you’re in the right state of mind right now to remember that when we’re done?”
“Slim,” he answered honestly. “What are we even talking about?”
“Wow, poor thing. You really haven’t been touched in a while, huh?”
Apollo trailed his fingers down the curve of Shade’s jaw down to his chin, gripping him tight between two fingers and forcing him to tip his head back against the wall. The move brought his mouth up, closer to his, and his breath ghosted against his lips. “So set on hiding behind your bravado. But that’s okay. I’ll strip you of that too. I’ll pick you apart and leave you bare until all you have left is me to keep you warm. Until you can’t recall which pieces were yours initially and which ones I sewed into your psyche. I’m going to leave traces of me everywhere, baby. You wanted to be wanted?” He brushed his mouth feather-light against his. “Careful what you wish for.”
”You’re going to be mine until we’re both old and gray and then even after that. When we die, I’ll find you in the next life. I’ll hunt you down and make you mine all over again, baby. I’ll never let you go. You’ll always have me. You’ll always be my perfect little Shadow.”
”My feelings for you are real. I promised to take you apart, but I didn’t realize until it was too late that you were doing the same to me. I can’t live without you, Shadow…”
Shade & Gael:
”Everybody needs a break from the voices in their head, S. You deserve that, same as anybody else. You were dealt a shit hand, okay? But you’ve done everything in your power to make your life your own. You’ve accomplished things Chitta who don’t have the same skill level as you couldn’t dream of. That means something. You mean something.”
I can’t end this review without talking about precious Gael because this man was amazing! He always supported Shade and had his back. Even when Shade couldn’t see it and didn’t believe in himself or their friendship, Gael was right there by his side. My heart hurt so much for him when Shade pointed his gun at him. Damn, the betrayal was real! I felt Gael’s confusion in my bones. Also: Friends like Gael are the ones you should keep! This man knew exactly who Apollo was but he trusted Shade enough to make his own decisions and to know what was good for him. #friendshipgoals Some part of me kinda wishes we would have gotten even more of their interactions and that Gael will find someone amazing too. I don’t think there will be a second book, though so I’ll be happy with the little I got. <3
”I can’t. I can’t pretend to understand what you see in this guy. I’m still torn over if I should try and stop you from leaving with him or not. But … if there’s anyone in this universe who knows what you’ve been through, Shade, it’s me. You’ve been different this past week, but it hasn’t all been in bad ways. I don’t want you going back to that, to the pain and the suffering form before. So, if staying with him is what will help keep you from that darkness, I don’t need to understand everything, I just need to know that.”
Conclusion:
From a psychological POV this book was amazing and I really loved all the mind games and interactions. My inner psychologist had a field day exploring the darkness and depraved parts of Shade’s and Apollo’s minds and it was fascinating to see how they changed once they collided. Still, this book has a very long list of trigger warnings and considering the fact that most of the people who read my reviews are sweet beans I just can’t recommend this book to you. It’s dark af! So, so, so dark and heavy. Definitely not for the faint-hearted. I said it once and I’ll say it again: I’m still questioning my sanity and life choices after reading this book because this was wrong. This was dark. It was twisted. It was good and I still don’t know where that leaves me. Maybe I don’t need to know, maybe I just need to make peace with the fact that despite everything I liked it. And maybe, for once, that’s actually enough.
_________________________________
Sooo… I decided to read a book that is totally out of my comfort zone
because every once in a while
- You just gotta read a book that features a serial killer who falls in love with the detective who is trying to solve his murders?
- You want to read about completely morally black characters?
- You need to read a book that has a list of trigger warnings that is as long as some people’s grocery list?
Normal, right?
Nope?
Just me then.
Okay, I got no excuse for reading this except of my curiosity. I’m just curious and want to know what the fuss is about. There, I admitted it. ;-) The reviews on IG made me pick it up.
Let’s see if I can read this. I survived AFTG, how hard can it be?! (They said not knowing what would await them. *lol*)
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February 29, 2024
This book has a violent chokehold on me and all I can do is beg for it to squeeze tighter.
I am absolutely floored. Shadow Yor, a.k.a. Shade, is an interplanetary detective with a loose hold on his empathic powers and an even weaker hold on his self-deprecating tendencies. Following the meager breadcrumbs left behind in a string of murders has him falling right into the alluring clutches of Apollo - a charming art reporter that just happens to moonlight as a psychopathic serial killer. I am dangerously enamored with flawed characters, so when these two living embodiments of a psychiatrist's wet dream come together? Holy-fucking-shit.
This book feels like a love letter to every sick, depraved, and filthy hidden desire I've ever had and I'm not afraid to admit it. What can I say, I like my romances how I like my coffee - dark, bitter, and strong enough to get my blood pumping. And this is just to my taste; there's a perfect balance of darkness and sweetness in this story. But listen, this is not traditional sweetness. It's not gentle touches and honeyed words; it's a white-knuckled grip - possessive and manipulative and fucked up. If that's not your jam, move right along. If it is: hi, let's be friends.
