Denial, Anger, Acceptance

"Denial, Anger, Acceptance" is the third episode of the HBO original series The Sopranos. It was written by Mark Saraceni, directed by Nick Gomez, and originally aired on January 24, 1999.

Shlomo Teittleman, the head of a Hasidic Jewish family, approaches Tony when his son-in-law, Ariel, demands a 50% stake in a family-owned motel as his condition for a divorce. Tony agrees to remove Ariel's claim in return for a 25% stake. Ariel turns out to be very tough, both emotionally and physically, and will not yield despite being beaten by Silvio and Paulie. They consult Tony, who in turn consults Hesh, who obliquely suggests threatening him with castration; Ariel yields. Teittleman then attempts to renegotiate the agreement, but Tony menacingly refuses.

Jackie, who is dying from stomach cancer, has been hospitalized. Tony brings him a dancer from the Bada Bing, posing as a nurse, for a "private party". However Jackie, whose condition is deteriorating, cannot think of anything else.

Artie is still depressed by the loss of his restaurant; the insurance company refuses to pay him out, suspecting arson. He and Charmaine cater a charity event at the Sopranos' home; an argument between him and Tony turns into a boyish food fight. During the event, Carmela offends Charmaine by seeming to treat her like a servant. Afterward, Charmaine confides to Carmela that, prior to his marriage, she slept with Tony.

Meadow and one of her friends, Hunter Scangarelo, exhausted from choir practice and studying for the SATs, decide to purchase methamphetamine from Christopher. Christopher initially refuses, fearing Tony's wrath if he finds out; his girlfriend, Adriana La Cerva, convinces him to do it anyway, as the girls are likely to get adulterated and unsafe drugs from less trustworthy dealers. Christopher reluctantly agrees, stressing that Meadow must never speak of it. At the recital, Meadow and Hunter, showing subtle signs of amphetamine use, sing their brief solos successfully.

After Christopher and Brendan return the stolen truck, Uncle Junior discusses what action to take next with his underling, Mikey Palmice, and with Livia. Obliquely, Livia advises Junior to punish Christopher and take drastic action against Brendan. Out alone one night, Christopher is seized by Russian thugs who prepare to kill him. He thinks they have been sent by Tony because he sold methamphetamine to Meadow. Terrified, he pleads for his life, but it is only a mock execution. Brendan is shot dead in his bathtub by Mikey; Junior glances at the body.

• James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano
• Lorraine Bracco as Dr. Jennifer Melfi
• Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano
• Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti
• Dominic Chianese as Corrado Soprano, Jr.
• Vincent Pastore as Pussy Bonpensiero *
• Steven Van Zandt as Silvio Dante
• Tony Sirico as Paulie Gualtieri
• Robert Iler as Anthony Soprano, Jr. *
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler as Meadow Soprano
• Nancy Marchand as Livia Soprano

* = credit only

• Michael Rispoli as Jackie Aprile, Sr
• Jerry Adler as Hesh Rabkin
• John Ventimiglia as Artie Bucco
• Kathrine Narducci as Charmaine Bucco
• Ned Eisenberg as Ariel
• Chuck Low as Shlomo

This is the first episode where Irina is played by Oksana Lada. She was originally portrayed by Siberia Federico in the pilot.

Denial, anger, and acceptance are the first, second, and fifth stages, respectively, described in the Kübler-Ross model. In this epidode, Tony is initially in denial that Jackie is going to die, telling Melfi that "Jackie's so mean he'll scare that cancer away!" Later in the episode, he becomes angry when Melfi says Jackie's prognosis does not sound good, and storms out of her office. Near the end of the episode, Tony accepts that Jackie is about to die, and tells Melfi "It's like he's already gone."

In a retrospective review, Emily St. James of The A.V. Club wrote that the "[ending] montage - intercut with Tony watching Meadow sing - is one of the first moments when The Sopranos takes music and rises above its prosaic, muddy universe to become something like sublime"; St. James commented that although the episode "is a 'Let's get the plot wheels turning!' kind of episode, and those sorts of episodes can be a little trying from time to time", there is nonetheless "lots of it that is just expertly executed".^[1] Alan Sepinwall praised Gandolfini's performance as well as the story involving Carmela and Charmaine, writing that the show "has a really great eye and ear for insults – particularly ones not necessarily intended as such".^[2]

• "Denial, Anger, Acceptance" Archived August 18, 2016, at the Wayback Machine at HBO
• "Denial, Anger, Acceptance" at IMDb