Cosmo: Ladies and gentlemen! [the bell dings] In this corner, weighing in at 50 pounds, not counting his teeth, it's Timmy Tornado! [Timmy spins like a tornado and growls] And in this corner, weighing in at—
Cosmo: It's the Whirling Curler! [Wanda grabs Timmy with the big curl in her hair and jumps into the air]
Timmy: [as Wanda spins him around] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah! [Wanda throws him down. He crashes through the mat and loses a tooth]
Cosmo: Well, it's close, but I'm gonna have to give that round to Wanda! [the ring turns into Timmy's room. Timmy spits out floorboards]
Poof: [poking Timmy with a toy rocket] Poof! Poof? Vroom vroom?
Timmy: Aw, I can't play spaceman now, Poof. Your mom and I don't wanna miss the first beatdown between the Nuclear Nacho and the Blazing Burrito.
Wanda: Nuclear Nacho, here we come! [she, Timmy, and the hole he was in disappear. Cosmo comes by with a vacuum cleaner]
Poof: Vroom vroom?
Cosmo: Sorry, Daddy can't play with you now, Poof. Ooh, look! A tooth! [reaches for the tooth on the floor and gets sucked into the vacuum] Be out in a minute, Poof! I just gotta find my wand. [gets poked offscreen] Ow! Thumbtacks! [Poof becomes sad, then looks at the rocket and smiles. He poofs up a real rocket ship and blasts off, blowing off the house's front door and windows and blowing out a screaming Mr. and Mrs. Turner]
Queen Jipjorrulac: Bad morning, my king! Look at this sewage sculpture I made to immortalize your lovely hideousness. [the King quickly eats the sculpture and burps] But I spent the last six months making that!
Grippulon: [chews] Did you say something? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me chewing. Now fetch me some garbage bonbons! [the dejected Queen leaves. Cut to her feeding the King garbage bonbons]
Jipjorrulac: You know, sometimes I feel like everyone takes advantage of my kindly queenly nature.
Grippulon: Ridiculous! No one does that. [Mark's spaceship touches down]
Mark Chang: Mooooom! 'Sup? I've come to totally take advantage of your kindly queenly nature! I brought my clean laundry for you to dirty up!
Grippulon: She can't do your laundry now, Mark. She's feeding me bonbons!
Mark: She can't feed you bonbons. She's gonna do my laundry!
Grippulon: Bonbons! Bonbons! Bonbons!
Mark: Laundry! Laundry! Laundry!
Jipjorrulac: [screams] I wish someone would pay attention to my needs for a change! [Poof's rocket flies to Yugopotamia and crashes into the royal palace. Yugopotamians gasp. Poof comes out of the rocket and lands in the King's lap]
Grippulon: Aah! It's terrifyingly adorable! [whispering, giving Poof to the Queen] You take it! [the Queen screams and tosses Poof to another person, who screams and tosses him to someone else. This continues until Poof lands in the Queen's hands again and the King screams] Just keep the hideous beast away and I'll do anything you ask!
Jipjorrulac: Wait. Anything? [she blinks and makes a toothy grin, then tickles Poof] You just want a little attention, don't you? And so do I! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Poof: Poof poof!
Jipjorrulac: I'll take that as a yes! [coming out of the palace holding up Poof] People of Yugopotamia, behold your new emperor! [people slither away screaming]
Grippulon: [stammers] Wait, wait! Who says he's the new emperor?
Poof: Poof poof!
Grippulon: Fine, he's the new emperor! [hides behind the Queen] I'm too terrified to argue!
Jipjorrulac: The Emperor orders you to listen to everything I say and obey my every whim! And my first whim is for bonbons. [the King slithers into the palace sobbing]
Mark: This is so bogus! That's not a emperor. That's just Timmy Turner's magic little bro— [the Queen kicks him away and he bounces down the stairs to the palace and hits trash cans]
Jipjorrulac: I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship! [fade to the Turners' house. Timmy and Wanda appear]
Timmy: That wrestling match was awesome! I can't believe we caught a tooth! [there is a greenish, dented tooth in his hand]
Cosmo: Ah! A tooth? I'm collecting those! [sucks it into the vacuum and screams] Okay, now I'm collecting scars.
Wanda: Cosmo, what are you doing in the vacuum cleaner?
Cosmo: Vacuuming. Duh!
Wanda: And where's Poof? [a probe comes down from space and shows a hologram of Mark]
Timmy: Mark Chang?
Mark: No, dude, it's just a hologram of me. Ooh, hologram... Yo, Timmy, can you come to my planet pron-to and pick up your little bro?!
Wanda: Poof's on Yugopotamia?
Mark: Sha! He's makin' my mom act totally crazy! ...Er! Just get here quick! Help me, Timmy Turner. You're my only hope! Later... [disappears]
Probe: This probe will self-destruct in three seconds. [gets sucked up by the vacuum wand] Three, two, one. [explodes]
Cosmo: Well, on the bright side, I got a lot more teeth for my collection. [the vacuum falls over]
Wanda: Oh, my baby's on Yugopotamia! It's a cruel and dangerous planet! I can only imagine what horrible things they're doing to him! [cut to a parade on Yugopotamia. The King, the Queen, and Poof are on an imperial float]
Poof: [raising the toy rocket] Vroom! Vroom!
Yugopotamians: [raising toy rockets] Vroom! Vroom!
