A national bestseller, Authentic Happiness launched the revolutionary new science of Positive Psychology—and sparked a coast-to-coast debate on the nature of real happiness.
According to esteemed psychologist and bestselling author Martin Seligman, happiness is not the result of good genes or luck. Real, lasting happiness comes from focusing on one’s personal strengths rather than weaknesses—and working with them to improve all aspects of one’s life. Using practical exercises, brief tests, and a dynamic website program, Seligman shows readers how to identify their highest virtues and use them in ways they haven’t yet considered. Accessible and proven, Authentic Happiness is the most powerful work of popular psychology in years.
Seligman is the Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology in the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Psychology. He was previously the Director of the Clinical Training Program in the department. Seligman was elected President of the American Psychological Association by the widest margin in its history and served in that capacity during the 1998 term.[4] He is the founding editor-in-chief of Prevention and Treatment Magazine (the APA electronic journal), and is on the board of advisers of Parents.
Seligman has written about positive psychology topics such as The Optimistic Child, Child's Play, Learned Optimism, Authentic Happiness," and in 2011, "Flourish."
So many self-help books, questionnaires, and popular psychology books talk about what’s wrong with our lives and how to make the bad bits better. Martin E. P. Seligman asks us to look instead at what’s good, and learn to turn good into excellent, making this a book on mental wellness, rather than mental illness. It’s a refreshing change.
Wouldn’t you rather feel more happy instead of less miserable? But this isn’t just a question of looking at half-filled cups when they might be half-empty. Simple questionnaires (with more complicated versions online) invite the reader to find their own strengths so we can play to them. And then, in a nice twist on the “So this is who you are” approach, we’re asked to identify which strengths feel natural to us, which feel enlivening. We might be good at leading but feel drained every time we have to lead, making leadership a strength, but not a signature strength. Those final, happy, signature powers become the key to enlivening everyday life.
But first, are you happy? Not just smiling today, but waking up happy, contented, hopeful, optimistic. And what things will make us happy? The author has looked through many cultures to find those things common to most. Again, there’s a twist—he’s not looking for features valued in all; just in most, because there area always exceptions—that’s why they’re called exceptions. Religion becomes something of worth, though the author’s own “religious” beliefs, expounded in a final chapter, might not agree with his readers’. The answer’s not in the details but in the approach.
Raise happy children. Turn your job into something you enjoy (without necessarily changing jobs). Find your strengths and enjoy who you are instead of trying to turn into someone else. And enjoy this book. I did.
Disclosure: My sister-in-law lent me a copy of this book then I went out and bought my own.
پیشنهاد می شه به: اونایی که کارشون عذاب روحشون هست و می خوان بدونن چه طور می تونن از همون کار لذت ببرن اونایی که حس می کنن به اندازه کافی خوشحال نیستن و می خوان لذت بیشتری از زندگی ببرن
محتوا و بررسی کتاب مارتین سالیگمن نوسنده کتاب، بنیان گذار روانشناسی مثبت گرا هست و ازین جهت یه جورایی دنیای روانشاسی رو چهره جدیدی بخشیده. اما چرا؟ خیلی جالب نویسنده توضیح می ده که از پیدایش روانشناسی، همیشه سعی بر مقابله و درمان بیماری های مختلف روانی بوده و این علم غالبا با مشکلات و مسائل منفی سر و کارداشته همیشه تا دهه نود که یه عده به این فکر می افتن و به جای تمرکز بر روی "چه طور بیمار نبود و چه طور بیماری را درمان کردن" نگاهشون رو به "چه طور می توان خوشحال و راضی بود" معطوف می کنن. این از روانشناسی مثبت گرا
بخش اول کتاب مزیتای خوشحالی رو بررسی می کنه که ماشالله از جذاب جلوه کردن گرفته، تا سلامتی بیشتر، روابط بهتر و عمیق تر و چندین مورد دیگه رو شامل می شه.
به طور کلی احساسات مثبت یه شخص که روی زندگی و حال فعلیش تاثیر می ذاره در سه سطح بررسی می شه توی این کتاب: احساسات مثبت مروبط به گذشته، حال و آینده آینده احساساتی مانند خوش بینی، اعتماد، ایمان .... گذشته احساساتی شامل رضایت خاطر، غرور و متنات، و احساسات مثبت مربوط به زمان حال، لذت، شور و شعف، آرامش و مهمتر از همه وضعیتی با نام "جریان" یا فلو رو در بر می گیرند.
کتاب پر هست از تستای مختلف روان شناختی، از تست خوش بینی گرفته تا امید به آینده و مهمترین دست آورد کتاب که می تونه بالقوه زندگی رو متحول کنه تست قدرت های نهفته در وجود هر شخص هست.
شاهکار کتاب کار بزرگی که دکتر سالیگمن و همکارانش انجام داده مطالعه جامع توصیه های کلیه آیین ها و مذاهب از بودا و کنفوسیوس ارستو گرفته تا اسلام هست و یک هدف رو ازین مطالعات دنبال می کردن و اون هم استخراج فضیلت های اخلاقی که فراگیر هستند. یعنی ویژگهایی شخصیتی که شخص با مصرف کردن اراده زیادی در خودش ایجاد می کنه، مثل خرد یا شجاعت. اما چرا؟ طبق آخرین یافته ها برای داشتن خوشحالی اصیل و ماندگار، رشد دادن این فضیلت ها درون خود بهترین راه هست.
