Earworm/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Earworm" from season 7, which aired on November 27, 2010.

[The episode begins during sunset at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is singing to the "Musical Doodle."]
SpongeBob: ♪ Doo Doo Doo-doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! [preparing a patty] Doo-doo Doo Doo Doo-doo doo-doo! Trying to stop it is futile. [flipping the patty attached to the spatula] So just listen now to my Musical Doodle! Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo. Doo... ♪
Squidward: [growls and grabs SpongeBob's lips] Would you stop that incessant babbling!?
SpongeBob: [muffled] Thowwy, Thquidward.
[Squidward growls once more.]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What are you doing? It's closin' time! [hands SpongeBob a mop and bucket] Now get out there and swab the poop deck.
SpongeBob: [saluting with the mop] Aye-aye, mein captain. [slides past Squidward, singing] ♪ Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo. Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo-doo. I'm mopping and I'm singing about the Musical Doodle ♪ [humming. Squidward walks over to SpongeBob and gets hit with the mop]
Squidward: Would you quit it with that tune already?
SpongeBob: Sorry. It's just so catchy.
Squidward: I don't care. Just can it! [walks back to the register]
Squidward: I'll cleanse myself by listening to a little public radio. [turns on the radio. "Musical Doodle" plays]
SpongeBob: Ooh! It's "Musical Doodle," Squidward! ♪ Round and round the record spins all day. Listen again. It takes you far away. Trying to stop it is futile. So just listen now to my musical doodle! Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo... ♪
Squidward: [turns off the radio] Figures you would be into that hideous pop fodder.
SpongeBob: It's a sign!
Squidward: A sign that you're a true boob?
SpongeBob: Yes... No! That this song and I were meant to be together.
Squidward: Great, now I hate two things.
Mr. Krabs: All right boys, time to go ho-
Squidward: [bursts out the door laughing and yelling] Freedom!
Mr. Krabs: Okay, SpongeBob. Time to hit the road. SpongeBob?
[He looks up to see SpongeBob sitting at a table listening to "Musical Doodle."]
SpongeBob: ♪ Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo. Doo doo doo-doo doo do the Musical Doodle! Listen again to the Musical Doodle! ♪
Announcer: And that's the new song by the Sonars called "Musical Doodle!"
SpongeBob: [sighs happily] "Musical Doodle."
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Oops! Good night, sir. [floats out the door still singing "Musical Doodle"] ♪ Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo-doo. Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo... ♪
Mr. Krabs: What am I running here, a nuthouse?
[SpongeBob flies through the streets singing when a record version of "Musical Doodle" is heard and he falls down. Getting up, he sees a record shop playing "Musical Doodle." SpongeBob happily takes out a dollar. Bubble transition to Gary eating his dinner when SpongeBob arrives.]
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary! [Gary tries to escape, but SpongeBob captures him] Just the pal I'm looking for. Want to hear my new record? [Gary shakes his head "No." SpongeBob chuckles] I knew you would! [puts him down and opens his shell revealing a record player, then places the record on the turntable. "Musical Doodle" plays]
Record: ♪ Round and round the record spins all day. Listen again, it takes you... ♪ [SpongeBob joins in with the song]
SpongeBob: ♪ ...far away. Trying to stop it is futile. So just listen now to my Musical Doodle. ♪ [continues singing until late into the night] ♪ Listen again to the Musical Doodle. ♪ [looks up to see Gary is already asleep] Whoo! Let's spin that record one more time! [just then, he looks at the clock reading 9: 00] Wow. It's late. I have to get to sleep. [takes the record off the turntable and puts it back in the sleeve] Come to bed when you're ready, Gary. [walks upstairs to his bed humming, then climbs into bed and sighs happily. Suddenly, he hears himself whistling the song. He covers his mouth, but he still continues whistling it. Thinking quickly, he takes a cork and plugs up his mouth. His holes make a hollow whistling to the tune. He wakes up] Oh, fine. I'll just listen to it one more time to get it out of my system.
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob downstairs listening to the song.]
Record: ♪ Round and round the record spins... ♪ [SpongeBob joins in with the song]
SpongeBob: ♪ ...all day. Listen again. It takes you far away. Trying to stop it is futile. So just listen now to my Musical Doodle. Listen again to the Musical Doodle!♪ [giggles] Just one more time. [puts the needle on the record again] ♪Round and round the record spins all day.♪ One more time! ♪Round and round the record spins all day.♪
[Bubble transition to the next morning at the Krusty Krab. A sleepy SpongeBob is standing at the grill in the kitchen.]
Mr. Krabs: Pushin' your luck a bit, aren't you, kid? [SpongeBob looks up to see him standing in the doorway to the kitchen] You were nearly late this morning. You got to be more concientierous or I'll have to start dockin' your pay. Oh, yeah. That's what I'll do. [whips out a tambourine and starts dancing] Doo dee doo, doo dee doo, doo doo doo! [SpongeBob cowers in fear as he shakes the tambourine at him] Musical Doodle! SpongeBob! Wake up, boy-o! Don't you need some patties to get started there?
SpongeBob: Of course. Yes, boss! [dumps a bucket of Krabby Patties onto the grill]
Mr. Krabs: Just focus on makin' them patties, boy-o.
SpongeBob: Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo... [gasps, giggles nervously. Mr. Krabs walks back to his office and closes the door watching SpongeBob through the window. As soon as he leaves, SpongeBob's legs start bobbing up and down]
SpongeBob: ♪Think you control it, but it's way too hard. Every time it plays, there's an electric charge.♪ [covers his mouth] Hang on. Hang on. Play that last part back for me. [presses his tooth like a button on a tape recorder which rewinds the song, then presses the play button which plays the preceding verse] That's it! I shouldn't try to control it. I should stop fighting the Doodle's infectious groove. [comes into the restaurant with a Krabby Patty on a plate] ♪ Trying to stop it is futile. So just listen now to my Musical Doodle! ♪ [lands at a table and gives the Krabby Patty to Martha Smith, then cartwheels to the next table and gives Lonnie a Krabby Patty] ♪ Think you control it, but it's way too hard. Doo doo doo-doo doo-doo doo doo doo! ♪
Lonnie: Young man? [SpongeBob is still singing and dancing] Excuse me, young man! [SpongeBob keeps singing] I asked for no onions! Young man!
SpongeBob: ♪ Gonna listen again to the Musical Doodle! ♪
Lonnie: Ugh! What is wrong with the youth of the ocean today?
[SpongeBob slides up to Frankie-Billy. As he gives him his Krabby Patty, he splashes soda in his face.]
SpongeBob: ♪ Every time it plays, it's an electric charge! [dances over to another table] The sound in your head is brutal. Now you're infected by the Musical Doodle! [Harold reaches for his patty, but SpongeBob keeps taking it away] Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo-doo. [places Harold's patty on top of Abigail-Marge's patty and walks off] You're gonna listen again to the Musical Doodle! ♪
[At a table, Fred is eating his Krabby Patty. He turns around and sees SpongeBob still singing and his spit gets onto Fred.]
SpongeBob: ♪ Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo-doo! Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo-doo! ♪
Fred: [groans in disgust] I can't eat like this. [gets up and leaves the table]
Frankie-Billy: Me neither! [leaves his table as well as everybody else]
SpongeBob: ♪ You're gonna listen again to the Musical Doodle ♪
[Meanwhile, in his office, Mr. Krabs is sleeping on a stack of coins when he wakes up.]
Mr. Krabs: That door squeak sounded decidingly disgruntled. [opens the door and notices the customers leaving] Me customers! [pushes the floorboard up causing the customers to fall back and on top of each other] Why are you running off?
Martha Smith: Well, I never got my fries!
Harold: I never got my patty!
Frankie-Billy: I got drenched in soda, and it was all because that yellow idiot keeps singing that annoying song!
[Mr. Krabs looks up and growls as he looks at SpongeBob humming "Musical Doodle" while washing a table.]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You gotta cut out that singin', boy! It's repellin' me profits.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I've tried and I've tried, but it keeps playing over and over in my mind.
Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. Stop singin' that song! One more outburst like that out of me, and I'm sendin' you home for the day!
[SpongeBob gasps. Bubble transition to in the kitchen, where SpongeBob stands at the grill. He tries hard not to sing, but while straining, he closes his eyes, but they sing "The Musical Doodle!" SpongeBob keeps them shut]
SpongeBob: Keep your trap shut! But it wasn't my trap! [Suddenly, he hears his holes on his back singing. He takes a bunch of buns and plugs them up] One more outburst and Mr. Krabs will send you home for the day! Okay! Okay! But I feel it building up inside of me! [covers his face, still trying not to sing]
[Bubble transition to the kitchen all trashed. The walls have the word "Doodle" written all over them, the grill is tipped over, ropes of buns hang from the ceiling, ketchup and mustard bottles are stacked up, and most of the floorboards are torn up. SpongeBob stands hugging himself and humming goofily. Captions show this as "babbling musically."]
