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{{Episode
|title = Squilliam Returns
|code = 5572-199
|seasonnumber = 3
|episodenumber = 48b
|airdate = {{Flag|USA}} {{Time|March 15}}, {{Time|2002}}<br>{{Flag|CAN}} {{Time|October 17}}, {{Time|2002}}<br>{{Flag|AUS}} {{Flag|NZ}} {{Time|November 10}}, {{Time|2002}}<br>{{Flag|UK}} {{Flag|IRL}} {{Time|March 8}}, {{Time|2003}}{{SeeMore}}{{Flag|BRA}} {{Flag|LAM}} {{Time|September 10}}, {{Time|2002}}<br>{{Flag|SK}} {{Time|September 16}}, {{Time|2002}} (EBS)<br>{{Flag|NL}} {{Time|October 9}}, {{Time|2002}}<br>{{Flag|DEN}} {{Flag|NOR}} {{Flag|SWE}} {{Time|November 30}}, {{Time|2002}}<br>{{Flag|ESP}} {{Time|February 15}}, {{Time|2003}}<br>{{Flag|FRA}} {{Time|September 2}}, {{Time|2003}}<br>{{Flag|GER}} {{Time|September 10}}, {{Time|2003}} (Super RTL)<br>{{Flag|TUR}} {{Time|February 29}}, {{Time|2004}}<br>{{Flag|ISR}} {{Time|July 12}}, {{Time|2004}}<br>{{Flag|EU}} {{Flag|RUS}} {{Time|October 24}}, {{Time|2004}}<br>{{Flag|BEL}} {{Time|October 26}}, {{Time|2004}}<br>{{Flag|SK}} {{Time|December 15}}, {{Time|2004}} (JEI TV)<br>{{Flag|ITA}} {{Time|January 14}}, {{Time|2005}}<br>{{Flag|AUT}} {{Time|April 19}}, {{Time|2005}} (Orf 1)<br>{{Flag|GER}} {{Time|October 1}}, {{Time|2005}} (Nickelodeon)<br>{{Flag|CN}} {{Time|March 17}}, {{Time|2006}}<br>{{Flag|CHE}} {{Time|May 3}}, {{Time|2006}} (SRF ZWEI)<br>{{Flag|FNS}} {{Time|September 12}}, {{Time|2006}}<br>{{Flag|BUL}} {{Time|November 7}}, {{Time|2007}}<br>{{Flag|ALB}} {{Time|December 23}}, {{Time|2007}}<br>{{Flag|POL}} {{Time|January 27}}, {{Time|2009}}<br>{{Flag|RUS}} {{Time|September 8}}, {{Time|2009}} (Siberian feed)<br>{{Flag|CZE}} {{Time|December 13}}, {{Time|2009}}<br>{{Flag|UKR}} {{Time|October 16}}, {{Time|2010}} (QTV)<br>{{Flag|ARL}} {{Time|December 22}}, {{Time|2010}} (MBC 3)<br>{{Flag|VN}} {{Time|September 21}}, {{Time|2016}}<br>{{Flag|UKR}} {{Time|March 20}}, {{Time|2018}} (PLUS PLUS)<br>{{Flag|UKR}} {{Time|April 12}}, {{Time|2018}} (TET)<br>{{Flag|BGD}} {{Time|July 16}}, {{Time|2019}}<br>{{Flag|HK}} {{Time|September 3}}, {{Time|2020}}<br>{{Flag|KEN}} {{Time|August 5}}, {{Time|2021}}{{SeeMoreEnd}}
|year = {{Time|2002}}
|sisterep = No Weenies Allowed
|writer = [[Jay Lender]]<br>[[Sam Henderson]]<br>[[Merriwether Williams]] (Early airings,<ref>https://youtu.be/ltrNH84LRF0</ref> DVD releases, and international non-US airings)<br>[[Kent Osborne]] (American TV airings{{Citation needed}}, digital releases, and streaming services)
|storyboard artist = [[Heather Martinez]]<br>[[Mike Roth]]
|director-storyboard = [[Jay Lender]]<br>[[Sam Henderson]]
|director-animation = [[Sean Dempsey]]
|director-creative = [[Derek Drymon]]
|briefsummary = {{Link|Squidward}} tries to convince {{Link|Squilliam}} that he owns a [[5-Star Krusty Krab|five-star restaurant]]
}}