The belief that we can rely on shortcuts to happiness, joy, rapture, comfort, and ecstasy, rather than be entitled to these feelings by the exercise of personal strengths and virtues, leads to legions of people who in the middle of great wealth are starving spiritually. Positive emotion alienated from the exercise of character leads to emptiness, to inauthenticity, and depression
نویسندگان در نهایت، شش فضیلتی رو که فراگیر هستن و بین همه آیین و مذاهب مشترکند به صورت زیر معرفی می کنن:
1. Wisdom and knowledge 2. Courage 3. Love and humanity 4. Justice 5. Temperance 6. Spirituality
مهمتر اینکه هر کدوم ازین فضیلت ها چند زیر شاخه دارن که بهشون می گن توانایی یا قدرت. یک نوع ویژگی شخصیتی نهفته در ژن ما که هر کس بالقوه ازش برخوردار هست و برای اینکه شخص بتونه صاحب این فضیلت ها باشه باید قدرت هایی ازون فضیلت رو که درونش نهفته داره بشناسه و به کار بگیره. (یک مورد کافیه، نیاز به داشتن کل زیرمجموعه قدرت ها از یک فضیلت نیست) مثلا زیر شاخه های مورد اول از قرار زیر هستن:
1. Wisdom: I. Curiosity II. Love of learning III. Judgement IV. Ingenuity V. Social Intelligence VI. Perspective
هر شخصی ممکنه یک یا چند مورد ازین قدرت ها رو درونش داشته باشه که یا می دونه یا نمی دونه. اما شناختن و به کار گرفتن این قدرت ها چه مزایایی دارن: فرض کنید شما قدرت "عشق یادگیری" رو داشته باشید درونتون. برای اینکه زندگی شاداب و جذاب تری داشته باشید، باید فعالیت هایی رو در زندگی به کار بگیرید که ازین قدرت ها استفاده کنه. مثلا کسی با قدرت "عشق یادگیری" شاید از سینما رفتن لذتی نبره، ولی اگر در یک سمینار آموزشی شرکت کنه نه تنها لذت بیشتری می بره و اوقات خوشی رو سپری می کنه، بلکه بعد از اون، علاوه بر یک حس خوب، یک شخصیت بهتر ازش به جا می مونه.
پیام کتاب این هست که این قدرت ها رو بشناسیم و هر شغلی که داریم، سعی کنیم به نحوی انجامش بدیم که با این قدرت های ما سر و کار داشته باشه. دراین صورت یک شغل خسته کننده می تونه تبیدل بشه به یک کار با معنا و جذاب.
فرمول خوشحالی روانشناس ها به یک فرمولی از خوشحالی رسیدن که به صورت زیر هست: H (happiness) = S + C + V
S: (Set point) این متغیر، میزان خوشحالی و رضایت هر فرد هست که توسط ژنتیکش مشخص شده. جالب این هست که چه اتفاق فاجعه بار (مثل از دست دادن یکی از اعضای بدن) چه اتفاق بسیار خوشحال کننده (مثل برنده شدن در لاتاری) برای فردی بیفته، بعد از مدتی سطح رضایت و خوشحالیش به این مقدار اولیه بر می گرده.
C: (Circumstances) این مورد شرایط خارجی هست که در خوشحالی فرد می تونه تاثیر گذاره و نا گفته نماند حداکثر می تونه خوشحالی فرد رو تا پانزده درصد افزایش بده که شامل مواردی می شه مثل: 1. یک ازدواج خوب 2. داشتن دایره اجتماعی غنی 3. کم کردن مسیر کار تا منزل 4. ...
V (Voluntary Actions): اما مهمرین متغیر این معادله که بیشرین تاثیر رو می تونه داشته در خوشحالی فرد، اعمالی هست که به طور اختیاری می تونیم انجام بدیم که اصلی ترین کار ممکن برای به حداکثر رسوندن این متغیر به کار گرفتن اون قدرت هایی هست که در بالا گفتم.
جمع بندی کتاب بعضی مواقع به بیان مسائل خشک و غیر جذاب شخصی نویسنده می پردازه و بزرگترین نقدی که می تونم داشته باشم به کتاب اینه که علی رغم پیام بسیار خوب و کار ارزشمندش در خصوص قدرت های شخصی، به جز ارائه چند مورد کوتاه، هیچ توضیحی در خصوص راه های به کار گیریشون نمی ده. مثلا کسی که قدرت دوراندیشی رو داره، چه طور می تونه ازش استفاده کنه و بهره ببره.
در کل، با توجه به رسالت بزرگی که این کتاب سعی در بر عهده گرفتنش داره یعنی باز کردن دید مردم برای به کار گیری قدرت های شخصیشون جهت کامیابی، کتاب بسیار بسیار با ارزشمندی هست. علاوه بر این راه حل ها و تکنیک های زیادی رو هم برای کسانی که درگیر اتفاقات بد گذشته هستن یا نسبت به آینده بدبین هستن ارائه می کنه که خود من قبلا تجربه استفاده از یک سری تکنیک هاش رو داشتم و بسیار بسیار موثر و مفید هستند و قطعا یک بار خوندن این کتاب رو برای کسانی که دنبال زندگی با آرامش و شادی بیشتر هستن پیشنهاد می کنم.
