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My Way of Life
From Grand Hotel to Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, Joan Crawford played some of the finest parts Hollywood had to offer, establishing a reputation as the most spectacular diva on the silver screen. Even when the cameras quit rolling, her life never stopped being over-the-top. In My Way of Life, a cult classic since it was first published in the early 1970s, Crawford shares her secrets.
Part memoir, part self-help book, part guide to being fabulous, My Way of Life advises the reader on everything from throwing a small dinner party for eighteen to getting the most out of a marriage. Featuring tips on fashion, makeup, etiquette, and everything in between, it is an irresistible look at a bygone era, when movie stars were pure class, and Crawford was at the top of the heap.
Part memoir, part self-help book, part guide to being fabulous, My Way of Life advises the reader on everything from throwing a small dinner party for eighteen to getting the most out of a marriage. Featuring tips on fashion, makeup, etiquette, and everything in between, it is an irresistible look at a bygone era, when movie stars were pure class, and Crawford was at the top of the heap.
212 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1971
About the author
Joan Crawford
17 books67 followersJoan Crawford (born Lucille Fay LeSueur) was an Academy Award-winning American actress. Crawford is named as the tenth Greatest Female Star of All Time by the American Film Institute.
Starting as a dancer on Broadway, Crawford was signed to a motion picture contract by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios in 1925 and played small parts. By the end of the '20s she became a famous flapper. Beginning in the 1930s, Crawford's fame rivaled fellow MGM colleagues Norma Shearer and Greta Garbo. She often played hardworking young women who find romance and financial success. These "rags to riches" stories were well-received by Depression-era audiences and were popular with women. By the end of the decade, Crawford remained one of Hollywood's most prominent movie stars, and one of the highest paid women in the U.S.
For her performance in Mildred Pierce, Crawford won an Academy Award and in the following years, achieved some of her best reviews. In 1955, she became involved with PepsiCo, the company run by her last husband, Alfred Steele. After his death in 1959, Crawford was elected to fill his vacancy on the board of directors but was forcibly retired in 1973. She continued acting regularly into the 1960s, when her performances became fewer, and after the release of the horror film Trog in 1970, retired from the screen.
Starting as a dancer on Broadway, Crawford was signed to a motion picture contract by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios in 1925 and played small parts. By the end of the '20s she became a famous flapper. Beginning in the 1930s, Crawford's fame rivaled fellow MGM colleagues Norma Shearer and Greta Garbo. She often played hardworking young women who find romance and financial success. These "rags to riches" stories were well-received by Depression-era audiences and were popular with women. By the end of the decade, Crawford remained one of Hollywood's most prominent movie stars, and one of the highest paid women in the U.S.
For her performance in Mildred Pierce, Crawford won an Academy Award and in the following years, achieved some of her best reviews. In 1955, she became involved with PepsiCo, the company run by her last husband, Alfred Steele. After his death in 1959, Crawford was elected to fill his vacancy on the board of directors but was forcibly retired in 1973. She continued acting regularly into the 1960s, when her performances became fewer, and after the release of the horror film Trog in 1970, retired from the screen.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 139 reviews
October 16, 2009
I gave this book 5 stars because 5 stars = "it was amazing". This book is so insane, it's amazing. I could write a whole new book on why this book was so awesomely crazy. Joan has iron-clad rules for EV-RY-THING - so many, many tips on how to be fabulous.
Here's what I learned from Joan:
1. If there is anything on your body that needs to be moisturized, do it with mayonnaise.
2. Mommie Dearest is probably not too off the mark.
Here are my two favorite quotes:
(Regarding starting a "beauty club" to lose weight with friends.)
"Do the weighing in and measuring every week on the same day. A woman will give up anything - from a fudge sundae to a dry martini or a grilled-cheese sandwich - to beat her fellow club members to a slim finish. She may lose a friend or two, but she'll gain loveliness, and her husband's pride and admiration. THAT'S worth a couple of fat friends!"
