Change Your Image
KingM21
I've been a member of IMDb since early August, 1999. Time forgot that profile so now I have this one. The registered date is a bit off (blame a past site update), as it should be Tuesday, October 31 2000 (at 12:17:45, to be specific). Halloween! Fitting, really, because the horror board is where I mainly post. Speaking of posts, my count before IMDb removed the feature was 1,989. Ah, the good old days.
The Horror Board's Top 100 Scariest Films (2004/2005) http://horror.wrvids.com/scariestfilms2004.html http://horror.wrvids.com/scariestfilms2005.html
The Theme Song (click mp3):
http://www.microsofa.net/mw/——-1-.htm
Go on a Hit:
http://www.users.fast.net/~wadef/bil.html
In the Business World:
http://management.about.com/b/a/016932.htm
Eyes Wide Shut:
http://tiny.cc/vvbJj
Scary!:
http://i34.tinypic.com/35bbdbp.jpg
The Monsters Are Due On IMDB:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtYnihTt3hg
The elderly boss monkey:
http://tinyurl.com/6ktvdw5
Movie Log:
August 2015
Vacation (2015)
Mission: Impossible, Rogue Nation (2015)
Mother Lode (1982)
Fantastic Four (2015)
The Gift (2015)
Soylent Green (1973)+
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
The Accused (1988)
The Omega Man (1971)
Skyjacked (1972)
Black Samson (1974)
American Ultra (2015)
Sinister 2 (2015)
Three the Hard Way (1974)
The Big Gundown (1966)
No Escape (2015)
Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)
September 2015
The Cynic, the Rat & the Fist (1977)
Grand Slam (1967)
Mad Max (1979)+
A Man Called Sledge (1970)
Nacho Libre (2006)
The Visit (2015
Straight Outta Compton (2015)
Dark of the Sun (1968)
It's Alive (1974)
Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)+
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
In the Navy (1941)
Rio Rita (1942)
Black Mass (2015)
A Walk in the Woods (2015)
Rare Exports (2010)
The Walking Dead: Season 5 (2014)
Everest (2015)
The Green Inferno (2013)
The Madness of Max (2015)
Falcon Rising (2014)
October 2015
Snowbeast (1977)
The Houses October Built (2014)
The Houses October Built (2011)
Digging Up the Marrow (2014)
Maggie (2015)
The Editor (2014)+
Burnt Offerings (1976)
Embedded (2012)
The Martian (2015)
Hell and Back (2015)
Alien Abduction (2014)
The Witching (1983)
The Mothman Curse (2014)
The Bloodstained Shadow (1978)
Short Night of Glass Dolls (1971)
Who Saw Her Die? (1972)
The ABCs of Death 2 (2014)
Evidence (2012)
Berberian Sound Studio (2012)
Welcome to the Jungle (2007)
Sicario (2015)
The Walk (2015)
Waiting for Guffman (1996)
The Tapes (2011)
Honeymoon (2014)
Angst (1983)+
Macabre (2009)
Late Phases (2014)+
Children of the Damned (1964)
Village of the Damned (1960)
Crimson Peak (2015)
Goosebumps (2015)
The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)
The Jokesters (2015)
The Hearse (1980)
The Mummy's Shroud (1967)
The Jungle (2013)
Eyes in the Dark (2010)
I Spit on Your Grave 3 (2015)
The Atticus Institute (2015)
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
Bone Tomahawk (2015)
The Decline of Western Civilization III (1998)
Starry Eyes (2014)
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)
We Are Still Here (2015)
Night Tide (1961)
American Gothic (1988)
Wer (2013)
The Dead 2 (2013)
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)
Prime Evil (1988)
End of the Line (2007)
Wild Beasts (1984)
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015)
Rock the Kasbah (2015)
Lisa and the Devil (1973)+
The House of Exorcism (1975)
November 2015
Spectre (2015)
Vikings: Season 3 (2015)
Secret in Their Eyes (2015)
The Night Before (2015)
December 2015
Creed (2015)
Krampus (2015)
A Christmas Carol (1984)
In the Heart of the Sea (2015)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
South Park: Season 1 (1997)
South Park: Season 2 (1998)
Goin' Down to South Park (1999)
January 2016
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Foxcatcher (2014)
Forrest Gump (1994)
South Park: Season 3 (1999)
The Hateful Eight (2015)
The Revenant (2015)
The Forest (2016)
South Park: Season 4 (2000)
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)
The Danish Girl (2015)
The Finest Hours (2016)
Fifty Shades of Black (2016)
South Park: Season 5 (2001)
February 2016
Hail, Caesar! (2016)
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
Zoolander 2 (2016)
Deadpool (2016)
Better Call Saul: Season 1 (2015)
Race (2016)
The Witch (2015)
The X-Files: Season 10 (2016)
Gods of Egypt (2016)
March 2016
London Has Fallen (2016)
Spotlight (2015)
South Park: Season 6 (2002)
South Park: Season 7 (2003)
Dead Ringer (1964)
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
April 2016
Eye in the Sky (2015)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Game of Thrones: Season 5 (2015)
Hardcore Henry (2015)
The Jungle Book (2016)
Better Call Saul: Season 2 (2016)
May 2016
Banshee: Season 3 (2015)
The Twelve Chairs (1970)
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Young Frankenstein Com. (1974)
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Some Girls (1988)
Silent Movie (1976)
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
The Witch (2015)+
June 2016
Deadpool (2016)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
Warcraft (2016)
Natural Born Killers (1994)+
Central Intelligence (2016)
The Neon Demon (2016)
The Shallows (2016)
Dolemite (1975)
July 2016
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
The Human Tornado (1976)
Mackenna's Gold (1969)
Petey Wheatstraw (1977)
Disco Godfather (1979)
Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party (2016)
Ghostbusters (2016)
Lights Out (2016)
Rude (1982)
SPL: Kill Zone (2005)+
Kill Zone 2 (2015)
The Mermaid (2016)
August 2016
Batman v Superman: Ultimate Cut (2016)
My Best Friend's Birthday (1987)
Suicide Squad (2016)
Star Trek Beyond (2016)
Key and Peele: Season 1 (2012)
Nerve (2016)
Sausage Party (2016)
Key and Peele: Season 2 (2012)
Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)
War Dogs (2016)
Ben-Hur (2016)
Key and Peele: Season 3 (2013)
Carrie (1976)
Key and Peele: Season 4 (2014)
September 2016
Don't Breathe (2016)
Morgan (2016)
Key and Peele: Season 5 (2015)
Unforgiven (1992)
The Disappointments Room (2016)
Sully (2016)
For your reading pleasure (sources provided upon request)...
If you cut a face lengthwise, urinate on it, and step upon it with straw sandals, the skin should come off. This information is to be treasured.
At a banquet, Caligula was suddenly seized with a fit of helpless laughter. The consuls reclining next to him asked if they might share in the imperial merriment. Caligula, wiping the tears from his eyes, managed to gasp, You'll never guess! It suddenly occurred to me that I had only to give a single nod, and both your throats would be cut on the spot.
Caligula was much addicted to gladiatorial games and other gory sports. On one occasion when the assembled Romans cheered on a team that the emperor did not support, he leaped to his feet in a rage, shouting, I wish all you Romans had only one neck!
Comic Book Guy: Last night's Itchy and Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Every moment of every day, the devil waits for but an instant. As it is, it has always been, the devil's instant is our eternity.
God forgive me for the time I've wasted. - Ebenezer
http://news.filefront.com/wheres-duke-togo-when-we-need-him-golgo-13/
cdcovers.cc
Reviews
Hannibal (2013)
Watchable but not really must-see.
I actually thought the second season was better than the first; an overkill of unbelievably extravagant murder scenes and an annoyingly clairvoyant Will Graham left the first season feeling cheap and contrived. The second season settles down some and is all the better for it. Graham's plight during the first half of it never quite rings true but it's better than what we saw before, and the show as a whole tightens up as the Vergers arrive on scene. I haven't watched the final season yet but so far, I'd say this show is just OK, watchable but not really must-see. I'll update this review once I've finished the entire series.
1408 (2007)
Excessive, and dull.
It seems to be an appreciated film around here but I really didn't care for it myself. Aside from it being your very typical Hollywood horror production, I just wasn't able to buy into any of it, from the unconvincing (as usual) supernatural psychological occurrences to the over-the-top yet generic CGI room variations. The film lacks any notion of subtlety and is, in fact, quite excessive with its visual hauntings. It all becomes just so tedious and dull. Don't look to the plot for any help either, as sentimental pap is placed above suspenseful mystery here. On top of all this is John Cusack's "deer-in-the-headlights" performance. Looking back, I guess I kinda hated the movie, actually.
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
A shame they didn't do more with that plot line.
I found it kind of tedious; the old routine of setting up cameras and watching bits and pieces of uneventful footage, just waiting for something spooky to occur, has become tired by this point in the series, leading to it being the most unconvincing of the three films to boot. The scares came at a predictable pace, telegraphed by each new round of footage, and none of them were particularly creepy or memorable. Scenes such as the outline of the ghost in dust or the sheet dropping behind the babysitter fell flat for me, feeling forced rather than haunting. That could just be because this is the third time around for these now familiar "activities" but truth be told, I've never found them to be all that effective or convincing. They play like those reenactments on supernatural TV shows rather than legitimate footage; they are, at best, only superficially eerie. A hint of plot finally rears its head during the last sequence (a coven of witches), which made me sit up for the first time during the movie, but it fizzles out with a shock scene for the audience to gasp at rather than something more interesting or satisfying. A shame they didn't do more with that plot line. Anyway, on the plus side, the success of this film should lead to more supernatural and/or hand-held horror, and hopefully better than the likes of what this series has had to offer.
Infection (2005)
Retains a modicum of creepiness.
A film for all those who say The Blair Witch Project was tedious, stupid, or poorly acted, or rather, a real example of a film that is tedious, stupid, and poorly acted. Still, despite its many faults, Albert Pyun's Invasion does retain a modicum of creepiness, perhaps a testament to the first-person approach (here, through a cop car's camera) combined with mysterious horror. The end credits run for 16 minutes, or nearly a fifth of the movie's running time. They just keep going and going, and going, and going...and going, and going. And going some more. Is this review now long enough to be submitted? Yes, yes it is.
Hierarchy (2009)
You can't never go home again.
Truth be told, I wasn't in any big hurry to watch Hierarchy, a straight-forward character drama helmed by "Bloody" Mike Fredianelli. Oh, he's successfully dabbled with this kind of material before but it's always been supplemented with guns, gangsters, and guidos. Furthermore, such artsy/indie productions which attempt to explore the human condition have enormous potential for embarrassing failure, like the notoriously bad A Decision to Ask Why, resulting in a most pretentious and dull experience. Hierarchy doesn't quite steer clear of all those trappings (a reoccurring character in the form of a grotesque beach bum certainly means to convey some kind of sweeping critique on the film's themes
I'm sure I'll find it quite poignant and perhaps even weep at finally discovering what it is) but for the majority, the characters actually develop into real people, free (mostly) from unconvincing cinematic sentimentality, and without even realizing it, I felt drawn into their conflicted lives. I couldn't directly relate to any of their individual situations but their anger, guilt, depression, and doubt are universal feelings, and the full-layered characters are sure to hit home in some way with most viewers. In this sense, it's a pretty powerful motion picture.
Fredianelli wisely realizes that with a mature ensemble piece, moments of brevity are still a necessity. Scenes such as his character's (a mid-level movie producer named Jeff) highly theatrical lisping of a Shakespeare passage or the threatening Schwarzeneggerian priest will certainly bring smiles to the faces of everyone watching. And being a longtime fan of Wild Dogs cinema, I appreciated some of the subtler touches too, like the brief zoom on a passing 'geriatric in the wild' during a scene filmed at a park.
The success of Hierarchy heavily depended on the main cast (Fredianelli, Anthony Spears, Maggie VandenBerghe, Brian Gallegos, and Ronald Kaplan, who has a wonderful "old-time jazz" singing voice, on full display here), who were all up to task
they each turn in the convincing, naturalistic performances the film required. And the supporting cast is just as strong. Rusty Meyers, for example, is only in one scene (as a Hollywood studio head, he has it out with Jeff, and Jeff's integrity, over a script) but it's one of the film's most brilliant. Jeff's verbal duel of intimidation with Father Mulligan, played by Golden Globe winner Brett Halsey, was also quite noteworthy.
So, initial hesitations aside, I found Fredianelli's Hierarchy to be a thoughtful and very human film. Cheers to everyone involved.
The Minstrel Killer (2009)
You won't be the same human after viewing it.
Writer/director/star Michael Fredianelli once again dares to tread where few filmmakers do, bravely melding layers of unsettling racial themes with the current trend of 70's grindhouse throwbacks. In The Minstrel Killer, officer Tex Holland is called to a backwards Texas town to assist with the investigation of a vicious whipping murder, a rarity in those parts beyond the scope of their limited force, namely the local lawman, Pike McGraw (television star Eric Andersen in the part, who brings his considerable experience with such roles to the table). Several more deaths occur shortly after his arrival, involving a hanging and cruel tar-and-feathering. As the slave-orientated murders stack up, additional help arrives with Tyrell Jones (played by the very capable Anthony Spears), a sharp, levelheaded, black officer. All this resonates deeply within Holland, as he deals with a personal problem of his own; he recently discovered his wife (newcomer Vanessa Celso in the demanding role) cheated on him with a black man. And for him, the atrocities of the case have only just begun to unfold
The Minstrel Killer establishes its suspenseful, gritty roots of post-1960's horror with reverent enthusiasm. Right off the bat, the film opens with a fantastic stalking sequence of a bikini-clad female who is sunning herself in the countryside, a scene that will instantly make any grindhouse fan feel at home, before jumping into effectively crude animation panels that accompany the opening credits. The story does get somewhat sidetracked early on, with a 'left field' subplot involving a family of cannibals (cue Texas Chainsaw Massacre imagery). After it gets there, however, the scene plays out fairly well, with every actor giving convincingly filthy and depraved performances, as if it were second nature to them. Fredianelli's ability to secure and place such talent in these types of roles has always been admirable. For me, though, where the film shines brightest is with the Minstrel Killer himself. In black face, emotionless, complete with suit, white gloves, and top hat, he is a mysterious, striking, and wholly unique cinematic killer. Credited (fittingly) as the Shape, he lurks with chilling menace before swiftly striking at his prey. All his shots are filmed beautifully, whether they are his quickly approaching feet in a victim's background or a simple low-angle close-up, the exposure from the sky making his grotesque face so dark as to only just see the white of his eyes. The part is played by a nearly unrecognizable Michael Nosé and, despite having no dialogue (technically, though his demeanor speaks volumes), it may go down as one of his very finest performances. Whether he's whipping an unfortunate soul or dancing a jig willy-nilly, he owns this character fully.
Fredianelli, an artist who never shies away from controversial themes or graphic content, delivers yet again with The Minstrel Killer, my favorite full-length feature of his so far. The path his troubled character, Tex Holland, leads us down leaves us shaken and provoked, elevated all the more by his powerful portrayal, both emotive and intense. Is Holland consumed by racist rage, or driven to it? Who is the Shape and what is his true motive? Or is he more a metaphorical character, an ironic reflection of prejudice and punishment clashing? Unlike the black and white narrative of 1977's Fight For Your Life, The Minstrel Killer leaves us with complicated questions and, perhaps to a fault, precious few answers but one thing is certain, you won't be the same human after viewing it
par for the course with a Wild Dogs Picture.
On a final note, the original music by Aaron Stielstra (who also has a small part as a scummy, micturating, lowlife hood) must not be forgotten. The extremely moody synth tracks and terrifying stingers, which would've been well suited for any Fulci gut-muncher, fit this film like a greasy glove. I think it is Stielstra's best score work yet.
See Naples... Then Die (2008)
Operation Discharge
Out of the up and coming production company, Depth Charge Pictures, comes See Naples
Then Die, an Aaron Stielstra directed film that will leave many viewers in a state of fevered delirium and dysentery. As soon as I heard the voice of the introductory read-over, I lol'ed like a tweenage girl watching Blossom reruns, which I now suspect was a setup for the disturbing decent I was about to bear witness to. Mexican street thugs, hillbillies, harelips, Asian and Italian stereotypes, paint sniffers, and obscene man-blobs (fat-stuffed with so much pillow they make those Biggest Losers look almost human) all intermingle, verbally excreting and running rampant through McGinty Springs and the director's personal stock footage of Naples (or similar locations). Truth be told, I had little idea what was actually going on for the first 50 minutes but by then, the aforementioned delirium had taken hold and it was smooth sailing until the end, where a jittery, slow-motion gunfight brings it all full circle. The intricacies of human nature this film explored were both complex and moving, nearly leaving me emotional during its final moments. It was during those moments I realized the film's brilliant, underlying design, a subtle but provocative critique on sociological mores and the very destiny of mankind. Three young children are briefly shown at the beginning, middle, and end; one with what is commonly referred to as a mullet (in Italy, no less!), the infamous Fat Jessica, and Demon Baby, respectively. These afflicted youths relate to and, indeed, validate the main characters in profound ways, and represent the succession of the deepest depths of (in)humanity. Furthermore, taken as a cautionary tale, the parallels between the kids and the ghosts (past, present, and future) of Dickens' A Christmas Carol are impressive, and frightening in their implications, to say the least. Stielstra is clearly a studied talent to be taken seriously. I also appreciated how the gorno subtext cleverly introduced early on contrasted with the subsequent displays of excessive and watery squib-work, a commentary some will surely find controversial but I believe is important to the wellbeing of contemporary cinema.
The overall quality of the production was reminiscent of early Wild Dogs shorts, which is to say it was obviously low-budget and often shoddy, facts thoroughly embraced and wallowed in. The A-list cast, however, shined in their depraved roles, nearly convincing that they really were an assemblage of mental handicaps, hobos, and Backyard Wrestling rejects, if one didn't know better. Stielstra himself bravely assumes a multitude of embarrassing (the latino rap) parts, a brave decision given the obviously demanding forethought and direction SNTD must've required. I reckon most other indie directors would shudder placed in his bold shoes. Established auteur Michael Fredianelli lends his formidable acting talents to the picture but there's only so much salvaging he can do with such shamefully limited screen time. SNTD also boasts a powerful soundtrack made up of 80's and classic rock, viking metal (inspiring a particularly memorable dream sequence), easy funk, and stirring synth riffs, which I loved.
The hand-drawn DVD sleeve was magnificent, as was the lone extra, A Man Named Henry, a heartfelt ode to the great Henry Silva, whose inspiration was felt throughout the film. In all honesty, it's hard to believe adults were behind See Naples
Then Die, it's that experimental. Watch it, and don't decide to ask why, just absorb this boundary-pushing oddity of legitimate IMDb listings.
Rachel Getting Married (2008)
Embarrassingly amusing film, when it's not putting you to sleep.
This movie is almost like that hilariously politically-correct and painfully obvious atrocity, Crash, only with more of a focus on interracial and multicultural diversity and one character's (Anne Hathaway, in another forced "bad girl" performance) struggle with drug rehabilitation. With this family, no wonder she turned to the needle. I also detected a distinct hint of Gummo essence amongst the proceedings, beyond the shaky docu-cam work and that 'Everyday' song being used in the trailer. The characters may not be poor and filthy (debatable, perhaps) but certainly they have roots stemming out of Xenia, Ohio. All of them. Embarrassingly amusing film, when it's not putting you to sleep.
Xenobites (2008)
"After all, what love can I give the world if none is ever given to me?"
A full-length extension of one of the director's early short films, Xenobites is a stylish horror/action noir about a private dick (Icarus Van Calder, another one of Fredianelli's patented nihilist antiheros) who clashes with Asian mobsters and battles demonic law enforcers on the side. The feature is shot in atmospheric black & white with occasional moments of color, such as during the flashbacks and, most strikingly, the many welcome discharges of blood. In fact, I dare say this is some of the best blood and squib work of Fredianelli's prolific career so far. An overly dark scene here or there aside, the photography is quite good as well, professional even. And completing the technical package is Aaron Stielstra's superb synth music, giving the film a moody, Carpenteresque tone rarely found in contemporary cinema. Xenobites' plot is pretty original, though the somber story feels just a bit dry at times and takes a somewhat jarring, albeit stimulating, twist about halfway through, completely changing Van Calder's MO to a much more grand design. Dark themes of self and worldly disillusion fit themselves neatly into the proceedings, conveyed by the cast of dependable regulars and the wonderful addition of Henry Lee as the apathetic Yakuza boss badass. Finally, a Wild Dogs picture wouldn't be a Wild Dogs picture without its gritty violence and potent action, and this one delivers the goods. Beatings and bullets abound, swords cross, and real martial arts enter into one particularly brutal, glass-shattering fight scene. The athletic, stunt-filled foot chase is the best Fredianelli has ever put on celluloid and the elevator sequence, where a Xeno out for revenge is after Van Calder, rivals James Cameron's one in T2. Mighty impressive stuff for a low-budget movie.
I don't think Xenobites breaks much new ground for Fredianelli and company but, in numerous ways, it does pretty much perfect it. And still, it was nice to see a return to his roots, so to speak, with the material, giving it the much-deserved feature treatment. One can only hope he does the same with his infamous Higgy and Puffs saga.
Oldeuboi (2003)
One of the best films I watched in 2004.
Oldboy, a Korean action thriller, is one of the best films I watched in 2004! Oh Daesu, on his way home to celebrate his daughter's birthday, finds himself kidnapped and placed in a small apartment-like room. Despite his attempts to find out why, he is never told anything over the 15 years he remains prisoner there! During the time in his cell, he stays busy by attempting suicide, watching TV, trying to escape, and preparing for when he does get out. It is at that time Oh Daesu will begin his violent, disturbing quest for answers. No more needs to be said, as this is a film best left revealed as you watch it for the first time. I will mention one scene for the action fans though. Oh Daesu, on his way out of a building, starts into a hall and encounters a whole gang of punks prepared to stop him. Armed with a mere claw hammer, our hero smashes his way to the other end, realistically dishing out pain (and taking his share of it back!). We witness this awesome scene of action beauty unfold over the course of about three minutes, scrolling from the left to the right, and with absolutely no cuts! Anyway, with its unique and suspenseful plot, great characters and acting, and sharp sense of style and music, Oldboy was an impressive feature. The film was less than a year old and a remake was already in the works! If you get the chance, I definitely recommend watching it. I'm looking forward to now checking out director Chan-wook Park's earlier film, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance.
Comment originally submitted on September 5, 2005.
A Bird in the Bush (2008)
"Straight up is fine."
Throughout his impressive filmography, Michael Fredianelli has always been willing to mix-and-match genres within individual features, but I cannot recall "romantic comedy" ever really being at the forefront like it was in A Bird in the Bush. The story, about the awkward relationship of a neurotic loser (and titular "bird," destined for capture or companionship, or perhaps both) and an unbalanced blond (Jana Ireton, in a strong performance) whose serendipitous pairing leads them from an innocuous husband-and-wife ruse (gone wrong in the most amusing of ways) all the way to being on the run from low-rent mafia killers with a crime witness in tow, is somewhat reminiscent of True Romance, only with a deeper level of characterization in the leads and more slapstick, un-pc humor, and oddball antics. Even the mob boss, Daddy Don Guido (delightfully caricatured by Ronald Kaplan), seems to be channeling a less homosexual version of Saul Rubinek's angry persona from that Tony Scott flick. Aaron Stielstra's brief role as the Flatulent Hobo (a powerful part he seemed born to play) would leave anyone in stitches, including his dummy double, who suffers reckless abuse in several hilariously unexpected scenes (one of which being an expectedly rousing car chase). It was also nice to see Michael Nosé (among other Wild Dogs regulars) back in action, especially in one inspired bit where he was trying to pass himself off as a Vietnamese orphan.
A Bird in the Bush is not the kind of film I typically seek out but it goes in so many quirky directions -be it the dramatic exchange between Babs, her hateful mother and enabling father or glass-pane carriers avoiding disaster during the aforementioned chase sequence only to unluckily slip on a shiny penny- that it's hard not to be thoroughly entertained by it.
The DVD includes a few good trailers and some funny outtakes, plus a bonus short in the form of a revealing "hobo" documentary. Let's just say that there are some strange human breeds out West there. Sadly, the short is all too short; I can definitely see a full-length Fredianelli doc on this profound subject matter striking it big with fans and hoopties alike.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Mummy, this film smells of death.
Already feeling dated (about five years too late), Tomb of the Dragon Emperor isn't nearly as good as the decent original but fares slightly better than the unbearably awful Mummy Returns. After the interesting opening, the movie seemed to take forever to get going (not the last of its dry spells), which really hurt the flow, and quickly became decidedly uninteresting. All the close-up shaky-cam action scenes didn't do the movie any favors at all either. The CG yeti looked like disgruntled bunny rabbits on steroids. Maria Bello is nearly unrecognizable. Jet Li's pock face is almost always covered in CGI. In short, Dragon Emperor is right at home in director Rob Cohen's consistently crappy filmography.
Stalker (1979)
Stalking...
Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker is a cerebral, and perhaps pretentious, science fiction picture that examines aspects of mankind's existence (purpose, life, faith, etc
) through philosophical dialogues and cinematic metaphors. It's all quite open to interpretation and has a loose, almost indiscriminate stature about it (which could be due to the on-the-spot script rewrites and changes). Upon reflection, I do think Stalker offers some reasonably interesting themes and thought-provoking allusions but I don't know if it's anything particularly deep or new or even very significant (or at least, it never feels like it, aside from the needlessly(?) weighty presentation). A further hindrance is the film's dynamic, or lack thereof. It's a tediously long, distant, drawn-out, mostly uneventful affair. The story is compelling enough, however, and The Zone locations, made up of some decrepit building structures overrun by lush wilderness, were effectively haunting.
Phenomena (1985)
Powerful, pants-wetting horror.
Phenomena, a supernatural giallo, was the last film I needed to see in Dario Argento's smash horror run from 1975's Deep Red to 1987's Opera (my two favorite giallos, incidentally). After the solid opening sequence, the movie moves at a steady but slow pace, intermittently drifting between dreamy (or nightmarish, as it were) and dry segments. A young Jennifer Connelly, fresh off of Leone's Once Upon a Time in America, delivers a very fine performance though, keeping the dryer parts bearable. Donald Pleasence lends his gentlemanly presence to the proceedings as well but unfortunately, his screen time is limited. The plot continues to lay itself out in a slightly confounding way until the third act, which is when Phenomena's gears are dropkicked into place, hard. An intense, head-spinning reel of insanity is what follows; mucus spewing, a foul pool littered with maggot-covered body parts, bloody thumb dislocation, a horrifying child mutant with Patau Syndrome, glorious and grotesque fly swarms, lake fires, decapitation by sheet metal, and a vicious chimp with a damn razor!! The aforementioned pace and artistic set pieces that led up to these sick atrocities only served to double the impact. Powerful, pants-wetting horror. Topping it all off is the soundtrack. Argento experiments with a couple hard rock tunes, which kinda bugged me here...I don't think they worked nearly as well as they did in Opera. Fortunately, however, the fantastic title theme by Claudio Simonetti, as well as the other score pieces, make up for that and more. Simonetti's, and Goblin's, music is always a highlight of an Argento feature.
Pale Blue Balloons (2008)
"A powerful picture...from the first frame to the last."
Odd title, new Wild Dogs logo, not a bad start. As I ventured further into this most recent production from talented director/actor Michael Fredianelli, I checked the length and was rather taken aback at the considerable running time of about 150 minutes. Fortunately, for the most part, the picture was able to fill that time more than well enough to sustain interest. The story, by up and coming screenwriter Todd Jurgess, revolves around Dave, a so-far-under-the-cover cop that his own people have trouble keeping tabs on him. Dave is also a degenerate, homicidal, heroin addict who doubles as a hit-man for the very people he is supposed to be infiltrating and really, this makes up his preferred profession, as well as the crux of the storyline. All of his activities related to that profession (cold assassinations, freeing whores of their painful life, continually seeking out that next shot of smack, etc
) certainly make for an entertaining, albeit dark, journey and even though the story arc never curves too much (at least up until Dave gets re-involved with his ex-partner's girl), I can honestly say I was never bored with the proceedings. I did find the girl's desire to resume the relationship slightly jarring though, and the brave pairing of the unwholesomely romantic drug montage and that famous tune from Midnight Cowboy was just weird. I appreciated the gorno-like torture sequence, an unexpected but welcome twist, and thought reliable character actor Michael Nosé filled the menacing role nicely. The final climax is perhaps a little too heavily influenced by Scarface, even down to the soundtrack, but ultimately feels like an appropriate ending, not to mention the fact that bullet-riddled deaths are almost always highly pleasing. The production values and professionalism on display in Pale Blue Balloons has come a long way since the days of Once Upon a Time in San Jose and definitely could and should hold its own on the indie circuit. The acting was almost uniformly topnotch (the outtakes were a testament of all the effort put into getting these performances) and I believe this was the most diverse ensemble of any Wild Dogs production I've ever seen. If pushed for complaints, I think Pale Blue Balloons could've benefited from a little tightening in the plot and some trimming for length but as it is, it's a powerful picture that remains true to its nihilistic themes from the first frame to the last. Good job, to everyone involved.
Wendigo (2001)
I saw the Wendigo
It was a cold winter night and I was driving home slowly because of the snow-covered roads. Suddenly, as I peered through the falling flakes, there it was, right in front of me. I ended up with nearly a thousand dollars damage to the front of my truck
dang wendigos!
I liked Wendigo but it's not really for everyone. It's a bit slow moving in parts and I'm sure some would just find it dull. Also, it's easy to tell the budget was limited during some of the creature's scenes. Still, I enjoyed it. I had read several short stories about this legend in my younger years and it was pretty cool to see it brought to film in a serious, even sometimes creepy, manner (as opposed to Troma's very silly Frostbiter). This film was able to give me a feeling that this forest spirit could possibly exist for real, at least more so than similar films. The story was not always focused on the Wendigo and when it was, it was mostly by way of the young boy. The way this was handled is what gave this movie its air of believability, as if we are KNOWING it through the child's eyes, the eyes we all used to have. Anyway, the acting was, for the most part, good and the direction low-key yet stylish. For me, Wendigo captured the imagination that I had as a child
that there was "something" out there but really only I knew or at least, thought, about it. Life still went on as normal, of course, but from time to time, in the background, those feelings came to me, just like in the movie.
Larry Fessenden's Habit is also worth a watch.
Secret Window (2004)
Average-at-best thriller.
Sadly, director David Koepp was not able to achieve the quality of his Stir of Echos with this film. Not that Secret Window is terrible though. The plot is fairly standard; writer Mort Rainey, whose divorce is messily in process, has a creepy Amish-like man called John Shooter approach his cabin, claiming Mort stole his short story. John goes on to terrorize Mort through the rest of the movie, even though Mort is trying to prove his work is original. Mort also has to balance in his divorce, the bodyguard/detective he hired, and his sanity. Johnny Depp, as usual, brings a lot to the film as Mort
his acting here was half the enjoyment. John Turturro did a fine job as well. Still, Secret Window failed to really grab on to the viewer and just comes off as an average-at-best thriller. The ending was cool though, even if it was a bit predictable. You may want to see The Ninth Gate instead.
Crying Freeman (1995)
It's just his thing.
Crying Freeman is based off a Manga and tells the tale of the Freeman, a tattooed assassin (played by Mark Dacascos) "brainwashed" to kill for a secret Chinese crime syndicate. And kill he does (often in slo-mo); he is skilled with guns, swords, and what have you! Anyway, in the opening double hit, a female (of course) artist is witness to the violent act. He lets her go, for now, but the rule is no one can see his face and live. He is sent back to snuff her out but as he waits in her house, he finds a painting of himself. He realizes that this woman is not a threat and in fact, has some kind of feelings for him. When she finally arrives, he cannot kill her. Now, in addition to the Mafia who want revenge for their two slain men, Freeman's own group decided he broke the rules and must die for it (after one last hit, of course). There are many more ins and outs to the story but I think you get the idea. There is a decent helping of good, violent action and this is probably the film's strong point. Still, the general atmosphere is monotone and the plot drags at times. If you can find a copy, it's worth viewing, I guess, but not for $25. Christophe Gans' Brotherhood of the Wolf (also staring Dacascos) blows this out of the water. By the way, Freeman sheds a tear from time to time, hence the title. I forget what the exact reason was though
it's just his thing.
School of Rock (2003)
Jack Black and his brand of humor.
Over the past few years, I've come to enjoy Jack Black and his brand of humor. In School of Rock, he plays a rock'n'roll-obsessed guitarist in an amateur band that is about to compete in a "Battle of the Bands" contest. When the other members kick him out because of his antics, he takes his friend's job (behind his back) as substitute teacher of a grade school class for some easy cash. As he soon finds out, these kids have musical talent and a plan forms
he has a band again! This fun, light-hearted flick was pretty enjoyable and had plenty of references to classic rock, which rocks. While Black stole the show, the kids were actually playing the instruments and they're pretty good. The DVD has commentary from the kids, which was just OK, and from Black and director Linklater, which was funny at times. The best feature on the DVD is Black's short video to Led Zeppelin, begging for permission to use their Immigrant Song!
Da uomo a uomo (1967)
Is that really the best means of travel Death can arrange?
Being as The Dollars Trilogy are by far my favorite Spaghetti Westerns and Death Rides a Horse is one of the most similar to Leone's style that I've seen, I highly enjoyed it. I found it in Walmart's Bargin Bin for $6
it came with three other flicks too (Beyond the Law, God's Gun, and Cry Blood Apache). I popped it in my player thinking I'd just watch a few minutes for now but ended up watching the whole thing, despite a horrible transfer. The musical theme is excellent (but short) and was used in Kill Bill, which used several other things from this film (revenge plot, red-screen flashbacks, and the opening was very similar to O-Ren's anime sequence!). Anyway, DRAH was a cool SW in the same vein as Leone's films
I just hope they release a better DVD someday.
Il grande silenzio (1968)
Another fine Spaghetti Western from Sergio Corbucci!
In this one, the bounty killers (led by an evil but affable Klaus Kinski) are actually the bad guys, as they heartlessly hunt down and kill harmless (and perhaps innocent) men. The wife of one of these men hire Silence, a mute gunman who is against the ruthless ways of the bounty killers (when he was just a child, a group of them destroyed his family). Jean-Louis Trintignant plays Silence and does an excellent job of conveying his emotion through his eyes and facial gestures. One thing that gave this one a unique feeling compared to other SWs was the use of cold, snowy surroundings
some of the photography was stunning. The music by the legendary Ennio Morricone really enhances the desperate tone of each scene. The ending is a real kicker. I won't spoil it but it's definitely effective and unforgettable. The uncut Fantoma DVD release (re-release?) had a clean print and clear sound and included the alternate ending, which was amusing after seeing the original ending. I liked the glove though!
Brother (2000)
If you've yet to see this film, seppuku is an honorable choice.
Takeshi Kitano. He's the man. Brother tells the tale of a Yakuza gangster who is forced to leave everything behind in Japan and start anew in America. And boy does he know how to build up his organization! Within a very short time, he assembles and controls the second most powerful group of organized crime in Los Angles, second only to the Italian Mafia, who is not happy about it! Filled with calm moments and explosive violence (a Kitano trademark), Brother is a very cool gangster flick indeed! Mixing the two cultures together worked out well and made for some interesting, and humorous, viewing. If you've yet to see this film, seppuku is an honorable choice
or you could just rent it. I do have two questions, if anybody cares to answer them. What did Takeshi do wrong that he had to leave Japan and whose body is shown near the end lying on gravel?
Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974)
Kronos is part ninja.
Quirky, stylish, humorous, and creepy, this flick makes for a fine introductory experience to the world of Hammer. This take on vampire lore has said creature drain the actual life of its victims, right through the lips, leaving merely an ancient shell of the person afterwards! Kronos is part ninja. There's a great scene in the bar where three hired baddies attempt to cut him downKronos has his sword drawn, two bloody swipes, and put back in its sheath before the guys knew they were dead! Kronos also moves with the speed of a ninja. Each time his peasant girl (Caroline Munro) rests up against him and he gets called for, the next scene just shows her falling over. Great stuff. Another highlight was the trial and error vampire death testwatch it and see. Overall, Captain Kronos made for a pretty entertaining watch and had some nice original details and twists.
Dracula, Prince of Darkness (1966)
This is one of the best tales of Dracula I've ever seen.
The plot is simple; four travelers are abandoned by their coach driver near an old castle. Mysteriously, another horse-drawn buggy arrives with no rider. Of course, they decide to take it and move on but the horses are set on taking them to the castle, which I thought was pretty cool. When they arrive, they find they were expected, a table set for four. Out comes Klove, the creepy caretaker, who informs them that the deceased owner's wish was that the castle stay open for travelers. They decide to take advantage of this
and the story takes horrific turns from there. The resurrection of Dracula was a very good scene and the ending was a rather original twist on the vampire mythos but I enjoyed it just because of that. This was the first film in which I had seen the great Christopher Lee play the role of Dracula and everybody was right; he's perfect as the bloodsucker
and he doesn't even utter a word in this one. His tall build, strong face, and piercing eyes are more than enough to inspire his character. Andrew Keir as Father Sandor, a Van Helsing type role, was also of note. All in all, this Hammer production mixes in a bit of blood, some terror, and a whole lot of classic atmosphere to make for one classy, enjoyable horror flick.
Cidade de Deus (2002)
THAT great?
Over the course of 25 years or so, we are told the (true?) story of several poor youths who grow up in the slums of Brazil, leading to a life of violence, drugs, and organized crime. The focus, though, is usually on Buscapé, a young man who chooses not to dive head first into the grime but to simply try and work his way through it. He also has a penchant for photography, which is just the ticket he needs. City of God is similar, both in style and content, to the likes of Pulp Fiction and Goodfellas. Trendy camera-work, (semi-)hip dialogue and humor, shocking, brutal violence, and a mob-like plot line are all aspects of it and actually done decently. The scene in which a boy must choose to be shot either in his hand or foot is a favorite! That all said, there was something about this movie that I did not like and I can't put my finger on it
I just didn't leave the theater thinking it was THAT great. And a ranking of 16 (48 when I wrote this review back in February of 2004) on IMDb? I just don't see that. It wasn't a bad movie though.