تست هایی رو که در بالا گفتم رو می تونید در سایت زیر انجام بدین و قدرت های شخصیتون رو پیدا کنید: www.authentichappiness.com
When I started Authentic Happiness, I had the highest hopes—that this might finally be the way out of my depression. When I finished reading it, I felt even more hopeless and depressed. Now that I've had some time to reflect on it, I just feel ambivalent and disappointed. Seligman promises to offer us a fundamentally new approach to psychology, focused not on curing illness but on supporting flourishing, not on treating depression but on creating happiness. He promises to build a foundation for this program based on honest appraisal of personal strengths and a life of virtue. He... does not succeed. He does not completely fail, and perhaps he points us in that general direction, but he doesn't get us there. The worst parts are when he tells us the key to happiness lies in self-delusion. He doesn't do this often, but once would be too many. The delusion he most commonly advocates is what he calls “optimism”; optimism might sound like a good thing, but listen to how Seligman defines it. For Seligman, an optimist believes that good things are always personal, permanent, and pervasive, while bad things are always impersonal, temporary, and local. Of course, this is simply not true. In reality, both good and bad things can be either personal or not, permanent or not, pervasive or not. In fact, I think my depression involves a delusional level of pessimism, believing that bad things are worse than they really are and good things are not as good as they really are. So in that sense, I should be recalibrating my perception. But Seligman doesn't help us to recalibrate to the truth; instead he tells us that higher optimism is always better, even if it makes you into a raving maniac. One thing I really do try to do is repeat a list of affirmations about good things in my life. But when I do this, one criterion is absolute: They must be true. Without this requirement, the whole enterprise falls apart; we might as well be wireheads. This is not authentic happiness at all, but happiness founded upon lies. Most of the time, Seligman actually seems to appreciate this, and encourages us to focus on our real strengths instead of pretending we have strengths we truly lack. But about once a chapter or so, he slips, and tells us that we should nurture positive illusions. It's weird; for him there doesn't seem to be a big difference between happiness due to good things and happiness due to delusional attitudes. For me, the difference is absolutely fundamental. It was Seligman's slips that triggered my despair on the train ride home from Chicago. I realize now that it was an overreaction, but this was my thought process: 1. People with positive illusions are happier. 2. Therefore, the only way to be happy is to delude yourself. 3. Therefore, life is awful; anyone who sees life as it truly is will be unhappy. 4. Therefore, life is pointless and we may as well just die. I'm sure this is not what Seligman intended to say. But at least in that dark moment, it was what I heard. And it is what I still hear, from hedonists on the Internet who literally can't understand why I would rather be honestly sad than delusionally happy, why I would want to live an authentic and virtuous life when I could simply drug myself into bliss. They are, in short, wireheads—or pre-wireheads waiting for the technology to mature. If Seligman truly believes in authentic happiness, he needs to be much more careful to exclude this kind of thinking. He must say, “You should be more optimistic—if you are currently too pessimistic. You should focus on your strengths more—if you currently focus too much on your weaknesses. You should have more self-esteem—if you are currently self-effacing.” Without that proviso, he comes off as saying that it's just fine to be a wireheaded narcissist. And a lot of people apparently really believe that!
It was slow to start, spending pages upon pages talking about the benefits of being happy. Like, duh, just wanting to be happy isn't a good enough reason? I want to be happier because, uh, I'll be happier?
Other than that, good stuff, though. Concrete suggestions backed by psychological study. Summary:
- Your past doesn't determine your future. Increase your gratitude. Forgive. - Assume bad things are temporary and isolated to the particular context in which they occur. Assume good things are permanent and pervade every area of your life. Dispute the bad thoughts as needed. - Enjoy pleasures that don't require a lot of effort--savor them and share them-- but more importantly seek out gratifications, things that require effort and produce a sense of accomplishment. - To make your job meaningful, find a way to use your signature strengths there.
Things to remember
How to forgive (p. 79): REACH -Recall the hurt as objectively as possible. Try to imagine how it went from the other person's perspective and what they might have been thinking or feeling, with the assumption that they are not evil. -Empathize: try to understand from the other person's point of view. Reasons people hurt others: they feel their survival is threatened; they're afraid, worried, or hurt themselves; something about the situation; carelessness. -Altruistically give forgiveness. Remember a time when someone forgave you. Rise above the hurt and vengeance. -Commit yourself to forgive and make a record of it, by writing the person a letter, writing in your diary, telling a friend, etc. -Hold onto forgiveness--every time you think of the hurt, remember that you have forgiven it.
My signature strengths (VIA strengths survey quiz starting p. 140, also available on www.authentichappiness.org): appreciation of beauty, gratitude, optimism, playfulness, and fairness.
Hm, why do I love yarn and feel my mind go numb whenever I walk into work? I wonder...
"There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate, lifelong companionship with one's best friend." (p.187) Well, duh, when you put it that way...
90% accurate predictors of divorce (p. 197): - a harsh startup in a disagreement - criticism of partner, rather than complaints - displays of contempt - hair-trigger defensiveness - lack of validation (particularly stonewalling) - negative body language
happy and improving couples (p. 197): - find out each other's plans for the day before parting in the morning - have a low-stress reunion conversation at the end of each work day - demonstrate lots of affection, laced with tenderness and forgiveness - go out on a date once a week - exchange genuine affection and appreciation at least once a day
p.199 The more inaccurately idealized the people saw their partners, the more stable the relationship. ??? I find this one hard to believe--sounds great until it wears off.
p. 262 good life--using your signature strengths to obtain abundant gratification in the main realms of your life meaningful life--using your signatures strengths and virtues in the service of somehing much larger than yourself full life--experiencing positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from teh pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, adn using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning.
