This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Say Awww!" from season 13, which aired on May 20, 2022.

• [The episode begins at the Krusty Krab. Plankton breaks into the Krusty Krab from the roof and lands on one of the tables.]
• Plankton: All right, you braindead barnacles! Drop those patties, your sandwiches are coming with me!
• [Plankton gets distracted by one of the customers.]
• Incidental 82: [rubbing her Krabby Patty on her face] Awww, so cute!
• Plankton: Huh?
• Incidental 82: [walks up to Plankton] I just want to pinch his face.
• [Plankton tries to blast her with his ray gun, but the old lady gets closer to him and pokes him.]
• Incidental 82: Oh, look at this precious little sweetie. Those adorable cheeks. Oh, that sparkling eye!
• Plankton: No!
• Incidental 82: That adorable tookus!
• [A crowd of customers surround him to adore his "cuteness."]
• Plankton: Stop! Get away!
• [Plankton escapes from the crowd by squeezing through them and makes his way out.]
• Plankton: I hate this town!
• [Plankton runs out of the Krusty Krab and back to the Chum Bucket, crying in annoyance. Bubble transition to the Chum Bucket. Karen is cleaning her screen with a buffer and looking at her results in a handheld mirror. Plankton storms in while in emotional agony.]
• Plankton: Karen!
• [The Chum Bucket clock falls onto Plankton. Karen picks him up from under the broken clock by grabbing his antenna.]
• Karen: Oh, let me guess, another failure?
• Plankton: Of course another failure! How am I supposed to steal the Krabby Patty formula when everybody thinks I'm adorable? Cute is no way to inspire fear! Unless...
• [A lightbulb appears as Plankton gets an idea, then he turns into a lightbulb and rolls around.]
• Plankton: Yes! Oh that's it! [jumps into Karen's screen and grunts] I'll teach the fools of this town that cute can be horrific!
• [Plankton makes a fist. Bubble transition to Plankton's laboratory. He has finished constructing one of his inventions.]
• Plankton: There, my evil masterwork is complete!
• Karen: [scrolling by while using a nail file] An egg? I already had breakfast, Sheldon.
• Plankton: It's not the egg. It's what's inside! [jumps on top of the invention] A robot, so diabolical [a woman's scream is heard], so devious, so adorable! When people see it, they'll have to say, "Awww!" [jumps off and onto the floor. The invention starts to shake and is about to spawn] But that sound, will transform it, into a terrifying monster...that will eat them!
• [The invention unravels with exhaust smoke and reveals itself.]
• Plankton: Behold! Revenge-Bot Model Q.T.-π!
• [A yellow robot duck is revealed with red blushing cheeks and a light blue bowtie below its neck. The robot quacks.]
• Plankton: Yes!
• Karen: Did you say it was going to eat people?
• Plankton: That's right! Its victims will be trapped in its quantum-stomach prison. To, uh... think about what they've done?
• Karen: [makes an unfazed face] Well have fun with your little toy. Just don't forget to take out the trash. [exits]
• Plankton: [sad face and disappointed voice] Awww!
• [Plankton has accidentally triggered the duck robot, causing it to transform into a giant terrifying monster intent on eating Plankton. It then opens up its mouth and screams as light is projected from its mouth. Plankton turns around and faces the robot.]
• Plankton: [fearful] Oh boy...
• [The robot eats Plankton and swallows him, causing Plankton to scream until he lands face-down on a pink metal floor and slightly fractures his bones. He lifts his face up from off the ground and gets back up in joy to reveal aloud that his invention worked.]
• Plankton: It works! It- huh? [realizes that he is trapped inside with no way out as the exit from atop the robot's mouth closes, causing him to fall into a feeling of despair] Barnacles...
• [Q.T.-π breaks the top of the Chum Bucket along with the doors and roars as he intends to terrorize the rest of Bikini Bottom. Suddenly, he reverts to his original small cute duck form and falls to the ground, quacking again. He follows SpongeBob, who is skipping to work.]
• SpongeBob: [skipping] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [Just as he is about to enter the Krusty Krab, he gets distracted by the wind blowing off his hat] Whoa! [grabs his hat and puts it back on] Huh...
