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The Radleys (2024)
lacks both bite and humor
The Radleys is a painfully dull, pointless attempt at a vampire comedy that fails on every level. Damian Lewis, who deserves much better, is completely wasted in this lifeless suburban vampire story, which has no bite and zero humor. The film's weak attempts at social commentary are as bland as its characters, turning it into a tedious mess of worn-out vampire clichés and shallow family drama. The pacing drags, the jokes fall flat, and there's no real horror to speak of. Director seems confused about whether to focus on comedy or drama, leaving the audience stuck in a boring limbo. The Radleys is a bloodless disaster that should've stayed buried, only serving to remind us how far the vampire genre has fallen. Lewis ought to fire his agent for dragging him into this cinematic nightmare, which is about as thrilling as watching paint dry at a funeral.
Spin the Bottle (2024)
More like Spin the Cringe
The plot is a lazy, rehashed mess that attempts to cash in on the nostalgia of party games but delivers nothing more than tired clichés and painfully awkward dialogue. The acting feels like a high school drama project gone wrong, with performances that range from wooden to outright cringeworthy. The pacing is all over the place. Production values feel cheap, as if the entire thing was thrown together without any real thought or effort. This movie is not just a waste of time; it's a blatant insult to viewers' intelligence and a sad reminder of how low some filmmakers will stoop for a quick buck. Even Justin Long couldn't save this mess.
The Returned (2013)
A movie with a unique spin on this zombies, worth a watch
A fresh and clever take on the zombie genre that stands out from the usual brain-eating chaos. It's more of a thoughtful thriller, exploring what happens when the infected can live normal lives with a daily dose of medication. The story focuses on the human side of things, raising interesting questions about society, fear, and morality in a world still dealing with the aftermath of an outbreak. The performances are solid. It's tense, thought-provoking, and refreshingly different from your typical zombie flick. If you're looking for a smart and suspenseful movie with a unique spin on the zombie genre, this one's worth a watch.
The Crow (2024)
A Confused Movie
This is one of the worst action movies I've seen in a long time. The biggest issue is that it takes itself way too seriously. The plot is shallow, yet they waste so much time on it. The protagonist and other characters have almost no depth and almost don't know anything about them, so you don't care if they die. There's no explanation for why the antagonist is the way he is or why he does what he does. Why does the main character (Eric/The Crow) end up stuck between worlds instead of just dying? Who is the mysterious guy (Kronos) in this in-between world, and why is he helping? The fight scenes are subpar, and Eric has zero fighting skills. His only "power" seems to be not dying, for reasons that are never explained. Honestly, I could keep going, but I don't want to waste any more of my time or yours.
This movie weighed down by its overly serious tone, an underdeveloped plot, and characters that lack depth or intrigue. The lack of clear motivations for both the protagonist, Eric, and the antagonist (don't even remember the name) leaves the viewer uninvested in their fates. The lousy fight scenes and the inexplicable immortality of the main character only add to the confusion. This could have been a promising action flick had it understood its own identity, but instead, it ends up as a time-wasting exercise in confusion and missed opportunities.
Longlegs (2024)
Overhyped "Horror" Mess
This movie is a majorly overhyped "horror" flick. I genuinely don't get all the 7-8 star ratings and positive reviews. The only explanation I can think of is that many of those reviews were written by ChatGPT.
If you're a horror fan or like analyzing films, steer clear of this disaster. You'll end up disappointed, confused, and probably bored. I was really looking forward to this because of the hype, but it fell short in every possible way.
The acting was atrocious. The female detective and Nicolas Cage seemed to be in completely different movies. The script was weak, and the plot was painfully dull. Nothing in the movie was genuinely terrifying. It took way too long for the story to come together, and there were no jump scares-hell, it felt like there wasn't even an attempt to scare the audience. I was bored the entire time. The setting was decent, but it only became clear where the movie was taking place halfway through. The backstory of Nicolas Cage's character was muddled. Where did he come from? Why is he doing this? What's with his obsession with dolls? Is he even human? What's the deal with the name "Longlegs"? Why did he use that weird language to send a message? How did the female detective connect the triangle and '666'? It seemed like she just figured it out one day without any explanation of her supposed "psychic" abilities. Plus, what was that black smoke coming from the doll when the mom shot it? And what about the steel ball? It's unclear whether the female detective had any prior knowledge. At first, she seems to know things, but by the end, she's clueless. The movie left so many questions unanswered.
Bottom line: this film can't decide if it wants to be a serial killer thriller or a supernatural horror movie, and it fails at both. It's not scary, shouldn't be labeled as terrifying, and is honestly laughably ridiculous. Skip this one.
Hollows Grove (2014)
A blatant rip-off of Grave Encounters minus everything that made Grave Encounters memorable
Wow, talk about a groundbreaking idea... a ghost-hunting TV show set in a real haunted location. I bet no one's ever thought of that before for a movie. Hollows Grove is a snooze fest disguised as a found footage movie (more like found footage of boredom). Imagine the most annoying crew of guys you've ever seen on screen, like the Avengers if they were all jerks, exploring a spooky old orphanage and bumping into the angry ghost of little orphan kids. For 40 minutes, it's a whole lot of nothing, and then suddenly a cat jumps out and splats against the wall. The rest of the movie can't even live up to the clearly fake exploding feline scene. This movie is pretty much like one of those terrible "ghost caught on tape" videos you'd find on YouTube. The acting, The writing, The script, and the jokes are terrible, which sums up this movie. TERRIBLE!
The best part of the movie was Lance Hendrickson's buttcrack and ballsack (If you were unfortunate enough to watch this flick, you know what I'm referring to). Poor Lance Hendrickson, he got roped into this mess (Hey, even Lance has bills to pay.)
Madame Web (2024)
a cringe-worthy misadventure for Sony Marvel
Madame Web is a cinematic disaster, a slap in the face of Marvel fans and comic book enthusiasts. The plot is convoluted and nonsensical. The acting is wooden and uninspired, with characters that are unidimensional and uninspiring. The direction is aimless and writing is lazy and unimaginative. The ending is a complete letdown, leaving audiences with more questions than answers. Madame Web is not just a bad Marvel movie, it's possibly the worst Marvel movie ever made. It's a disservice to comic book and Marvel fans everywhere. This film is a catastrophic failure on all fronts. Save yourself the agony and avoid this cinematic disaster at all costs.
Rotten Mango (2020)
Captivating True Crime Podcast: A Must-Listen Recommendation
Love this podcast. Discovered it while searching for a true crime case on the Toy Box Killer (David Parker Ray). The first episode I listened to had me hooked. Stephanie's storytelling draws you in and she covers all the essential details, and Stephiancé (sorry, the husband!) asks all the right questions that I want to ask, helping enhance our understanding of the case. I admire the dedication and research she puts into each episode, delving into the killers' backgrounds and the subsequent trials. I even learned new information about cases I was already familiar with. This is my top True Crime podcast choice. Strongly recommended!
As Above, So Below (2014)
Unearthing the Hidden Gem of Found Footage Horror
"As Above, So Below (2014)" is a hidden gem that deserves more recognition. Set in the catacombs beneath Paris, the film weaves history and horror into a compelling narrative. The theme of personal redemption adds depth to the story (something you don't often see in found footage), acting is above average. The horror impact is relentless, with an atmosphere that's as claustrophobic as it is unsettling. The pace keeps you on the edge of your seat, and the ending is a satisfying culmination of the eerie journey. Despite flying under the radar, it's a must-see for horror and found footage enthusiasts. "As Above, So Below" takes audiences on a captivating journey into the unknown, making it a film that deserves far more attention than it has received.
Night Explorers: The Asylum (2023)
Uninspired and Predictable
Upon reading and considering the review by andrew9180, I must admit I may have been overly critical of this one, so I updated my rating and review accordingly.
The story is desperately unoriginal and tedious, the performances are dreadful, the characters are obnoxious, the dialogue feels unnatural and awkward, and the ending is predictable as hell.
The movie lacks suspense and fails to offer anything new. Overall, with its overused plot, terrible acting, obnoxious characters, lack of suspense, predictable ending, awkward dialogues, and poor directing, This is a prime example of a failed production.
Infinite (2021)
Garbage
Garbage Movie. Waste of time and disrespectful to audiences intelligence.
Army of the Dead (2021)
It's the worst zombie movie I ever watched
It's the worst zombie movie I ever watched. Only nice thing about it is the special effects.
I Am Lisa (2020)
worst movie ever
Probably the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. I've seen bad horrors, but this one is on the another level of terrible. don't waste your time.