The Field of positive psychology is closing the gap between self-help literature and Psychology. Martin Seligman is the God father of this Science and this book is the most popular books about it. I'm studying Masters of Applied Positive Psychology after my MBA to give me the empirical evidences I need in my work as a self Development author, and it really does. In short: This is a highly recommended book for who are interested in self development based on real scientific researches.
Um. There's some useful stuff in here, hidden behind a bit of over simplified statistics. But I'm putting it down after page 76, because in the last 10 pages there have been two instances of some SERIOUSLY effed up racial politics. Seligman's take on race essentially boils down to "black people are too angry and think about slavery too much." Really?? That is exactly the wrong conclusion to draw from these survey findings on the role and power of positive psychology.
Seligman's take is particularly egregious in 2019. He writes "leaders who incessantly remind their followers of a long history of outrages (real and imagined) their nation has suffered produce a vengeful, violent populace." So far, so Trump. I was nodding along with Seligman here - I often marvel at how much energy it must take for the Fox News crowd to maintain such elevated levels of outrage based on literally nothing, and how much happier they would be if they just chose not to be angry at the fact that Obama played golf (or whatever). But things take a turn when Seligman continues and reveals the true target of his critique: "contemporary American demogogues who play the race card, invoking reminders of slavery at every opportunity, create the same vengeful mindset in their followers." What. This feels like it was probably targeted at Jesse Jackson and, I just can't. It's upsetting to read such misdirected critique at a time when people of color are getting killed and jailed daily. It's so wrong it's not even worth arguing with.
This is enough by itself to dnf, but it's also indicative of a certain over simplification of survey data throughout the book. It's a common issue in this kind of "light" science writing, which can tend to extrapolate broadly and draw sweeping conclusions from limited data points without accounting for all the variables. I can usually learn from these types of books anyway, as long as I read with a more critical eye; but Seligman has taken it a step too far, stepping way beyond his field of expertise and undermining his own credibility to the extent that I no longer see a value in reading the rest of the book.
Thankfully there are now plenty of people who recognize that we can benefit from positive psychology without ignoring or covering over the reality of systemic injustice, but this book does not understand that, and I'm definitely done giving it my time.
Fascinating book from the man who decided that the psychology of mental illness needed to be paired with research into mental wellness. Seligman believes there's more to mental good health than the mere abscence of illness or sadness, and has inspired a group of researchers to work with him on creating a new branch of psychology to figure it out.
He catalogues the different ways of being happy: about the past, the future and the present. He focuses mostly on present happiness, dividing it into two categories: pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures can become dulled over time (even caffiene addicts can take their morning coffee for granted), so he gives tips on how to make sure you appreciate them fully. Gratifications are things that give you a lasting satisfaction in life, and mostly centre around being able to use your strengths and talents to the full. He gives you a way to figure out your strengths, then shows how you can find ways to apply them in your relationships and work, and how to encourage their development in children.
All sections except the last chapter of the book are based on empirical research, which was really interesting to learn about. The last chapter is his speculation on where positive psychology has the potential to take the human race - I found it a bit too fluffy for my liking, but he's entitled to speculate about where his work is heading and for all I know he'll turn out to be right.
I originally read this book for a college course, where we were actually only supposed to read excerpts. It interested me so much that I read the whole book, but always felt the injustice of being unable to dive as deeply into it as I wanted, since it was my senior year of college, and I was busy with other assignments. This time, I took my time getting through it, stopping and pausing often to think about what I had just read.
I love Martin Seligman. For a little history, he was President of the American Psychological Association, and began the movement that shifted the focus of psychology from trying to "heal" the sick to preventing illness from happening. As a recreation therapist, I have to admire and support his work. Professionals have debated for years about the definition of health; does that mean absence of illness, or something more? I would argue that it encompasses more, including an active, fulfilling lifestyle; and Seligman has written this book to help typical people find that kind of a lifestyle, and thus, true "health".
But besides my admiration and support of Seligman, I just found this book to be fascinating. It's amazing what can be learned when all of the obscure, genius studies of psychologists are all pooled together. Or maybe I'm just a psychology nerd.
I'd known about Seligmman's work for quite some time. I first started taking questionnaires at his website back in 2008. The fact that three years later, I still haven't taken them all, should be a pretty good indicator that I've never been converted to a true believer. But I do keep coming back, so there are aspects of his work that I find interesting.
This book and the test center at his website are really tie-ins to each other. It was because my results kept saying "for more information, see the book," that I finally read the book. And while the book includes at least basic versions of all the tests, the book constantly refers you to the website to take the tests there. The website is nice in that it keeps track of all your results for you and records when you took each test.
I should back up. The intention of this book is to be a sort of handbook to the relatively new science of positive psychology. Of course, as you may have gathered from my review so far, it comes across as more of a guidebook to the current tests and surveys of the positive psychology movement. Which is, I suppose, a good place to start from, but I found myself wishing Seligman went a little further with it. Instead, each section introduced the concept behind some test, talked about why it was important, gave the test, discussed why certain answers were indicators of important behaviors/attitudes, and discussed the results. A few tips were given for "improvement" in that category, and then on to the next test!