• Plankton (as Q.T.-π): [Plankton's voice is heard from inside the robot as he is down in its stomach] Excellent! That moron won't be able to stop "Awww"ing at my robot! Go robot! Eat him. Eat him good, baby!
• [Plankton laughs menacingly. Q.T.-π makes an adorable quacking sound. SpongeBob's eyes emerge from his back as he confronts the duck behind him.]
• SpongeBob: Huh? Aaaaaaaa...
• [As SpongeBob continuously says "aaaaaa," Plankton gets excited over the intended outcome.]
• Plankton: Here it comes!
• SpongeBob: ....aaaaaaa.... cute little robot like you shouldn't be out here all alone! [he is not eaten due to changing his sentence; he grabs the robot and puts it in his palm] What's your name? [looks at the name inscribed on the robot's bowtie, which a close-up reveals is Q.T.-π] Q.T.-π? That's adorable! Come on, I'll take care of you until we find your owner.
• [SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab while carrying the robot.]
• Plankton (as Q.T.-π): [evilly] Yes, that's right, take us right into my enemy's lair...
• SpongeBob: [giving Q.T.-π a tour of the Krusty Krab] This is where I work, these are our customers, [pokes a couple's eyes, causing them to squint and grunt] and this is Squidward, my best friend!
• [SpongeBob pokes Squidward's head while he is napping, wearing a sleep mask in his workstation, causing Squidward to wake up startled.]
• Squidward: Huh?! Huh?! Wh-wh- That is a filthy lie! [slaps SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: [looks at his hands] Ooh, speaking of filthy, [puts the duck in Squidward's hands to hold onto while he goes off to wash his hands in the bathroom] I better wash these dirty hands before I get cooking.
• [A close-up of SpongeBob's hands are shown, sparkling clean, contrary to his claims.]
• SpongeBob: Squidward, be a dear and keep an eye on him for me, will you?
• [SpongeBob smiles flamboyantly and then walks off. Squidward groans in displeasure, before being shocked that the duck is talking to him. The duck quacks at Squidward. Squidward takes off his sleep mask.]
• Squidward: Say, you are pretty cute.
• Incidental 82: Did you say "cute"?!
• Squidward: Um, uh...
• [A crowd of customers walk up to Squidward's workstation and surround him while trying to get a good look at the duck. This makes Squidward uncomfortable and he gets out a golf club to push the customers out of his way and threaten them.]
• Squidward: Okay, get back you animals! [steps out of the boat] He needs room to be precious.
• [Q.T.-π spins around while quacking and sticks his tongue out. Squidward and the customers take a deep breath and say "Awww!" upon breathing out.]
• Squidward and customers: Awww!
• [They have triggered the robot's transformation into a monster. It first eats Squidward, who screams in terror. It then eats Incidental 85 and the other elderly lady fish. The burly woman fish grabs a table and Harold the blue fish grabs a barrel seat; they throw them at the robot, who eats both of them subsequently. Mr. Krabs hears the ruckus and storms out to solve the problem.]
• Mr. Krabs: Hey, those don't sound like "I'm spending money!" screams! [he looks up and notices the monstrous robot] Wha-?
• [Q.T.-π grabs Mr. Krabs with his tongue and eats him, even though he didn't say "Awww." The robot continues to terrorize the Krusty Krab by breaking the poles and throwing Krabby Patties against the wall. SpongeBob comes out of the bathroom and is wiping his hands with a paper towel.]
• SpongeBob: Proper drying of the hands is every bit as important as the- whaaaaaay?
• [SpongeBob sees that the Krusty Krab is a mess and everyone is gone. Q.T.-π has returned to his normal form and quacks.]
• SpongeBob: Huh, guess we closed early today... Oh boy, now I have more time to help my new friend Q.T.-π! [grabs the robot and squeezes it against his cheek] La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la!
• [SpongeBob exits the Krusty Krab. The scene changes to the inside of Q.T.-π's mouth. Mr. Krabs is shown falling inside and screaming until he lands face-down on the floor while Squidward and the fish watch in concern. He lifts his injured face up as he looks around in confusion.]