This is the second book I've read by Chani Lynn Feener (the first was also amazing) and after this delectable masterpiece, it most certainly will not be the last. I have been unquestionably conditioned - if Chani is ringing the bell, you better believe that I am salivating on command.
Thank you to BookSirens for the advanced readers copy. All thoughts are my own.
I am absolutely floored. Shadow Yor, a.k.a. Shade, is an interplanetary detective with a loose hold on his empathic powers and an even weaker hold on his self-deprecating tendencies. Following the meager breadcrumbs left behind in a string of murders has him falling right into the alluring clutches of Apollo - a charming art reporter that just happens to moonlight as a psychopathic serial killer. I am dangerously enamored with flawed characters, so when these two living embodiments of a psychiatrist's wet dream come together? Holy-fucking-shit.
This book feels like a love letter to every sick, depraved, and filthy hidden desire I've ever had and I'm not afraid to admit it. What can I say, I like my romances how I like my coffee - dark, bitter, and strong enough to get my blood pumping. And this is just to my taste; there's a perfect balance of darkness and sweetness in this story. But listen, this is not traditional sweetness. It's not gentle touches and honeyed words; it's a white-knuckled grip - possessive and manipulative and fucked up. If that's not your jam, move right along. If it is: hi, let's be friends.
This is the second book I've read by Chani Lynn Feener (the first was also amazing) and after this delectable masterpiece, it most certainly will not be the last. I have been unquestionably conditioned - if Chani is ringing the bell, you better believe that I am salivating on command.
Thank you to BookSirens for the advanced readers copy. All thoughts are my own.
October 21, 2023
MM Romance
Dark Fuckery
1 Star ⭐️
The only thing I truly liked about this book was the cover… 🥱💤 BUT I’ll elaborate since I appear to be in the minority…
I knew what to expect going into this book so none of the non-con rapey scenes are why I’m rating this so low. Had this book been 150 pages shorter without all the endless, boring AF inner monologues from Shadow, then I might have given it 2.5-3 stars but having to read almost 450 pages of his self-hatred, despair and loneliness was torture. I love broken characters but this was just so damn repetitive that I kept falling asleep and the spelling and grammar errors were hard to overlook after a while. This book was amazing for my insomnia because I could barely make it 5 pages without my eyes sliding closed. It took me 6 days to read this book and I seriously considered DNFing it but because all my friends love this book I thought it might pick up and I’d enjoy it like I did at the start. Negative. I enjoyed Apollo in the beginning and his sociopathic ways but I felt the first part was way too drawn out and I wished Shadow would get kidnapped already 😂😂 Then after the kidnapping, it was back to back to back rape scenes and they were super repetitive. It finally started to get interesting again until Shadow’s depressing inner monologues were cured with Apollo’s cock. As happy as I was to not have to read them anymore, it must have been a magical dick to cure that many years of self hatred and doubt. 🙄🤦🏻♀️
I will admit I liked the last 10% because it was the only time Apollo and Shadow actually felt like they had true chemistry. I just felt like certain choices made this book a chore to read and it was quite disappointing because it was my first book by this author and while I have a lot of her books on my TBR, I’m just a bit ambivalent to try again. 🤷🏻♀️
Dark Fuckery
1 Star ⭐️
The only thing I truly liked about this book was the cover… 🥱💤 BUT I’ll elaborate since I appear to be in the minority…
I knew what to expect going into this book so none of the non-con rapey scenes are why I’m rating this so low. Had this book been 150 pages shorter without all the endless, boring AF inner monologues from Shadow, then I might have given it 2.5-3 stars but having to read almost 450 pages of his self-hatred, despair and loneliness was torture. I love broken characters but this was just so damn repetitive that I kept falling asleep and the spelling and grammar errors were hard to overlook after a while. This book was amazing for my insomnia because I could barely make it 5 pages without my eyes sliding closed. It took me 6 days to read this book and I seriously considered DNFing it but because all my friends love this book I thought it might pick up and I’d enjoy it like I did at the start. Negative. I enjoyed Apollo in the beginning and his sociopathic ways but I felt the first part was way too drawn out and I wished Shadow would get kidnapped already 😂😂 Then after the kidnapping, it was back to back to back rape scenes and they were super repetitive. It finally started to get interesting again until Shadow’s depressing inner monologues were cured with Apollo’s cock. As happy as I was to not have to read them anymore, it must have been a magical dick to cure that many years of self hatred and doubt. 🙄🤦🏻♀️
I will admit I liked the last 10% because it was the only time Apollo and Shadow actually felt like they had true chemistry. I just felt like certain choices made this book a chore to read and it was quite disappointing because it was my first book by this author and while I have a lot of her books on my TBR, I’m just a bit ambivalent to try again. 🤷🏻♀️
January 1, 2024
First of all this cover is absolute beauty and it gets a star just for that! So yeah, this story was really intense and pretty fucked up NGL! It felt like a lengthy 500+ pages, but the last quarter zoomed by and I enjoyed the ending a lot! I'm all about murder-husbands and vigilante justice, so I was totally down with Apollo's "proclivities" lol🤭 BUT a lot of this was pretty brutal to read and made me cringe haaaard! It's on brand for Chani and I knew what I was getting myself into, but fuckin ouch, man fr 😦
Regardless, I love this wild world Chani's created and I'm definitely finding all of it fascinating and exciting! So another CLF title under my belt, but I'm still searching for THE ONE. Very happy that there's lots more backlist to explore, and looking forward to everything else still to come!
