Reviews
Stream (2024)
Slow, clumsy and wooden
Total waste of time. Plot with as many holes as a string vest, full of wooden acting, poorly written and directed. Skip it at all costs. Struggling to fill the six hundred word review minimum to be truthful. Come on film makers there should be no excuse for rubbish like this in 2024. Even the effects and latex heads were of really poor quality. I can't believe someone funded this production. I suppose it could have been written by AI ?? Nope, I've seen better stuff written by AI on my laptop! I suppose it could help with insomnia, otherwise if you value your downtime at all give it a miss as you can't get the time back.
District C-11 (2017)
Wow.....can't believe how bad that was!
Well that movie has left me astounded. Astounded that somebody found such a wooden cast, illiterate writers and a brain dead director. The story what little if it there is loses any form of sense around 25 minutes in. The end doesn't exist at all, they just decided to not add one at all. It barely has a start so I suppose it fits in. I love B movies normally, however this was just a total waste of time. An infants nativity would be better acted, also pretty sure the kindergarten teacher can direct far better! It's like the put a bunch of people off the street with no acting ability into a room and said make a movie. What happened to the director? I honestly don't know, maybe he read the script from the back of a packet of smokes and decided to not bother, you wouldn't blame him. Come in guys, anybody could do better, so why don't you??
Squealer (2023)
Squealing to turn it off
Whilst the idea of another serial killer film doesn't bother me, the blatantly overuse of every b movie murder film cliche by the terrible writer does bother me very much.
Bearing in mind it is a straight to DVD / Streaming service movie, it still falls well below par of that segment of the market that is being currently driven by intelligent film students and people early in their careers who are learning to hone their craft, and.............they are doing it very well!!! Sadly unlike the makers of this movie.
It's a very staid and predictable storyline, no amazing twists and everything is predictable, it's almost like the writers just can't be bothered anymore with the ever growing crop of remakes.......and this rubbish. Come on writers, we your viewing public deserve better!
It is performed by actors that are usually good solid performers, finding them in some TV movies and also some of Amazon Primes best series. The trouble is the director seems to have really got the least out of his performers possible. In fact, maybe the director got the nearest toddler to direct it for him instead. Maybe he used the writers toddler to direct it as their skills seem to be about level after all.
The really sad thing is it wouldn't have taken much to turn this into a watchable movie, even a good one. In it's current state it is definitely one to avoid! Do not waste your hour and thirty plus minutes. Use it for something more exciting like watching paint dry.
Ahsoka (2023)
Full on fanfest
I waited with baited breath, then I wasn't disappointed. I feel Favreau and company get the whole Star Wars fan culture. If you haven't bothered to watch the cartoon series Clone Wars or Rebels a lot of the content may well be lost on you. You have to remember Star Wars is an epic tale with a beginning, middle and end. You can't afford to skip parts of it, that includes the parts if the story told in the cartoons. Hera, Ahsoka and the Mandalorian all have their roots deeply embedded within the cartoons. Give them a whirl, I promise it makes sense. The characters within Ahsoka are well maintained, if a little dubious in casting.
I do miss the simmering anger within the new Ahsoka but maybe as we all mature we lose that a little. Well worth a watch if you are a true Star Wars fan, but maybe a little hard if you are just picking it up as a standalone series.
Retribution (2023)
Well below par.
This film is an obviously very very budget conscious affair. This cheap feeling permeates itself through the entire film. Add to that a very wooden performance from the lead player and I think most people will struggle to stay awake!! The only saving grace is Modines performance, however even that is diluted down to get the family friendly PG rating. Not that I can see many families wanting to sit and watch this on a Sunday afternoon. An hour and a half I won't get back! If they had a bugger budget, more realistic dialogue and a better director they may have been able to make it more like Neesons previously typical quiet macho man revenge plot films. This one sadly just does not match up. Maybe time for Liam to retire from this genre now? I know he has become very typecast in this sort of role, but apart from the original Taken, the Irishman dies not suit this type of role naturally as other leading actors have. This film looks, feels and plays out as a quick, cheap, straight to stream film created on a spreadsheet to make a certain figure in return. Very poor fair for Neesons wooden skills and a small part for Modine who is hot off last year's Stranger Things. Come on Hollywood you can do better than this garbage, we as an audience deserve better.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
Dreadful
Do not waste your time with the low budget, badly directed and wooden acting in this awful remake. The originals are way better in every aspect. I can't believe they decided to rip off the rights holders to create this utter rubbish. It's not even decent B movie stuff. Wait for the new reboot of the Creeper stuff, you will waste time watching this. I made it an hour in before I realised any kid with a camera could do way better. This is just a badly written grab for cash by the makers. I really can't express how bad this film actually is. In this day and age of cheap computer Fx, the quality of these effects shine for how bad they are and nothing else.