Okay, so really, that only comprises the first half of the book. In the second half, Seligman deals with the concept of "signature strengths," which I am very interested in and was the tipping point for me to seek out the book in the first place. A group of researchers examined many of the cultures and religions of the world and came up with a list of 24 virtues or strengths that had near-universal appreciation. Their theory is, rather than dwelling on the virtues we are weakest in, true gratification and fulfillment comes from arranging our lives in such a way that we are using our signature strengths as much as possible.
This idea really appeals to me, and the last section of the book had some lovely suggestions on recognizing and supporting the strengths of our spouse and our children. There was some lip service given to using your strengths at work, but the "how" to do this seemed to be left a little vague.
The very last section on meaning and purpose was utterly fascinating as it referenced Asimov's "The Last Question," and fed directly into the future-focused theology I seem to be building into. Seligman and I have some philosophical differences that I found mildly irritating during a few points of the book, but this theory as a conclusion for the book was a very validating moment that greatly upped the chances that I'll pick up another work by Seligman in the future.
Wisdom on realizing your potential from the father of the Positive Psychology movement.
“The good life consists in deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of living. The meaningful life adds one more component: using these same strengths to forward knowledge, power, or goodness. A life that does this is pregnant with meaning, and if God comes at the end, such a life is sacred.”
~ Martin Seligman from Authentic Happiness
As the former President of the American Psychological Association and Founder of the revolutionary “Positive Psychology” movement, Martin Seligman and his colleagues are literally creating a science of happiness. It’s amazing stuff.
I’m a huge fan of his work and actually studied with “Marty” and 300 other professionals (from academic researchers to therapists, coaches, and philosophers) as part of his “Vanguard Authentic Happiness Coaching” class in 2003. We were the first lucky group like that to get his tutelage in the science of happiness and it was a lot of fun to dive a little deeper into his work.
I want to *strongly* recommend you go online and bookmark AuthenticHappiness.com the next chance you get. I think you’ll dig playing around with all the amazing self-assessment tests they offer for free. My recommendation: Start with the “signature strengths” test and have fun getting to know yourself better with scientifically valid tests on everything from gratitude and meaning to optimism and “grit.” Fun.
Some of my favorite big ideas from this book include:
1. Trends in Psychology - It’s positive! 2. Core Virtues - 6 shared virtues. 3. Signature Strengths - What are yours? 4. The Good Life - Give yourself to the world. 5. Calling Description - Live yours.
I’ve also added Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman to my collection of Philosopher’s Notes--distilling the Big Ideas into 6-page PDF and 20-minute MP3s on 600+ of the BEST self-development books ever. You can get access to all of those plus a TON more over at https://heroic.us.
Seligman as father of Positive Psychology is a convincing advocate for augmenting the disease model of traditional psychology and for broadening the base of those who understand the benefits of promoting authentic happiness. While most of what he describes does not sound new, the read is worth while as it backs up all those long held beliefs buried in the self help sections of bookshops with solid emperical evidence. I could not help feeling almost validated and clever in recognising some of my long held held personal beliefs in print, but now backed up by science and research. And isn't that what Positive psychology is all about in the end? ... Being able to believe that one's ideas are worth while and valuable, contributing to a model of mental wellness and being a happy an fulfilled person? Not much of his overview of traditional Psychology's history is fresh or new, but Seligman does review the history in a way reminding us of the key role of evolution in our search for personal happiness. It is not so much new information that makes this a good read, but the validation that what the pop psychologists said all along holds more than just a grain of truth. That, and the way Seligman incorporates our understanding of behavioral psychology into a practical way to help our clients and friends to experience authentic joy BEFORE their mental health becomes threatened or comromised isthe real pay load of the book. Seligman adds value to the lives of ordinary people in layman's language. It is an essential education for Everyman. We should teach it at school.
The cover of this book seems pretty pathetic; I'll be the first to admit I was put off by it. 'Authentic happiness' from one little book. Right... However, it was recommended to me by a professional therapist, so I bought it. I'm just making my way through the preface, and I'm already pleased. Who doesn't love a good dig into Freud? Here's a quote I liked:
"Freud's philosophy, as bizarre as it sounds when laid out so starkly, finds its way into daily psychological and psychiatric practice, wherein patients scour their pasts for the negative impulses and events that have formed their identities. Thus the competitiveness of Bill Gates is really his desire to outdo his father, and Princess Diana's opposition to land mines was merely the outcome of sublimating her murderous hatred for Prince Charles and the other royals."
Good stuff. Anyway, I'm looking forward to see what Seligman has to say, and I'm interested find out more about the Positive Psychology movement vs. traditional psychoanalysis.
It makes a difference when a qualified researcher writes a book compared to the pop-psych and plethora of self help shit out there.
Logical framework that focuses not on positive emotion but on the practicable strengths and virtues that build true gratification (v/s mere pleasures) and in turn a fuller life.
Elementary, but it has little competition on quality barring perhaps the source research papers that people like Seligman write.
I was trying to finish this book since 2008. Finally I've done.