Regardless, I love this wild world Chani's created and I'm definitely finding all of it fascinating and exciting! So another CLF title under my belt, but I'm still searching for THE ONE. Very happy that there's lots more backlist to explore, and looking forward to everything else still to come!
May 30, 2024
DNF. Wow. No. The writing...no.
March 7, 2024
buckle in because i have opinions
So my initial rating was three stars, but after careful reflection this book did not deserve such a generous rating.
Between the Devil and The Sea has an interesting synopsis; enticing readers with the promise of a dangerous, exciting, and dark relationship between Apollo and Shadow. Alas, the actual content of the book is far from alluring.
Feener did zero world-building. I mean there was vague mentions of other planets and galaxies but she could have forgone the subtle mentions and had achieved the same garbage.
Also both protagonist's were poorly written; they both suffered from abusive childhoods that were, once again, vaguely and shortly discussed—I could almost tell that Feener wanted to possibly add more substance to their stories but failed miserably when it came right down to it.
This book was NOT about solving, chasing, or catching a murderer, despite what the synopsis may lead you to believe. There was no build-up, no climax, no PLOT.
Feener warns readers with numerous trigger warnings at the beginning of the novel, promising a sexy and interesting sexual relationship between apollo and shadow but what we got was simply a long continuous scene of rape.
I am not hard-pressed to admit i love to read taboo—the darker the better. I don't stray from things like rape, cnc, kidnapping, murder,,,hell I was in the Hannibal fandom for three years and happily read about manipulation, torture, and cannibalism. But Feener wrote this relationship and it's sexual content so poorly, that my eyes hurt from rolling them so much. Apollo promised to "break" Shadow, to take apart his mind and body in order to "heal" him. The only thing that happened was sexual assault. I cannot emphasize enough that there really wasn't anything concrete, appealing, or substantial to this book.
To add insult to injury, the amount of grammatical errors had me nearly tossing my phone across the room. How could such poor writing, first be published, and second be highly rated?
I will never, ever, dare read another word written by this author. it sucks.
So my initial rating was three stars, but after careful reflection this book did not deserve such a generous rating.
Between the Devil and The Sea has an interesting synopsis; enticing readers with the promise of a dangerous, exciting, and dark relationship between Apollo and Shadow. Alas, the actual content of the book is far from alluring.
Feener did zero world-building. I mean there was vague mentions of other planets and galaxies but she could have forgone the subtle mentions and had achieved the same garbage.
Also both protagonist's were poorly written; they both suffered from abusive childhoods that were, once again, vaguely and shortly discussed—I could almost tell that Feener wanted to possibly add more substance to their stories but failed miserably when it came right down to it.
This book was NOT about solving, chasing, or catching a murderer, despite what the synopsis may lead you to believe. There was no build-up, no climax, no PLOT.
Feener warns readers with numerous trigger warnings at the beginning of the novel, promising a sexy and interesting sexual relationship between apollo and shadow but what we got was simply a long continuous scene of rape.
I am not hard-pressed to admit i love to read taboo—the darker the better. I don't stray from things like rape, cnc, kidnapping, murder,,,hell I was in the Hannibal fandom for three years and happily read about manipulation, torture, and cannibalism. But Feener wrote this relationship and it's sexual content so poorly, that my eyes hurt from rolling them so much. Apollo promised to "break" Shadow, to take apart his mind and body in order to "heal" him. The only thing that happened was sexual assault. I cannot emphasize enough that there really wasn't anything concrete, appealing, or substantial to this book.
To add insult to injury, the amount of grammatical errors had me nearly tossing my phone across the room. How could such poor writing, first be published, and second be highly rated?
I will never, ever, dare read another word written by this author. it sucks.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 26, 2024
3.5 stars⭐️
shadow and apollo’s connection and the way they fit together wasn’t as strong for me as chani’s other books…..it was missing some crucial nonsexual development. a partial save occurred at 96% finding out there’s actually a reason they stabilized each other and apollo didn’t magically cure him with his cock or his deranged antics💀 but i still wasn’t able to fully buy what they were selling…..i understand exactly why they should be perfect for each other on paper, but their chemistry was lacking. speaking of lacking….the storyline…..took forever to get to the kidnapping part, and once that happened, it was pretty one-note the whole time they were stuck in that warehouse. coerce, manipulate, rinse, repeat. so even tho i just finished the book, nothing’s really sticking with me or standing out as i think back on it except for shadow and apollo fucking in a pool of blood from a fresh kill💀💀💀 LMFAO that was a scene!!!! lord help me, i almost flatlined bc i thought apollo was gonna use the corpse’s blood as lube💀💀💀 missed opportunity to spice it up, really🙄 i jest, i jest🤣🤣
also, i’ve never met a chani book that isn’t RIDDLED with spelling errors…..like the author has never met a homophone she couldn’t mix up😭 accept instead of except, seen instead of scene….i don’t think i’ve commented on it before, but now i HAVE to bc i’ve read like 4 chani books this month, and there’s just no way🥴 they ALL have issues
anyway, personally, if you want a really dark mm book starring a psychopath main character with a penchant for brutal non con, i think chani’s call of the sea is better done overall.
