Persephone's Pomegranate's Reviews > The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band

Disgusting. Tacky. Immoral. This book is an insult to all intelligent life forms on earth.

And I loved every moment of it.

Hey, it's Nikki. I'm not home because I'm dead.

My goal for this year was to read more classics. But why devote my time to good literature when I can read about Motley Crue rubbing egg burritos on their crotches, snorting ants, and ruining other people's lives?

It's all about priorities.

Someone compared Motley Crue to the Golden Girls, and it's the most glorious thing I've ever seen on the internet.



The Dirt is the most entertaining biography you'll find. It's shocking, funny, and strangely touching. The band is a complete mess. Not in a cute but in a hookupwithyourgrandma kind of way. I'm not joking. The band had a bet for whoever could sleep with a mother-daughter-grandmother team. I'm kind of impressed.

What is each member's highest offense? There are so many that it's impossible to list them all in one short review. The Crue has always had issues, and by 'issues,' I mean 'catastrophes.'

Nikki Sixx had his mother arrested on a false charge. He overdosed, died, and came back to life. He slept with the band's A&R man's girlfriend right in front of said man. Vince Neil crashed his car while driving drunk, causing the death of his friend, Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle, and seriously injuring two people in another vehicle. Tommy Lee never had a relationship that wasn't highly toxic. Mick Mars, the band's designated weirdo, is the nicest of the bunch.

I grew up listening to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys, and Spice Girls. Later on, I started listening to music from the 80s, early 90s, and classic rock. 80s music gets a lot of flak, but I love it. It's so fun and unpretentious. The book was made into a movie starring Machine Gun Kelly, Douglas Booth, Iwan Rheon (you may remember him from Game of Thrones), and Pete Davidson.

I watched it for the plot:



The fact that Nikki and Tommy, a.k.a. the Terror Twins, didn't end up together haunts me. I was robbed of a Hollywood ending.

I'll end this review with a quote from Tommy Lee. Duuuuuude. Fuck yeah. Finally. How much room is Nikki going to get, bro? Fuck. The dude tried to put his own mother in jail. I love him; we've practically been married for twenty years. But sometimes it's dysfunction junction over there. I'm not like that. I'm a hopeless fucking romantic.

Truly a Renaissance man.

P.S. For all the lovers of 80s entertainment - there's a great video on youtube called Waiting For A Star To Fall: A Tribute to 80's Entertainment, made by The Vintage Tribute.