Jump to content

Deadpool & Wolverine

From Wikiquote
Look, we know the title of this thing so I know what you're wondering: how are we gonna do this without dishonoring Logan's memory? Well, I'll tell you how. We're not.

Deadpool & Wolverine is a black comedy superhero 2024 film based on the comic book series of the same name and serves as a sequel to the 2018 film Deadpool 2.

Directed by Shawn Levy. Screenplay by Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Shawn Levy, Zeb Wells, and Ryan Reynolds.

Wade Wilson / Deadpool

[edit]
  • [narrating after mumbling the Marvel Studios fanfare.] Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! That logo music just gets you pumped! Right? I'm sorry, I'm just-- I'm excited to be here. It's been a while. You know, for a long time, I wasn't sure I'd ever be back. Disney bought Fox, there was a whole boring rights issue, blahbiddie-blahbiddie-blah. But then it turned out they wanted me! The one guy who shouldn't even have his own movie, much less a franchise. Marvel's so stupid! Look, we know the title of this thing, so I know what you're wondering: How are we gonna do this without dishonoring Logan's memory? And I'll tell you how: We're not.
  • I gotta be honest, I've always wanted to ride with you, Log. You and me, getting into it? Deadpool and Wolverine just fucking shit up! Can you imagine the fun? The chaos? The residuals?
  • There are 206 bones in the human body. 207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl.
  • I'm done. I'm done, and I'm fine with being done. Look, is sales the best match? Probably not. Is this the life I always imagined for myself? Fuck no! But this is the right fit for me, sugar bear. It is.
  • The Sacred Timeline. I assume I'm going to Marvel at how Cinematic it feels? Gratuitous cameos? Indiscriminate use of Variants, the whole package?
  • Suck it, Fox. I'm going to Disneyland. Get fucked!
  • I'm more of a "one week on, one week off" kinda guy. I think it's what they do in Denmark. You know, you'll never see a Danish flag on the moon, but... Goddammit, they're happy.
  • [Discovering Logan's comics-accurate X-Man suit] Ooh! Look at those jammies. That only took twenty fuckin' years!
  • I'm about to lose everything that I've ever cared about because that hairy thunder-cunt from down under-cunt finally dies, and he's standing right behind me, isn't he?! [to Wolverine] Welcome to the MCU, by the way. You're joining at a bit of a low point.
  • Behold! The precious head of your queen, Furiosa! I have the Wolverine! I alone control her! You come for me... you come for her!
  • Huh! Paul Rudd finally aged.
  • This isn't a car! This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey. Throttle response sucks a cock, dated infotainment system. When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia was making a comeback, they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete!
  • I did not lie, I made an educated wish!
  • I don't know anything about saving worlds. Why would I even care? Because my entire world is right here in this picture. It's only nine people and I have no idea how to save it alone. I know how to fuck people up for money, but you! YOU — know how to save 'em! At least the other Wolverine did... I guess I'm stuck with the worst one!
  • God, he loved his face! I can taste his final thought. He was so afraid...
  • You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma.
  • Everyone wants to matter. Turns out you don't need Marvel Jesus to do it. You just need to open your eyes and look around. And if you're lucky, you'll find a few friends. Old friends... And some new ones, too.
  • Turns out, I am the world-saving type. Just look around this table if you want proof. The best part? Sometimes, the people we save... Well, they save us right back.

James "Logan" Howlett / Wolverine

[edit]
  • You know what? You're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you or the X-Men, and they'll take fucking anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life and that says a lot 'cause I've been alive for more than two hundred fucking years, and I'll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing: You will never save the world! You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! Motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone, but it's one of GOD'S BEST JOKES THAT YOU CAN'T DIE, EXCEPT THAT'S ON ALL OF US! [Deadpool looks down, silently enraged] What, you got nothin' to say, MOUTH?!
  • I'm wearing this suit, and that means a lot of things, but most of all... it means I'm an X-Man. [to Cassandra] And I know your brother. As much as I wanna fucking kill you -- every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you! -- he wouldn't let me stand here and watch you die. [to Deadpool] Take your hands off. [to Cassandra] This is for him. This is for Charles.
  • You got a whole world to go back to. I got nothing. I got nothing. Give me this.
  • For the first time in my life, I'm proud to wear this suit. It means I'm an X-Man. I'm the X-Man.
  • Give me the fucking dog. Talk to the girl.