shadow and apollo’s connection and the way they fit together wasn’t as strong for me as chani’s other books…..it was missing some crucial nonsexual development. a partial save occurred at 96% finding out there’s actually a reason they stabilized each other and apollo didn’t magically cure him with his cock or his deranged antics💀 but i still wasn’t able to fully buy what they were selling…..i understand exactly why they should be perfect for each other on paper, but their chemistry was lacking. speaking of lacking….the storyline…..took forever to get to the kidnapping part, and once that happened, it was pretty one-note the whole time they were stuck in that warehouse. coerce, manipulate, rinse, repeat. so even tho i just finished the book, nothing’s really sticking with me or standing out as i think back on it except for shadow and apollo fucking in a pool of blood from a fresh kill💀💀💀 LMFAO that was a scene!!!! lord help me, i almost flatlined bc i thought apollo was gonna use the corpse’s blood as lube💀💀💀 missed opportunity to spice it up, really🙄 i jest, i jest🤣🤣
also, i’ve never met a chani book that isn’t RIDDLED with spelling errors…..like the author has never met a homophone she couldn’t mix up😭 accept instead of except, seen instead of scene….i don’t think i’ve commented on it before, but now i HAVE to bc i’ve read like 4 chani books this month, and there’s just no way🥴 they ALL have issues
anyway, personally, if you want a really dark mm book starring a psychopath main character with a penchant for brutal non con, i think chani’s call of the sea is better done overall.
June 12, 2023
What tha hell was that???? Well it was damn incredible, that’s what it was!!!
This started with that cover because it pure perfection 🤌 beautiful!
I will totally ignore all I didn’t like for now, because this twisted, toxic, sick, possessive, obsessive love story was (insert proper word because I can’t find one right now).
Please please read the TW ( non con, dub con, manipulative bastard, abused and toxic relationship to name a few) because definitely this book isn’t for everyone, the fact that I like it kind of scares me, but I will analyze that in a therapy session in the future! At some point I truly thought of dnf because it indeed was a lot…
I’ve never read such a fucked up relationship ever! Shadow and Apollo… a detective and a reporter/(slash pun intended) serial killer… both have a special hability to read other emotions, fall in love, works their traumas together thought some questionable methods, like kidnapping, rough ( rough is actually a incorrect word to describe) bloody, unlubed sex! They find their path, become dependent on each other, tethered and HEA!
What I missed terribly was the lack of world building, because this was a sci fi romance but the only reference was that planet or that planet, no detail,of nothing and their life was pretty similar to our old earth living. Would totally trade those inner dialogues on loop for some juice alien, ships, mad landscapes shenanigans.
I love books that end with a couple of bad guys together because bad people also deserve a happy ending 🖤🥹
This started with that cover because it pure perfection 🤌 beautiful!
I will totally ignore all I didn’t like for now, because this twisted, toxic, sick, possessive, obsessive love story was (insert proper word because I can’t find one right now).
Please please read the TW ( non con, dub con, manipulative bastard, abused and toxic relationship to name a few) because definitely this book isn’t for everyone, the fact that I like it kind of scares me, but I will analyze that in a therapy session in the future! At some point I truly thought of dnf because it indeed was a lot…
I’ve never read such a fucked up relationship ever! Shadow and Apollo… a detective and a reporter/(slash pun intended) serial killer… both have a special hability to read other emotions, fall in love, works their traumas together thought some questionable methods, like kidnapping, rough ( rough is actually a incorrect word to describe) bloody, unlubed sex! They find their path, become dependent on each other, tethered and HEA!
What I missed terribly was the lack of world building, because this was a sci fi romance but the only reference was that planet or that planet, no detail,of nothing and their life was pretty similar to our old earth living. Would totally trade those inner dialogues on loop for some juice alien, ships, mad landscapes shenanigans.
I love books that end with a couple of bad guys together because bad people also deserve a happy ending 🖤🥹
July 14, 2023
A deliciously dark romance, though it had lots of triggers, I enjoyed it so much couldn’t stop turning those pages. Apollo was just hot and complex, and Shade was similar in a way. That ending was so satisfying after everything they went through. Definitely different than what I’ve read before. 5 stars all the way!
April 29, 2024
I'm honestly disturbed. In the best way possible.
July 8, 2023
“From here on out, I’m the master of your fate.
I finished this a day ago and I have finally processed this.
