Conditional Love Quotes

“Self-righteousness is much like a spiritual egocentricity. It constitutes a secular type of love that thrives under conditionality, one in which is only existent after an individual meets the adopted standards of the condemner; oppositely, unconditional love is a holy love.”
― Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile

“The real test of love is loving those who we feel are the hardest ones to love.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“A man who loves others based solely on how they make him feel, or what they do for him, is really not loving others at all - but loving only himself.”
― Criss Jami, Healology

“We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. —Codependent No More

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don’t believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact. While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren’t loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn’t love us, or love us in ways that worked, that’s not our fault. In recovery, we’re learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we’re learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us. Just as we may have believed that we’re unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve. Today, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.”
― Melody Beattie

“It is a healthy approach not to expect persons to turn out precisely how you would have wished.”
― Criss Jami, Healology

“Your love is as stable as you are: It's not about how good a person makes you feel, but rather what good you can do for them.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“Nothing on earth hurts my soul deeper than conditional love.”
― Brooke Bida

“The purest regret, no matter what, is thinking you didn't love enough.”
― Criss Jami, Healology

“In order to survive our youth, many of us became sensitized to which conditions we had to play to, to receive attention. No wonder we mistook this attention for love. We thought love came in finite quantities—it had to be competed for among siblings, or it had to be paid for with exacting dues.”
― Maureen Brady

“What is conditional love?

Conditional love is an oxymoron.
Conditional love is an imposter of love.
Conditional love is something other than love,
because you cannot conditionalize the un-conditional.”
― Donald L. Hicks, Look into the stillness

“Unrequited love: there's no such thing.
If it is unrequited it isn't love, it's expectation [that they should treat you in a certain way].

It's not allowing the relationship to be what it is.
It's not accepting the love in the form in which it actually comes in that relationship as being real enough, as being good enough.

That's the only thing that creates the idea of "unrequited" is you're not really paying attention to what it is, you're only paying attention to what you expect it to be.

[For the person experiencing unrequited love;] the real unrequited love is that they're not loving themselves as much as they could. That's what's unrequited, and they're simply getting a reflection of that.”
― Bashar

“And then I thought of my loneliness, my approaching death, how nobody knew me, how nobody cared. I thought of my parents, long dead, and how little love they'd given me. I thought of Walter, of his nauseatingly gentle caresses. Even when he meant to be tender, he was condescending and controlling. I'd never been loved properly. Nobody had ever said, "You are wonderful, even your bitterness and neurotic energy are wonderful. Even your suspiciousness, your rigidity, your graying, thinning, hair, your wrinkled thighs?" I'd been young and beautiful once, and even then nobody had kissed me and said, "How young and beautiful you are”, not unless they wanted something from me. And that was Walter. Always wanting something, some permission to be boastful, some permission to have power. I cried and cried, thinking of the love I could have had, had I never met that awful, deleterious, pompous man. I let tears drip from my eyes, my head bent toward the gravel, and as they splatted they made a little trail behind me. Maybe Charlie would pass by later and follow the trail. Poor Charlie. He was the only one on Earth who loved me, and even he had left. My head began to throb. I got dizzy again.”
― Ottessa Moshfegh, Death in Her Hands

“That was the problem with love. It never happened on your terms, it happened on theirs.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Some of the people who hate me love some of the sentences that I have written, until they get to the name of the person to whom the sentences are attributed.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“It is the lies he's telling her - as he has been, Nassun understands suddenly, her whole life - that really break her heart. He's said that he loves her, after all, but that obviously isn't true. He cannot love an orogene, and that is what she is. He cannot be an orogene's father, and that is why he constantly demands she be something other than what she is.”
― N.K. Jemisin, The Obelisk Gate

“All of Israel was blessed with a conditional covenant. If Israel kept her end of the bargain, her Husband guaranteed protection from enemies and food shortages. (De 28:1-4)
pg 17”
― Michael Ben Zehabe, Lamentations: how narcissistic leaders torment church and family

“Gilbert was always saying that he loved people. He needed them around him. He was always saying that he loved me, and I imagine he honestly believed this, though of course his handling of my career reflected favorably on himself. Love never did mean quite the same thing in the entertainment business as in less volatile circles.”
― John P. Marquand, Melville Goodwin, USA

“Unconditional love is eternal, but conditional love is happy. This isn’t selfless, you don’t want misery and loneliness. You want togetherness and ordinariness. You don’t want the in-betweens.”
― Snehil Niharika, That’ll Be Our Song

“The world's love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain "hooked" to the world-trying, failing,and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart.”
― Henri Nouwen

“hate school but love school and threat it right so you can be where you love to be all right?”
― Mohlalefi j motsima

“Unconditional Love has conditions.”
― Goitsemang Mvula

“Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he earns; and many a man would not be in a relationship with or married to his woman, if he earned twice as much as he earns.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Love me as I am or not at all;

If you aren't pleased with what you see

Cast me back into the deep swirling sea”
― Maddy Kobar, With a Reckless Abandon

“Why pretending you love? I like the way you and your actions hate me.”
― Tinashe Hodhera

“There is, however, a place in the world for conditional love. It is often that people take an unconditional love for granted: they cease putting any effort into the relationship, treat their partner like dirt, and are left to the surprise that, after so much abuse, so many chances, all the times forgiven, the other person had finally endured enough and ran for their life.”
― Criss Jami

“Doctors and nurses offer unconditional care, they treat whomever it is their job to heal. In order to be ethical they must be impartial.
But to be in love is to be partial. It is to be specific. All romantic love is conditional, in that the condition is the persons essential nature. Their themness. If your love for a person isn’t predicated on the condition that they are them, right now as they are, and is instead predicated on their need for that love, or on your thinking that you could do a good job of making that person happier or better, then you are a nurse. You are a robot hero. And maybe you can save the day but you are not a lover. You are not in love.”
― CJ Hauser

“I'm not sure how old I was when I realized my parents were never going to love me the way I wanted them to– that their love was conditional, dependent on my own behavior and whether I fit their definition of success.”
― Tashie Bhuiyan, A Show for Two

“The contradiction of the time had been the heightened moral obligation to consider other people as a means to keeping one's own self-interest afloat. Showing other people care meant avoiding them.”
― Jo Hamya, The Hypocrite