The Tile Divide/Transcript

Character	Scene/Script
Recapper	Last Time on Inanimate Insanity... The eliminated contestants were revealed to have survived the explosion, and planned their great escape, with Lightbulb taking the initiative.
Lightbulb	I didn't permit you to speak!
Recapper	MePhone interrupted Pickle and Taco's picnic by starting the elimination, in which Pickle and Apple were in the bottom two, but Marshmallow fans made Apple get the boot, who landed at the empty Idiotic Island since the eliminated contestants had escaped. But Salt messed it all up by going after OJ. She interrupted the "MePhone Says" challenge by freaking OJ out, alerting MePhone to the escape attempt.
(Salt gives OJ a crazed look and giggles madly. He yelps.)
Recapper	Despite the fact that Pickle was busy trying to help Taco find more lemons after she ran out, they inadvertably both captured the most eliminated contestants, and MePhone gave them immunity. So now that the horrible, horrendous, hideous hiatus is finally over, I bet you can't wait till the recap is over so the person who's eliminated will finally be revealed. Unless you counted the votes. Then you kinda already know. Yeah. And that's what you missed on... Inanimate Insanity.
(OJ and Paper are on a park bench together. OJ is missing his juice and lying down.)
Paper	Uh, OJ, it's just so upsetting. I'm up for elimination! (OJ groans.) It's just so... tragic! I mean, how could anyone vote me out over Bow? (OJ groans again.) Ugh! Would you quit complaining?
OJ	Paper, I'm sick! I have no orange juice, and you know how weird and moody I get without my fruit juice... (As OJ is talking, Paper reaches for an orange juice box and starts drinking it.) ...preferably orange, and I don't feel very good right now.
Paper	Sorry to hear about that. (finishes the juice box)
OJ	Is that... orange juice?!
Paper	Yeah. Why do you-
(OJ takes the juice box and tries to pour the juice into himself, but only a drop comes out.)
OJ	How could you hide it from me all this time? Didn't you know how sick I was?
Paper	Um... Well, uh...
OJ	Are you seriously that incompetent? (walks away) I'm so enraged, I could just- (MePhone4S jumps down on him and shatters him.)
MePhone4S	I'm back. After all the anticipation. It's me, MePhone4S! (laughs maniacally as lightning strikes in the background)
Paper	Never heard of ya.
(MePhone4S grabs the juice box and crumples it, then walks up to MePhone4, who is about to eat a cookie.)
MePhone4S	MePhone4, my less technologically advanced failure of a relative.
MePhone4	Oh god, not you again! How'd you even come back?! I threw you into the quicksand pit!
MePhone4S	Well, because there was-
MePhone4	Whatever, you can't hurt me anyway.
MePhone4S	But I don't-
MePhone4	You're no match for me.
(A Siri symbol appears on MePhone4S's screen.)
Siri	How dare you disrespect my master?
MePhone4S	I'll handle this, Siri. (to MePhone4) You better let me host again!
MePhone4	I'd never let you do that!
MePhone4S	Fine, if don't let me host, I'll just kill the glass of orange juice. (grabs a now-alive-and-full-again OJ)
MePhone4	(sarcastically) Oh god, OJ dead, I can't let that happen...
(OJ looks very offended.)
MePhone4S	So what it's gonna be?
MePhone4	Fine.
(OJ looks pleased.)
MePhone4S	Great! (throws OJ off screen, shattering him) I'm finally hosting Inanimate Insanity again!
MePhone4	Excuse me?
MePhone4S	Co-hosting, co-hosting. (laughs nervously as MePhone4 walks away) My news will have to wait. (walks away)
(The intro plays.)
(MePhone4 and MePhone4S are standing together in the Elimination Area.)
MePhone4	So, last time-
MePhone4S	Pickle and Taco rounded up the most eliminated contestants so they won immunity.
MePhone4	Hey, what gives? You totally cut me off!
MePhone4S	Suck it!
MePhone4	Oh, really? Well, I guess you won't co-host.
MePhone4S	No! I'm sorry! Please! Please!
MePhone4	Fine.
MePhone4S	We got 546 votes! That's a lot more than any time! 'Cause it's the most ever!
MePhone4	The prizes are lollipops! (pulls out a lollipop)
MePhone4S	No! The prizes are chainsaws! (pulls out a chainsaw)
MePhone4	Lollipops!
MePhone4S	Chainsaws!
MePhone4	Lollipops!
MePhone4S	Chainsaws!
MePhone4	Lollipops!
MePhone4S	You know what? We'll give them one of each!
(Taco gets thrown a lollipop and catches it with her mouth, eating it.)
Taco	Sour cre- (gets hit by a chainsaw and cut in half)
(Pickle dodges the chainsaw but is smacked in the face by the lollipop.)
Pickle	Hey, you can't do that!
MePhone4S	I just did!
MePhone4	OJ got 96 votes. He's safe!
MePhone4S	Here's your chainsaw!
(OJ dodges the chainsaw.)
OJ	Phew, that was- (gets shattered by the lollipop)
MePhone4S	So, it's down to Bow and Paper. The physical flat, and the personality flat. Both are annoying!
Bow	Hey! I'm not annoying, I'm just extremely funny and super, super popular. Right?
MePhone4S	Yeah, and your popularity got you the most votes, at 211!
Bow	Coolness! Wait, no. Sadness!
MePhone4	I've been waiting for this day ever since you joined!
Bow	No! My last chair, protect me!
(Bow holds out a chair in front of her to protect herself from the Fist Thingy, but the Fist Thingy breaks the chair and hits Bow, sending her flying with a scream. She lands in a box inside the cage with the other eliminated contestants on Idiotic Island 2. The box then closes. Cut back to the competition.)
