Bill Green/Gallery/Season 1A

"Cricket!!"

"What are ya doin', boy?!"

"Have ya lost your mind?!"

"Tilly, are you all right?"

"Listen, kids..."

"I know it's been difficult adjustin' to city life,"

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Lewis!" (Pointing out the neighbors.)

"Clean up your junky yard, ya hillybilly!"

"The point is, folks don't know us yet..."

"...so we wanna make a good impression."

"'A good impression'..." (Cricket, are you listening?)

"Dad, consider it done."

"Attaboy."

Stuck on a bear trap.

"Aw, man, I'm sorry. That's my bad. I was tryin' to catch a bear."

"Hellooooo..."

"...oh, boy."

"So sorry. I'll--"

"Keep the animals on your side of the fence."

"That includes little... what's-his-name."

"My name's Cricket!"

"I'm your new neighbor!" (Fun fact: This is the only remnant of the episode's original planning stage.)

That's it, you're in big trouble, boy.

"Son, this is exactly what I'm talkin' about!"

"For the rest of the day, I want you to stay out of sight, in your room."

"What? You're jokin'!"

"I ain't jokin', son."

"Just...please go to your room!"

"You're serious?! I can't believe it!"

"Mmm!!"

"ALL RIGHT, I'M GOIN'!"

"I'll give you one last chance to change your --"

"Cricket!!"

"Ack!"

"Do you want me to go to Cricket's room as well?"

Bill's disappointed face.

"...I'll just go!"

"...Who the heck is that?"

"Cricket."

"Cricket?"

"I told you to stay in your --

"What the heck happened out here?!"

"What are you talkin' about?"

"What are the neighbors gonna think?"

"Well, whatever you did, Cricket..."

"I guess it made a good impression."

"And next time, try to cause less damage."

"We did pretty good, huh?"

Green family roughhousing.

"Ahem?"

"May I also join in the roughhousing?"

"Oh boy, I can't wait for tonight!"

"And even though the food's three times more expensive here..."

"Nothin's more important than family tradition."

"But seriously, I spent Cricket's college savings in there."

Uh, I'm gonna have to go with steaks.

"Wait, how'd you get those?"

"Hmm..."

"Well, all right."

"But be careful."

"Steaks are the heart of Steak Night."

"Oh, wow, it's gettin' late."

"We gotta get home."

"Good idea. Can't be that complicated, right?"

"Subway! Subway! Subway!"

"Sub-won't!"

"Nothin' good ever comes from being underground!"

Bill has carried her in.

Cricket mopes about the dancer...

"So, how do you want your steaks cooked tonight?"

"Rarer than rare!"

"Like a diamond... "

"...of meat."

"Sheesh, I'm so hungry..."

"I just might eat mine..."

"...Raw!"

"I LOST THE STEAKS!!!!!"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh, boy."

"Can we get more steaks, Papa?"

"Not unless we have another month's savings lying around."

"Don't look at me. My money's tied up with the Feds."

"CRICKET!!"

There goes the other ingredients.

"Don't worry about me, just go get Cricket!"

"Rest in peace."

"Daddy's heart!"

"We're goin' home!"

An environmentalist corners the two.

Cricket spills the deets.

"Don't you care about Mother Earth?!"

"Git yer tree-huggin' hands off my boy!"

Barely made it.

"Oh, my head."

"Oh, my head of lettuce!"

"Our family tradition is saved!"

...Or not.

"I guess we'll just have to wait this one out..."

Bill does not look behind him.

"Cricket, I told you not to put this in the cart!"

"Tilly, you have got to stop enabling your brother."

"Uh, apology accepted."

"Now throw that thing away and give me a boost!"

The others search for Cricket.

They found him.

"Go, Cricket!"

"Cricket, get away from that thing!"

"Cricket, get off the tracks!!"

"Son! Let go!"

"No, that's wrong! Steak Night isn't about the steaks!"

"We can't afford to buy another Cricket!!"

"I've tried."

That's the last we'll see of the robot.

Back to safety.

"Sorry I got so worked up about a couple of silly steaks."

"No need to apologize, Cricket."

"Family traditions are important..."

"...but never more important than family."

"Also..."

"I fought a robot!"

"That was...crazy."

"Okay, now, how about we head home and order some takeout?"

"That won't be necessary, Papa."

"The subway has provided." (Subway pizza.}

"Bottoms up, family!"

"Ah, Tilly, don't. Ah, no, no, no!"

"Okay, that's it!"

"We're takin' the bus!"

"The old Green Family Rite of Passage."

That's Bill as a child taming a hawk.

"More for Tilly."

"Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun..."

"Then I guess I'm not a Green!"

"Did I misread the room?"

"Stop fightin'!"

"You don't have to do this!"

"I'll put you on the quilt myself!"

"Don't get involved!"

"Cricket, you can't beat Gramma, and you know it! Just end this foolishness!"

"Papa, start the count!"

"One!"

"That's a great idea, son!"

"Don't touch it, it's cursed!"

"It'll melt your skin off!"

"And then your eyeballs will fall out!"

"And then your blood will curdle into cheese!"

"I even thought of the perfect name for it."

"It's...French fries!"

"Aww, ain't she pretty?"

"Yeah, she's pretty..."

"Pretty dangerous!"

"This whole thing is a death trap!"

"LOOK OUT!"

"We've been through this a hundred times. When I'm driving..."

"...you DON'T! GRAB! THE WHEEL!!!!!"

"Here's your ticket!"

"The curse..."

"...IS REAL!!!"

"Oh my gosh...I'm cursed! I'M CURSED!"

" Forget the Food Truck Round-Up."

"My life is being destroyed by an EVIL POTATO!!!"

"But we can't fight the curse!"

WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!!

"THE TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Don't worry, Gramma's steerin'."

"No I'm not!"

Oooooh!

Bill's starting to really get into the hot tub.

But disaster would be soon to strike...

...that's awkward.

...and he knows it.

"OH NO."

Meanwhile, Cricket is battling the brutal decision between embarrassment and--

"Cricket! CRICKET!!!!!"

...it's no use.

*Everyone chanting "MILK!" In the background*

"Her name is Melissa.."

Bill's butt

"Ah, don't listen to 'em, Remy."