"My dresses always go into their individual plastic bags, pinned to canvas-covered wooden hangers, in a special way so that they'll hang right. (Some hangers do terrible things to the shoulder line.) Matching gloves are pinned to the hanger with each dress."
NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!
Here's what I learned from Joan:
1. If there is anything on your body that needs to be moisturized, do it with mayonnaise.
2. Mommie Dearest is probably not too off the mark.
Here are my two favorite quotes:
(Regarding starting a "beauty club" to lose weight with friends.)
"Do the weighing in and measuring every week on the same day. A woman will give up anything - from a fudge sundae to a dry martini or a grilled-cheese sandwich - to beat her fellow club members to a slim finish. She may lose a friend or two, but she'll gain loveliness, and her husband's pride and admiration. THAT'S worth a couple of fat friends!"
"My dresses always go into their individual plastic bags, pinned to canvas-covered wooden hangers, in a special way so that they'll hang right. (Some hangers do terrible things to the shoulder line.) Matching gloves are pinned to the hanger with each dress."
NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!
December 13, 2009
Things Joan likes: cleanliness, rules, hostess pajamas, being a slim, fragrant, interesting, charming woman who is admired in the boardroom and the bedroom.
Things Joan does not like: your sorry excuses for why you can't be a slim, fragrant, interesting, charming woman who is admired in the boardroom and the bedroom. Also, hippies.
Things Joan does not like: your sorry excuses for why you can't be a slim, fragrant, interesting, charming woman who is admired in the boardroom and the bedroom. Also, hippies.
December 4, 2019
This book was wild literally out of mid century America , where women stayed home and took care of all her family’s needs. The only reason I gave it 5 stars is because it was actually narrated by Joan Crawford herself and because it really took you back to the 1920s to the 1960s. I recommend anyone to listen to this on audio otherwise it’s really not special audio is the way to go it’s just left me in awe.
April 3, 2010
Oh Joan.
The pure craziness in this book is ratcheted all the way to the highest level, but that's to be expected, especially considering who wrote it and that time in her life. Just by itself, it's a revealing, often hilarious, sometimes disturbing glimpse into the mind of Joan Crawford. It's a self-help/advice book, but it's more honest I think of a picture of self than most autobiographies.
Taken into context of Joan's life, especially events in the 70s, book has a touch of pathos, especially since she clings to the idea of still being a viable working actress throughout (book was written in 71--she never acted again; forced out by Pepsi in 74; the notorious photo of her and Rosalind Russell followed and from then on Joan, like so many other Hollywood stars--Dietrich being the ultimate example of this sad anchorite-like dedication to image--was not seen again until her painful death in 76).
During this time, Joan would begin work at 5am and continue with her correspondence till 11pm. She took breaks to clean her apartment and shower four times a day (the book notes that she gives herself 20 minutes though in the day to relax). Besides everything else she did--movies, Pepsi, charity, Joan wrote--an average of 70,000 letters a year--about 3 million letters in her lifetime (yet, they're always out of my price range on ebay. Sigh)--and this book, a monument to her OCD Insanity. Even working grueling 18 hour days into her sixties, I still don't see how she was able to do everything.
She reinforces the concept of multi-tasking though--when she's working on writing her fans (and side note, many of her letters to fans were not short--but ridiculously long involved answers to all their questions); she would be moisturizing her face and rolling a Pepsi bottle back and forth with her foot to strengthen her calves, thereby accomplishing three things at once.
Also, help is an important facet to this kind of life. (Makes me think of that quote--"Joan Crawford was not born. She was built.") She stresses that you need to get help for almost everything. Throwing a dinner party? Well you can't do that alone--you need to hire some college kids to serve drinks and empty ashtrays and plump pillows. Joan's three helpers get multiple mentions throughout the book--Betty Barker, her CA secretary, Florence Walsh, her NY right hand man, and Mamacita, her elderly German maid. She also had two guys come in twice a week to help with the "heavy cleaning."