I'm sorry, but is it fucked up if I say: This wasn't THATTTT dark. 😳😳😳😳😳😳
Like, fuck yes. This book is bat shit dark, but I've definitely read darker books (fallocast 🤧). I definitely knew what I was going into when I started this book, thanks to Nark's review of: rapey serial killer. Gotta love that THAT caught my attention.
Anyways, one thing I learned this year?
Psychopaths do it better.
Oh and Apollo scared me, entranced me, literally made me melt because if there ever is one dynamic as fuck character who can go from Rapey Satan to Boyfriend Goals, it's this man.
But you know the part that broke me?
*Spoiler*
The Gael scene at the end !! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 The heartbroken, bewildered and confused reaction of Gael omfgggg. And when shade raised a fucking gun at him, I could legit hear a plate clattering because I was so mad and sad and conflicted. That precious baby deserves everything and I love him so much.
“in the spirit of staying truthful, I hope you fight, tooth and nail. I hope you try to dig those claws of yours into me, Shadow mine, if only so that making you purr will be all that more gratifying.
Anyways. This book is a 4★ but the ending chapters and the epilogue bumps if up to a 4.25★ I was hoping this would be a 5star book because HAVE U SEEN THIS COVER?, and can you believe I DONT HAVE A SINGLE 5 STAR ROMANCE THIS YEAR???
Disgusting, appalled and tragic.
Anyways, I enjoy reading the reviews of this book. You either love it or hate it and I am definitely in the former.
January 13, 2024
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
This was the first dark romance I've read for a very long time and honestly I'm definitely gonna need to pick up more of the genre.
Okay let's put some disclaimers here : This is dark (graphic descriptions of murder, violence and gore) and the relationship between the two mmcs is extremely toxic and build upon abuse (mental,physical and sexual)(the mmc recognizes the sexual assault he endured by the love interest and rightfully calls it rape) and manipulation.
You have been warned.
Now onto the actual review :
Let's start with the world building - I have complicated feelings but I definitely feel like the sci-fi elements of the world were very unnecessary as they are not developed enough, but simply mentioned here and there without details. I genuinely feel like a better option would be for the author to set this in the real world.
When it came to the writing I had problems regarding the repetitiveness (which is the main reason I can't rate this higher) Shadow especially, the mmc keeps going back and forth between having the exact same inner monologue multiple times in the book which made his pov quite frustrating to read at times. I do like how invested the author was in fleshing out the characters, making them complex beings. However if you were to cut down the repetitive parts of the book it would be at least 100 pages shorter.
Other than that I can't really say I have complaints because the characters really were the strongest part of the book. I'd like to see more of Apollo's pov and less of Shades, and more fleshed out side characters but other than that this was a delight to read the minute Apollo captured Shade which was also when the book captured my complete interest. The author has a lot of potential, and I'd definitely like to read more dark romance from her.
This was the first dark romance I've read for a very long time and honestly I'm definitely gonna need to pick up more of the genre.
Okay let's put some disclaimers here : This is dark (graphic descriptions of murder, violence and gore) and the relationship between the two mmcs is extremely toxic and build upon abuse (mental,physical and sexual)(the mmc recognizes the sexual assault he endured by the love interest and rightfully calls it rape) and manipulation.
You have been warned.
Now onto the actual review :
Let's start with the world building - I have complicated feelings but I definitely feel like the sci-fi elements of the world were very unnecessary as they are not developed enough, but simply mentioned here and there without details. I genuinely feel like a better option would be for the author to set this in the real world.
When it came to the writing I had problems regarding the repetitiveness (which is the main reason I can't rate this higher) Shadow especially, the mmc keeps going back and forth between having the exact same inner monologue multiple times in the book which made his pov quite frustrating to read at times. I do like how invested the author was in fleshing out the characters, making them complex beings. However if you were to cut down the repetitive parts of the book it would be at least 100 pages shorter.
Other than that I can't really say I have complaints because the characters really were the strongest part of the book. I'd like to see more of Apollo's pov and less of Shades, and more fleshed out side characters but other than that this was a delight to read the minute Apollo captured Shade which was also when the book captured my complete interest. The author has a lot of potential, and I'd definitely like to read more dark romance from her.
February 18, 2024
Honestly, amazing. Take those content warnings seriously though because they are are real and they are also addressed in the book. The stalker love interest does rape the other when holding him captive, the captive does call it rape. They do also end up together in a HEA.
The sci-fi aspects added to the setting and I thought it was really interesting. I'd love to read another book set in this world... maybe about Fox 👀. I also like how both guys brought something to the relationship and complemented each other so well.
I'm trying to think of something -- anything else to say but I am horrible at righting reviews for books I really enjoy and honestly I loved this one. I love the characters with all their quirks, I loved the side characters who were written with life breathing out of them, the setting was interesting and not too sci-fi heavy -- honestly a great balance for me--, and while the relationship itself is highly toxic (which IS mentioned by the main characters) it just worked for this couple and seeing them make their life together warmed by heart. I seriously lost time reading this book and couldn't look away.