Overall review: -The content is great and practical with exercises to actually make you happier. -The exercises themselves has two downsides, though. Firstly, they're not formatted in the way to make finding them easy. So I struggle each time I try to come back to the book and to find a next one to do. Secondly, they consist mostly of different types of diary writing. Which works, but also is too monotonous for my taste. -It has a lot of test and questionnaires inside. What is even better they have online version on the site. When I re-did them this time I found my first results since 2008/2009 there. And it was super interesting to compare them. -The writing style of Seligman is questionable. It works best in science parts. But I hate his personal stories and find them super boring. They were the main reason I've dropped the book before.
Key insights: - Negative emotions activate in win-lose scenarios, while positive ones work in win-win situations. - My favorite part is the framework of past, present & future. To be happy I need three things: to find peace with and strength in my past, to find ways to savor what is happening right now (present) & to look to the future with hope. - Main levers in the past: to forgive and let go (REACH: Recall the hurt, Empathize, Altruistically forgive, Commit yourself, Hold onto forgiveness) and to be grateful (gratification journal & letters). - The present: meditate to become more mindful, variate daily pleasures to keep things fresh, to choose active leisure that creates flow over content consumption (gratifications over transient pleasures) and to plan a beautiful day to pamper myself. - The future: believe that negative events & failures are temporary & external and successes & positive events are lasting & made by me, fight negative thoughts with ABCDE framework (Adversity, Beliefs, Consequences, Disputation, Energization). - Work life: find a way to exercise my top-5 strenghts every day (my #1 is love of learning :), move from a job to a career and further to a calling. - Love life: ABCDE framework still works, spend quality time with my partner (with daily rituals like plan for a day and what happened at work discussion), compliment partner's strenghts, fight in a productive way (pass around a carpet to engage in active listening and validation), strive for secure attachment style (instead of avoidant or anxious one).
This book provides a detailed and insightful model of all the different contributors to happiness (fulfilment is probably a better word). Best of all, the author offers up a hypothesis as to how to put the knowledge to use! I would highly recommend this book - even if life is pretty good in general, it may provide that little extra *click* that leads to a Eureka moment. And if life sucks, well, consider this book a checklist of things to work on one at a time.
Key Points: 1. There are three different kinds of positive emotion: past-related (gratitude, forgiveness), present-related (pleasure = fleeting, gratification = flow state), and future-related (permanence & pervasiveness of optimistic outlook) 2. Your signature strengths come in 24 flavours grouped into six categories that are ubiquitous through time and culture: wisdom/knowledge, courage, love/humanity, justice, temperance, spirituality/transcendence 3. Fulfilment comes from re-crafting your life domains (e.g. career, health, love, hobbies) to utilize your signature strengths on a daily basis.
I’ve been meaning to read the work of Seligman for some time but just got to it now. This book seems to me a blend of research, history of Positive Psychology, and personal philosophy. It seemed like almost 3 books in one, but all of it was interesting and related in an engaging way.
It includes some wonderful stories and exercises, and it made me think. For sure, I will read more Seligman.
The focus of this book is positive psychology, rather than on the deficit model of the past. Seligman’s advice about how to raise your happiness level is this, in a nutshell: practice gratitude, forgiveness and mindfulness, then determine your signature strengths (with related quiz). When you use your signature strengths for service and something larger than yourself, you have reached the good life. It reminds me of the highest level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, self-actualization. Note: Seligman states that biologically each of us has a set range of happiness. His advice will not change your make-up, of course, but will help you to reach the highest end of your natural range.
Dikke turf waar de positieve psychologie uitermate helder en toegankelijk wordt uitgelegd. Met uitgewerkte testen en voorbeelden raak je helemaal mee én kan je de opgedane kennis en inzichten in je eigen leven gaan implementeren. Zeker het lezen waard!
Sjølv om eg er ueinig med han på nokre punkt synes eg likevel at dette var ei interessant bok å lese og ho kjem med nokre gode poeng. Likevel synes eg det var ein oppstykka leseprosess då boka ofte anbefaler og baserer seg på at du skal gå til ein nettstad for å ta ein test som høyrer til det kapitlet. Det falt ikkje heilt i smak hos meg.
My father gave me Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living to read as an anxious adolescent. Later I read Norman Vincent Peale. This book mentions how Norman Vincent Peale's positive thinking grew out of early Protestantism (Methodism) in the United States and the notion of our having a free will to better ourselves (rather than being passive vessels waiting to be filled with grace). The author asks the question as to whether the development of Positive Psychology, the program at the heart of this book, is just positive thinking "warmed over". He argues that Positive Psychology is "tied to a program of empirical and replicable scientific activity". Of course it is. (His later comment that social science, no matter how sophisticated, never predicts more than 50 per cent of the variance of anything, rather deflates his argument.) He goes on to say that while positivity is linked in many studies with later health, longevity, sociability and success, the balance of the evidence of many studies suggests that in some situations (such as "when an airplane pilot is deciding whether to de-ice the wings of *her* airplane") negative thinking leads to more accuracy and in some situations "we should all be pessimists". Amen to that. This book was published in 2002 and the author briefly mentions the 9/11 terrorist attacks in his End Notes, calling for prevention of future attacks rather than vengeance which he abhors. The attacks, and the 2008 world economic crisis, must have put the skids under his optimistic belief that we're headed towards nirvana since the evolutionary "process that selects for more complexity is ultimately aimed at nothing less than omniscience, omnipotence and goodness." All that being said, it appears the way to "authentic happiness" (as opposed to inauthentic happiness, you understand) is largely what the early positive thinkers have always told us: count your blessings, express gratitude, find a calling, money won't buy happiness, forgive others who wrong you ... etc etc. It also helps to have optimism and hope which will cause "better resistance to depression when bad events strike; better performance at work and better physical health." Yes, but ...
Seligman encourages people to focus on their strengths rather than improve their weaknesses. The author has some good ideas. There are questionnaires on the website "Authentichappiness.com" that can be used to determine your strengths. The author is a capitalistic atheist who basically rejects modern psychology and wants people to work all the time to make more money for the rich. Seligman does say that religious people are happier and live longer. Atheists have a high suicide rate while Jewish people have a low suicide rate. Atheists tend to isolate while Jews have a stronger social network. Orthodox Jews and fundamentalist Christians and Muslims are generally more optimistic than Reform Jews and Unitarians, who are more depressive on average. Materialistic people are less happy. Living in a wealthy democracy, not an impoverished dictatorship has a strong effect on happiness. Avoiding negative events and emotions has a moderate effect on happiness. A rich and fulfilling social life is key to having happiness. Happiness is not a competition but raising the bar for yourself, not rating yourself against others. Having faith and nurturing a sense of optimism is important. Looking out for number one is more characteristic of sadness than well-being. The author believes 50 percent of happiness is genetic. Nevertheless, we can change our circumstances to improve happiness. Marriage is robustly related to happiness. Marriage has more impact on happiness than finances, community or a job. As marriage has declined and divorce increased, the amount of depression has skyrocketed. Marriage buffers people against troubles. The author says that divorced people are generally unhappier than people who are married. Devoting extra time to your marriage is important. The happiest couples look at the bright sides of the relationship, focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses, and believing that bad events that might effect other couples do not affect them. Optimism helps a marriage as well. The top 10 percent of happy people are involved in a romantic relationship. Low income people benefit the most from education. Dwelling on trespass, the past and the expression of anger produces more cardiac disease, bitterness and anger. Forgiveness loosens the power of bad events and gratitude amplifies good memories about the past. Self-absorption increases depression while gratitude dispels it. Sharing with others and writing a letter of forgiveness to an offender can help. The author recommends meditation and focusing on the present. Seligman mentions savoring and flow or being completely engaged in what you like to do at a given moment. Virtues include humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence (spirituality, hope, gratitude, faith, humor and zest). The author talks about focusing on children's strengths to buffer against sibling rivalry. Keep attention and affection abundant. Positive emotions about the past (contentment) can be increased with gratitude and forgiveness. Positive emotions about the future (optimism) can be increased by learning to recognize and dispute pessimistic thoughts. Savoring an mindfulness can help with the present. Money can have a small impact on happiness. Many people in poor countries are happy. Rich people are generally only slightly happier than middle class people. A pleasant life has positive emotions about the past, present and future. A win-win attitude improves happiness as well. Overall, this book has some great ideas but the author is too capitalistic. He taught his own daughter that socialism is bad. Nevertheless, focusing on your strengths can give you a happier life.
This book resonated with me. Below are a few notes that I made while reading it.
"We find that both the depressed people who walk into our clinic and people need help us by unsolvable problems display passivity, become slower to learn, and are sadder and more anxious than people who are not depressed or are our control subjects." (Page 22)
"10 years into our work on learned helplessness I changed my mind about what was going on in our experiments. It all stems from some embarrassing findings that I keep hoping we'll go away. ... 1 out of 3 never give up, no matter what we do. Moreover, one out of eight is helpless to begin with - it does not take any experience with uncontrollability at all to make them give up. At first, I try to sweep this under the rug, but after a decade of consistent variability, the time arrives for taking it seriously." (Page 23)
"I found that teaching 10 year old children the skills of optimistic thinking and action cut their rate of depression in half when they go through puberty." (Page 27)
"What progress there has been in the prevention of mental illness comes from recognizing and nurturing a set of strengths, competencies and virtues in young people - such as future-mindedness, hope, interpersonal skills, courage, the capacity for flow, faith, and work ethic. The exercise of these strengths ten buffers against the tribulations that put people at risk for mental illness." (Page 27)
From Page 37 we learn that depressed people make more accurate assessment than happy people. And in Page 38 we find that happy people people make better decisions under most circumstances. In a later chapter we learn that pessimists make better lawyers.
"These "very happy" people differed markedly from average people and from unhappy people in one principal way: a rich and fulfilling social life. The very happy people spend the least time alone (and the most time socializing), and they were rated highest on good relationships by themselves and by their friends." (Page 42)
Voluntarily controlled factors are covered in chapters 5, 6, & 7
"... roughly 50% of almost every personalty trait turns out to be attributable to genetic inheritance." (Page 47)
Chapter 5 Satisfaction About the Past
"Positive emotions can be about the past, the present, or the future. The positive emotions about the future include optimism, hope, faith and trust. Those about the present include joy, ecstasy, calm, pleasure, and (most importantly) flow; these emotions are what most people usually mean when they casually - but much too narrowly - talk about "happiness". The positive emotions about the past include satisfaction, contentment, fulfillment, pride, and serenity." (Page 62)
In talking about forgiveness:
As the saying goes: (Page 80) If you want to be happy… … For an hour, take a nap. … For a day, go fishing. … For a month, get married. … For a year, get an inheritance. … For a lifetime, help someone.
