¡Mucha Lucha!

¡Mucha Lucha! (2002-2005) is an American animated television series created by Eddie Mort and Lili Chin. The series focuses on three young masked wrestlers named Rikochet, Buena Girl, and The Flea.

Rikochet: A true luchador knows the only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and bullies.

---

The Flea: Que paso, Rikochet. Long time, no see.

Rikochet: Flea, how many times have I told you to stay out of my garbage? Now come on, we're gonna be late for school.

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that size does not matter. Weight does!

---

Buena Girl: Look out, Rikochet, they're using logic against you.

The Flea: Logic?! No! No, no! Anything but that! Logic gives The Flea brain pain!

---

Buena Girl: Hmm. Rikochet, you're only a dishonorable 300 pounds instead of 650! You should be ashamed! All our hard work for nada.

The Flea: Wait, The Flea has the answer. The Flea's parents are having an all-you-can-eat buffet at The Flea's family restaurant. Rikochet can eat The Flea's family out of house and hold.

Buena Girl: Prepare to meet your destiny!

Rikochet: A true luchador's signature move cannot be taught, it comes from deep within like gas.

The Flea: A true luchador knows that good or bad isn't something you are, but a choice you make. Like flour or corn tortilla.

Buena Girl: A true luchador knows that today is the only yesterday of tomorrow, whereas tomorrow is the today of tomorrow.

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that some people are only happy when they're angry, but if being angry makes them happy, won't that make them mad or something?

The Flea: A true luchador knows that an enemy is just a friend who… doesn't like you and is mean to you all the time.

---

Buena Girl: You're late. I had to wait with The Flea.

The Flea: Yeah?! Well, The Flea had to wait with The Flea, too, and The Flea is not too happy about that, either. It is always the same. The Flea is always there. The Flea wears my clothes. The Flea sleeps in my bed. The Flea thought to get a moment alone, but NO!!! The Flea is right there, right beside The Flea!

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that it takes much more than a mask to be a masked wrestler. But you really need the mask.

---

Rikochet: If anybody sees me without my mask, I'll be kicked out of school! I'll disgrace my friends, my family, the entire tradition of masked wrestling! I can't let that happen! [walks up to Flea's house] I need someone who's good enough to be my friend, but low enough to bend the rules. [pulls out a bush and hides in it] I need the cleanest, dirty wrestler there is. I need The Flea! [rings the doorbell]

The Flea: [dashes over to the front door and opens it] The Flea already told you! The Flea family doesn't want any stinkin' cookies!

---

Headmistress: Ooh, wait. Someone is breaking the rules. Could it be… that boy has no mask on?!

Rikochet: [worried] Aye. The Headmistress! If she catches me without a mask, she'll throw me out of school! [turns to Flea] Flea, if I ever needed you, I need you now.

The Flea: A true luchador knows that having a monster toilet around really stinks.

---

Mr. Flea: Why is The Flea playing in the new Flea family toilet?

The Flea: The Flea is not playing… this time. The toilet is cursed! Cursed, The Flea tells you!

Mrs. Flea: That's nice, dear Flea.

Mr. Flea: Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Flea have to go out, now.

Mrs. Flea: Flea, take care of Pulguita. Oh, and it has been three months. Tonight is shower night!

The Flea: NO! Anything but that! Not… shower night!

Buena Girl: A true luchador knows that the greatest victory is making a new friend, even if that friend is ancient monster trying to take over the world.

---

Buena Girl: You have to get up, Rikochet! For the sake of your mask, for the sake of my mask, for the sake of all the masks of every boy and girl whose dreams have been crushed by a legendary 5,000-year-old mummified queen of terror! YOU CAN DO IT, RIKOCHET!!!

Rikochet: A true luchador knows the value of family. No matter where you when you call them, they've got to come pick you up.

The Flea: A true luchador always consults The Code of Masked Wrestling, even though the print is small and there are no pictures or nothing.

---

Buena Girl: Compadres, look! We stand before the man who founded the school and wrote "The Code of Masked Wrestling." El Fundador.

Rikochet: Buena Girl, it's a portrait. It's not gonna help us.