Cassandra Nova

[edit]
  • The Void is a paradise. I can wield my power here without shame. Unfortunately, I had no Charles Xavier to teach me temperance. What about your Charles? Did he protect you? Did he make you feel safe?
  • You're so lost, Mr. Wilson. And long before you came here.
  • You two escaping, I could live with. But coming back? Willingly? Boys are so silly.
  • I can't send you home unless you get this thing off my head! And as soon as you do that, I'm going to boil your brains on an atomic level whilst flicking my bean to the Enya box set.
  • When you come for the king, you better kill that king.
  • Hush! Mummy and Daddy are having a conversation. [sends Deadpool and Logan flying with a snap of her fingers]
  • You know, the funny thing is -- I was happy in the Void. You sent your trash to me, Alioth and I cleaned it up, everyone was happy. Then you had to go and piss on my side of the fence. And so now the fence must come down.

Others

[edit]
  • Happy Hogan: The problem might be that you're reaching a little too high. Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss, right? I think you got a good heart. I believe what you're saying. But not everybody's the world-saving type. I'm not, and I'm happy, right? I found my place. Find your place.
  • Blind Al: I pray every day that fire finds your body and finishes the job God didn't have the nuts to do!
  • Paradox: I have been tasked with overseeing the end of your universe and, regardless of what the pencil-pushers upstairs would prefer, I will not waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. We used to just prune these things -- Simple. Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA doesn't like to do that anymore. Well, I do. And no matter what my so-called superiors say, the multiverse does not need a babysitter. We need a mercy killer. And in this instance, I am the mercy killer!
  • Johnny Storm: You see anyone running, dick-for-brains? You're not gonna love what happens next.
  • Vanessa: Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee... Baby, you never got back up. I know you're going through something, let me go through it with you.
  • Gambit: I ain't know my daddy, but I'm sure I shot outta his dick ready. [...] Yeah, he was laying them buttery nuts all up in my mama and I shot out there and I said "what's up, doc?"
  • Laura Kinney / X-23: You remind me of him. Angry. Drunk. Mean. [...] Showed up when it mattered the most. Couldn't help it.
  • Blade: There's only ever been one Blade. There's only ever gonna be one Blade.
  • Gambit: You know how long I been waitin' for this? Woo, I'm about to make a name for myself here!
  • Blade: Some motherfuckers still trying to ice-skate uphill.
  • Pyro: Oh-ho-ho, you have no idea what it's like! Day after day, shovel the shit, "fetch the meats"! I have spent my entire exis-- [knocked out by Logan]

Dialogue

[edit]
Wade: I-- I care. I know I turn everything into a joke, but I care and I wanna use that feeling for something important. I-- I wanna matter. And to show my girl that I matter, and, um... Y'know, I feel like I'm wasting the good stuff here. Is the man not gonna be joining us?
Happy Hogan: "The man"?
Wade: Yeah. I should save this if he's gonna...
Happy: As far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man.
Wade: No.
Happy: The man is me. I am the man in this... circumstance. Eh, besi-- He doesn't do this kind of thing anymore.
Wade: Cameos?
Happy: Meetings.

Happy: You just said, moments ago, that you wanted to be an Avenger because "you need it".
Wade: Yes, sir, I do.
Happy: But the Avengers don't do the job because they need it, they do the job because people need them. Do you see the distinction?

Peter: We're human beings, we crave purpose. After all, we're Deadpool!
Wade: Please stop saying that; we're not Deadpool. I'm not even Deadpool anymore.
Peter: Well, if you're gonna have a mid-life crisis, go big! A few years ago, a friend of mine got his nipples pierced with a titanium chain that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson.