===Characters===
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*{{Link|SpongeBob SquarePants}}
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
*[[Squilliam Fancyson]]
*{{Link|Incidentals}}
**[[Fred]]
**[[Incidental 48]]
**[[Incidental 115]]
**[[Incidental 60]]
**[[Incidental 41]]
**[[Incidental 30]]
**[[Incidental 47]]
**[[Incidental 20]]
**[[Incidental 11]]
**[[Incidental 16]]
**[[Harris]]
**[[Incidental 64]]
**[[Incidental 46]]
**[[Teen 2]]
**[[Teen 5]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[The Appetizer]] {{Debut}}
*[[Clever Visual Metaphor for the Abstract Concept of Thought|Mini Brain SpongeBobs as The Clever Visual Metaphor for the Abstract Concept of Thought]] {{Debut}}
*[[King Neptune]] {{Mentioned}}

==Synopsis==
[[File:Squilliam Returns 012.png|thumb|200px|A crowd of friends with Squilliam.]]
On his lunch break, Squidward encounters Squilliam Fancyson with a group of his sycophants. Squilliam asks Squidward what he has "accomplished" since high school. Squidward, panicking of imagining for what Squilliam looks like in his underwear with the human body, tells him that he owns a five-star restaurant. Squilliam tells Squidward that he and his friends will come to his restaurant tonight, and Squidward is very shocked, frightened and nervous. He begs Mr. Krabs to let him have control of the [[Krusty Krab]] for the day, and when he explains that Squilliam is coming, Mr. Krabs accepts, because he knows that Squilliam has money and wants to stick up for his employee.

[[File:Squilliam Returns 025.png|thumb|200px|"Oh no, he's hot!"]]
Squidward attempts to train the Krusty Krab crew to turn the establishment into a fancy restaurant. Thinking that he is joining the corps, Patrick appears in the restaurant awaiting orders, and is given the job of collecting the hats. SpongeBob, who does not know how a waiter works yet, is the waiter, and Mr. Krabs, who says he once served on the ''S.S. Gourmet'', is the chef. However, things do not go well; Patrick is beating up the hat rack because it will not "give" him its hat, and Mr. Krabs makes terrible food such as cooked peas still in a can from the oven and an appetizer that has fly wings and more filthy things. Mr. Krabs also says that he only worked as a janitor on the ''S.S. Gourmet'', and was actually the head chef on the ''S.S.'' ''Diarrhea.'' Lastly, SpongeBob cannot handle the copy of "How To Become A Fancy Waiter in Less Than 20 Minutes" that Squidward gave him. Squidward tells SpongeBob to clear his mind of "everything that doesn't have to do with fine dining and breathing." SpongeBob's mind (which is metaphorically portrayed as an office) is operated by smaller SpongeBobs. Their boss' assistant tells them that he just got an order: Dump everything that is not about fine dining (and breathing). They begin to get rid of all documents, which represent SpongeBob's knowledge, until SpongeBob just stares into empty space in a catatonic state.

Squidward runs outside and bumps into Squilliam, who is just about to enter. They both go inside, and see that the Krusty Krab has been transformed into a very fancy five-star restaurant. After sending all the customers to their tables, SpongeBob tells Squidward that he did all of this, and that he has tied up Patrick and Mr. Krabs in the kitchen as punishment. After his meal, Squilliam admits that he is impressed and asks SpongeBob what his name is. However, SpongeBob cannot remember his own name, having discarded it along with everything else, and inside his mind, all of the little SpongeBobs try to find his name, but to no avail as they panic, ultimately resulting in his brain snapping in half (and it's all because of Squidward for telling him to erase all memories, but forgot to tell him to stop erasing the memory of his name). SpongeBob goes completely insane, mindlessly spilling food on patrons and grating the posteriors of others. Still tied up, Mr. Krabs and Patrick run out of the kitchen being chased down by the appetizer the former made earlier which has turned into an evil living monster and it also has a human foot. With this, the fancy façade is ruined, making the Krusty Krab's true nature unveiled.

Squidward has no choice but to tell Squilliam the truth, that he actually ''is'' a cashier and everything was just an attempt to impress him. However, Squilliam then "confesses" that he is also a cashier too and that he lied about being rich to upstage Squidward and beat him. Squidward asks if this is true, but Squilliam reveals that he was just kidding and he really ''is'' "filthy stinkin' rich!". He and his crowd leave the restaurant to ride in his "balloon/casino," leaving Squidward dejected and defeated once again, but not before Mr. Krabs comes in and plays him a sad song in the World's Smallest Violin, which annoys him a lot, making him request in anger to leave, as the episode ends.