OJ	Hey, why are you locking her in a box?
MePhone4	Just to make sure she doesn't escape and try to rejoin the show... again.
(Cut to Pickle and Taco.)
Pickle	I'm sorry, Taco, I just can't figure this out. I don't know what to do.
Taco	(angrily) Finland!
Paper	Maybe I could provide some assistance? It's the least I could do after acting evil towards you all.
Pickle	Do you know anything about lemons?
Paper	With a little psychotherapy, anything's possible!
OJ	Oh, great. Look, another one of my friends completely abandoning me for another person.
Paper	Oh, I was just going to help out Taco with her lemon problem.
OJ	That's nice, Paper, but, oh, sure. I didn't need help at all when I was completely empty of orange juice.
Paper	You know what, OJ? You're right. I'm sorry I never helped you with your problem after all these months.
OJ	Wow, really? Every other person who's ever been my friend has betrayed me or used me.
Paper	Well, I will help you through the rest of Inanimate Insanity, no matter what!
MePhone4	So, are you ready for-
Contestants	Yes!
MePhone4	Okay then.
MePhone4S	So what's the challenge?
MePhone4	It's Tile Terror! (A gigantic board covered with white tiles is shown.) A.K.A., that thing.
MePhone4S	Is it deathly and hilarious, especially when people die?
MePhone4	Not real-
MePhone4S	Boring! I say it's whoever can survive my Super Death Trap wins!
(Cut to the death trap, an obstacle course with sawblades, a crusher, and spikes above a pit of quicksand. Someone screams in terror. Cut back to the hosts.)
MePhone4	Fine, let's vote. Who wants to compete in MePhone4S's deathtrap, raise your hand.
(Only Taco raises her hand.)
MePhone4S	I swear, if I had any more chainsaws...!
MePhone4	Well, guess I surprisingly won. In my challenge, there are ten rows of four tiles. In each row, one tile is faulty. If you fall through, you have to start over. You must make it to the end to win. Pickle and Taco, you'll have an advantage for winning the last challenge: it's a hoverboard. (hands Pickle and Taco the hoverboard)
Pickle	Oh my god, that's amazing!
MePhone4S	Here, you and Taco could split it. (breaks the hoverboard in two) Here you go! (throws it to them)
Pickle	Sharing is caring! Wait a minute...
(A platform slides in underneath the contestants and catapults them onto the board.)
MePhone4	So get ready, go!
OJ	Okay, Paper, let's do this together.
Pickle	Can we skip tiles?
MePhone4S	Nooooooo!
Taco	Okay, then I'll use my lemons to crack the faulty tile and jump to the next one!
Pickle	But you-
Taco	Oh, right...
(Meanwhile, OJ and Paper have gotten some distance across the board.)
OJ	I think I have a quicker method!
(OJ grabs Paper and places him on the tile in front of him, without letting go. The tile falls out, and OJ puts Paper on the tile next to it, then jumps to the tile on the other side of the hole.)
Paper	Nice idea!
(Cut to Pickle and Taco, who have advanced by one tile.)
Pickle	Okay, I choose this one! (points to the tile in front of Taco) Taco, let's jump onto the same tile. (Taco looks concerned) Safety in numbers, right?
Taco	Um, I don't think-
Pickle	(picks up Taco) Jump!
(Pickle jumps onto a tile. After a moment, it falls. Pickle lands on the ground, and both Taco and the tile bounce off his head.)
Pickle	That... wasn't very safe.
(Cut to OJ and Paper. They are one tile away from the end.)
OJ	Hey, that was surprisingly easy!
Paper	But, only one of us get the immunity.
OJ	Oh no, not this again! Can we both win immunity?
MePhone4S	No, I hate victory! There must be as little of it as possible!
Paper	Here, OJ. I caused you a lot of pain this morning. You deserve this.
OJ	Paper, you're the best! (jumps onto the last tile)
MePhone4	OJ wins! Wow, that hasn't happened for a while.
MePhone4S	(to the other contestants) Look, you three lost, so you guys have to go through my death trap!
(Pickle falls onto the sawblades and squished by a crusher. Paper is impaled by a match and lit on fire. One side of the platform then falls off the cliff it's mounted on, causing him to fall into a pit of lava. Taco has gotten her tongue stuck on some spikes, and the platform turns upside down, causing her tongue to get ripped off as she falls into the lava.)
MePhone4S	Yay! My stereotypical evil personality finds this harshly amusing!
MePhone4	No, not "yeah"! You're being extremely cruel to everyone, and I've had enough.
MePhone4S	Hey! You're cruel to them too!
MePhone4	I'm not nearly as bad as you, so I'm putting you somewhere you can't hurt anybody!
MePhone4S	Wait, no! You can't! You need me!
MePhone4	I'm pretty sure I don't.
MePhone4S	Okay, I've had my fun. But you have to hear me out!
MePhone4	I'm good.
(MePhone4 snaps his fingers and the camera pans to a cage.)
MePhone4S	No! MePhone, you don't understand! He's coming, Mephone! Listen to me, he's co- (gets punched into the cage by the Fist Thingy)
MePhone4	Sorry about that, viewers, but it's time to vote now! Vote for either Paper, Pickle, or Taco. Voting ends September 8th.
(Vote for your least favorite contestant to be eliminated by commenting on this video Voting Ends on September 8th, 2012 Episode 16 Comes Out October 1st, 2012)
(The credits roll.)
(After the credits, the episode cuts to Apple alone on the first Idiotic Island.)
Apple	Hello? I'm still here!
(A 2 falls from the sky and splits Apple in half.)

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