Blind Al: Wanna do some cocaine?
Wade Wilson: Hey! Cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off-limits.
Blind Al: What about Bolivian Marching Powder?
Wade: They know all the slang terms; they have a list.
Blind Al: Even snowboarding?
Wade: Even disco dust.
Blind Al: White Girl, Interrupted?
Wade: Even Forrest Bump.
Blind Al: Booger sugar?
Wade: I wouldn't even try "powdered go-nuts".
Blind Al: Do you want to build a snowman?
Wade: Yes! But I can't!

Wade: Birthdays -- boy, uh, every spin around the moon is a new adventure indeed.
Blind Al: Sun, dumbass!
Wade: Okay, round-earther! Where was I?
Colossus: The adventure of life.
Wade: Right, um... it's been a challenging few years. Been through a lot -- a change of life.
Buck: Menopause?
Wade: Bitch, are you improv-ing?
Dopinder: Mm-mm.
Buck: I'm sorry.
Wade: I'm sorry that you had to see that, Yukio.
Yukio: It's okay.
Wade: Yeah... But I'm happy. And, you know, that's be-- that's... because of each and every one of you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how proud I am, how grateful I am to be standing in a room with every single person I love. I'm the luckiest man alive.

Paradox: I brought you here to offer you an opportunity -- the opportunity you sought years ago but for which you were not ready. We believe you're ready now. Ready for a chance to leave your timeline and join the greatest universe of all. I am about to give you the thing you always wanted.
Wade: Oh, I smell what you're stepping in. The power in the Marvel Universe is about to change forever. I am the Messiah. I. Am. Marvel Jesus.

Wade: Where do I sign?
Paradox: Oh, there's no need for paperwork.
Wade: Good! Not to brag, but I do not read.

Deadpool: You're gonna Old Yeller my fucking universe?
Paradox: Mmm, in your parlance, yes. Two in the heart, one in the head.

[Deadpool impaled two Minutemen in their crotches with Wolverine's claws.]
Deadpool: Sorry! Wolverine-ing is hard!
Minuteman: Make it stop!
Deadpool: Mangold tried!
Minuteman Leader: You sick fuck! Logan was a hero, and the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of Canada!
[Deadpool removes the skeleton's claws out of the crippled Minutemen. Then, he throws his katana in the ground, as it bounces straight to the leader's mouth, killing him]
Deadpool: Get my country's name out of your fucking mouth. And my sword. Gimme that.

Deadpool: Oh, yes. Yes. Classic John Byrne brown and tan. Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit, you know?
[The Wolverine variant unsheathes his claws and Hulk can be seen roaring through the reflection of his claws. Deadpool turns to see Hulk is right behind him.]
Deadpool: I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, and I will not--
[Hulk smashes Deadpool through a fallen tree.]

Deadpool: You know, from behind, you look a little bit like Henry... [The Wolverine variant turns to reveal that he's played by Henry Cavill] Oh my fuck! The Cavillrine. The legends are true. And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity, this just feels right! We will treat you so much better than those shitfucks down the street!
Cavillrine: You were just leaving.
Deadpool: No, sir! Not while the fate of my universe is at--
[Cavillrine unsheathes his claws by reloading his fists, then Superman punching him through a wall.]

[SNIKT! Wolverine's claws slowly emerge. Too slowly.]
Deadpool: Oh. Whiskey dick of the claws. It's quite common in Wolverines over forty.
Logan: You don't want this.
Deadpool: You're right, I don't. And unless you wanna take a deep breath through your fuckin' forehead, I suggest you reconsider. Let's go, peanut.