El Fundador: Hello, there.

Buena Girl: A true luchador flosses for the honor of good dental hygiene, not for some trophy or plaque. Plaque. Get it?

---

Buena Girl: I… I… I got braces!

Rikochet: Oh, really? You…hardly noticed. Isn't that right, Flea?

---

Buena Girl: Oh, look, Rikochet. I had perfect teeth.

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that manhood is not about a grande body, but a grande heart. But not so grande, it can't fit into your body.

The Flea: A true luchador always offers the hand of friendship even to a stupid fish who can't even shake it.

Rikochet: A true luchador has, on his face, a mask; on his body, a sequent unitard; and on his feet, boogie shoes!

---

Headmistress: Nobody move! You, Rikochet. You put La Flamencita's partner out of action!

El Rey: A true luchador comes in all shapes and sizes, even made of plastic and with action kung-fu grip!

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that music is the hot sauce in the burrito of life. And sometimes, a little can go a long way.

---

Headmistress: [popping her head out from her office] You there, with the band! You're LATE!!! Detention!

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Rikochet: [furiously fed up] THAT'S IT!!! [to the mariachi band] I thought having my own mariachi band would be caliente, but you got me beaten up, and now you got me detention for a YEAR!

Rikochet: [bouncing around in his pinball signature move] A true luchador rolls with the punches no matter what shapes he's in. But it helps to be, you know, round?

---

Rikochet: I got expelled from school, I rolled away from my friends when they needed me the most, I've been kicked around and partially buried. A pinball gets no respect. A pinball gets no love. [breaks down, in tears of sorrow] A pinball is only a forgotten plaything. I'm useless, completely useless!

Buena Girl: A true luchador never gives up on anything, especially yourself. And family. And donuts.

---

Rikochet: Flea, this is serious. Masked Wrestling is everything to Buena Girl. We have to help her.

The Flea: No problema. One magnetic and outgoing smile from The Flea, and all will be well.

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that the price you pay for stealing is much higher than the price you pay for, uh, just paying.

The Flea: A true luchador must never be two-faced. After all, he's only got one mask! [laughs]

---

Buena Girl: You should be ashamed picking on poor little Chinche like that!

Rikochet: Flea, he's your cousin. Get it together.

Buena Girl: A true luchador is always innocent until proven guilty, unless it's The Flea. In which case, there's a good chance that he probably did it.

---

Headmistress: [approaches her office and finds all the luchadores there; shocked] What is going on?!

Sr. Hasbeena: Huh? Most Lucha funky.

Headmistress: Who told you all to come to my office?

Luchadores: Sr. Hasbeena.

Sr. Hasbeena: But-but-but… I didn't! Most uncool.

Headmistress: You, Sr. Hasbeena! YOU'RE EXPELLED!

Mr. Midcarda: You can't expel him, he's a teacher.

Headmistress: Questioning my authority? YOU'RE EXPELLED!

Rikochet: A true luchador knows that friendship means sometimes you must take your best friend to the vet to be worn.

The Flea: [popping out in the title card] No!

Rikochet: Not you, Flea.

---

Rikochet: Masked Dog, you've got fleas, [glares at Flea] thanks to The Flea. And having fleas is unhealthy. Fleas carry disease, and they're really ugly.

Rikochet: [emerging from of the water, gasping for air] A true luchador is never lost, he's just taking the scenic route.

Buena Girl: Flea, let's go! [sighs] Keep your friends waiting on the Lucha bus when it's time to go home, it's so not buena. Where is he?!

Rikochet: Dumpster diving. He saw Skelantonio toss out a bag of half eaten donuts.

---

Bus Driver: Hey, no super-natural transformations on the bus, or eating! Out you go.

Bueno Flea: Señora Bus Driver is quite right. The Flea scoffed once too often at her regulations and rules. Yet, they are muy importante.

Rikochet: Buena Girl, you're not supposed to be in here! This is the boys' room.

Buena Girl: What difference does that make?

Rikochet: Hello, weren't you in health class?

---

Rikochet: Hey, what's the lineup for?

Protozoa: For saving the honor of the school. The Masked Toilet is undefeated. Someone has to beat it!

The Flea: It is just like I told you! The Masked Toilet is back and he wants REVENGE!

Buena Girl: Come on, Flea, you have to learn to face your fears.

Rikochet: That's right, Flea. All true luchadors know that the key to victory is inside yourself.

The Flea: The Flea sees many gaping holes in El Gundamo's poorly planned plan.

Rikochet: Come on! We have to work together!

The Flea: [jumping into action] The Fabulous Flea Fling! [leaps onto the giant sushi monsters and farts on them]

Rikochet: Looks like giant sushi monsters have natural defenses against The Flea's natural stenches.

Buena Girl: Buena Gavel of Righteousness!

Rikochet: Spinning Top!

---

Buena Girl: Whoa, King Prawn's got game.

Rikochet: MAMA!!! Have you seen my El Rey mask buffer? [Mama Manaica walks over to the counter to wash the coffee off her face with a towel] Mama, have you seen my mini Lucha Dome with 323 movable parts?

Mama Manaica: When was the last time you cleaned your room?

Rikochet: Clean my room. Uh, I think, uh… May, July, October… this morning! [sweating anxiously] Yeah, that's it. Uh… this morning.

Mama Manaica: Rikochet, you cannot find anything in your room, because it looks a P-I-G, "pig" is living in there.

Rikochet: But, mama, my room is so neat…

Mama Manaica: So show me.

Rikochet: Uh… You don't need to see it. You're far too busy. Well, time to go. [tries to walk away]

Mama Manaica: [stopping him] Rikochet! I am never too busy for my family.

---

[As Rikochet opens his bedroom door to prove his mom that's is all nice and clean, junk flies out everywhere and all around the house]

Mama Manaica: Rikochet?

Rikochet: [nervously] Yes, mama?

Mama Manaica: [shouting angrily] CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

Rikochet: What are you doing?!

The Flea: The Flea is making the best of a good situation, for your own good. Someday, you'll be as famous as your papa. Today, you'll find out what to expect.

Buena Girl: Flea, don't you think it'd be better if Rikochet earned this adulation on his own through practice, dedication, and hard work?

The Flea: What good is practice, dedication, and hard work that's for fame, fortune, and food, huh?

[Later that evening during dinnertime at the Flea family house…]

Mrs. Flea: Mrs. Flea ran into Sr. Hasbeena at the market, and he told Mrs. Flea all about how you drowned Skelantonio in your first match.

Mr. Flea: Mr. Flea and Mrs. Flea are so proud of their Pulguita, knowing she will carry on the family tradition with honor.

Mrs. Flea: You can skip your dinner tonight and go straight to Mrs. Flea's famous flan!

Flea: But what about The Flea? [a scoop of peas are poured onto his plate] What is this?! What are these tiny green balls?! They frighten The Flea!

Mrs. Flea: Those are peas. The Flea must eat vegetables if he wants to grow up big and strong like his hermanita.

---

[Next day at school, around lunchtime…]

The Flea: "Pulguita this and Pulguita that." Who do you think taught her all those Flea-like moves? The Flea, that's who! Who is she to outshine The Flea?

Rikochet: She's your sister, that's who.

Buena Girl: Besides, how can she outshine you? You're still the big Flea on campus.

The Flea: [while getting shrunk] The room, it's getting bigger! [falls to the ground, sits up, and looks around, realizing he's been shrunk] No! It is The Flea who has gotten smaller!

The Flea: [voiceover through letter] "Dear Rikochet and Buena Girl, The Flea and Masked Dog hate baths. We are going to find a place where our filth can be appreciated. Goodbye forever."

Rikochet: [shocked] Oh, no, Buena Girl! Flea and Masked Dog have run away!

Buena Girl: Flea, this is like a dream come true!

The Flea: Well, falling into a dumpster of chili cheese fries is a dream come true, but The Flea thinks this is pretty great! How's Rikochet doing?

Buena Girl: It's all buena.

Rikochet: [standing in the middle of the street, wearing a donut costume; disappointed] Public relations had called it. Ay, basura.

---

Rikochet: Why would they build a donut shop there, when they have a Slammin' Donuts right here?

El Perrito: Hey, everyone! There's a new donut shop across the street. They're giving away free donuts!

Rikochet: Say hello to a brand new me!

Buena Girl: Huh?!

The Flea: [gasps] What the…?!

[Rikochet is revealed to have his head shrunk]

Rikochet: [after Buena Girl turns off the TV] Hey! Why'd you do that?

Bunea Girl: It's just not right.

The Flea: The Flea agrees. Onion juice should be in a mug.

Buena Girl: Flea, that's not what I meant.

---

Mr. Midcarda: Today's tag-team match features; Francisco of the Forest… El Loco Mosquito… and Cindy Slam… VS. Rikochet…

Rikochet: Let's Lucha!

Mr. Midcarda: …The Flea…

The Flea: The Flea is ready.

Mr. Midcarda: …And Buena Girl!

Buena Girl: Then I'm shooting a commercial at 11:00, and after that, I have a meeting with my agent.

Rikochet: Where's Flea?

Buena Girl: He's probably putting his initials in the high score.

Maya Moderna: [laughing] You should take better care of your things, Rikochet.

Rikochet: Okay, Maya, we need the trophy!

Maya: So do I!

Rikochet: For what?

Maya: For THIS!

Buena Girl: That is so not buena! Street Sweeper of Surrender!

Headmistress: Flea! Those churros are for the school fundraiser, not for eating!

[Rikochet slaps Flea in the back of his head, making him spit the churro out into the box]

Buena Girl: [disgusted] Eww.

Headmistress: Each of you little luchadors will have to sell a box churros and turn in the proceeds at this Friday's fund fair to raise money for underprivileged intercity luchadors. Those of you who do not sell your churros, must return them to me, personally, OR ELSE! As for the rest of you, carnival rides and festival fun. [all the luchadors cheer] Now go and SELL!

---

Buena Girl: Look at all the money we made for the under-privilege intercity luchadors.

Rikochet: Lucky for us, no one can resist these sugary fatty snacks.

The Flea: [sniffles sadly] Especially The Flea. And now The Flea must leave the country.

Buena Girl: Didn't you earn any money?

The Flea: The belly is full, but the pockets are empty.

Buena Girl: Hate to do this to you, Flea!

The Flea: The Flea hates to do this to you as well!

Tibor: No, we hate to do it to both of you!

Buena Girl & The Flea: Huh?

Tibor: We challenge you both, arrrgh!

El Loco Mosquito: We are taking over the student council in a three-on-two match!

Mr. Midcarda: Uno, dos, tres! Protozoa wins!

The Flea: And The Flea loses.

Headmistress: This makes five losses in a row, Flea. One more loss, and you are expelled from the Foremost World-Renowned International School of Lucha! ¿Entiende? FOREVER!

---

Rikochet: You expect me to risk the honor of my family and mask because you keep losing?

The Flea: Uh-huh.

Rikochet: Never…gonna…happen.

Buena Girl: Flea, what happened to all the candy? Did you eat all the candy?!

Rikochet: [to Heavy Traffic] I challenge you to a match! Winner keeps Masked Dog!

Heavy Traffic: This flea-bitten mutt? You're on, bag-head!

Judge: LUCHARAAAN!!

Mama Manaica: Now, we're only going to be gone for a few hours. So we want you niños to be good.

Rikochet: Aw, can't we come, too?

Mama Manaica: Sorry, mijo, it's a school night.

Rikochet: But, mama, the luchador fabuloso mega-match spectacular only comes once a year.

Buena Girl: And as the future of Lucha Libre, shouldn't we be able to…

The Flea: Blow up bedtimes so we can watch cool centering action?

Parents: No.

Mama Manaica: And be asleep by 9:00. Goodnight, niños.

Rikochet: Well, at least we can watch it on T.V.

Mrs. Flea: [bursts out of the kitchen] Gone! It's all gone! [falls to the floor with a faint]

Mr. Flea: [picks up his wife] What's gone? What is Mrs. Flea talking about?

Mrs. Flea: [stuttering] Do-do-do-do-do…

Mr. Flea: [shutting his wife's mouth] Mr. and Mrs. Flea must get a hold of themselves. There's no need to lose control. Now, what seems to be the trouble, mi amor?

Mrs. Flea: The well that supplies Mr. and Mrs. Flea with never-ending raw, dough, and batter… has run dry! GONE!

Mr. Flea: Mr. Flea was afraid this day might come.

---

The Flea: This isn't how it was described! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE DONUTS?!

Rikochet: Does that answer your question?

Buena Girl: Flea, why are you dressed like the chupacabra?

The Flea: The Flea is not dressed. The Flea's been infected with uncontrollable hair!

Sra. Loca Gitana: Something's wrong. I can't see them!

Minotoro: [off-screen] Maybe that's because you're looking in the wrong place. [pan over to him, Rikochet, Buena Girl, and The Flea facing them] I've beaten your son, fairly, but you had to go and try to dishonor me! [Hijo Gitano escapes through the window] You guys take care of Hop-along. Mommy's mine.

Sra. Loca Gitana: You made a mistake, common haired boy. Now, you must deal with… Tarot Card of Travesty!

The Flea: Always gotta be so buena, don't ya?

Buena Girl: Well, we proved our point. Besides, it's better that he returned to his own kind.

[Evening at Rikochet's house; All the luchadors are gathered for a secret meeting]

Rikochet: Does anyone have any idea of how to get rid of El Maestro Del Mundo?

The Flea: Just give The Flea five minutes, a barrel, some strong twine, a bent sausage, and a lime-green sweater vest!

Rikochet: And then what?

The Flea: Nothing. The Flea is just talking up on supplies.

La Piñata: He's undefeatable.

Penny: He just keeps learning, and his just keeps getting bigger!

Rikochet: Wait a second! I think we can turn that skill against him. We need to challenge him to a rematch.

Rikochet: All this stuff needs to be returned!

Igloca: Freeze right there! Why don't you just chill instead?

---

Pierre De Fuego: It's over, Igloca.

Zero Kelvin: We beat you, fair and square.

Rikochet: Now you have to give this stuff back to the sweltering citizens of the city!

Igloca: Never! If I can't have it, no one can!

Rikochet & Buena Girl: Get the belt, Flea! Get the belt!

The Flea: Hiya, teammates. Let's go get us a belt!

El Loco Mosquito: Not so fast, Flea! I'm going first.

Dragonfly: No, it's my turn!

Rikochet & Buena Girl: Get the belt!

El Loco Mosquito: I believe you are surely mistaken.

Rikochet & Buena Girl: Get the belt! Belt, belt, BELT!

The Flea: It's my turn!

---

Headmistress: If you don't bring back the belt before this clock stops ticking, you three are going… OUT THE LUCHA DOOR!!!

Dragonfly: Uh, excuse me, ma'am. What does that mean?

Headmistress: Oh… [chuckles] That just means you will all be… EXPELLED!!!!!

Rikochet: Headmistress is gonna blow.

Buena Girl: We better distract her.

Rikochet: Calm down, Headmistress.

Buena Girl: There's no reason to be mad.

Rikochet: There are plenty of things to do in life besides being mad.

Buena Girl: Like, uh… polishing your mask!

Rikochet: Go, Los Insectos! We'll keep her busy until you bring back the belt!

Cindy Slam: Man. That lame show and its lame stunts are so… lame. [turns and walks away] Lame. [turns back] I'm not gonna waist time with you guys.

Rikochet: Why not?

Buena Girl: I dare you!

Rikochet: Yeah! I dare you to waist time with us!

Cindy Slam: I dare you to shut up! [infuriated] GO AWAY, RIKOCHET! You're just a lightweight loser that could never challenge me to a worthy dare!

Rikochet: [offended] Lightweight loser? Oh, yeah, Cindy Slam?! I dare you to wrestle me!

Cindy Slam: Oh, no! Rikochet challenged me to a match! Oh, whatever shall I do?

---

Buena Girl: Well, folks, you've just witnessed the great Dare to Lucha, ever!

The Flea: And it was a match with a valuable lesson: If you work together, you'll never go hungry! [gobbles down on some sushi] How does victory taste, Rikochet?

Rikochet: It's very filling. Bring me another 40 pieces.

Cindy Slam: Oh, is that all? You must have the stomach of a baby chihuahua.

Rikochet: Oh, yeah?

Cindy Slam: Yeah!

Rikochet: I dare you eat 100 pieces!

Cindy Slam: I dare you to eat 200!

Rikochet: 300!

Cindy Slam: 400!

Buena Girl: Doesn't he know that the match ends with a finishing move?

Rikochet: Flea, Rollerita is really Buena Girl in disguise!

The Flea: Don't even kid about that.

Rikochet: No, really, look!

---

The Flea: Two Buena Girls?

Rikochet: Two Buena Girls?

Headmistress: Two Buena Girls?

Buena Girl: There's only one Buena Girl.

Rikochet: Buena Girl! So, you have been competing at Roller Lucha.

Buena Girl: I thought trying a new sport would be challenging. But compared with Lucha Libre, Roller Lucha is way lame.

Rikochet: [relieved] For a minute there, I thought we lost you.

Buena Girl: It may be fast, but it sure isn't Lucha.

Rollerita: Where do you think you're going? You think you can insult our sport and just leave? Maybe Roller Lucha's too mega for a Buena Girl like you.

Buena Girl: "Mega?" Please. With our discipline Lucha Libre training, we could beat you at your own silly sport!

The Flea: Um, Buena Girl, we can't stake.

Rollerita: You are so going down.

---

Rollerita: Give it up! You're out of your league!

Buena Girl: You're right. I am out of my league. So let's kick it old school, girl. Lucha style.

The Flea: The Flea's parents only bring in junky store bot toys. NO ONE LOVES THE FLEA! [runs out of the house, sobbing]

---

Rikochet: [enraged] You disgraced me before my friend, you destroyed my favorite chili, and you're REALLY ANNOYING!

Rikochet: I can't believe you did that, Buena Girl!

Buena Girl: Did what?

Rikochet: Push me out of the way, just so you could get all the credit for the pin!

The Flea: Ace Video Yearbook Reporter, The Flea here, where Rikochet has just called out Buena Girl.

Buena Girl: I pushed you off, because you were too busy showboating to notice that Haystack Grande was lifting his--

Rikochet: I was not showboating! I merely relishing it and yet, another victory that I had to do all by myself, with no help from you!

Buena Girl: [insulted] I can't believe you would say that!

Rikochet: That's not the only thing.

The Flea: What else?

Buena Girl: Yeah, Rikochet. What else?

Rikochet: All I'm saying is that you have to start pulling your weight around here.

The Flea: Just a recap for our viewers, Rikochet first called Buena Girl, "lazy," and now he just called her, "fat."

Buena Girl: I'M SICK OF ALL THE INSULTS AND ACCUSATIONS! I DON'T NEED IT!

Rikochet: Well, I don't need you.

Buena Girl: Well I don't need you or the Buena-Chet All Stars, either!

Rikochet: Fine!

Buena Girl: Fine!

[Later at the press conference…]

The Flea: Here were are, at the tag team press conference, with the now ex-members of the Buena-Chet All Stars.

Buena Girl: I just wanna say, I don't need you, either.

Rikochet: Big whoop. I could win this tournament with anyone as my partner.

Buena Girl: Oh, yeah?!

Rikochet: Yeah! I could win even with… Snow Pea as my partner!

Buena Girl: I could win with… [looks around] Doomien as my partner!

Rikochet: What?! You mean that pasty little schoolboy nerd?! [falls off his chair, laughing hysterically]

Rikochet: Buena Girl! Someone wrecked my house and defeated my papa! And what's even worse, Santo Claus didn't leave me any presents!

Buena Girl: Santo Claus didn't leave me anything, either. And just look at my house.

Rikochet: [sadly] This is the worst Lucha Christmas ever.

The Flea: This is the best Lucha Christmas ever!