SpongeBob: [mumbling lyrics] ♪ At least you're safe from that infernal racket. ♪
[Mr. Krabs walks into the kitchen.]
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] What in blazes are you doing? That's it, boy! You're done for the day!
SpongeBob: Trying to escape is futile! [runs out on all fours and crashes into the kitchen wall] ♪ Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo! Doo doo doo doo-doo! The Musical Doodle! ♪ [runs past Sandy who walks into the restaurant and laughs maniacally]
Sandy: What's his deal?
Squidward: Oh, he's obsessed with this artless pop tune.
Sandy: We gotta help him but quick. He could be in great danger.
[SpongeBob runs through town.]
SpongeBob: ♪The song that you ran from is back again. You wonder if the madness will ever end.♪ [runs by Patrick standing]
Patrick: Hey, buddy!
[Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs run after him.]
Sandy: Come on, Pat! We need your help!
[SpongeBob, still humming, dances to his house. He crawls up the side and into the porthole window. Sandy kicks the door down as she, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and Squidward enter.]
Sandy: SpongeBob!
Patrick: SpongeBob! Where are you? [looks up to see SpongeBob on the ceiling]
SpongeBob: Doo doo doo doo-doo! The Musical Doodle! [the lights go on]
Patrick: SpongeBob! Hold still. This won't hurt a bit.
SpongeBob: Huh?
Sandy: Get him! [She and Mr. Krabs grab him and pin him to the floor. Patrick pounces on them. SpongeBob is taped to a chair. Sandy looks at him through a magnifying glass]
Sandy: Just as I thought. You're suffering from a condition known as "Earworm." You see, when your brain becomes stuck on a catchy tune, you're susceptible to earworm infection and you've got a nasty one there.
[In SpongeBob's head, a little green worm sits in his rocking chair listening to "Musical Doodle."]
Mr. Krabs: Let's just rip the little sucker out!
Sandy: Hold it! We can't do that! It might damage his brain. The only way to drive the earworm out is with another catchy tune.
Mr. Krabs: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I got one! It's an old sea shanty me and me mates used to sing on the high seas. [puts a sailor's hat on his eye, singing] ♪ It be drafty and wet on the mighty high seas, the ideal abode for rampant disease. So mateys, oh mateys, don't ever weep! If I so much as sneeze, cast me into the deep! ♪ [glares at the earworm in SpongeBob's head and is still listening to the Musical Doodle] He ain't budgin'.
Sandy: I'll be darned if anyone can resist a Western song while wearing a Western hat. Come here, you! [pulls out a guitar and places a miniature cowboy hat on the earworm, singing] ♪ Oh, life on the prairie is lonesome indeed. Not a friend in sight among some rustling weeds. So, when I get lonesome, I don't have a conniption, I just fire up my friend, Generator Contraption! ♪ [The earworm throws the cowboy hat away] That only seems to have made him madder. We need somebody with real musical talent to get rid of this thing.
Squidward: Alright. I'll do it. But only because you required an artist of such high talent.
Sandy: Oh, right. Squidward. You play that little doohickey.
Squidward: It's called a clarinet. [takes his clarinet and walks over to SpongeBob, then begins playing really loud. The earworm falls out of his chair. As Squidward keeps playing, the earworm, wearing a fedora and carrying a briefcase, slips out of SpongeBob's head and slithers away]
Sandy: You did it! Drove the little critter out!
Patrick: Hold still, buddy! [rips the tape off SpongeBob, as well as most of his skin. SpongeBob runs to Squidward and gives him a hug]
SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Squidward!
Squidward: Alright. You're grateful. Now leave me alone. [pushes SpongeBob away and hugs him again]
[Bubble transition to Squidward's house at night as Squidward climbs into bed.]
Squidward: Oh, that was a neat little tune I came up with today, if I do say so myself.
[As he closes his eyes, the earworm slithers across his head, slips under his eyelid, and into his head. As Squidward begins humming, the song he played earlier begins playing in his head. Cut back to the exterior of his home.]
Squidward: Oh, yeah. That's catchy stuff, Squiddy. Catchy stuff. Mmm-mmm-mmm. [screams in agony as the screen cuts to black and the episode ends]