Deadpool: One anchor being coming right up! On your left, babygirl! This Logan is the same -- he can do anything, even musicals, look! And bonus: He's actually wearing a costume like he's not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once.
Paradox: I don't understand.
Deadpool: You said my universe is dying because this sack of nuts got himself killed. Well, problem solved.
Paradox: My God. You think you can actually replace an anchor being? With this?! I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine, bee-tee-dubs, but you have outdone yourself and brought me the WORST Wolverine!
Deadpool: What do you mean, the worst one?
Paradox: Mister Wilson... this Wolverine let down his entire world. He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. And what he did... Well, some things are just beyond forgiveness.

Deadpool: Were you even listening back there?! We don't make it back to that Mr. Paradox asshole, everyone I fuckin' know is gonna die.
Wolverine: Not my fuckin' problem.
Deadpool: Oh, is that all you got? Is that what you said when your world went to shit?!
Wolverine: Come again?
Deadpool: Yeah, I heard all about you -- how you screwed up everything? You should be thanking me for pulling me out of that bed you shit in.

Deadpool: Alright! Fuck it! Let's give the people what they came for!
Wolverine: Let's fucking go.
Deadpool: [turns to camera] Get your special sock out, nerds. It's gonna get good.

Deadpool: Dear God, it's him.
Wolverine: Who?
Deadpool: The one. The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or molly. A white guy's answer to all the disappointments in another A-Lister. [to the mysterious variant, played by Chris Evans] Fair warning, gorgeous: You're gonna encounter some indelicate language, a smidge of assplay, but we've been prohibited from using cocaine. On camera.

Sabretooth: Ready to die?!
Deadpool: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time! [to Logan, who has two katanas impaled through his chest and back, and a knife stuck in his shoulder] You look ridiculous! [he begins pulling them all out] People have waited decades for this fight. It's not gonna be easy. Baby knife! You shoot the double, you take him down. Side control. Then full mount, and ya ground and pound 'til he makes no sound because he's dead--
Wolverine: Shut the fuck up.
Deadpool: Oh, my God... Okay, good luck! I'm a huge fan.

Deadpool: How long was I asleep?
Wolverine: Not all of you was asleep.

[After Cassandra Nova flays Johnny Storm (Chris Evans)]
Deadpool: Not my favorite Chris.
Wolverine: You stupid piece of shit, you just got him fuckin' killed!
Deadpool: Hey, we're ALL grieving! P.S., do you know what he was doing to the budget?!

Deadpool: You know, in my world, you're, um... You're well-regarded.
Wolverine: Yeah, well, not in mine.
Deadpool: Yeah, they don't like me much in mine, either.
Wolverine: You don't say?
Deadpool: I wanted to be something, you know? I... Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger.
Wolverine: Fuck the Avengers.
Deadpool: Yeah. I didn't make the cut, though. Same with the X-Men. Then my girlfriend left me, and I just--
Wolverine: You had a girlfriend?
Deadpool: Yeah! Vanessa. When we met, she was a dancer. We had a whole life. It was good. But oh boy, I just-- mwah. Fucked that right up. But you? You were an X-Man. Fuck that, you were the X-Man, you... The Wolverine! He was a hero in my world.
Wolverine: Yeah, well... he ain't shit in mine.

Deadpool: Look, mijo. I know you're hurting. My blind, elderly African-American roommate Blind Al always says that pain teaches us who we are. Sometimes, we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it.
Wolverine: Holy shit.
Deadpool: Yeah, she's wise!
Wolverine: No, no, no, that's her name? You call her "Blind Al"?
Deadpool: Well, she's blind.

Deadpool: Why are you so nice?
Nicepool: Well, it costs nothing to be kind.
Wolverine: Shutting the fuck up is also free.
Nicepool: Caliente.