==Production==
This episode was in production in {{Time|2002}}.
===Art===
<gallery widths="180" position="center">
Squilliam Returns Background.webp
199.jpg
File:TinyViolinCU.jpg
File:WaiterBook.jpg
File:AppetizerCU.jpg
SB199-SC.101.png
</gallery>

===Model Sheets===
<gallery widths="180" position="center">
030 INC 20,30,73 IN POLO SHIRTS.png
050 SQUID IN TUX.png
051 PATRICK IN WWII HELMET.png
069 KRABS IN CHEF OUTFIT.png
078 SPONGEBOB TIRED.png
093 SB IN ACCOUNTING HAT.png
117 FLUTE.png
117 CELLOIST.png
117 CELLO.png
117 VIOLINIST.png
117 VIOLIN.png
121 SB IN TUX.png
125 PAT KRABS TIED UP.png
189 APPETIZER.png
</gallery>

===Storyboards===
<gallery widths="180" position="center">
Squilliam Returns storyboard.jpg
Squilliam Returns storyboard 2.jpg
</gallery>

===Music===
{{MLegend}}
{{APM-article|Dingle's Regatta|Brian Peters|Title card}}
{{APM|t|Tomorrow the World|Cedric King-Palmer|"There will come a day when I will make something of my life..."}}
{{APM-article|Dramatic Cue (E)|Ronald Hanmer|Squidward sees Squilliam}}
{{APM-article|Comic Walk|Sidney Torch|"Oh, just succeeding in everything you failed in."}}
{{APM-article|Danger Zone|Mike Sunderland|"Don't be intimidated, Squidward."}}
{{OM|Idea Sting|Nicolas Carr|picturing Squilliam in his underwear}}
{{APM|t|Torn Apart|Mike Sunderland|Everyone laughs}}
{{APM-article|Dramatic Encounter|Gregor F. Narholz|"Tonight?"}}
{{APM-article|Hawaiian Link (B)|Richard Myhill|exterior of Krusty Krab}}
{{APM-article|Woe is Me!|Richard Myhill|Krabs playing violin}}
{{APM-article|Up She Rises|Sam Spence|"All right, listen up."}}
{{APM-article|The Plot Thickens|Dick Stephen Walter|Patrick beating up the hat rack}}
{{APM|s|Space Critters A|Gregor F. Narholz|appetizer}}
{{APM|i|It Came from Outer Space|Ilona Sekacz|"I can't do it, Squidward."}}
{{APM-article|Mists Of Illusion|Gilbert Vinter|Squidward tells SpongeBob to empty his mind}}
{{APM|m|Metropolis|Jack Brown|inside SpongeBob's brain}}
{{APM-article|Mists Of Illusion|Gilbert Vinter|"How do you feel?"}}
{{APM-article|Dramatic Cue (D)|Ronald Hanmer|"This isn't working!"}}
{{APM-article|Glissando{{!}}Glissando (C)|Skaila Kanga, Richard Myhill|harp music}}
{{APM-article|Airs And Graces{{!}}Airs And Graces (A)|Paddy Kingsland|"Hommina, hommina, hommina..."/"Right this way, please."}}
{{OM|Steel Licks 22|Jeremy Wakefield|"It worked! I can't believe it!"}}
{{APM|l|Life Drifts By (A)|Paddy Kingsland|Squidward rubs it in}}
{{APM-article|Mists Of Illusion|Gilbert Vinter|SpongeBob can't remember his name}}
{{APM-article|Dramatic Cue (G)|Ronald Hanmer|inside SpongeBob's brain}}
{{OM|Spongemonger|Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield|SpongeBob goes crazy}}
{{APM-article|Hawaiian Cocktail|Richard Myhill|Squidward admits he's a fraud}}
{{APM-article|Woe is Me!|Richard Myhill|Krabs playing violin}}
{{APM-article|Hawaiian Link (A)|Richard Myhill|Squidward sits}}
{{APM-article|Woe is Me!|Richard Myhill|ending}}