Since, from what I gather about this book, EXTREME CLEANLINESS is the most important thing of all (she capitalizes and italicizes words to stress this often), Mamacita gets many shout-outs. Which is a little touching, because very few old movie stars devoted much page time to their underlings (Roz Russell and Bette Davis perhaps being the others). She even recounts how they first met--Joan was desperate for a maid and was told of someone who might be available, with the exception that this maid wouldn't use a mop.
"Handsies, kneesies?" I asked.
"Yep," she replied.
"Bring her over tomorrow morning! That's just my cup of tea. I never did think you could get into corners with any mop."
The photos in this book were of also immense fascination to me. I have twenty or so Joan Crawford books, some of which are just books on photographs of her, and almost all I had never seen before. Probably because they're deranged and serve no purpose. Joan's clothes laid out on the bed to be hung up; Mamacita stuffing tissue paper into sleeves of her shirts (because if you don't put tissue paper into the sleeves when you hang them up, you might get wrinkles--and yes, the proper use of hangers is brought up almost every chapter); page after page of Joan with a "Aren't I just awesome?" smile on her face.
My favorite photo though is one of Mamacita, kneeling like she's about to propose, holding aloft for Joan's inspection what appears to be a shoe.
While I will probably not follow a single tip in this book (I'm one of the lazy people that Joan rails throughout), I still love her for the nutjob that she was. What this book doesn't capture maybe is her sense of humor and caring for others. My favorite Joan book is "Conversations with Crawford." The author was one of the young guys who Joan randomly found and forced to help her do errands or clean during the late sixties/early seventies. In his book, while she is a working demon, she was also a sweet, eccentric and funny lady. If you liked this one, I strongly advise reading Conversations to get the other perspective.
The pure craziness in this book is ratcheted all the way to the highest level, but that's to be expected, especially considering who wrote it and that time in her life. Just by itself, it's a revealing, often hilarious, sometimes disturbing glimpse into the mind of Joan Crawford. It's a self-help/advice book, but it's more honest I think of a picture of self than most autobiographies.
Taken into context of Joan's life, especially events in the 70s, book has a touch of pathos, especially since she clings to the idea of still being a viable working actress throughout (book was written in 71--she never acted again; forced out by Pepsi in 74; the notorious photo of her and Rosalind Russell followed and from then on Joan, like so many other Hollywood stars--Dietrich being the ultimate example of this sad anchorite-like dedication to image--was not seen again until her painful death in 76).
During this time, Joan would begin work at 5am and continue with her correspondence till 11pm. She took breaks to clean her apartment and shower four times a day (the book notes that she gives herself 20 minutes though in the day to relax). Besides everything else she did--movies, Pepsi, charity, Joan wrote--an average of 70,000 letters a year--about 3 million letters in her lifetime (yet, they're always out of my price range on ebay. Sigh)--and this book, a monument to her OCD Insanity. Even working grueling 18 hour days into her sixties, I still don't see how she was able to do everything.
She reinforces the concept of multi-tasking though--when she's working on writing her fans (and side note, many of her letters to fans were not short--but ridiculously long involved answers to all their questions); she would be moisturizing her face and rolling a Pepsi bottle back and forth with her foot to strengthen her calves, thereby accomplishing three things at once.
Also, help is an important facet to this kind of life. (Makes me think of that quote--"Joan Crawford was not born. She was built.") She stresses that you need to get help for almost everything. Throwing a dinner party? Well you can't do that alone--you need to hire some college kids to serve drinks and empty ashtrays and plump pillows. Joan's three helpers get multiple mentions throughout the book--Betty Barker, her CA secretary, Florence Walsh, her NY right hand man, and Mamacita, her elderly German maid. She also had two guys come in twice a week to help with the "heavy cleaning."
Since, from what I gather about this book, EXTREME CLEANLINESS is the most important thing of all (she capitalizes and italicizes words to stress this often), Mamacita gets many shout-outs. Which is a little touching, because very few old movie stars devoted much page time to their underlings (Roz Russell and Bette Davis perhaps being the others). She even recounts how they first met--Joan was desperate for a maid and was told of someone who might be available, with the exception that this maid wouldn't use a mop.