Wolverine: Did you say you made an educated fucking wish?!
Deadpool: They call me "the Merc with the Mouth". They don't call me "Truthful Timmy, the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon".
Wolverine: One more word. Please, give me one.
Deadpool: Gubernatorial. [Wolverine raises his fist, causing Deadpool to flinch]
Wolverine: You know what? You're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you or the X-Men, and they'll take fucking anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life and that says a lot 'cause I've been alive for more than two hundred fucking years, and I'll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing: You will never save the world! You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! Motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone, but it's one of GOD'S BEST JOKES THAT YOU CAN'T DIE, EXCEPT THAT'S ON ALL OF US! [Deadpool looks down, silently enraged] What, you got nothin' to say, Mouth?
Deadpool: [hiding his anger, calmly] I'm gonna fight you now.
Wolverine: [wheezily chuckles] Oh, are you? [Deadpool throws a punch in far more rage, violence, and aggressiveness than before, causing Wolverine's nose to bleed] Oh, you motherf-[a very, VERY lengthy fight ensues as the two duke it out]
[After the initial Honda Odyssey brawl]
Deadpool: I take it all back, the Honda Odyssey fucks hard. Too bad you don't, needle dick.[motions for a round two]
Wolverine: Oh, we're just getting started, bub.

Deadpool: Look at you all! You must be the others. Terrific. So, just to refresh, you are Wonder--
Elektra: Elektra.
Deadpool: Elektra, yes, who could forget? And you! I was not expecting to see you here, I thought you were, y'know... [in an impression of Snipes] retired.
Blade: Retarded?
Deadpool: "Retired". I'm already in the Void, I'm not trying to get cancelled again.
Blade: I don't like you.
Deadpool: You never did. And who's this succulent reminder of my own inadequacies? Look at you. You look like the superhero version of Hawkeye.
Gambit: [through a mild Cajun accent] The name's Remy Lebeaux. Le Diable Blanc. But you can call me the Gambit.
Deadpool: It's been a while since I've seen Sling Blade. Hit me again.
Gambit: They call me the Gambit.
Deadpool: Do they? Are you sure you didn't just really, really want them to, but it never quite worked out?

Elektra: I'm sick of this shit, sick of hiding. Let's face it, our worlds forgot about us.
Gambit: Or never learned about us.
Elektra: The heroes we were.
Blade: Lives we saved.
Gambit: Or wanted to save.
Elektra: Maybe these two are our chance to be remembered the way we deserved.
Deadpool: Yes.
Elektra: An ending.
Blade: Legacy.

Laura: I got to have a life because of you. I got to grow up because of you. A lot of kids did.
Wolverine: A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me. Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.
Laura: That suit says different.
Wolverine: You like it? Scott used to beg me to wear it. So did Jean, Storm, Beast. All of 'em. They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn't. Told 'em they all look fuckin' ridiculous, and... I couldn't have 'em thinking I wanted to be there. And one day, while I was off on my own, the humans came and went mutant hunting.
Laura: I can guess the rest.
Wolverine: No, no, let... Let me say it. I, I need to say it. By the time I stumbled home, shitfaced from the bar, it was too late. They were dead, every... And this suit's all I've got to remind me of who they were. And what I did.

Logan: I walked away. They called after me, and I... I walked away. I always do.
Cassandra: I know. But that's not all you did, is it? You found them. The X-Men.
Logan: Dead. Piled like wood.
Cassandra: What did you do?
Logan: I started killing. And I couldn't stop. I didn't wanna stop.
Cassandra: All those bad men...
Logan: It's not just the bad ones.
Cassandra: My little animal.
Logan: I turned the whole world against the X-Men. Just once, I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was.

Cassandra: My brother loved you?
Wolverine: He loved all of us.
Cassandra: Must be nice.
Wolverine: He would've loved you, too. If he knew about you. If he knew where you were, he would've torn a hole in the fucking universe to bring you home.
Cassandra: This is my home.
Wolverine: Well then at least let us save his.

Child: Holy shit. That's Deadpool.
Child 2: And that's Wolverine.
Deadpool: You're damn straight it is! Fox killed him. Disney brought him back, they're gonna make him do this 'til he's 90!

Cassandra: Now, you put all these bullets in my belly... And I'm gonna find out why.
Pyro: Whoa, whoa, w-- I'll just say it! You don't have to stick your fingers in me. Jesus, just ask sometimes!
Cassandra: Fine!

