compare and despair

compare and despair (third-person singular simple present compares and despairs, present participle comparing and despairing, simple past and past participle compared and despaired)

1. To distress oneself by comparing one's own situation with that of others who seem more successful.
   • 2011, C. Stephen Foster, Awakening the Actor Within:

     We are now on a path, a pilgrimage, a journey, an adventure, and we must now begin to pay more attention. Look at the signs guiding you, look at those who ambush you, even the weather of your own moods defines whether you succeed or not. One of the other damaging evils we do to ourselves is compare and despair ourselves and our careers against other people. “Oh, look at her! She had connections! She was always the favorite! I'm not there yet!”

   • 2017, Gillian Anderson, Jennifer Nadel, We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere, page 162:

     Thanks to social media, the opportunity to compare and despair is only ever a click away. We can instantly see what we haven't got and the places we haven't been invited to.