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477 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 27, 2017
“You’re too loud,” he retorted.
“I kill, I kill them all. But then you came out and said grr.”
“I did not say grr, you asshole.”
“Grr,” he repeated, like he was mocking me. “All loud and stupid with your stupid heart.”
“Thump, thump, thump.”
He nodded. “Should have killed you.”
"Gavin was weirdly shy when he shoved a package in my lap.
He glowered at me when I thanked him. “Open it first,” he muttered. “Stupid Carter.”
“Thump, thump, thump.”
“Stupid Carter.”
“Stupid Gavin.” He laughed."
“Protect your brothers with everything you have.”
We love because we can. We live because we’ve fought too hard to ever stop. And here we are, you and me. Together.
The rusty, broken sound crawled up from his throat, and he was huffing out his nose, but he was smiling, and I understood then what Joe had seen in Ox, why Gordo and Mark were always going to find their way back to each other, why Kelly never stopped searching for Robbie.
“No offense—you know what? Fuck that. All the offense. You’re an idiot, Carter. Like, the biggest idiot I’ve ever known in my life, and I’ve known a lot of them.”
“That’s the point, I think. We love because we can. We live because we’ve fought too hard to ever stop. And here we are, you and me. Together.
“Remember something for me, okay? When the moon is full and bright and you’re singing for all the world to hear, I’ll be looking up at the same moon, and I’ll be singing right back to you. For you. Always you.”
It was warm like a summer day. It was candy canes and pinecones, it was epic and awesome, it was dirt and leaves and rain, it was grass and lake water and sunshine.
I could feel their eyes on me, but I only saw Gavin. He scowled. “Thump, thump, thump. Tricky heart. Makes me forget everything else.”
“I would say you became part of me. A constant. And I didn’t know what I had until it was gone. I’m sorry that I didn’t see you for what you were. I’m sorry that I took you for granted. I’m sorry that I let you go. And I know you don’t want me here, and I know you said you didn’t want me, didn’t want our pack, but maybe… maybe you could see me. Because I see you now. I see you, and I don’t know if I ever want to see anyone else.”
“Stay here. I can stay here. You go. Run.”
“Really.”
“Yes.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want. I mean, I could probably die or something, but you do you.”
He jerked his head up as he growled. “Die?”
I nodded solemnly. “Might trip over a tree root and break my neck. Or Ox could jump on me and crush my liver. Who the fuck knows?”
“Stupid Carter,” Gavin said.
“Stupid Carter,” I agreed.
“Know what you’re doing.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. So I’m just gonna go, I guess. Don’t know if I’ll ever come back, seeing as how I might be dead and all. If only there was someone out there who could have my back and—”
He put his hand over my mouth. “Stop talking. You make it worse.” His nostrils flared. “Fine. I’ll go. Stupid Carter always almost dies.”
“Joe fluttered his eyelashes. 'Ooh, Gavin. You made my cold, dead heterosexual heart burst with super gay life and now I can't--oof!'
I tackled him. Hard.”
“Protect your brothers with everything you have.”
“We must remember to say what’s in our hearts aloud because we can never know if it’ll be the last time we’ll ever get the chance.”
Mystical. Moon. Magic.