Highly recommend for anyone looking for a dark romance featuring an obsessed love interest who abducts, hurts, and manipulates the other for "their own good" not to bully or be mean to them.
I've also already downloaded another book by this author and I cannot wait to dive in to more of their writing.
The sci-fi aspects added to the setting and I thought it was really interesting. I'd love to read another book set in this world... maybe about Fox 👀. I also like how both guys brought something to the relationship and complemented each other so well.
I'm trying to think of something -- anything else to say but I am horrible at righting reviews for books I really enjoy and honestly I loved this one. I love the characters with all their quirks, I loved the side characters who were written with life breathing out of them, the setting was interesting and not too sci-fi heavy -- honestly a great balance for me--, and while the relationship itself is highly toxic (which IS mentioned by the main characters) it just worked for this couple and seeing them make their life together warmed by heart. I seriously lost time reading this book and couldn't look away.
Highly recommend for anyone looking for a dark romance featuring an obsessed love interest who abducts, hurts, and manipulates the other for "their own good" not to bully or be mean to them.
I've also already downloaded another book by this author and I cannot wait to dive in to more of their writing.
April 26, 2024
Between the Devil and the Sea is one of my favorite dark romances of all time. Shadow and Apollo have insane chemistry and a fantastic push/pull dynamic. I loved that I never fully had any idea where this story would and could go.
Overall this is a well-written dark romance mystery that had me constantly guessing everything. I could not put this story down and loved getting Shade and Apollo's story. They are complicated characters and are so fascinating together.
Overall this is a well-written dark romance mystery that had me constantly guessing everything. I could not put this story down and loved getting Shade and Apollo's story. They are complicated characters and are so fascinating together.
June 28, 2024
4.5
I mean ... I've just read 500 pages in under 24h sooo ... yeah, I think it's safe to say this is a page turner and pretty dang good.
I mean ... I've just read 500 pages in under 24h sooo ... yeah, I think it's safe to say this is a page turner and pretty dang good.
April 19, 2023
2.5? Hard to rate this one. On the one hand, it’s a claustrophobic romance that is (mostly) fast paced, sexy, unapologetically dark without being gratuitous, and in a fun sci-fi setting. Thematically, it is right up my alley. On the other, the writing is extremely patchy. Basic errors are common (eg “as” instead of ass, “accept” instead of except), which I find jarring. But more than that - it reads like a draft. Lots and lots of repetition. Weirdly this includes the exteeennsive internal monologues, with the MC recounting swathes of backstory to himself - apparently in the middle of speaking to someone. One can only assume he’s blanked for minutes out mid conversation - but then his interlocutors continue without acknowledging it - so it all seems very improbable. I’m already suspending my disbelief at all the dry sex, it’s too much for me to not be jarred by the unlikely conversational dynamics. Alas, while fun, the search for truly great new dark MM continues.
August 20, 2023
This book started out so dark & delicious & depraved & absolutely
addicting
(so basically all the good stuff mwahaha) I was immensely interested in the characters, the case, and the worldbuilding (especially the Chitta/empathic ability).
But then somewhere in the middle, the story started to lose steam for me. The smut though, fortunately, went the opposite direction... 😏 🔥🔥🔥
This would've been a 5* read if it was shorter by about a hundred pages or so? I still enjoyed it a lot though!
But then somewhere in the middle, the story started to lose steam for me. The smut though, fortunately, went the opposite direction... 😏 🔥🔥🔥
This would've been a 5* read if it was shorter by about a hundred pages or so? I still enjoyed it a lot though!
Read
September 30, 2024Я не знаю, я больше в ахуе от того, ЧТО я прочитала или что я это ПРОЧИТАЛА...
May 22, 2024
➰Dark Sci-Fi/PNR MM
➰Serial Exterminator
➰Enemies to Lovers
➰Tortured Hero (literally)
➰Hurt/Comfort
➰Check Those TW! Kind of Spice
Who needs therapy when you can just have a serial killer break you and put you back together? Sooooo, I'm not sure what it says about me that I enjoyed this book as much as I did, but whatever, I loved it. The author gives a lot of warning at the beginning, read it! There is a lot that's dark and twisted here, mostly in the form of non-con, so please beware.
Shadow 'Shade' is a Detective brought in to help catch a serial killer. Shade has amazing empathetic abilities that allow him to see people for what they really are, but he also suffers from an unbelievable amount of self hatred, PTSD, and has no self worth at all. This disgust for himself is drawn out over 500 pages (its a lot, I will admit that!). The only thing he lives for is the praise he gets from a job well done.
While on the case he meets Apollo, the local friendly neighborhood photographer. Everyone loves Apollo and his super charming ways. On the outside Apollo is perfection, but in reality he's a total psycho. He becomes immediately drawn to Shade and that obsession changes everything for these two broken men. It was weird, because I should have hated Apollo for what he was, and what he did. Instead I was fascinated and loved reading all the ways he was a master manipulator. And under all the hurt he brought upon Shade (and there is a lot!) there was actually a really good message about just loving who you are, and accepting yourself, and giving zero fucks about what those around you think. So there's that! I think this is a love it or hate it kind of book. I loved it, but can see that it might not be for everyone.