• Mr. Krabs: Huh? What in the name of Neptune is going on here?
• Plankton: [squished, he gets up from underneath Mr. Krabs' butt] [pretends not to know what is going on by putting on a mocking tone] Oh, yeah! What is happening here?
• Mr. Krabs: [grabs Plankton with his claws] Plankton... This has "you" written all over it.
• Plankton: How dare you?!
• [Mr. Krabs pushes everyone aside and shows Plankton the sign which reads "Property of Chum Bucket" to prove he was the one who trapped everyone.]
• Plankton: Heh, how'd that get on there? [Mr. Krabs pulls him away from the sign. Plankton stands up in Krabs' palm to confess to his misdeed] Okay, it was me. To teach you all a lesson, I made a robot that eats people who say, "Awww!" So sue me.
• Mr. Krabs: Oh, I don't wanna sue you, Plankton. [increases his voice and yells at Plankton, who falls out of Mr. Krabs' hand] I wanna get out of your infernal contraption!
• Plankton: Well, the only way out is the emergency evacuation uvula. Which is, [points up] up there...
• [A close-up of a uvula wiggling with an emergency sign below is shown while a gulping sound is heard.]
• Mr. Krabs: Huh? Alright, you heard the pipsqueak. Everyone farm up! Let's yank that uvular!
• [Everyone piles up onto each other to reach the uvula, but it turns out they don't have enough people. When Mr. Krabs throws Plankton up into the air, he falls down and causes everyone to disassemble their balance and follow suit. Everyone groans in pain.]
• Plankton: Looks like we're stuck here, until this dumb robot eats more people.
• [Everyone groans. Bubble transition. SpongeBob is shown walking into a vet while carrying Q.T.-π.]
• SpongeBob: The veterinarian can help me find your owner. You're a robot, so you must be chipped.
• [SpongeBob laughs as he enters. The scene then changes to him sitting on a vet chair while a blue female veterinarian examines the robot.]
• Veterinarian: Hmmm... Normally, I work with animals, not machines. But, how different can they be? [chuckles] Let's just take a listen.
• [She puts the stethoscope onto the robot's stomach. Squidward and Mr. Krabs' voices are heard from inside.]
• Squidward: Say "Awww!"
• Mr. Krabs: Get eaten!
• Plankton: Say "Awww!"
• Veterinarian: [shocked] Oh my! [gets out tongue depressor] Okay then! Say "Awww!"
• Q.T.-π: [opens his beak] Awww...
• [The veterinarian puts the depressor in the duck's mouth. The robot's monstrous transformation is triggered and the vet looks in shock as her pupils change in appearance to display the transformation. She attempts to grab her emergency handbag, but is taken and eaten by the robot before she can do anything. SpongeBob sits there smiling with no awareness of what is going on. The hospital is now destroyed aside from the flooring and seats.]
• SpongeBob: Awww... No, wait, I mean to say... Ahhhhh!
• [SpongeBob runs off screaming in horror. The robot chases after him and eats several of the Bottomite houses. Suddenly, the robot goes back to its cute form.]
• SpongeBob: D'ow cute!
• [SpongeBob continues screaming and running even when the robot remains in its cute and harmless form. He runs into Glove World! without purchasing a ticket. Incidental 41 is working at the ticket booth and waves a ticket around to emphasize SpongeBob's trespassing.]
• Incidental 41: Wha-? Hey! You need to buy a ticket! [looks in front of him and sees Q.T.-π] Awww!
• [The robot then goes back to its terrifying form, causing Incidental 41 to scream and close the windows in his booth. He pokes his arms and legs through the booth and attempts to run off, but is eaten by the robot, causing him to scream. The robot reverts to its cute form afterward and continues following SpongeBob, who is still screaming. Tons of fish are running around screaming and a group of anchovies gets eaten. The robot vacuums everyone in sight up then eats a trash can that someone is hiding in. Incidentals are shown riding on a rollercoaster. Once it gets to the steep end, Q.T.-π appears and opens his mouth to eat all the fish. SpongeBob continues running away, but is cornered in front of the gift shop. However, he then notices an alley and plans his escape through there.]
