The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch Quotes

“Grandma told me once that she’d forgiven him the eternal seventy times seven, but I don’t think forgiveness looks good on either of ‘um. It pains me to look at her.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“She often felt inconsequential in the world.
It was only the sunrise and sunset, the clouds steadily moving overhead that provided her with the perspective of God’s long brush-like movements on earth. A history, an accounting, and miraculous interventions were moving along at a steady pace. Even if she couldn’t see the changes, changes were certainly turning as the hands on the clock turn. Someone was watching and ticking marks on a ledger.
“Dear Father in heaven, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, my Redeemer.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“She could envision Jesus out on the stormy waves calling her to join him, and not be distracted by the laws of nature. She’d just need to keep her focus on the Savior and move forward in these tossing waves. To keep focusing on the watery sprays trying to sink her would be her undoing. As her father understood and often repeated, she now saw the storm warning. “You win some, you lose some.” Could Jesus defy natural consequences-gravity?”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“She could envision Jesus out on the stormy waves calling her to join him, and not to depend on the laws of nature. She’d just need to keep her focus on the Savior and move forward in these tossing waves. To keep looking down on the watery sprays trying to sink her would be her undoing. As her father understood and often repeated, she now saw the storm warning. “You win some, you lose some.” Could Jesus defy natural endings?”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“BIRDS MAKE TRICKY ESCAPES WHEN THINGS GO AFOWL”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“RECORDING THE PAST WITH A DULL PENCIL IS POINTLESS”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“WE LIKE VOLCANOS BECAUSE THEY’RE SO LAVABLE”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“THE OPPOSITE OF DEFEAT IS A SHOW OF HANDS”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“NO LITANY OF LOVE LIES WITH A PLEA OF RELEASE”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“A DOG THAT SWALLOWS AN ENGAGEMENT RING IS A DIAMOND IN THE RUFF”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“I DON’T HAVE THE THYME TO BE ROASTED TODAY”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“A surreal combination of revulsion and wonder overwhelmed her, the feeling of betrayal, the scrape of a bear’s claw. Being an adult child did not equip her to deflect the wound.
“Women ought to interview their prospective partner’s children, don’t ya think?” She muttered, “I mean, from their first marriage, to see if the man they say they want to marry is really the man they want to marry!”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“IF AN OTTER GETS INSIDE, YOU OTTER GET OUT THE SMELL!”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“CURIOUSLY, PEOPLE TRANSFORM INTO DRAGONS AT THE FLICK OF A CAPE”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“I SHOULD BE UPSET THAT A BURGLAR STOLE ALL
MY LAMPS, BUT I’M DELIGHTED!”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“It seemed Kaida was a bit too anxious about her mother's estate, all of it, to be exact. It worried Gail.
In a lucid moment, considering that Christmas was again approaching, Gail cleverly devised a quit claim deed giving her property to herself, Elsie, and Melanie with Kaida inheriting her mother’s share at her death. This would repair the damages done by her will. She filed this quit claim deed in a cabinet, meaning to ask an attorney about it with her potential bequests and concerns, but it slipped her mind. Instead, she shopped for gloves and slippers and bought other novelties that Christmas. She forgot to bring the deed to light.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“Kaida's attorney suggested a quit claim deed as the best vehicle for transferring Gail’s home into Kaida's name with a limiting clause for a life estate for Gail. The single page was drafted on his computer.
When Gail asked Kaida why her beneficiary deed and her will were not sufficient, Kaida told her the new “trust” was more complete. It ensured that Grant and Paige would finally inherit her property at the end of Kaida’s life. It would also substantially help her build Kaida’s credit back from the bankruptcy to have her name on the deed.
Gail certainly loved Kaida and her grandchildren. Gail trusted Kaida’s promise to care for her in her old age, and she believed their funds had become hopelessly co-mingled, so that sitting in the attorney’s office that day, she finally agreed to sign the trust document with a “joint tenancy life estate” on her property. It felt like a business transaction. It was only right to incentivize Kaida for her promise to care for her in her old age.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“Blinded, now, in more than one way, Gail made Kaida co-owner and the sole beneficiary of her home, secretly, away from her other daughters and their heirs.
Kaida told her children that she and Gail had created a “trust bequest” for them but advised them to keep the secret from the rest of the family.
When the Quit Claim Deed was filed in county records, it was returned to Kaida’s name, not to Gail.
Unfortunately for the rest of the family, this mother-daughter relationship had become so intertwined and interdependent, it was difficult to see which one was the host tree and which one was the strangler fig.
The tree, now grown tall, would bloom in the foreseeable future. Only a death certificate and affidavit needed to be filed in order for Kaida to claim her mother’s full estate.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“TO THE ONE WHO INVENTED ZED, ZERO, AND NAUGHT, THANKS FOR NOTHING”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“Fairytales do tend to "dragon.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“SEE DANCERS ON POINTE COMPETE IN THE BALL ARENA”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“A DESCRIPTED COMEDY IS MOST LIKELY A SILENT MOVIE”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“COMPRESSION SOCKS ARE A REAL HOSE TO PUT ON”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“Lugilla’s fingers reached to Precious’ hand, but Precious slipped her fingers from the table and placed them in her lap. “I hope you understand, though I trust you and you’ve been good to me, I cannot call you my friend – prob’ly ever – because we are from two separate worlds, Mrs. Sanders.”
