Recently I had a conversation with some friends that went something like this...


Friend #1: "You should really read Book So-and-So. It's great!"

Me: "I can't. The hero is a man-ho. You know that's one of my no-no rules."

Another friend (#2): "How about this book? I loved it."

Me: "Nope. That has too much dark and disturbing material. Also on my list of rules."

Friend #3: "What about Book Blah Blah?"

Me: "Absolutely not. That breaks the rule about cheating and/or having sex with other partners while the story is happening. I don't care about their histories PRIOR to the book, but once you get on page one, all sexual activity must be limited to hero and heroine, including, but not pertaining exclusively to, dreams and fantasies."

Friends: Silence.

Friend #1: "You sure have a lot of rules."

Me: "No I don't!"

All friends simultaneously: "YES YOU DO!"

Me: "What? So I don't like man-hos, virgin heroes, alpha-holes, orgies, BDSM, fake BDSM, young adult, new adult, dark and disturbing topics like rape or violence, too-stupid-to-live heroines, plot-driven stories, huge info dumps, cheating, The Big Misunderstanding, billionaires, cougars, dark and angsty books, jump-the-shark plots, plot holes, gang-bangs, figging, flogging, anal sex, most contemporaries, and/or poorly written bearotica."

Friends: ALL RISE EYEBROWS ACCUSINGLY

Me: "Fine. Maybe I have a lot of rules."

A few days later I complained about the lack of vanilla menages on Twitter. Jen Porter pointed out that most menage stories are erotica, and include many of the topics that make me squeamish.

I complained bitterly that there is not a sub-sub-sub-subgenre for "vanilla menage"....what if a nice little old granny in Vermont wanted to read a wholesome threesome?

Is that not possible?

Does back-door action ALWAYS have to be included in these stories?

Sigh.

Evidently it does. So, I'm still looking for my vanilla menage story that doesn't break any of my hard-and-fast rules. It ain't looking too good.

In the meantime, I'm re-reading Julie Garwood. (She doesn't break any of my rules.)



Starting the countdown until the INDIE AUTHOR SYMPOSIUM! Yee haw!

Penny

1. ALWAYS THE CHUNKY BRIDESMAID, NEVER THE CHUNKY BRIDE...

I wrote a review for Ros Clarke's FLIRTING WITH THE CAMERA for the new blog Love In The Margins. I really loved this book. It has a chunky girl heroine who has good self-esteem and thinks she's beautiful. How 'bout them apples? Please check out this cool new blog, leave some heckling comments for moi if you so desire, and enjoy my pics of Queen Latifah, Barbie, and a NKOTB video.

Here's the linkie--->My post is called ALWAYS THE CHUNKY BRIDESMAID, NEVER THE CHUNKY BRIDE. Enjoy!

Tonight is the night!

I will be at Wellesley Books, in Wellesley MA, for their first Local Indie Author Evening. Eight local authors will be chatting it up with customers, signing our books, and talking about our self-publishing experiences. The event is from 6-8 pm. Here is a link for directions to the store.

I hope to see some of you there. And if you want to hang out and get a cocktail with me after the shin-dig, that would be super!



Ciao!
Penny