===Release===
*This episode is available on the [[SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric (DVD)|SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric]], [[The Complete 3rd Season|Complete 3rd Season]], [[SpongeBob's WhoBob WhatPants?|SpongeBob's WhoBob WhatPants? (Greek release)]], [[Tales from the Deep|Tales from the Deep (Russian version)]], [[The Best 200 Episodes Ever]], [[Exposed!: The Ultimate Box Set]], [[The Ultimate SpongeBob Box Set]], [[2-Season TV Pack]], [[The Best 300 Episodes Ever]], [[The Ultimate Box Set]], [[SpongeBob's Legendary Adventures]], [[SpongeBob on DVD]], [[The Third & Fourth Seasons]], [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Collection]], [[The First 100 Episodes|First 100 Episodes]], [[The SpongeBob SquarePants 8 Season DVD Collection]], [[Favorite Episodes]], [[From the Beginning, Part 1]], [https://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/spongebob-squarepants-vol-4/id509619043 SpongeBob SquarePants Vol. 4], [[Triple Pack 4]], [[Big Hits: Volume 2]], and [[The Complete Third Season|Complete Third Season]] DVDs and on [[List of VideoNow discs|VideoNow]].
*This episode is also available on the UK version of the [[SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric (VHS)|SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric]] VHS tape.

==Trivia==
===General===
*This is the second appearance of Squilliam Fancyson in the show. The first was "[[Band Geeks]]."
*Fred is seen wearing almost the same set of [[SpongeBob's pants|clothes]] as SpongeBob: brown trousers, black belt, and a white shirt. The only components missing are black shoes and a red tie.
*This episode was foreshadowed in Squilliam's debut appearance in "Band Geeks", as he suspected Squidward was working as a cashier in a fast food restaurant, to which the latter admits in this episode.
*This episode makes two references to its sister episode, "[[No Weenies Allowed]]." One is that Patrick acts like a "weenie," which is a reference to the [[Weenie Hut franchise]]. The other is that one of the things that is thrown out is "Spice Garden tips," which is a reference to the line, "I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes."
*This and its sister episode "No Weenies Allowed" both have a scene of Patrick fighting.
*Eight parts of this episode have become popular memes on YouTube (the most out of all episodes):
**Patrick saying "May I take your hat, sir?"
**Squilliam, Squidward, and the fish saying "Hommina."
**Squidward imagining Squilliam as a hot underwear model and thinking, "Oh no, he's hot!"
**Squidward, frightened, asking, "T-t-t-t-t-t-tonight?!"
**Mr. Krabs playing the world's smallest violin.
**The scenes with the Clever Visual Metaphors for the Abstract Concept of Thought.
**Mr. Krabs yelling, "Run for your lives, everyone! It's the Appetizer!"
**SpongeBob complaining about memorizing facts about fine dining.
*Patrick states his intention to join the Marine Corps in this episode.
*When Mr. Krabs messes up the [[peas]] and the appetizer and Squidward interrogates him, the two speak as though Mr. Krabs had told Squidward that he was the "Head Chef" on the S.S. Gourmet. This is not true, as their first conversation regarding the S.S. Gourmet was Squidward merely asking Mr. Krabs if he had "once served" on it and then jumping to the conclusion that he had been the chef. Squidward likely misremembered.
*Several male Bikini Bottomites in this episode wear business casual to formal clothing despite usually wearing pants at best in other episodes.
*When Squilliam "admits" he is a cashier, Mr. Krabs is seen wearing a tuxedo rather than the outfit he had worn throughout the episode. This also happens at the very end.
*When Squilliam and his party are at the disguised Krusty Krab, SpongeBob seats them immediately, while in reality, Squilliam and co. should have called ahead, as restaurants that achieve a five-star rating tend to be fully booked.
*This episode was paired up with "[[The Thing]]" during the [[Massive Monster Mayhem Marathon]].<ref>https://nicktoonsglobearchives.fandom.com/wiki/October_25,_2017</ref>
*On the {{Time|September 28}}, {{Time|2019}} airing, this episode was paired up with "[[Rock-a-Bye Bivalve]]."<ref>https://nickstory.fandom.com/wiki/September_28,_2019</ref>
*When the Appetizer emerges from the kitchen, a human foot can be seen below its mouth.
*Smaller SpongeBob #2 breaks [[List of fourth wall breaks|the fourth wall]] by calling out reality when he says to the office manager, "You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought."
*The rare production art book ''[[Behind Closed Doors]]'' contains a storyboard depicting Squidward rubbing his butt after SpongeBob pinching him, except SpongeBob is drawn rather inappropriately. 

===Dub facts===
*In the [[SpongeBob SquarePants (Malay series)|Bahasa Malaysia dub]], when SpongeBob grates the customer, what he says translates to "Your butt want to eat rice?"
*In the [[Bob Esponja (Latin American Spanish)|Latin American dub]], Patrick says "as if like a butler, OK" instead of being like a weenie.

===Cultural references===
*"Hommina hommina hommina" is Ralph Kramden's catchphrase in the {{Time|1955}} TV show ''[[w:c:cbs:The Honeymooners|The Honeymooners]]''.
*The world's smallest violin that Mr. Krabs plays might be a reference to the television series ''[[w:c:mash:M*A*S*H (TV series)|M*A*S*H]]'', where Mj. Margaret Houlihan rubs her thumb and forefinger together and asks "Charles, do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, and it's playing just for you."<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20160208160954/http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=mash&episode=s06e18</ref> and the {{Time|1992}} film ''{{W|Reservoir Dogs}}'' when Mr. Pink argues about tipping the waitress and says, "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-qV9wVGb38 You know what this is? The world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses]."
**[[Steve Buscemi]], who portrayed Mr. Pink in that film, would later have a guest appearance as [[Dorsal Dan]] in the season 10 episode "[[The Getaway]]."

===Errors===
[[File:Meriwether Williams credited as third writer in Squilliam Returns.png|thumb|260px|Merriwether Williams version.]]
[[File:Kent Osborne credited as third writer in Squilliam Returns.png|thumb|260px|Kent Osborne version.]]
*[[Merriwether Williams]] is credited as the third writer in the opening credits of this episode in early American TV airings, international non-US airings, the UK version of the [[SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric (VHS)|SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric]] VHS tape, and all DVD releases. However, on recent American TV airings, digital versions, and streaming releases of this episode, [[Kent Osborne]] is credited instead.
**In addition with all digital and streaming releases of this episode, [[Sam Henderson]] is credited as the first writer and [[Jay Lender]] credited as the second writer. In the Merriwether Williams version, they swapped places.
*When Squidward turns his head over to Squilliam, he is coming to the left, but when Squidward puts his hat in the bin, Squilliam is to the right.
*The world's smallest violin is microscopic and can only be seen in a close-up of Mr. Krabs' claw. However, near the end of the episode, it can easily be seen even when Mr. Krabs' full body is shown.
[[File:Squilliam Returns 191.png|thumb|260px|Mr. Krabs' eyes are white instead of pale green.]]
*When Mr. Krabs plays the world's smallest violin after the Krusty Krab reverts to its original self, his sclera are white instead of pale green.
*Before Squilliam enters the restaurant, the windows of the Krusty Krab are visible, but inside, there is wallpaper covering the windows.
*The appetizer destroys the door to the kitchen, but the same door is shown to be intact at the end of the episode.
[[File:Squilliam Returns 200.png|thumb|260px|Sky error.]]
*When Squilliam arrives at Squidward's "five-star restaurant," it is sunset, but when he is eating his meal, it is nighttime, and when Squidward says, "Would you get out here?!" instead of night, the episode uses a daytime shot of the exterior with the brightness reduced.
**The Krusty Krab turns normal, however, it was already decorated.
*When Patrick and Mr. Krabs are bound and gagged in the back, Mr. Krabs' legs are not tied but his eyes are. However, when he comes from the kitchen, it is the other way around.
*During the commotion towards the end of the episode, two instances of Incidental 60 can be seen running in opposite directions during the same shot.
*When Mr. Krabs comes out from the back, he has no arms. It is unlikely that his hands were tied behind his back, because before that, it shows that SpongeBob tied his hands on his stomach.
*When Squidward asks SpongeBob how he transformed the Krusty Krab, Squidward addresses SpongeBob by name. SpongeBob replies as if he already knows his name. Towards the end of the episode, however, when Squilliam asks him his name, SpongeBob's name is "thrown out" of his mind. This conundrum does not put a major loophole in the entire storyline.
*During the "homina" scene, Squidward's mouth is slightly out of sync with Squilliam's when saying the word, though it eventually syncs up by the time that other fish enter the shot.
*In the Indonesian dub, after the title card plays, you can hear the first few seconds of Squidward in English.https://youtu.be/Yu_bzN29OWY?feature=shared

==Names in other languages==
{{Foreign names
|Rus = Сквильям возвращается
|RusR = Skvil'yam vozvrashchaetsya
|RusM = Squilliam Returns
|SpaA = El regreso de Calamarino
|SpaAM = Squilliam's Return
|SpaE = El regreso de Guimardo
|SpaEM = Squilliam's Return
}}

==References==
{{Reflist}}

[[es:El Regreso de Calamarino]]
[[fr:Guillaume Calmarchic]]
[[id:Squilliam Returns]]
[[nl:Het vijfsterrenrestaurant]]
[[pl:Powrót Skalmira]]
[[pt-br:O Retorno do Squillian]]
[[ru:Сквильям возвращается]]
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