Poof: Woosh! Woosh!
Yugopotamians: Woosh! Woosh!
Jipjorrulac: That's right, citizens. The Emperor wants you to keep playing! And bowing to me! Or else... And keep fanning me, peon...
Grippulon: [waving fans] But my tentacles are cramping! [the Queen sticks Poof in his face and he screams] I mean, yes, my queen! [the Queen cracks a whip at Mark, who is drawing the float with a bridle]
Mark: So... very... bogus! [Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda appear behind the float]
Wanda: Wow, it looks like Poof's finally playing spaceman like he wanted to!
Mark: Turner! You're fi-nally here to get your little bro— [the Queen knocks him to the top of the stairs and he bounces down]
Jipjorrulac: I'm so sorry I can't let you take the Emperor.
Wanda: But he's not your emperor. He's my baby!
Jipjorrulac: Tough tentacles, lady! I sentence you, Timmy, and your... talking vacuum cleaner to spend eternity in the belly of the truly terrifying desert monster... Jeremy! [people gasp]
Timmy: Don't worry, guys. With a name like "Jeremy", how terrifying can he be? [cut to a pit with a big tentacled monster with two pairs of eyes. Timmy and Wanda scream. A guard knocks them and Cosmo off a plank on a hovering ship and into the pit. Cosmo lands on a ledge in the pit and Timmy hangs on to him and holds Wanda's hand]
Cosmo: Don't worry! I'll pull you out! Suction powers, activate! [screams as the vacuum sucks things in] Hot sand in my eyes! And who left a box of nails out here? [he falls off the ledge and everyone screams. Mark, standing on a hovering pod, grabs Cosmo]
Mark: Shya, dudes, this is no time to be playing with Jer-em-meh!
Timmy: Thanks for saving us, Mark! Now to get Poof back.
Cosmo: Can we stop somewhere first and suck up a doctor? [cut to Poof being tossed up by the Queen in the palace]
Poof: Poof poof!
Jipjorrulac: The Emperor commands, "Rub the Queen's feet."
Grippulon: But... you have so many of them! [the Queen sticks Poof in his face and he screams] I mean, yes, my queen! [Timmy and Wanda break into the room]
Jipjorrulac: You? You're alive?
Cosmo: Well, barely.
Timmy: And now we're finally taking Poof away from this crazy, nutzo planet!
Jipjorrulac: What makes you think he even wants to go with you?
Timmy: Poof, we're sorry we didn't play with you today. But you have to come home with us.
Wanda: We promise we'll play spaceman all you want.
Poof: Poof poooooof! [jumps toward Wanda]
Wanda: Baby!
Poof: [as Wanda hugs him] Ma-ma!
Timmy: Yeah, he wants to go with us. See ya!
Jipjorrulac: That's not what he said! The Emperor commands the guards to feed Timmy and his friends to Heather.
Timmy: Who's Heather?
Jipjorrulac: Jeremy's big sister. She's a teenager, so she's really cranky! [cut to Heather in a pit]
Heather: Like, I'm so cranky! [cut back to the palace]
Jipjorrulac: Guards! [Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda escape from the palace. Guards beam down from two ships and line the stairs]
Wanda: No one's separating me from my baby again! Time for a beatdown! [she jumps up, grabs Poof's rocket ship with her hair, and uses it to knock one ship into the other and send the two of them into a mountain]
Timmy: Okay, Poof! Let's play! [Poof uses his rattle, changing the scene to a wrestling ring. They and several guards are on the mat]
Cosmo: I'll get their weapons. Deep shag setting, activate! [the vacuum sucks in the guards' weapons and he shouts in pain. Poof bounces off a ring rope. A guard gasps and Poof kicks him in the face. Another guard gasps and Poof bounces off his face. More guards shout and Poof knocks them away]
Timmy: Tornado powers, activate! [he spins like a tornado and sucks up several guards, which end up in a heap that falls on the floor. Timmy jumps on top of them and Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appear beside him. The ring fades to inside the palace]
Poof: [to the Queen] Poof poof!
Jipjorrulac: Um... the Emperor says... uh... he still wants to stay with me?
Grippulon: Now, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer—
Cosmo: No, that one's in my spleen!
Grippulon: —but I'm beginning to think the Emperor isn't saying what you say he's saying.
Mark: Busted![the Queen knocks him down the stairs and he screams] Hate dropping down!
Jipjorrulac: I'm sorry! I made the whole thing up! He just wanted to play, and I... I wanted someone to pay attention to me.
Grippulon: Well, honey—why didn't you just say something?
Jipjorrulac: [as fire briefly appears in the surroundings]I did!
Grippulon: [blows out a flame on his beard] How 'bout I take you out to a romantic dinner at the sewage treatment plant?
Jipjorrulac: Well, that's a start... you big lug. [they kiss]
Mark: Parental displays of affection are most unsavory! [gags]
Jipjorrulac: [gives Wanda her wand] I'll miss you, hideously cute baby.
Poof: Poof poof! [hugs Timmy]
Timmy: C'mon, guys. I wanna go home and play with my awesome baby brother.
Cosmo: I gotta go home and empty my bag! If I suck up one more thing, I'm gonna explode. Ooh! A bonbon! [sucks in a garbage bonbon. The vacuum explodes, destroying the palace] Boy, that's a relief! [iris out on his face. The end title card is shown]