➰Serial Exterminator
➰Enemies to Lovers
➰Tortured Hero (literally)
➰Hurt/Comfort
➰Check Those TW! Kind of Spice
Who needs therapy when you can just have a serial killer break you and put you back together? Sooooo, I'm not sure what it says about me that I enjoyed this book as much as I did, but whatever, I loved it. The author gives a lot of warning at the beginning, read it! There is a lot that's dark and twisted here, mostly in the form of non-con, so please beware.
Shadow 'Shade' is a Detective brought in to help catch a serial killer. Shade has amazing empathetic abilities that allow him to see people for what they really are, but he also suffers from an unbelievable amount of self hatred, PTSD, and has no self worth at all. This disgust for himself is drawn out over 500 pages (its a lot, I will admit that!). The only thing he lives for is the praise he gets from a job well done.
While on the case he meets Apollo, the local friendly neighborhood photographer. Everyone loves Apollo and his super charming ways. On the outside Apollo is perfection, but in reality he's a total psycho. He becomes immediately drawn to Shade and that obsession changes everything for these two broken men. It was weird, because I should have hated Apollo for what he was, and what he did. Instead I was fascinated and loved reading all the ways he was a master manipulator. And under all the hurt he brought upon Shade (and there is a lot!) there was actually a really good message about just loving who you are, and accepting yourself, and giving zero fucks about what those around you think. So there's that! I think this is a love it or hate it kind of book. I loved it, but can see that it might not be for everyone.
May 24, 2023
Rating this with super duper fvcked up as my baseline and giving it a 3.75 stars rounded up.
This is my first Chani Lynn Feener book and I should've started with a not so dark one? But credits are due for plot and this was a brilliant if not totally mental idea. I can't imagine how much mind games and psychological weaving has to be done to come up with this and like the story, Chani carefully broke everything in this book and put all the pieces back together at the end.
I promised no complaints if I didn't finish because of all the dark stuff but since I muscled through it (Go, Me!), I will complain just a bit...
Starting with grammatical errors. 😂 I mean, English is not my first language but I noticed it and it happened all throughout the book that I just thought the poor proofreader probably had a hard time with the content to edit properly. Bless you, proofreader! ❤ Also, I know prolonged torture (no pun intended) for readers can help make happy endings very climactic but I wish the hardships were shorter than it were and the meet-cute and happy ending parts were longer. Like maybe 70-30 instead of 80-20 in favor of the bad things. 🤣 The inner monologues were some kind of torture, too!
I have steeled myself before reading this because my curiosity needs to be fed but setting aside all the bad things mentioned in the author's note, I think what rankled the most for me is the intentional manipulation and conditioning, but again, who are we to reason with a psychopath? 😅
Once again, thank you Chani for the detailed trigger warnings. Although I don't have those experiences, it helped prepare me for what I was about to witness. It may take some time for me to read anything this dark but this was an experience. I will try one of your lighter works next time. Teehee 😁
This is my first Chani Lynn Feener book and I should've started with a not so dark one? But credits are due for plot and this was a brilliant if not totally mental idea. I can't imagine how much mind games and psychological weaving has to be done to come up with this and like the story, Chani carefully broke everything in this book and put all the pieces back together at the end.
I promised no complaints if I didn't finish because of all the dark stuff but since I muscled through it (Go, Me!), I will complain just a bit...
Starting with grammatical errors. 😂 I mean, English is not my first language but I noticed it and it happened all throughout the book that I just thought the poor proofreader probably had a hard time with the content to edit properly. Bless you, proofreader! ❤ Also, I know prolonged torture (no pun intended) for readers can help make happy endings very climactic but I wish the hardships were shorter than it were and the meet-cute and happy ending parts were longer. Like maybe 70-30 instead of 80-20 in favor of the bad things. 🤣 The inner monologues were some kind of torture, too!
I have steeled myself before reading this because my curiosity needs to be fed but setting aside all the bad things mentioned in the author's note, I think what rankled the most for me is the intentional manipulation and conditioning, but again, who are we to reason with a psychopath? 😅
Once again, thank you Chani for the detailed trigger warnings. Although I don't have those experiences, it helped prepare me for what I was about to witness. It may take some time for me to read anything this dark but this was an experience. I will try one of your lighter works next time. Teehee 😁
September 16, 2023
This was an interesting premise and terrible execution. Dark scifi romance between a detective with empath powers and a serial killer. The book needs aggressive editing, there are so many repetitive monologues, tons of simple proofreading errors (baring instead of bearing, sheers instead of shears, accept instead of except, missing commas, etc), extremely cheesy and cringe dialogue, and the main characters lack chemistry.
