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Things just seem to happen to people who don't drink Wilkins!
~ Wilkins after two of the times he attacks Wontkins.
Strange things happen to people who don't drink Wilkins!
~ A variant of the above after Wilkins drops the Washington Monument on Wontkins.

Wilkins is the titular protagonist of a series of commercials advertising Wilkins Coffee.

He is the spokesperson for the company but his methods of spreading the word about it are downright villainous and heinous.

He was voiced and puppeteered by the late Jim Henson.

Biography[]

Wilkins loves to drink Wilkins Coffee, which he strongly promotes. He was a perpetually smiling frog-like creature who was accompanied by Wontkins, his more dour counterpart. Throughout the series of commercials, Wilkins tries to offer Wontkins a cup of Wilkins Coffee, which he grumpily rebuffs. In retaliation, Wilkins would either maim, assault, or kill Wontkins; there are a few moments in which Wontkins would admit that he did like Wilkins Coffee.

Wilkins' name is a pun on the word "will," while Wontkins' name is a pun on "won't" meaning that they either would drink the coffee, or they won't. If you don't drink Wilkins Coffee, it's expected for something bad to happen to you. However, what happens to Wontkins tends to commercial in each ad. If he were to say that he didn't like coffee, something bad would happen to him. At this point, Wontkins would try to outsmart Wilkins by professing his love for Wilkins Coffee. Wilkins, however, would usually see through this facade, and he pummels him anyway. Alternatively, nothing would happen to Wontkins, or he could successfully outsmart Wilkins.

Wilkins has also appeared in commercials for other brands such as Promote Nash's Coffee, Community Coffee, Red Diamond Coffee, Frank's Beverages, Wilkins Tea, Merita Bread, Taystee Bread, Dugan's Bread, Kraml Milk, and SOHIO Gas Station, in which he is shown treating Wontkins no different than he did in the Wilkins Coffee commercials by still killing, abusing, and torturing him, even when promoting a different brand.

Quotes[]

Wilkins: We're here to persuade people to drink more Wilkins Coffee!
Wontkins: What's the club for?
Wilkins: (whacks Wontkins with the club) To get their attention!
~ Wilkins' attempt to persuade people.
Wontkins: I've got five aces. Can you beat that?
Wilkins: I've got a can of Wilkins Coffee! (shoots Wontkins with a gun) Nothing beats Wilkins!
~ Wilkins playing cards with Wontkins.
Wilkins: I love these Wilkins Coffee commercials, don't you?
Wontkins: I'm tired of them.
Mr. Wilkins: (makes gunshots and causes the set to collapse)
Wontkins: Just kidding, Mr. Wilkins!
~ Wilkins showing self-awareness.
Wilkins: Any last requests, like for a cup of Wilkins Coffee?
Wontkins: No!
Wilkins: You don't drink Wilkins?
Wontkins: No!
Wilkins: How shocking. (flips an electrical switch)
~ Wilkins before executing Wontkins on the electric chair.
Wilkins: En garde! Salute Wilkins Coffee!
Wontkins: But I don't drink Wilkins Coffee!
Wilkins: (wipes Wontkins' blood off sword) Some learn, some don't.
~ Wilkins killing Wontkins for not saluting Wilkins Coffee, his most infamous quote.
Wilkins: If you don't start drinking Wilkins Coffee, I'll make you into two by fours!
Wontkins: I should've saw this coming...
Wilkins: He always was a cutup!
~ Wilkins preparing to kill Wontkins with a giant sawblade.
Wontkins: Wilkins makes good coffee. (Wilkins whacks Wontkins with a club) Better coffee...? (Wilkins whacks Wontkins a second time) Wilkins makes the best coffee!
Wilkins: Congratulations.
~ Wilkins forcing Wontkins to call Wilkins Coffee the best.
Wilkins: I just filled my whole swimming pool with Wilkins Coffee!
Wontkins: (slips into the pool) Help! I'm drowning!
Wilkins: I told him he'd end up drinking Wilkins!
~ Wilkins about his pool.
Wilkins: I see you don't drink Wilkins Instant Coffee.
Wontkins: What about my future?
Wilkins: I hate to tell you but- (Wontkins spontaneously explodes) you don't have a future!
~ Wilkins as the fortune teller Snikliw the Swamee.
Wontkins: You can't persuade me to drink Wilkins Instant Coffee!
Wilkins: Pretty please?
(The lights flicker off)
Wontkins: Ouch! Okay!
(The lights flicker back on showing Wilkins holding a knife)
Wilkins: Just a stab in the dark!
~ Wilkins stabbing Wontkins for not drinking Wilkins Instant Coffee.
Wilkins: Have some Wilkins Coffee, sir?
Wontkins: If that's all you serve, I'll get off at the next town.
Wilkins: (pushes Wontkins out of the plane's door) Next town's five miles, straight down!
~ Wilkins as a flight attendant.
Wilkins: This machine will make you want a cup of Wilkins Coffee!
Wontkins: Not me, I'll- (Wilkins activates a guillotine, with the blade nearly missing Wontkins) take mine with cream and sugar...
~ Wilkins nearly killing Wontkins with a guillotine.
Wilkins: You want a can of Wilkins Coffee?
Wontkins: No, give me a bottle of ginger ale.
Wilkins: Okay! (smacks a bottle of ginger ale on Wontkins' head) But he would've liked the Wilkins!
~ Wilkins as a bar tender.
Wilkins: How about some Wilkins Coffee, captain?
Wontkins: No!
Wilkins: (pushes Wontkins overboard) I'd say "man overboard, help".
~ Wilkins as a crew member of the S.S. Wilkins.
Wontkins: Give me the eggs and no Wilkins Coffee!
Wilkins: Give him the eggs, boys! (people offscreen fling eggs at Wontkins) A meal without Wilkins is a mess!
~ Wilkins tormenting Wontkins with eggs.
Wilkins: Want some Wilkins Coffee with your strawberry shortcake?
Wontkins: Can't say that I do.
Wilkins: (smacks the shortcake in Wontkins' face) You can't say that you don't, either!
~ Wilkins as a bakery clerk.
Wilkins: Howdy, stranger. I hear you don't drink Wilkins Coffee.
Wontkins: Yeah, so what?
Wilkins: (shoots Wontkins with a revolver) Now there any other strangers in town?
~ Wilkins as a western ranger.
Wilkins: Say, did you bring the Wilkins Coffee?
Wontkins: No! (Wilkins lets go of the rope holding Wontkins) I forgoooooooooootttt!
Wilkins: When you come back up, don't forget the Wilkins!
~ Wilkins and Wontkins as mountain climbers.
Wontkins: I'm gonna drink this coffee and it's not Wilkins!
Wilkins: (crushes Wontkins with a steamroller) Doesn't that coffee taste kind of flat?
~ Wilkins crushing Wontkins for not drinking Wilkins Coffee.
Wilkins: You gonna run against the Wilkins Coffee Party?
Wontkins: Start the race!
Wilkins: On your mark, get set, go! (shoots Wontkins with a gun) Nobody beats Wilkins!
~ Wilkins promoting Wilkins Coffee at a political party.
Wilkins: Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee?
Wontkins: I never tasted it.
Wilkins: (blasts Wontkins with a cannon, before pointing it at the audience) Now what do you think of Wilkins?
~ Wilkins threatening the audience to drink Wilkins.
Wilkins: You know, people who don't drink Wilkins Coffee just blow up sometimes!
Wontkins: Oh, that's a lot of-
Wilkins: (presses a stick of dynamite, Wontkins explodes) See what I mean?
~ Wilkins blowing up Wontkins.
Wilkins: You have any Wilkins Coffee in your house?
Wontkins: No!
Wilkins: (pushes a bomb through Wontkins' window) You know, a house isn't a home without Wilkins Coffee!
~ Wilkins blowing up Wontkins' home.
Wilkins: Coffee break, want a cup of Wilkins?
Wontkins: No thank you.
Wilkins: (pushes Wontkins over the edge of the building) Now all our workers drink Wilkins.
~ Wilkins as a construction worker.
Wontkins: This thing's sinking! Better throw out that Wilkins Instant Coffee!
(Cut to a closer shot of the hot air balloon. Wontkins is missing.)
Wilkins: Just me and Wilkins Instant, for eighty whole days!
~ Wilkins as Phileas Fogg from Around the World in Eighty Days.
Wilkins: Care for a cup of Wilkins Coffee?
Wontkins: No, I don't like coffee! (get shot)
Wilkins: This has been a public service announcement!
~ Wilkins' PSA regarding Wilkins Coffee.

Gallery[]

Images[]

Videos[]

Trivia[]

  • Despite his similar appearance and contrary to rumor, Wilkins is not an early incarnation of Kermit the Frog. Kermit was the first puppet built of the two, and appeared side by side with Wilkins in early promotional images of The Muppets.

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