"Shortly after New Year's Day, Seligman does an evaluation taking about half an hour where he evaluates the following areas. Someone else might have different categories." (This is Chapter 5 - Satisfaction About the Past) (Page 82) - Love - Profession - Finances - Play - Friends - Health - Generativity - Overall - Trajectory: Evaluate year-to-year changes and their course across a decade.
Techniques for increasing optimism about the future (in chapter 6 - optimism about the future) - Adversity: What is the event? - Belief: What negative self talk is going on in my head? - Consequences: What are the consequences I am imagining will happen? - Disputation: Reorient my thinking by evaluating: Evidence, Alternatives, Implications (decatastrophize), Usefulness (is the belief destructive) - Energization:
"To our surprise, almost every single one of these traditions flung across 3000 years and the entire face of the earth endorsed six virtues: - Wisdom and knowledge - Courage - Love and humanity - Justice - Temperance - Spirituality and transcendence" (Page 132-133)
"Finally comes romantic love - the idealization of another, idealizing their strengths and virtues and downplaying their shortcomings. Marriage is unique as the arrangement that gives us all three kinds of love under the same umbrella, and it is this property that makes marriage so successful." (Page 187 188)
"Women who have stable sexual relationships ovulate more regularly, and they continue ovulating into middle age, reaching menopause later than women in unstable relations. ... Among the most surprising outcomes... Are the findings that the children of stable marriages mature more slowly in sexual terms, they have more positive attitudes toward potential mates, and are more interested in long-term relationships than are the children of divorce." (Page 188)
"... I did something I don't recommend to you: I read through all the major marriage manuals. This is a depressing task for a positive psychologist, since they are almost entirely about how to make a bad marriage more tolerable. The manuals are peopled by physically abusive men, grudge-collecting women, and vicious mothers in law, all caught up in a balance of recriminations with an escalating spiral of blame." (Page 195-196)
"The best four in my opinion are Reconcilable Differences by Andrew Christiansen and Neil Jacobson, the Relationship Cure by John Gottman with Joan DeClaire, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman with Nan Silver, and Fighting for Your Marriage by Howard Marckman, Scott Stanley, and Susan Blumberg." (Page 196)
One of Dr Selligman’s best books, disecting happiness and backing all his arguments on his scientific research. Very interesting framework on Character Strenghts and its relationship to what he calls “the good life”, and practical “advise” on reflecting and landing these concepts to life, love, parenting and work...
“Securely attached children grow up to outperform their peers in almost every way that has been tested, including persistence, problem solving, independence, exploration, and enthusiasm. Feeling positive emotion and expressing it well is at the heart of not only the love between a mother and an infant, but of almost all love and friendship.”
This book was filled with tests. I found it valuable to think about my level of happiness and signature strengths. I thought about what virtues I have and which ones I might want to place more focus upon in the future. I wish I had read the chapter on raising children when my kids were little. I understand more about how I can achieve more lasting happiness. And what I like most about the book is its hopeful and optimistic nature. It was very inspiring and I have recommended it many people.
I took this book with ZERO expectation. It'd be another pop psychology book that tells you the money isn't important and live your life valuing social life. But the book came out very pragmatic. I particularly liked his description about gratification (flow). Seligman describes flow as a state where your emotion and consciousness are not interfering because you are in the right position. That's when the sense of time stops. It is the state when you are experiencing psychological growth. Pleasure is consumption on the other hand. I knew it somewhere about the two. But being clearly outlined makes my understanding richer.
I also liked his concept of win-win. That word seems to belong in economics and capitalism. But Saligman describes that's the fundamental concept for social growth. When you are having win-win relationship, you are feeling positive because everyone grows from that relationship. His description is very realistic and truthful even though I hear countless time the pleasure should be derived from giving. That makes him a true psychologist.
Read this as a school assignment but I actually found this book to be incredibly impactful. I am not a self help book person (love my psychological thrillers and mushy love stories🤣), and I don’t think this quite fit the theme of a self help book either. There were great lessons to be learned and I keep thinking of some of the core concepts and I plan to implement them into my life. Definitely a book I will be keeping to re read as I enter different stages of my life.
This is a great introduction to positive psychology by one of its betterknown proponents. This book is aimed at a wider audience and is very readable. As such, for those of you with a degree in psychology, there is nothing new - merely a pleasant refresher of some of the classics and most insightful lines of research that fall under the umbrella of positive psychology.
Si estas son las bases de la psicología positiva, se me han quitado las ganas de seguir leyendo sobre el tema. Para haber sido tan pesimista (como dice) el señor Seligman, muchas veces parece que te va a hacer una terapia de mindfulness mientras te recita frases budistas.
Aparte de que me haya decepcionado porque Seligman solo teoriza en este libro, la cantidad de cosas que dice sobre el conductismo un pavo que ha sido presidente de la asociación americana de psicología me hace pensar lo seria que es esta disciplina, con cosas como "querían situar su campo de estudio bajo el manto de su conductismo, desapasionado, y por tanto llamaron "apego" a este fenómeno" (hablando de la teoría del apego)
Además, no sabía que hay un área grande que denosta esta disciplina, pero bueno, a ratos es interesante pero por lo general bastante meh.