Deadpool: [about Dogpool] Hey, do not insult this animal's autonomy. She can decide who her papa is. What's it gonna be, girl, huh? Original Recipe? Or Van Milder here?
Nicepool: Ah, that's funny! I can gently tap the fourth wall, too. [looking directly at the camera] The Proposal.
Deadpool: The fuck was that? [sounding slightly offended] Bitch, you think that's what I do?

Deadpool: Deadpool Prime here! Our fight isn't with you!
Kidpool: Hey! When I want your opinion, I'll take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth!
Nicepool: That's Kidpool, she's the dirtiest.
Deadpool: Can we just be done?!
Ladypool: Ooh, we're just getting started...
Deadpool: No, no, no, no, no, with the whole multiverse thing! It's not great. It's just been miss after miss after miss! Look, The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first, and they did it best -- the gays knew it! But we didn't listen! Let's just take the L and move on!
Nicepool: I think it's been steadily great since Endgame!

[As Wolverine pulls his cowl down]
Deadpool: Holy shit! You save the good stuff for special occasions?
Wolverine: Killing, mostly.
Deadpool: What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles? Sorry! Just a catty bitch when I'm jealous. Let's do this. Maximum effort.

Wolverine: Whoever it is you think I am, you got the wrong guy.
Laura: You were always the wrong guy. Until you weren't.

Paradox: I warned them that they would be completely obliterated, but they went! But they went anyway, like... Like heroes. Because that's who they were. They just did what they had to do, with no concern for their own safety. The fact that we are all still standing here is a testament to their heroism! Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do to bring them back now.
Deadpool: He has risen, babygirl!
Paradox: FUCK!

B-15: I wanna show you something. Something huge.
Deadpool: That's what Scout Master Kevin used to say.

Wade: So what are you gonna do next?
Logan: I'll figure it out. I always do.
Wade: Alright. So I'll probably see you around?
Logan: Probably not. See you, bub.

Vanessa: You've been busy.
Wade: I did it for you. Even if you don't want me, I... I did it for you.

[in a recording from an earlier scene]
Johnny Storm: In the Void, you're either food for Alioth, or you work for her.
Deadpool: Go on, Johnny.
Johnny Storm: And I'll tell you who "her" is. Cassandra Nova. A megalomaniacal, psychotic asshole. A finger-lickin', dead inside pixie slab of third-rate dime store nut milk. And I'll tell you what she can do!
Deadpool: I'm listening.
Johnny Storm: She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. In fact, I don't give a shit if she removes all my skin and pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon! If the last thing I do in this god-forsaken, cum-gutter existence is light that fuck-box on fire, I still won't die happy.
Deadpool: Holy shit, girl, you crazy!
Johnny Storm: That's right, Wade. I won't be happy until I've urinated on her freshly barbecued corpse and husk-fucked the charred remains while gargling Juggernaut's Jugger-nuts.
Deadpool: Wow!
Johnny Storm: And you can quote me.
Deadpool: 'kay.

Quotes about Deadpool & Wolverine

[edit]
  • I was sitting on a beach, not a care in the world, and for some reason, the thought came into my head: What do you want to do? And the first two things had nothing to do with work—then literally, I thought: Deadpool-Wolverine. I want to do that movie. That’s what I want.
  • Initially, we had a very loose idea of how we would bring Wolverine back in ways that don't necessarily interact or interfere with Logan and that legacy. I know Kevin, like Shawn and I and Hugh, were all very concerned about that. We really needed to protect that and still allow us to tell the most full-throated Wolverine story we could ever imagine, which for us was just a huge nerve-wracking privilege.
  • Hugh’s performance gives the movie a gravitas and a raw, soulful quality that is unbelievable, and I can't say much more without spoiling it. It's among the things that differentiate the movie from prior X-Men or Deadpool movies. The duo differentiates it. The fact that Logan is with a comedic engine for the entirety of the movie changes everything.

Cast

[edit]

See also

[edit]
[edit]
Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: