This is the dialogue transcript for The Incredible Singing Christmas Tree.
Transcript[]
During the middle of O Christmas Tree[]
Gloria: A Christmas tree? It looks like a giant pyramid made out of choir risers.
Cricket: Well, it may look like risers now...
Tilly: But on Christmas Eve, when we fill it up with that big choir and singing Greens, it'll look just like a Christmas tree!
During the near end of O Christmas Tree[]
Gloria: Wow! A singing Christmas tree! But who gets to sing all the way at the top? Can I do that?
Cricket: That's a very special spot, Gloria, reserved for a special singer: the star.
Tilly: There's always a star at the top of the tree, Gloria. It's traditional.
Cricket: So we're holding auditions to see who gets to be the star at the top of the tree.
After O Christmas Tree[]
Cricket: (on megaphone) Alright, everyone! That sounded great! Let's have everyone start taking their places up on the tree. Now we have an important spot to fill, and a lot of you wanna fill it, so my dad Bill, my mom Nancy, and Judge Uppinsbottom are gonna be the judges.
Tilly: Hey, why can't I be a judge?
Gloria: Yeah, Tilly. You'd make a good judge.
Cricket: I'll be the judge of that. Besides, our judges are only going to give their opinions. The final decision will be made by me truly.
Nancy: Then, wouldn't that make us consultants?
Cricket: Well, yeah, but "judges" has a nicer ring to it.
Judge Uppinsbottom: Can I be the snarly judge that everyone loves to despise?
Cricket: Sure, why not.
Judge Uppinsbottom: Okay.
Cricket: (on megaphone) Let's get started. Alright, it's time to find out who will be the star at the top of the tree. Our first audition will be Miss Angelina.
After Puppy Love[]
Cricket: Well, judges, what do you think?
Nancy: Oh, the song sounded wonderful.
Bill: And the puppy was exceedingly cute.
(puppy barks)
Judge Uppinsbottom: If bad songs were chew toys, I'd be chewing on a big rubber shoe with a frizzy rope hanging off the end, and a little dingily ball rolling around inside going "Ding-a-ling-a-ling."
(puppy growls and barks loudly)
Cricket: What's that supposed to mean?
Judge Uppinsbottom: I'm so snarly. Am I not engagingly despicable?
Cricket: Uh... There's a spot for you in row 9. Will somebody help her get up on the tree?
Angelina: Thank you. I'm fine.
Cricket: Oh my. Well, uh, let's see. Next we have "The Friendly Beasts", by, uh, "The Mixed Greens".
Nancy: The Mixed Greens? Then what's that coconut doing over there?
Andromeda: Uh, I'm-I'm not a coconut. I'm a..girl in a..donkey suit.
Nancy: You look like a coconut.
After The Friendly Beasts[]
Nancy: Well, the song sounded good, but the costumes were a little over the top.
Bill: What's with the little pink torpedo zipping around?
Remy: That wasn't a pink torpedo. That was Gabriela flying around like a gentle dove.
Cricket: Ahh, thanks but no thanks, guys. Why don't you fill in the spots in rows, uh, 7 and 8. Be careful climbing up there.
Gloria: Hey, Cricket, do you think I could sing a song? It's about the true meaning of Christmas.
Cricket: Well-
Chip Whistler: Before we do that, I'd like to pause for this brief commercial announcement.
Cricket: Um, ahh...
After Jingle Ka-Ching[]
Nancy: Can I bag that up for you? Oh yeah.
Cricket: Mom, you're supposed to be a judge, not a contestant.
Nancy: Sorry. Old habits die hard. I love being an elf.
Cricket: Thanks, Chip, but that's not the Christmas message we're trying to get across. Um, row 6. Watch it, it's getting wobbly up there.
Nancy: This singing stuff is fun. You know, there's another character I'd like to play even more than an elf or a snarly judge.
Bill: Nancy, you are a judge. Participating as a contestant is a conflict of interest.
Gloria: This whole night has been an interesting conflict. Let's go, pirates.
Tilly: Woo-hoo! I mean, aargh!
Gramma Alice: I'm in.
Weezie: I beg your pardon. We are next.
Gloria: No, we're next.
Weezie: No, not you. We!
Kiki: Yeah, that's right!
After Battling Kings[]
Cricket: Alright guys, break it up. This is not the Christmas spirit. Kids, row 5. Pirates, row 4.
Judge Uppinsbottom: As chief justice, I rule in favor of the Pirates.
Bill: Who made you chief justice?
Cricket: What!?
Gloria: Uh, Cricket? Could I try? I was just thinking-
Cricket: Would everybody just calm down for a minute? This is getting out of control. I need quiet!
Gabriela: Oh, is that my cue?
Cricket: Huh?
Gabriela: Well, you know, quiet. Well, silence. I'm going to sing "Silent Night."
Cricket: Oh, right. Good, ye-yes, very nice. That's exactly what we need. Here's Gabriela singing "Silent Night".
After Silent Night[]
Cricket: Oh, that was really nice. I think we may have our star. Judges?
Nancy: That was not bad, but here's a tip: If you're going to make it in this business, you need to make it louder.
Gabriela: Louder? But it was Silent Night.
Bill: I'm afraid she's right. A star needs to project.
Judge Uppinsbottom: The star is all the way at the top. The star needs amplitude.
Cricket: Maybe you're right. Thanks Gabriela, but why don't you hop into row 4? Oh boy, be careful. That looks really rickety.
Tilly: Hey Cricket, it's getting crowded up there.
Cricket: But we still haven't found our star.
Gloria: Excuse me, Cricket, could I maybe just try-
Cricket: Hey, Tilly, we're running out of time. Could you try something?
Tilly: You know, maybe I could get the Girlz together.
Cricket: Girls? What girls?
Nancy: Not girls. Girlz. The Girlz in the Club.
Cricket: Eh, Mom, don't even think about it.
Nancy: Oh, check it, Green. The Girlz will take it from here. This is how we roll. Kick it.
After Christmas Sizzle Boy[]
Judge Uppinsbottom: Now that's what Christmas is about, what with the dancing and the presents and the reindeer.
Nancy: And the shazizzle.
Cricket: Ah, sha-no-zle! Sorry, girls. Row 3, please. Oh, we'll never find the right star. This whole thing is giving me a sour taste in my mouth.
Blind Lemon Lincoln: Sour taste? Now you're talking my language. Why don't you pucker up and listen to this.
After Candy Cane Blues[]
Nancy: Oh, that was sweet.
Cricket: Ah, yes, thank you, Blind Lemon, but-
Blind Lemon Lincoln: I know, I know. Row 2 or something.
Gloria: Um, Cricket?
Cricket: Gloria, I know you wanna be the star at the top of the tree.
Gloria: But Cricket-
Cricket: I just don't think you have the star power to pull it off.
Gloria: That's not it, Cricket.
Cricket: What is it then?
Gloria: I think the tree is overloaded.
Bill: The girl is right!
Cricket: The Singing Christmas Tree is starting to sway.
Bill: We'll be flattened!
Nancy: Pulverized!
Judge Uppinsbottom: I am removing myself from the bench.
Cricket: They're swaying at the top! Hey, up there! Stop rocking at the top!
Kiki: Hello down there! What did the boy say?
Weezie: He said keep rocking! Don't stop!
Kiki: He did?
Weezie: Keep rocking! Don't stop! Keep rocking! Don't stop!
All: Keep rocking! Don't stop! Keep rocking! Don't stop! Keep rocking! Don't stop!
Cricket: (screams)
Weezie: Keep rocking!
(Everyone screams)
Vasquez: Uh-oh!
(The tree crashes and collapses)
Gloria: Are you guys alright?
Weezie: Yep, no broken bones.
Cricket: Oh, no. The show is ruined! What are we gonna do now?
Gloria: Um, Cricket? Would you mind if I sang now?
Cricket: Alright Gloria, go ahead.
After Was He a Child Like Me?[]
Judge Uppinsbottom: Oh, oh that was really something.
Nancy: I've never heard anything like that.
Gloria: Was it really that bad?
Bill: We're not crying because we didn't like it. We're crying because it was so beautiful!
Gloria: It was?
Nancy: It was, Gloria. We've been so worried about finding the star for the top of the Singing Christmas Tree...
Cricket: We've forgotten why the tree is singing in the first place.
Judge Uppinsbottom: Somebody pass me a hanky. (blows nose)
Rosa: Hey, I heard a huge crash. Is the Singing Christmas Tree alright?
Gloria: Oh, hi! Hey everybody, it's our friend Rosa! (Everyone greets Rosa) Well, we're having a bit of a problem.
Rosa: Oh no! What happened to the Singing Christmas Tree?
Gloria: It got flattened, that's what happened!
Tilly: Now it's more of a groaning Christmas wreath.
Cricket: So I guess we'll have to call off the Christmas pageant.
Rosa: Hang on a second. Let me tell you about something.
After What My Father Did on Christmas Eve[]
Cricket: That's a fantastic idea! Instead of people coming to our Christmas program, we'll bring our Christmas program to them! Let's all go caroling this Christmas Eve! (everyone cheers in excitement) Come on, everybody! Let's rehearse our Christmas carols.
After Caroling Medley[]
Andromeda: Uh, all this singing about ding-dongs is making me hungry.
Remy: I heard they feed you when you go caroling.
Cricket: Let's keep going, okay?
After What Child Is This? / The First Noel[]
Gramma Alice: Oh, I think my finger cymbals froze together. Heh-heh-heh. Don't lick 'em.
Chip Whistler: How do those shepherds stay in business laying around in fields when they're supposed to be working?
Greg: Well, they do get one job perk, boss: Midnight choir concerts.
After Hark! The Herald Angels Sing / Angels We Have Heard on High[]
Tilly: Who are those two angels we always sing about, anyway?
Cricket: Which ones, Tilly?
Tilly: Harold and Gloria.
Cricket: Ahh...
Tilly: You know, "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and then, Glo-
Cricket: All right, Tilly. Let's wrap this up.
After Joy to the World[]
Cricket: Well, everyone, that sounded great!
Nancy: It was heartwarming!
Bill: It was magnificent!
Gloria: Well Cricket, the Incredible Singing Christmas Tree didn't turn out exactly as you planned.
Cricket: That's okay, Gloria. Thanks to you, this Christmas celebration will be even better.
Gloria: Aw, I didn't do much. I just can't wait to get out there and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
Everyone: Merry Christmas!
(end of transcript)