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158 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1948
There are times I feel that nothing has meaning. On a tiny planet that has been racing toward oblivion for millions of years, we are born amid sorrow; we grow, we struggle, we grow ill, we suffer, we make others suffer, we cry out, we die, others die, and new beings are born to begin the senseless comedy all over again.
Some I knew by name, like Dr. Goldenberg, who had recently made quite a name for himself: in the course of treating a female patient, they had both ended up in a mental institution. He had just been released. I observed him closely, but he seemed no worse than the others. In fact he may even have been more placid, perhaps the result of his recent seclusion. The way he praised my paintings, I knew that he despised them.
Everything was so elegant that I was embarrassed to be seen in my ancient suit with the baggy-kneed trousers. The source of my uneasiness was not the trousers, however, but something I could not define. It had reached a climax when a beautiful young lady offered me an hors d’oeuvre as she continued her discussion with a colleague over some unimaginable problem of anal masochism.
...it was if the two of us had been living in parallel passageways or tunnels, never knowing that we were moving side by side, like souls in like times, finally to meet before a scene I had painted as a kind of key meant for her alone, as a kind of secret sign that I was there ahead of her and that the passageways finally had joined and the hour of our meeting had come...What a stupid illusion that had been!...that the whole story of the passageways was my own ridiculous invention and that after all there was only one tunnel, dark and solitary: mine, the tunnel in which I had spent my childhood, my youth, my entire life.
„Dispreţuiesc oamenii, îi văd murdari, urîţi, incapabili, lacomi, vulgari, meschini; singurătatea mea nu mă înspăimîntă, e aproape olimpică. Şi gust o anume satisfacţie dovedindu-mi mie însumi josnicia mea... Întotdeauna am privit cu antipatie şi chiar cu scîrbă lumea”.
„Am reuşit să-mi pun creierul în stare de funcţionare. Am căutat să gîndesc cu precizie absolută, pentru că bănuiam că am ajuns într-un moment decisiv... Creierul meu funcţiona acum cu luciditatea din cele mai bune zile... Trebuia să mă las condus numai de logică şi să duc, fără teamă, pînă la extrem analiza fiecărei fraze îndoielnice, a fiecărui gest, a tuturor tăcerilor Mariei... Multe din concluziile extrase în acel lucid şi fantasmagoric examen erau ipotetice, nu le puteam demonstra, deşi aveam certitudinea că nu greşesc”. Frazele sînt, desigur, o ilustrare perfectă a unei gîndiri paranoice.
La felicidad está rodeada de dolor.Primer libro que leo de Sabato. Muy bueno. Es una lectura breve pero intensa. La soledad y el asco existencial sartriano es palpable en cada página, y estuvo muy bien tratado, al igual que la locura del amor llevada a su grado delictivo. Lo recomiendo sin un ápice de duda.
“I constructed an endless series of variations. In one I was talkative, witty (something in fact I never am); in another I was taciturn; in still another, sunny and smiling. At times, though it seems incredible, I answered rudely, even with ill-concealed rage. It happened (in some of these imaginary meetings) that our exchange broke off abruptly because of an absurd irritability on my part, or because I rebuked her, almost crudely, for some comment I found pointless or ill-thought-out.”But this is a symptom of madness not a symbol of impending quantum resolution. Even the speaker recognises that “this damned compulsion to justify everything I do,” isn’t normal
«A veces creo que nada tiene sentido. En un planeta minúsculo, que corre hacia la nada desde millones de años, nacemos en medio de dolores, crecemos, luchamos, nos enfermamos, sufrimos, hacemos sufrir, gritamos, morimos, mueren y otros están naciendo para volver a empezar la comedia inútil.»