Twenty-Four Hours a Day
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General
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Song Information
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"Twenty-Four Hours a Day" is the fourth track of The Yellow Album. It is sung by Apu and The Squishees. The song was written by John Boylan, Jeff Martin, Mike McKnight, and Jai Winding.
Lyrics[edit]
- Apu:
- Hello, baby. It is Apu to whom you are speaking. What's that, baby? You are proposing we have a cookout at the beach then tear a page from the Kamma Sutra 'til the sun rises over the Eastern Sea? Sorry, baby. That's impossible. I run a convenience store, and baby, you know what that's like.
- Got to sell the road maps,
- Got to move the twelve packs.
- I'm printing out the tickets for the lottery.
- Move out all the Trail Mix.
- Make room for the beef sticks!
- Informing all the punks: "This is not a library!"
- Hey! Yes, we have some string cheese!
- I'll have to check those ID's!
- We're running out of Half-n-Half and Sweet 'n' Low! Oh!
- Would you like some jerky?
- It comes in beek or turkey!
- You see what I am up to baby; I can't go!
- I'm working
- Apu and Back-Up Singers:
- Twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- We're open twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- Apu:
- No! No! No!
- Hey, if I deserted my post, who would be refilling the jalepeno receptor? You? I don't think so.
- I make coffee for the riff-raff:
- Regular and decaf;
- 8 ounce, 12 ounce, 20 ounce.
- One for the road, sir?
- Heat-lamp dogs and Cheetos,
- Microwave burritos!
- Obey the printed warning, or it's sure to explode!
- I sit out front the magazines
- In which the subject matter's clean,
- Behind the counter, the adult variety!
- Back-Up Singers:
- Ay-yah!
- Apu:
- Heh! It won't help to make a fuss,
- I do not make change for the bus.
- To use the restroom, you must be an employee!
- I'm working
- Apu and Back-Up Singers:
- Twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- We're open twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- Apu:
- No! No! No!
- Apu and Back-Up Singers:
- Twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- Apu:
- No, it don't.
- Apu and Back-Up Singers:
- Twenty-four hours a day-ay!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- Apu:
- No! No! No! Yes! Yes! No!
- (music becomes slower)
- I came to this country
- From a far away subcontinent
- With dreams to make a fortune
- In the movie industry!
- But instead, I'm making Squishees
- In a checkered dress.
- Oh, how I wish the camera on the ceiling
- Wasn't just there for security!
- (tempo increases to original)
- Oh, oh! Alright, I feel much better now! I felt a little sad there; now I'm very happy again. Oh. Oh, this is good. Yes, I like this, this is my favorite part of the song! Yes, my great-aunt Pirani used to dance to this. She used to work it on out. This is very funky part now.
- I'm working.
- Apu & Back-Up Singers:
- Twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- We're open twenty-four hours a day!
- That don't leave no time left to play!
- Apu:
- No! No! No! No! No! No!
- (back-up singers repeat chorus over the following)
- Hello, steady customer! Okay, let's see...that's..one packet of potency vitamins, three tins of smokeless tobacco and one box of honey-glazed popcorn clusters. That'll be...nothing because you're carrying a gun! Oh, here we go again. Please, sir, I ask that if you tie me up, you use the nylon rope; it feels so much softer against my skin than the other kind. Yes, you'll find it in back between the video games and the non-dairy creamer. Please, sir, oh, thank you very much. Okay, have a nice day! Come again!
Appearances[edit]
