Reviews

Belgium, where yours truly hails from, is already a very small country, and then we're still split up in a French speaking part and a Dutch speaking part. As a patriot and a movie fanatic, nothing frustrates me more than stumbling upon a film title from my own country I never heard of before. "Slachtvee"- roughly translated as "cattle for slaughter" - was completely unknown to me, even though it's from my favorite cinematic era (late 70s/early 80s) and featuring a sinister crime & vigilante plot that I worship as well.

Turns out I didn't miss out on a great Flemish cult gem after all, as "Slachtvee" is obscure and forgotten for a couple of very good reasons. The script and lead characters are very poorly developed, the ending is a ridiculously confusing mess, the action is minimal and disappointing, and the sole reason why the film is memorable is because it features lots of explicit real footage of cows being slaughtered in an abattoir.

The story revolves on the young and ambitious manager of an abattoir who seemingly has it all. Tomas is good as his job and madly in love with the big CEO's daughter Marie-Rose, but his dreams are shattered to pieces when, after a routine medical check, he hears he has inoperable lung cancer. Thomas breaks all contact with his fiancée, buys a gun on the black market, and decides to spend his few final weeks befriending prostitutes and killing criminals. Meanwhile, Marie-Rose desperately searches for her man because she has important news.

Despite a few clichés (although, maybe, they weren't clichés yet back then), the concept and ideas of "Slachtvee" easily could have resulted in a terrific and action-packed Eurocrime-thriller but, for some bizarre reason, writer/director Patrick Conrad opted to making a semi-psychedelic drama with lots of dialogues and absurdly implausible plot twists. The pacing is continuously interrupted, and you can't help wondering how cool this film could have been if only the plot was more straightforward and focused on the action. You know, like how the Italians made their crime thrillers. I would only recommend "Slachtvee" to people who consider become vegetarians, but still hesitate. The raw and shocking images of cows being killed, without sedation, and gutted are harrowing to watch. Luckily, the legislation and ways of working in these abattoirs have vastly improved over the years, but it nevertheless remains confronting.

The one - and only - reason to sit through this umpteenth worthless & dull sex-thriller from Jess Franco is Brigitte Lahaie. She's one of the most beautiful women ever and, especially in the late 70s/early 80s, she was just perfect. Lahaie starred in numerous hardcore adult movies, but - since she was the right girl at the right place at the right time - was also a popular muse for the sleazy directors of contemporary exploitation flicks, like Jean Rollin and Jesus Franco. But even with Lahaie, "I Burn All Over" is a dreadfully dull, uninspired, ugly, and forgettable film. It's about a young girl named Jenny who gets kidnapped and sold to a prostitution network, but the kidnappers want her back when they discover the girl's father is a millionaire. Meanwhile, Jenny is kept prisoner on a boat - a bordello on water - and, together with a dozen of other naked girls, kept in a constant state of lustfulness by some sort of sex-gas that gets spread into their living quarters. Sounds interesting, doesn't it? Well, that's often the case with Jess Franco films but make no mistake. It's terrible, and I recommend watching a FUN movie starring Lahaie; - like "Ta Geule, Je T'Aime" or "Six Swedish Girls in a Boarding School".

There are a few storylines in thriller/horror movies that I will always watch, no matter how many times I have seen it before or regardless how negative the rating or reviews are. The premise of "hunting humans" is one of those. Of course, I don't expect masterpieces like the almighty "The Most Dangerous Game" every time, but if there's a bit of suspense, some brutal kills, and an uncanny atmosphere, I'm pleased. And, who knows, sometimes you do encounter a truly great film in this worn-out subgenre, like "The Hunt" or "El Rey de la Montaña".

"Prey" is not a great film. Not even a very good one, for that matter, but it's okay as purely undemanding entertainment, nevertheless. In this German Netflix production, five male friends are adventure-hiking in the woods to celebrate Roman's last days as a bachelor, when they are suddenly targeted by an unseen assailant with a sniper rifle. There's a reasonably unexpected and original twist regarding the identity & motivations of the sniper-killer, but everything else is routine and derivative stuff. As usual, the "close friends" keep some terrible secrets from each other, and they all turn into cowards when their own life is in danger. Writer/director Thomas Sieben does very little with the background of the killer's character and the ending is weak.

In 1978 alone, director Stelvio Massi and lead actor Maurizio Merli made three Poliziotesschi together. In total, they each directed or starred in approximately 15-20 Poliziotesschi; which probably makes them the two most active and productive contributors of this magnificent sub-genre. It's only normal that not ALL those Poliziotesschi are equally brilliant. "Il Commissario di Ferro" is one of the weaker efforts of both gentlemen, but still an entertaining crime-thriller for the fans.

The plot is very simple and straightforward. Tough, unorthodox copper Mariani is chasing after the fugitive kidnappers of a young girl, while and armed & frustrated junk walks into the police station and pulls out a gun. He wants to kill Mariani, because he holds the nicknamed "Iron Commissioner" responsible for his father's suicide in jail. The junk holds half the station hostage, but Mariani doesn't return and inadvertently even brings his ex-wife and son in danger. It seems like everyone is heading down to the station, except for the darn commissioner!

There's nothing memorable about "Il Commissario di Ferro", but it's nevertheless professionally directed by Massi and featuring a handful of brutal shootouts, a virulent fight in a warehouse full of plastic, familiar faces in the supportive cast, and a few tense hostage situation moments.

After two years of whining and begging by my children, I finally subscribed to Netflix. Of course, it's quite clear that dad watches a lot more than the kids. Also, now that I have a wide and versatile catalogue on the screen in front of me, it's perhaps the right time to step out of my comfort zone and watch something I normally never would. Like a true crime documentary about alien abduction, for instance!

Big mistake. I have never been so bored in my life. "The Manhattan Alien Abduction" revolves around story of New York housewife Linda Napolitano who, in 1989, got lifted out of her bed, and floated over nightly Manhattan for a while, before brought aboard an extraterrestrial spaceship. Believers claim Linda's ordeal is the ultimate proof that alien life exists, because allegedly 23 different people witnessed how she floated over Manhattan.

If you are open for the possibility that extraterrestrial life exists, and that the aliens desire to examine the earthlings via random abductions and probes, well then "The Manhattan Alien Abduction" will strengthen your beliefs. If you are a skeptical person and assume the only rational explanation for what happened is that Mrs. Napolitano suffered from psychosis, then "MAA" also does nothing to make you doubt. Worst of all, it's unimaginably boring. I fell asleep three times and wasn't even tired.

According to the credits and all the information here on IMDb, "The Blackening" is directed by Tim Story ("Fantastic Four"), but the stupidity and lameness has Keenen Ivory Wayans written all over it. Thus, you're not fooling us, this is "Scary Movie 6". You also know exactly what type of film this'll become after two seconds; when the following message appears: "This movie is based on true events... that never happened". Okay, funny, ha ha ha... Again, this must be "Scary Movie 6".

The main cast exists of seven black characters, all of which respond to the most dreadful stereotypes. We have the gangster, the hysterical woman, the activist with her Rosa Parks T-shirt, the Steve Urkel lookalike, ... Everything looks and sounds very racist, but it's okay since the cast & crew are black themselves. This way, it's self-parody. It's supposed to be slasher horror but hardly any of the characters die, and the emphasis lies on lame jokes and figuring out the clichés of the genre. Seriously, this must be "Scary Movie 6". Boring, overly talkative, bloodless, not funny, embarrassing, ... Not recommended.

The rapidly evolving technologies and possibilities of Artificial Intelligence are frightening - and even disturbing - for many people. Was James Cameron right all along with "The Terminator"? Will talking computers become super-intelligent? Will machines take over and exterminate humanity?

In the hands of a capable and talented director, the concept of "A. I. going berserk" can lead to a tense and gruesome Sci-Fi/horror movie, like Leigh Whannell's "Upgrade", for instance. In the hands of a quack, however, it becomes a laughable and pitiable gimmick, like Steven C. Miller demonstrates with "Margaux".

The idea behind the film has more than enough potential, for sure. A group of college friends rent an isolated vacation house near a forestry region. They don't have to fear a killer amongst them or a vicious psycho at large in the woods, but the house itself. It's a futuristic "Smarthouse", equipped with hi-tech stuff and operated by an A. I. platform named Margaux. In the opening scene, however, we already witnessed that Margaux is a little bit psycho and uses the house as a giant murder weapon.

There are a few suspenseful moments in the first half of the film, and lead actress Madison Pettis is an incredibly beautiful girl. That's about it for strong points; the list with negative elements is much longer, alas. The characters are the worst bunch of horror stereotypes I've seen in a long time. Especially the dumb & shallow Instagram-girlfriend and the guy who's constantly stoned are pathetic. The A. I. system Margaux quickly stops being scary because she/it uses college slang and makes terrible jokes. The plot becomes terribly imbecilic once it begins duplicating its tenants with liquid white goo. The special effects are terrible, especially the computerized grabbing arms, and the ending doesn't make any sense. One to avoid.

We, skeptical horror fanatics, LOVE to complain about how awesome genre classics aren't being made anymore nowadays, and how everything was better in the 1970s and 1980s. But you know what? The 2020s have been a great era for horror thus far, and we should be honest about that as well! Notably titles like "The Substance" and this "Late Night with the Devil" are fresh and original new classics that successfully mix compelling stories with genuine suspense & outrageous gore. What more could you ask for?

For their third long-feature film ("100 Bloody Acres" and "Scare Campaign" are high on my must-see list but not easy to find), Cameron and Colin Cairnes present an intelligent combo of two bona fide 70s milestones that actually don't have anything in common. William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" deals with the demonic possession of an innocent teenage girl, and Sidney Lumet's "Network" revolves around the relentless battle for viewing ratings between competing television channels and talk show hosts/icons. Odd as it may sound, "Late Night with the Devil" brings the two together.

The film opens with an extended but fascinating montage, provided with a stern voiceover by none other than Michael Ironside. The intro narrates some of the most shocking news facts of 1977, like the creepy story of the Satanic cult led by Szandor D'Abo, and introduces late night talk show host Jack Delroy. Delroy and his show Night Owls are extremely popular, but never managed to beat the legendary Johnny Carson. He experimented with controversial topics and guests in his show, including a live interview with his terminally wife, but he always remained #2. Delroy than makes his comeback during the most crucial television week of the year, sweeps week and Halloween, with a unique stunt. He arranged an interview with Lilly, the sole survivor of the collective suicide at the cult of D'Abo and allegedly possessed by the demon Abraxas.

The Cairnes' Bros opted for a unique filming style that balances between fake documentary and a found-footage flick. It's obviously fiction, but nevertheless a marvelously realistic and meticulously detailed recreation of the television industry during the late 70s. "Night Owls" is a textbook show, complete with flamboyant décors in hideous colors, attention-seeking people in the audience, countless interruptions for sponsors' messages, tyrannical producers, and the non-stop search for pure sensation. The scenario builds up towards a downright genius - I have no other words for it - climax that is literally exploding with blood, fire, chaos, and merciless evil. The film should have stopped here, but - unfortunately - the Cairnes add another (slightly redundant) montage to let their film finish less abrupt and less apocalyptic. Shame, but still ... "Late Night with the Devil" is an awesome new genre classic, for sure!

(*) subject line of the review refers to a famous piece of monologue coming from Sidney Lumet's "Network".

How ironic. Even though this is a non-stop exhilarating and action-packed season's finale episode, the most brilliant sequence - according to me, at least - takes place at the beginning, when the hunky Billy Hargrove smoothly seduces an overwrought & half-naked Mrs. Wheeler with his bad-boy charisma... While Ted Wheeler is asleep in his chair, of course! Brilliant. Can't wait to see more of Billy's character in season 3 or 4.

What more can I say or write about the whole of season two, and "chapter 9: the Gate" in particular? It's perfect. I've been contemplating whether I should give a rating 10/10. I seldom do this. 9/10, like I already rated few episodes, means pretty darn amazing. A perfect 10 for me means that every nerve and every emotion in my body is flabbergasted. This was the case; I must be honest about it. Even when everything is settled and the danger is gone, the episode remains brilliant with a fantastic epilogue taking place at the annual Snow Dance.

But first, there's a feisty & fiery finale! The group splits up in three. Usually, in horror terms, that's a terrible idea, but here's it's necessary. Joyce, Jonathan, and Nancy need to exorcise the Demogorgon out of Will. Hopper and El return to Hawkins' Lab to close the gate. Steve and the boys (and, of course, Mad Max) should wait, but obviously decide to do something more useful, namely lead the Demo-dogs away from Hawkins' Lab. "The Gate" offers supreme action & excitement left, right, and center. Was season two overall better than season one? I daresay it was, even though it started of slowly and knew a little mid-season dip. And I have a feeling seasons 3 and 4 will be even better. I'll be watching, time after time...

The demo-dogs have invaded Hawkins' Lab and killed every scientist and security guard in sight. The people we actually do care about are still alive, but Will is inadvertently leading the monsters towards them as the Spy... It's a "Dungeons and Dragons" thing. They narrowly escape, thanks to a heroic act by Bob, and everyone gathers at Joyce Byers' house. Jonathan, Mike, and Joyce desperately try to reach the real Will, but the parasite monster is too strong. The group does discover it functions as a Mind Flayer; - a sort of central control room for all the monsters. Yes, it's another "Dungeons and Dragons" thing. Just when the monsters surround them and all hope seems lost, another heroine makes her big re-entry.

Good and gruesome action in the first half, and pure entertainment in the second half of this episode. It must be the first time that all the pivotal characters are gathered in one location, and it leads to funny interactions between the three different age generations as well as to inventive teamwork. The big finale underlines why it was so important to make the sidestep in episode 7.

The previous episode, "The Spy", was a fantastic installment with crucial roles for several of the beloved lead protagonists. One pivotal character was absent, though. El(even) has not been heard of since she escaped from the shed in the woods and showed up at the doorstep of her birthmother. The lack of El in chapter six is more than compensated in chapter seven because, for the first and probably only time, the episode solely and entirely revolves around one character, and it is she. A courageous and daring choice by the writers? Perhaps, yes. The rating and reviews also indicate that "The Lost Sister" in the least popular episode of the series. I, for one, found it a very solid and - above all - necessary chapter.

El's contribution to season two thus far has been small and neglectable. In season one, she was arguably the most important character and almost single-handedly eliminated all the monsters and bad guys. Now she's locked away in a shed and her former friends don't even know she's alive. She feels angry lonely, and useless. Her mental bond with her mother gives El insights about their tragic past, and she finds out she wasn't the only "numbered experiment" of Dr. Brenner. Remember the very first sequence of chapter 1 in season two? El finds Kali, a girl with a different but equally powerful set of powers, and she uses them for revenge. Will El remain with Kali, or will she find the strength to return to Hawkins and battle evil once more.

Although the type of fiction and the target audience are very different, "The Lost Sister" reminded me a lot of the uniquely bizarre episode 8 ("Got a Light?") in "Twin Peaks". They're both stand-alone episodes in the middle of an eventful season, and different in tone and style, but essential to connect a few significant dots and to recognize Eleven for the major role she has. Don't let anyone tell you this chapter is unnecessary or bad. It's not.

Season two of "Stranger Things" is wildly uneven, to say the least. Episode 4 was brilliant, whereas episode 5 was - in my humble opinion - rather disappointing. Episode 6 is truly magnificent again, thanks to non-stop action, the reuniting of characters that belong together, surprising plot-twists, genuine emotional moments, marvelous film & music references, and the insertion of pure horror.

The narrow rescue of Sheriff Hopper in the Upside Down tunnels underneath the pumpkin fields has severe physical and mental consequences for Will. He's completely taken over by the spider-like creature and the doctors/scientists at the Hawkins' Lab even fear for his life. Nancy and Jonathan are euphoric after their "Justice for Barbara" actions with the conspiracy theorist Bauman and grow closer to each other. The unlikely duo Steve and Dustin are still looking for the rapidly growing Dart, and it has become quite clear now they are dealing with a baby-Demogorgon. They're joined by Lucas and Max, who clearly also grew closer to each other. Poor Dustin, he will not get the girl...

"The Spy" underlines why "Stranger Things" is righteously referred to as one of the greatest horror/Sci-Fi series of the last couple of decades. It's compelling, funny, occasionally scary, mysterious, and addictive. Season two is building up towards a phenomenal climax, I'm sure. "The Spy" is near-perfect from every angle, and also includes musical highlights ("Hammer to Fall" from Queen, "Blue Bayou" by Roy Orbison) and awesome film classic homages ("Alien", "Jaws", "Stand by Me", "Temple of Doom", ...)

I'd be lying if I claimed I am not a tad bit disappointed after finishing the fifth installment. Episode four - "Will the Wise" - was an awesome volcano eruption of action and creepy events that were carefully built up towards to. I naturally assumed it would be non-stop excitement from here onwards, but to my big surprise the pacing and plot developments take a few steps backwards again instead.

Sheriff Hopper ended up in the Upside Down, but he's alone and didn't inform Joyce where he was going. As a result, she - together with Mike and Will - spend another full episode guessing where he might have gone, even though he was right with them before! Nancy and Jonathan walked away from Hawkins' Lab with loads of incriminating information, but they bizarrely decide to consult a conspiracy theory weirdo rather than go to the police or media. Dustin lost complete control (and a beloved pet) over Dart and wants to mobilize his friends but can't reach them. Mike is with Will, and Lucas is trying to win back Max. And that is, as far as I'm concerned, the biggest letdown of "Dig Dug". The great gang falls apart. I could feel Dustin's desperation when he suddenly stood alone!

Luckily, the tale does become exhilarating and tense again near the end, with Hopper in deep trouble, a semi-heroic role for boyfriend Bob, and the unlikely pairing of Dustin & Steve. And, yet again, poor Will!

Is "Will the Wise" the quintessential season 2 episode? I believe so, since everything that has been carefully and meticulously built up to in the first three episodes comes to a giant explosion here. All the characters are either led back to Hawkins' Lab or straight to the Upside Down. Nancy and Jonathan's "justice for Barb "quest provides them with an exclusive tour in the sinister lab, given by the new head doctor Owens. The sequence at the park, where they are literally awaiting to be abducted by one or several of the mysterious people surrounding them, is a masterful example of suspense. Eleven is also drawn back to the lab, when she finds a box of photos and newspaper clippings in the shed's secret basement. Poor Will is possessed by the giant spider-like creature from the Upside Down and must communicate with his mom and Sheriff Hopper via drawings. Via these drawings, Hopper discovers what caused the rotten pumpkins on the fields and finds an entrance to the Upside Down. And, finally, Dustin may have underestimated the impact of hiding an unknown and rapidly growing creature in his room.

Marvelous episode! Relatively short, compared to the others in the season, but at least twice as powerful and exciting! We have come to a point with "Stranger Things" that you need to pay attention to every detail and be suspicious of every character. What's the deal with the uncanny Billy Hargrove and why is he so rude to Max? And what about Dr. Sam Owens? Is he really rectifying the mistakes of last year, or will he turn out more dangerous and vicious than Dr. Brenner? "Will the Wise" is such a great episode that I didn't even notice the lack of a nice and catchy 80s song.

For Dustin - by far my favorite character of the show - the Halloween night ended with the discovery of a peculiar little creature in his trashcan. He's immediately fond of the little slug/pollywog type of animal and can't wait to show his friends. Not everyone is excited, though, and poor Will immediately links the critter to his nightmarish experiences in the Upside Down. Eleven can't stand the imprisonment in Sheriff Hopper's shed anymore and breaks out hoping to find Mike, who she misses dearly. We can't blame her, because this episodes also clarifies how she ended up here, and for how long.

Typical middle-of-the-season episode. Still not much is happening, but the plot thickens, the pacing increases, the characters settle into their roles for the season, and the tension mounts. "The Pollywog" ends with an irresistible cliffhanger that is creepy and sad at the same time. Poor Will ... again!

It's Halloween in Hawkins, but most of our favorite townspeople aren't in a festive mood. Eleven is alive and well, but lonely and deeply unhappy hidden away in Hopper's house. Nancy is feeling increasingly guilty and depressed over Barb's death and starts a fight with Steve. Will desperately wants to lead a normal teenager's life, but he keeps suffering from visions of the Upside Down and glimpses of a new terrifying monster. In fact, the only ones having a good Halloween are Dustin and Lucas, since they go out trick-or-treating with the cool new kid in town Max.

Perhaps I'm slightly disappointed that still nothing significant happened in episode 2 but, on the other hand, I've grown to love these characters so much that it was still enjoyable and funny. The tension and mystery are mounting, for sure, and I'm expecting a lot from the rest of the season. The Halloween episode allows for a handful of delicious references & homages, like for example a Michael Myers mask and a principal focus on THE 1984 film-hit "Ghostbusters".

Prior to its fancy release on BluRay (thank you, Arrow Video) I had never heard about "The Chill Factor". This can mean two things. Either it's an unjustly obscure and undiscovered masterpiece, OR there is a good reason why it got forgotten over the years; - namely because it's terrible. Usually, it's option #2 and that's also the case for this one. However, this doesn't mean it can't be entertaining and - luckily - that's also the case for "The Chill Factor".

What we have here is a textbook amateur horror flick, thriving on enthusiasm and goodwill rather than on competences. The year is 1993, but everything looks & feels mid-to-late 80s, the plot is ultra-thin, half of the footage is time-filler, the dialogues are embarrassing, the wannabe atmospheric & foreboding voiceover is pointless, and most of the cast and crew members have only this insignificant title on their resumes.

The plot revolves around a group of six twenty-something dimwits, three couples, that get isolated in an abandoned cabin near a frozen lake after a trip on their snowscooters. These scooters appear to be the pivotal gimmicks of the movie. It feels as if someone in the group had the idea of renting snow scooters, and then use them in horror movie because you don't see that often. "What will the movie be about?". "Who knows. Who cares because we got snowmobiles, right!". So, after an endless hour of scootering footage, macho racing contests, and a dumb accident, there comes a silly story about possession by an ancient evil entity that gets unleased via a sort of Ouija board. It turns into a supernatural slasher with a couple of gruesome kills (notably the icicle in the eye), shots of girls in their underwear, and some hysterical screaming. The second half is quite fun and it's over before you know it.

There's a peculiar (r)evolution ongoing in the horror world... Films like "Terrifier 3"; and a handful of other extremely shocking/gory titles, are immensely popular and appear at the top of the box-office stats. These were, however, the type of films that, just a few years ago, were reviled by the general public and critics of all kinds. Even around the time of the first "Terrifier" movie, released in 2016, people were still talking about tasteless gore without a proper story, only intended for empty-headed horror freaks who are solely interested in bloody massacres. Suddenly, everyone wants to see gore on commercial big screens, and the titles get high scores and raving reviews.

Only good news, right? Yes, but the pendulum is (already) swinging too far in the opposite direction. I notice now, when I review films like "Terrifier 2" and "Terrifier 3" and write rather harsh but honest and objective comments, I get blamed for not being a true horror fan. Excuse me?!? I've been defending the horror genre and fighting for more recognition and respect for over 30 years, but because I criticize the sick antics of a clown with no depth, I'm suddenly a "hater"?

It's a pity, but still I can't bring myself to be praising and positive about a film like "Terrifier 3". I respect writer/director Damien Leone for bringing very bloody and filthy special effects to the screen in a good old-fashioned way, without the help of digital techniques, and because his sense of humor is extremely black and sadistic. But at the same time, I can only conclude his film series and he himself as a director are not making much progress. "Terrifier 3" is another step backwards compared to "Terrifier 2", even though "Terrifier 2" wasn't as good as "Terrifier". I found the 2016 original (not counting its obscure predecessor "All Hallow's Eve") to be a refreshing and efficient bare-bones slasher with a repulsive and motiveless monster. In the second part, Leone tried to add some storylines and backgrounds, but without having to compromise on brutal violence and sadistic massacres. It resulted in a film that was way too long (138 minutes!) and yet only the violence was worth remembering. In the third part, Leone doesn't add anything to the already thin story, except for a Christmas setting. The story is a rehash of what happened in the previous film. Art the murderous Clown's strongest opponent is the teenage Sienna, and she needs some sort of magic sword to destroy him. Sienna is staying with her aunt and niece over Christmas, while Art (and what's left of Victoria from Part 1) wakes up from a 5-year hibernation in an abandoned old house. Art is and remains a childlike creature, so he goes on a killing spree dressed as Santa Claus, but in the meantime he gets closer to Sienna.

The only objective of "Terrifier 3" is to be even more disgusting than its predecessors, and more disgusting than any other horror movie ever made, for that matter. At first glance this seems like a mission accomplished, but nevertheless I think part 3 is less shocking and controversial than part 2. The opening scene is sick (because the family in question didn't do anything wrong) and the final act contains a few genuinely repulsive moments, but everything that happens in between is pure routine slasher guff. Art scalps heads, Art wields the chainsaw, Art experiments with liquid nitrogen, etc. Etc. Gruesome, yes. Shocking? Not really. But I am grateful that the murders of children still occur off-screen... Even Art the Clown and Damien Leone have limits. The series is certainly not reaching its limit for the time being. Part 3 ends with another cliffhanger and number 4 is definitely coming. I'm curious to see if "Terrifier" will still be such a big hype by the time of release.

In Hebrew, Azrael is the Angel of Death; - assigned with the task of safely escorting the souls of the deceased to the afterlife. Okay, but - to be honest - when I hear the name Azrael, the first character that pops into my head is the ginger cat of The Smurfs' lead villain Gargamel! Azrael is a feisty kitty with a bad temper, and she loves to run amok and invade the Smurfs' village to hunt and devour them.

And, actually, that's also how you could describe Samara Weaving's titular character in this film! She's tough, angry, and vicious. She kills a lot of people - or leftovers of what used to be people - that fail to kill her first. Besides, that's also the only plot description I can provide... "Azrael" takes place in a post-apocalyptic (or post-"Rapture") world, and features a mute but energetic Samara Weaving running away from - and brutally killing - evil tribe/community members that want to sacrifice her, and from zombies that look heavily burned over their entire bodies. Nobody speaks, except for one guy who can't be understood, and the amount of background info or context provided is minimal. "Azrael" is a strange existential/experimental survival horror flick, but if you seek extreme violence, strong women, eerie zombies, and exquisite gore, it's guaranteed to deliver!

What the hell is Hugh doing here? Hugh doesn't belong here...

Or maybe, just maybe, Hugh does belong here! Maybe horror is Hugh's true calling, and did he waste 30 years of his career on romantic comedies! That's an exaggeration, of course, and I still love most of his silly rom coms. Fact is, though, that Hugh Grant gives away a perplexing performance as the disturbing and terrifying villain in "Heretic".

There's a lot more about Scott Beck & Bryan Wood's "Heretic" that deserves praise and attention! I didn't expect a horror script full of theological enquiries and debates, and I most certainly didn't expect that I would be so fascinated by the subject! Perhaps it's purely thanks to Hugh Grant's uncanny charisma as Mr. Reed, and the way he intimidates and petrifies two innocent young Mormon girls that show up on his doorstep, but the more talkative "Heretic" became, the more I loved it. Reed is like an eloquent big bad wolf, preying on two cherubic but naïve Little Red Riding Hoods. It's an absorbing thriller spectacle that keeps you gazing at the screen with amazement for half the film. And you know what's most intriguing? Many things Reed says about various aspects of religion make total sense!

When "Sisters" Barnes and Paxton are lured into Reed's eerie basement, "Heretic" maneuvers into more familiar and grotesque territory. Theory is put into practice and verbal terror turns into physical horror, which somehow makes the film less unique. Some action was necessary, I reckon, and luckily "Heretic" remains entertaining and suspenseful throughout.

PS: the link with Radiohead's "Creep" in the first couple of lines isn't coincidental. The film makes great use of the brilliant song, as well as of "The Air that I Breath" by The Hollies.

For those also old enough to remember... I recall, in 1996, one of the most hyped and anticipated films of the year was "Striptease", and this for the sole reason that Demi Moore had a couple of topless scenes. She was in her early thirties and at the absolute peak of her beauty and career. In 2024, for "The Substance", Demi Moore does numerous full and very explicit nude sequences at the age of 61 (!) and after a long & difficult time in her life/career. Why am I writing this? Simply to emphasize what a phenomenally courageous and unique performance she gives here. Endless respect.

Demi Moore isn't the only (woman) who deserves praise, though. Margaret Qualley is extraordinary as well, and what to say of writer/director Coralie Fargeat? Practically out of nowhere (*), she comes up with the greatest and most astounding accomplishment in body-horror of the past 30-35 years! Infamous directors in this domain, like David Cronenberg or Frank Hennenlotter can only be jealous of "The Substance". I realize that's quite a statement to make, but it's pure truth.

It would be a shame to describe the plot too much in detail, but since it's so good and relevant I do want to reveal a little bit. Faced with the painful reality that women over fifty aren't welcome in the film & television industry, Elisabeth Sparkle sees her TV-fitness show cancelled because her sleazy producer wants someone fresh and younger. She stumbles upon an innovative but clandestine and highly secretive treatment. For seven consecutive days Elisabeth transforms into Sue, a ravishing younger version of herself, and builds out a successful new career. The next seven days, though, Elisabeth must recover and stabilize in her "old" body. It works amazingly, but there are strict set of rules to follow, and the most important one is balance, balance, balance...

"The Substance" is an all-round fascinating experience. The script is full of strong messages and biting satire, but Fargeat brings it imaginatively and doesn't shove any morals down our throats. Hollywood discriminates ageing women. TV-studios are still run by white & perverted elderly males. Strong women should support each other but don't. Popularity doesn't depend on talent but on looks and the willingness to show bare flesh. Etc. By the way, with all the nudity and numerous close-up of female bottoms in this movie, it simply had to be directed by a women. It's unthinkable that a male director could have made "The Substance" today! Apart from great story and stellar performances, the film also excels in the depiction of shocking images (the transformations) and outrageous gore. The final act, in particular, is something you won't easily recover from.

(*) Fargeat did direct the Rape & Revenge thriller "Revenge" in 2017. Haven't seen that one yet, but I heard and read great things about it as well.

Half asleep and bored to my senses, I checked the timer to see how far along I was into watching "Pharaoh's Curse". It was at 32 minutes... I don't have to tell you it's quite problematic and frustrating when nothing even remotely significant has happened after 32 minutes, especially if the total running time of the film is only 66 minutes! I considering turning it off, but I'm glad I didn't because the second half suddenly became eventful, fun, and quite good!

During the first half we learn there are riots in Cairo because of an archeological mission. The local populace protests because they fear the careless British treasure seekers will desecrate the tombs of the pharaoh, and thus the military sends Captain Storm and Sylvia - the wife of lead archaeologist Dr. Quentin - into the desert to go and abort the mission. That, ladies & gentlemen, covers the first half hour: people talking, people strolling through the desert, and Sylvia falling in love with a man other than her husband. They arrive too little too late, obviously, because the tomb has been opened. It does mean the start of entertaining second half, though!

Suddenly there's room for a cool plot about an ancient curse, a random Egyptian servant who turns into a creepy 3000-year-old mummy, victims going into a catatonic state to get murdered more easily, the nasty dissection of an arm (!), the lead archaeologist turning into an obsessive maniac, and Sylvia not even having to file for divorce. 30 minutes well spent!

Many people claim this is a Netflix rip-off of the Prime horror-hit "Totally Killer". Could be, but I haven't seen that one yet, and thus I can refer only to "Time Cut" as being a fresh and relatively innovative slasher-flick with the gimmick of time traveling.

I never thought I'd write this, but you shouldn't watch this movie for the nasty kills or for the killer's scary mask, but for writer/director's Hannah Macpherson's emotional & realistic approach of the dramatic impact and aftermath of murder tragedies. This is - to my knowledge - one of the first films to illustrate the suffering of parents after the sudden loss of a child, the everlasting trauma of an entire town, and the emptiness in the lives of siblings who always get compared to their deceased brother/sister. I am now probably overpraising "Time Cut", but I really appreciate this film more as a psychological drama instead as another typical (and redundant) teen slasher.

In April 2024, the talented but neglected teenager Lucy prepares herself to join her parents for the annual memorial ritual in honor of her sister Summer, who died in 2003 by the hands of a serial killer that never got caught. When she stumbles upon a weird machine in a barn, she inexplicably gets catapulted 21 years back into time; - mere days before the murders begin. Lucy meets and befriends her sister, and with her knowledge of the future she can prevent the tragedy from happening... But then Lucy discovers the murder of her sister is the sole reason of her existence.

As a slasher or a period teen comedy, "Time Cut" is quite weak. The kills are tame and bloodless, and the focus of the plot is not on suspense or mystery. The element of timelapse results in a few semi-comical situations (like the use of a modem to connect to the internet) and a couple of nostalgic musical choices (Vanessa Carlton, Hilary Duff, Wheatus, Avril Lavigne, ...). "Time Cut" is admirable for its ideas. There are a few clever and unexpected - and perhaps slightly too ambitious - twists near the finale, too. People might dislike the film because it's a mediocre slasher, but try to look beyond this facade, and you might find a decent coming-of-age melodrama.

In my mind there's an eternal debate ongoing about who my favorite director of all times is. Mario Bava, ...or Lucio Fulci. Whenever I lean towards Fulci, I deliberately exclude some of the titles he directed in the final years of his career. "The Sweet House of Horror" is perhaps the worst, but it's still a genuine Lucio Fulci; - meaning there's extreme gore! And that is peculiar because it's made-for-television with a child-friendly plot.

The start is quite dramatic, with a happily married couple coming home from a night out and stumbling upon a violent burglar who murders them. Of course, in Fulci's world, this means that the husband repeatedly gets his head banged against a marble pillar until his brains are stuck to the wall, and the wife is bludgeoned with a kitchen object until her eyeballs pop out. Classy! The couple's children - Marco and Sarah - are supposedly heartbroken, but they blow bubblegum bubbles at the funeral and appear to be giggling the entire time. Auntie Marcia and Uncle Carlo take custody of the kids and move into their house, but the actual parents return as well, as ghosts and flickering flames, to punish their killer and to prevent their house from being sold.

The aforementioned kills, plus the nasty death of Guido under a truck and a bizarre melting moment during the finale, are the only highlights. The rest of the movie is almost painful to watch, with terrible acting (and even worse dubbing), especially the children. Fulci doesn't bother to keep the killer's identity secret for long, and he gets what he deserves after half a movie already. Why did he bother to wear a mask, anyway? The other half is stuffed with sentimental appearances of mum & dad, shenanigans with bulldozers and obese real-estate agents, and meaningless glowing stones.