• SpongeBob: Ooh, perfect! [talks to the camera and points toward the alley] I'll escape through there! [runs through the alley but grunts as he hits a brick wall with a sign that reads, "Dead End the Ride"] A dead-end ride? That doesn't seem very glove-themed. [hears quacking] Hmm? Huh?! [panics as the duck has found him] Ahhh, Q.T.-π! Please don't eat me!
• Everyone inside: Eat him! Eat him!
• SpongeBob: [gets an idea] Ooh, I know! I'll try the soothing power of music... [gets out a ukulele with "Love" and a heart symbol written on it and starts playing a tune] Ohhh...
• [The ukulele strings break off as he uses the pick on a first try.]
• SpongeBob: Awww, rats!
• [The usage of "Awww" triggers the robot and causes him to eat SpongeBob, who falls inside and screams until he lands on his face. He gets his face up off the ground and looks around in confusion. Everyone is cheering upon his arrival.]
• Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, good boy!
• SpongeBob: A surprise party... for me?!
• Plankton: [gets off from underneath SpongeBob and grunts] This isn't a party, you boob.
• SpongeBob: Well why did everyone cheer when I showed up?!
• Mr. Krabs: Because with you, we can finally reach the emergency escape uvular! [Mr. Krabs points up to the uvula] Alright, let's try it again, people!
• [Everyone piles up again.]
• Fish: He can do it! He can do it!
• [SpongeBob climbs up and stands on Patrick's back to grab the uvula. As he attempts to grab it, his arms are too short. Suddenly, a shaking sound is heard, implying something big. The height of the pile towers up, and SpongeBob tries again. He finally succeeds in grabbing the uvula and causes the robot to spin around and malfunction. A circular opening in the robot's butt is shown with everyone squished up inside. Everyone inside is freed and released into the sky as fireworks as Q.T.-π collapses. The fish from before are launched back onto the rollercoaster and cheer. Everyone else falls back onto the ground, while Squidward falls into the ice cream cart.]
• Mr. Krabs: We did it! We escaped!
• Plankton: [shown between Mr. Krabs' butt cheeks] And I got us sent to Glove World! for free. You're wel-come!
• Squidward: [emerges from the ice cream] Last one on the Bumper Gloves is a rotten egg!
• [Everyone cheers and races Squidward to the Bumper Gloves ride as they create a giant cloud of dust. Q.T.-π observes as he has returned to his original cute form.]
• Q.T.-π: [sadly mourns being left alone while everyone has fun] Awww...
• [A glove balloon appears floating down next to him. SpongeBob is revealed to be floating on it, until he lands on the ground and pops it. He is also wearing a glove hat.]
• SpongeBob: [sympathetic] Poor Q.T.-π. That whole eating everyone thing didn't work out for you. [gets an idea] I think I know how you could use your powers for good!
• [SpongeBob grabs another glove hat and points to it while enlightening Q.T.-π. He puts it onto the robot's head. Q.T.-π quacks. Bubble transition. Q.T.-π is shown inside a new ride called the "Glove Launch."]
• Employee: Step right up and try our new glove-tastic ride! Experience the 'awww'-pocalypse! [opens the line for everyone to enter] At the Glove Launch!
• [A teenage boy fish then walks up and sticks his tongue out to blow raspberries at Q.T.-π.]
• Teenage fish: Awww...
• [The fish has triggered the monstrous transformation and is eaten by the duck as he screams. He is then released through the duck's bottom opening and sent flying through several fire rings before landing on a roll of toilet paper. He then grunts as he lands in a toilet with Marina (who has a fire-lit plunger on her head) and two other teenage fish, one a boy and the other a girl.]
• Teen fish: Alright, yeah-yeah-yeah!
• [He and the rest of the fish cheer as they are flushed down the toilet. A line for the Glove Launch ride is shown. Plankton is being denied admission on account of being too short. He is standing next to a "Must Be This Tall to Ride" sign.]
• Plankton: What do you mean I'm too short to ride this ride? I built this-
• Employee: [sounding tired] Sorry, buddy, rules is rules. [squishes Plankton's cheeks] Even for an adorable little guy like you.
• Plankton: Real cute.
• [The episode irises out and ends.]