South Park: Joining the Panderverse

South Park: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 | Bigger, Longer & Uncut | Specials: The Streaming Wars, Joining the Panderverse, (Not Suitable for Children), The End of Obesity

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

Liane: Are you still here? You need to get going.

Panderverse Cartman: I can't get going. I told you I don't feel well.

Liane: What's the matter now?

Panderverse Cartman: Oh, nothing, I just had explosive fucking diarrhea all night because you decided to get us KFC for dinner.

Liane: You have KFC all the time.

Panderverse Cartman: Yeah, and I have diarrhea all the time!

Liane: You're not staying home all day and playing Baldur's Gate 3. Now let's go.

Panderverse Cartman: Ugh!

Liane: Have a good day at school, sweetie.

Panderverse Cartman: Fuck you, Mom!

Randy: Hey, Siri, how do you fix a broken oven door?

Siri: Here's what I found from reference.com. Undo any screws that hold the hinges in position, pull the door upward and then outwards to detach hinges from the oven. Insert the new hinge into the hinge holes and secure the hinges with screws.

Randy: Hey, Siri, okay, can you do that for me?

Siri: Can I do what for you?

Randy: Can you fix my oven door for me? It's broken.

Siri: I cannot do that because I do not have arms. You will need to call a handyman.

Randy: The handyman isn't available. He's all, like, rich now and I fucking rely on him to keep everything working here!

Siri: I am unable to fix an oven door.

Randy: Oh, well, hey, Siri, I thought AI was supposed to be this amazing scary advancement that could, like, do anything.

Sharon: Hey, Randy, the oven door in the kitchen still isn't…

Randy: I am working on it! Hey, Siri, all the handymen are rich and I can't afford them anymore so what do I do?

Siri: Perhaps you could find an unlicensed worker who does small day jobs for cash.

[the alternate Cartman version of Kathleen Kennedy enters Bob Iger's boardroom of executives]

Kennedy Cartman: Is there a problem, people?

Male Executive: ...No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.

Female Executive: [nervously] We were just discussing, uh... ideas of what to do with the new Prince Eric movie.

Kennedy Cartman: [slams her fist down on table] Put a chick in it, make her gay!

Female Executive: Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy, uh... some of the execs are just expressing that maybe--

Bob Iger: Well, that maybe we should go a different route than we did with Indiana Jones.

Kennedy Cartman: [slams her fist down again] Fuck Indiana Jones!! Put a chick in it and make her lame and gay!!

Bob Iger: [feeling defeated] Sure, yeah. Well, let's try that... again...

Panderverse Stephen: Butters?! [opens the door] Butters! Why didn't you answer this door?

Panderverse Butters: Oh! Hey, Dad.

Panderverse Stephen: What are you doing up here? And why do you look so scared?

Panderverse Butters: Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just, uh, I'm just having fun.

Panderverse Stephen: Well, no having fun. You are grounded. Start being more miserable.

Panderverse Butters: Dad?

Panderverse Stephen: Yes, Butters?

Panderverse Butters: Uh, could you check under my bed and make sure Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?

Panderverse Stephen: Butters, what have I told you about being more mature? I can assure you Kathleen Kennedy is not under your bed!