Lugilla swallowed and tried to sip her tea. “I do. Believe me. I do. But do not hesitate to confide in me or say so if I’m not treating you fair like.”
“One day on the other side…”
“Yes, one day when Jesus wipes away all tears from our eyes, we will be like Him and we will be true friends, I’m sure of it.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“IF YOU LOVE CHRISTMAS THIS MUCH, JUST MERRY IT!”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“Two months later, Gail brought Bill home to meet her parents, and Beryl, a nervous mama having heard so much about the gallant Navy boy, served up her best pot roast with onions, a heap of buttery mashed potatoes with Gail’s favorite gravy, and boiled carrots for Sunday dinner. Before dinner was served, they sat on the porch and made homemade ice cream together. Gail sat on the ice cream bucket while Bill churned—abiding the flirting of Baby Lou and worldly Laila, though married with a baby.
The Navy boy couldn’t care less about the two sisters because he was busy pouring ice cubes and salt into the bucket, soon hidden again under Gail’s skirt.
Coalbert, the working boy, accompanied by his cute girlfriend, Ivy, wasn’t going to be outdone by a crew cut. He started making pig squeals and then said, “Come on, piggy, I wanna kiss you!” This was the story that humiliated Gail the most. She hated when Coalbert told stories from their Arkansas childhood.
“What’s with him?” Bill looked at Gail.
Coalbert took over and explained how Gail had fallen in love with the baby pigs they had bought to ward off starvation in Western Grove. “She’d run chasing them through the mud and shit, ‘Come on, piggy, I wanna kiss you!’”
Gail got off the ice cream bucket and walked into the house. Bill laughed and stayed on the porch with Coalbert and the sisters, shooting the breeze and catching up with stories to embarrass Gail.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“WATCH FOR POGO’S ABOUNDING SCHTICK
In February of 1957, Rich earned his next leave to visit Gail. The news did the job of making Gail’s choice glad.
She offered to meet him at the airport and watched curiously as he stepped off the plane wearing his casual blue airman suit.
“Nonstop?” Gail asked.
“Of course.”
“How does one get off a nonstop flight, Mr. Air Force, if it doesn’t ever stop?”
Rich stopped and looked Gail over. He didn’t get her joke.
“You have luggage?” she asked.
“Yes. One case. Over this direction.” He took her arm and led her down the corridor.
“Have you ever lost your luggage?”
“No. I haven’t flown commercially much.”
“I hear you can sue the airlines if they lose your baggage.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, but there’s no guarantee that you’ll win your case.” Gail skipped in front of her boyfriend and laughed in his face.
“What are you talking about, girl? I have no intention of suing the airlines.”
Gail’s teasing ceased. Rich obviously had no sense of humor. At least not her kind. Sobered, she let him take the lead.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“MORE ON THIS TIDY STORY AS IT UNFOLDS
“Here are your sheets, Mom, warm from the dryer. I’ll make us some lunch while you fold.”
Elsie knew not to do everything for her mother because getting her mother active would help her blood circulation and help dispel the swelling in her feet. She dropped the armload of laundry on the ottoman beside her mother’s lounger.
“I can’t fold sheets alone. Help me with these.”
Of course. What was she thinking? Elsie turned to grasp a couple corners of her mother’s queen-sized fitted sheet. “I need to relearn how to fold these things, anyway.”
Mother and daughter pulled and halved, tucked one corner inside another, and brought the ends together like partners in a square dance. Suddenly, Gail growled, “Oh!” Fed up, she grabbed the sheet from Elsie and wadded the whole thing into a roll. “I don’t remember how to do these things! Just stuff them into the linen closet, will you?” She laughed.
“Okay. I was hoping you’d teach me how to do it.”
“If you don’t know by sixty, daughter, it’s too late! My mom was always so good with linens. You should’a seen her linen closet. It was like the linen closets at Macy’s, all lined up. Mom took pride in her housekeeping, but I just don’t care anymore.”
Elsie was noticing how she no longer cared about much of anything either. The proverbial rug had been pulled out from under her, and though she went through the motions of taking Gail’s vitals, dispensing her meds and massaging her feet, they often had little to say to one another.
“Mom, why do you think the Bible says so often to remember this or remember that?”
“Does it?” Gail gasped, “—talk about remembering?”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“She should have taken a moment to do this little thing. Why had it skipped her mind?




With that small question, an answer crept to attention. “You were unpacking and putting your kitchen together. You were making dinner. For your husband. You were fixing your hair and putting on makeup to please him when he came home. Then, you were distracted and went to set the table for dinner…”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch

“Gail leapt from bed and went to sit in the tiny bathroom, seething with grief and anger. Then tears began to roll down her cheeks. To consider that her husband was arousing her as he spoke of his betrayal made her want to jump into the shower. That he expected this kind of arousal from her in a culture so far flung, confused her. The fact that he was not a virgin and further, that he hadn’t bothered to tell her this before the wedding, felt shameful.
Waves of rage washed over the building layers of regret for marrying Rich. The way he played with her in the telling of it!
His physical foreplay had readied her to try again, but now a sick feeling of remorse and hatred claimed her body. Gail stepped into the shower and steamed away her confusion, her disgust.
Gail wiped her tears and asked Rich to go sleep on the couch while in the same sentence informing him that she would be seeking counsel in the morning. She omitted saying what kind of counsel she would seek. She hardly knew herself.”
― Lynn Byk, The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch