Don Most credited as playing...
Ralph Malph • Purvis
- Potsie Weber: Rich! Rich!
- Ralph Malph: Come quick!
- Richie Cunningham: What? Is there something wrong?
- Potsie Weber: It's a shark!
- Ralph Malph: The Fonz...
- Richie Cunningham: Fonz got eaten by a shark?
- Potsie Weber: He did? Who said that?
- Ralph Malph: Not me! What're you talking about?
- Richie Cunningham: Well, you just said "The shark..."!
- Ralph Malph: Nooo! Listen! The Fonz is gonna jump *over* a shark!
- Ralph Malph: [Richie is worried that he's going crazy] Come on, Richie! You're no crazier than the rest of us! Look at Potsie. You think he's normal? And Fonzie... super-cool Fonzie. Fonzie with his "Ayyy!" I mean, that's pretty... that's really sicko when you come right down to it.
- Richie Cunningham: I wouldn't let him hear you say that.
- Ralph Malph: You tell him I said that, and I'll deny it! Every word!
- Richie Cunningham: OK, Ralph - take it easy.
- Ralph Malph: Now you take me - nice, normal Ralphie Malphie. I got no quirks. But I know what they're saying about me. They're saying my hair's too neat, I'm too cute, and girls crave my bod.
- Richie Cunningham: They're not saying that, Ralph.
- Ralph Malph: Yes they are. They're also saying that I look like a movie star because my teeth are too even.
- [watching a Chicago Bears football game in 1956]
- Ralph Malph: That Bears quarterback is no good. He's washed up. He's 30.
- Richie Cunningham: That's ridiculous. George Blanda still has a few more good years left.