To create believable Stockholm syndrome you really need to detail the psychological manipulation occurring and this book failed to do that, instead it tried to make up the difference with rape scenes. One character’s whole personality begins and ends with Low Self-Esteem which got so annoying. The other character is an over the top edgelord who read more like a cartoon villain than someone actually scary. Don’t even get me started on the stupid ending or the fact that Apollo kept using sunscreen as first aid ointment. Please do not put sunscreen on your torn asshole. I regret the time I spent reading this but at least I completed another fantasy bingo square 🥲
CWs: rape, torture, murder, toxic relationship, child abuse, confinement, off-page pedophilia
To create believable Stockholm syndrome you really need to detail the psychological manipulation occurring and this book failed to do that, instead it tried to make up the difference with rape scenes. One character’s whole personality begins and ends with Low Self-Esteem which got so annoying. The other character is an over the top edgelord who read more like a cartoon villain than someone actually scary. Don’t even get me started on the stupid ending or the fact that Apollo kept using sunscreen as first aid ointment. Please do not put sunscreen on your torn asshole. I regret the time I spent reading this but at least I completed another fantasy bingo square 🥲
CWs: rape, torture, murder, toxic relationship, child abuse, confinement, off-page pedophilia
Shelved as 'dnf'
May 21, 2023dnf on chapter 10 because i literally can't be bothered but i need you all to know that this is the protagonist
October 3, 2023
This is an author I’d never read before but the gorgeous cover attracted me to this book AND when I read the blurb.. I was hooked.
Warning ⚠️ you definitely should mind the TWs. The author did a great job in pointing out how dark this book is. AND it’s darker than dark. DARK. I cannot stress this enough.
Shadow is a detective and empath. He can read people’s emotions which makes him a great detective. BUT this “gift” is a double edged sword. Apollo also has the gift but uses it to his advantage much more than Shadow does.
This is in dual POV and takes a bit to build up but when it does it’s a roller coaster ride until the end! Whoa. SO f-ing intense!
“Apollo was stroking that part of Shade that craved love and affection. Acceptance. He was telling him all of the things he’d longed to hear from someone, anyone, ever since he’d been a kid abandoned on the side of the road”
Apollo is a very complex character and he reels in Shadow. Apollo fills the emptiness Shadow has always felt. The method might be unorthodox but Shadow understands that’s what Apollo is doing. I don’t want to spoil anything but there was serious dub con until there wasn’t 😬
AND more importantly this does end in an HEA. Shockingly so. Hang on and enjoy the madness of this one!
Warning ⚠️ you definitely should mind the TWs. The author did a great job in pointing out how dark this book is. AND it’s darker than dark. DARK. I cannot stress this enough.
Shadow is a detective and empath. He can read people’s emotions which makes him a great detective. BUT this “gift” is a double edged sword. Apollo also has the gift but uses it to his advantage much more than Shadow does.
This is in dual POV and takes a bit to build up but when it does it’s a roller coaster ride until the end! Whoa. SO f-ing intense!
“Apollo was stroking that part of Shade that craved love and affection. Acceptance. He was telling him all of the things he’d longed to hear from someone, anyone, ever since he’d been a kid abandoned on the side of the road”
Apollo is a very complex character and he reels in Shadow. Apollo fills the emptiness Shadow has always felt. The method might be unorthodox but Shadow understands that’s what Apollo is doing. I don’t want to spoil anything but there was serious dub con until there wasn’t 😬
AND more importantly this does end in an HEA. Shockingly so. Hang on and enjoy the madness of this one!
June 8, 2023
It is so dark.. not
I’m sorry yes there was rape etc but I expected more. The writing wasn’t good. There wasn’t anything left for imagination or interpretation. Everything was in your face. The killer was always monologing.
The sex scenes weren’t enjoyable except the first one. Because it was rape with tearing and stuff. The author wanted so hard to write a dark book that it became laughable. I rolled my eyes at both of these idiots and the cheesy story line.
At the beginning the author said the bad guy won’t become a hero at the end. I veg to differ. She made him good for the love of his life. Because he didn’t need to kill anymore now he has him. Fuck off.
Oh and the ending was shit.
I congratulate myself for finishing this crap.
I’m sorry yes there was rape etc but I expected more. The writing wasn’t good. There wasn’t anything left for imagination or interpretation. Everything was in your face. The killer was always monologing.
The sex scenes weren’t enjoyable except the first one. Because it was rape with tearing and stuff. The author wanted so hard to write a dark book that it became laughable. I rolled my eyes at both of these idiots and the cheesy story line.
At the beginning the author said the bad guy won’t become a hero at the end. I veg to differ. She made him good for the love of his life. Because he didn’t need to kill anymore now he has him. Fuck off.
Oh and the ending was shit.
I congratulate myself for finishing this crap.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 6, 2023
Loved almost everything about this book. My first read from Chani Lynn Feener. Darker than Dexter (the show) but not as black as my soul.
July 30, 2023
The cover? ✨️Stunning ✨️
This book? Honestly, writing this was a crime, and reading it was a punishment.
This book? Honestly, writing this was a crime, and reading it was a punishment.
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