"Handsies, kneesies?" I asked.
"Yep," she replied.
"Bring her over tomorrow morning! That's just my cup of tea. I never did think you could get into corners with any mop."
The photos in this book were of also immense fascination to me. I have twenty or so Joan Crawford books, some of which are just books on photographs of her, and almost all I had never seen before. Probably because they're deranged and serve no purpose. Joan's clothes laid out on the bed to be hung up; Mamacita stuffing tissue paper into sleeves of her shirts (because if you don't put tissue paper into the sleeves when you hang them up, you might get wrinkles--and yes, the proper use of hangers is brought up almost every chapter); page after page of Joan with a "Aren't I just awesome?" smile on her face.
My favorite photo though is one of Mamacita, kneeling like she's about to propose, holding aloft for Joan's inspection what appears to be a shoe.
While I will probably not follow a single tip in this book (I'm one of the lazy people that Joan rails throughout), I still love her for the nutjob that she was. What this book doesn't capture maybe is her sense of humor and caring for others. My favorite Joan book is "Conversations with Crawford." The author was one of the young guys who Joan randomly found and forced to help her do errands or clean during the late sixties/early seventies. In his book, while she is a working demon, she was also a sweet, eccentric and funny lady. If you liked this one, I strongly advise reading Conversations to get the other perspective.
April 7, 2021
This thing deserves nothing less than 5 🏳️🌈 emojis. Part memoir, part self-help book, all camp. Joan offers plenty of silly, highly quotable insights into such subjects as fashion (dress for your man), childrearing (should be of no concern to men), beauty routines (always hide from men's eyes), careers (your only job is to make your man happy), and the benefits of hard chairs (soft one just spread your thighs). Silent on the subject of wire coat hangers but her strong opinions we already know. Just roll your eyes, laugh, drink Pepsi (which Pepsi spokesperson Joan will remind you to do every few pages), and scrub your floor (it's a great way to stay in shape for your man!).
June 5, 2017
This is a must for any Joan Crawford fan. This audio book is read BY JOAN in her NY apartment! You can hear the traffic from the street in the background as she's reading. I think I even heard Mamacita once or twice. It's so personal and endearing. She chuckles at her own jokes and you can hear her smiling as she tells her stories. I love this book, and hearing her read it herself was such a treat. I'm fully aware that Joan Crawford lived in an alternate universe of her own making, but it's magical to get a glimpse of her world, even if it was totally over the top. I've really been enjoying this resurgence of Joan appreciation thanks to the fantastic FX show, FEUD. She deserves a lot more credit than she gets. I think she was a fabulous actress and a fascinating and misunderstood person. And thanks to FEUD, my interest in Bette has been piqued as well. This book gets 5 stars, all of them completely sincere. There is just something about Joan Crawford that I've always loved. From flapper to Grand Hotel, Mildred Pierce to Pepsi-cola and beyond, I've loved Joan through all her incarnations. For the love of Joan, 5 stars!
September 6, 2013
This book kept me giggling and intrigued for the 4 short hours it took to read it. If anything, it will make you laugh! I am a huge Joan Crawford fan firstly. I think she is THE epitome of the Golden Age of Hollywood Movie Star. They don't make em like her anymore. Such a gifted actress and her life was so glamorous...this book reveals that! She reveals her favorite dishes to make and beauty secrets. Joan seems to forget the ordinary housewife is not extremely wealthy like she is and the fact that she is so out of touch with reality is what makes the book funny. Example: At a dinner party she recommends having: an artist with a long beard, a nuclear scientist, a government official, some starlets, and a hairstylist. She also suggests forgoing your hair appointments to save for butlers and servers at your dinner party. LOL. I love Joan. Any Joan Crawford fan will get a kick out this book. I am going to try her meatloaf recipe actually! I have to admit her peanut butter and bacon snacks on rye bread actually sounds kind of good too!
P.S. This book is actually considered a collector's item and runs at a minimum $50 on Amazon. There are only a few in print.
P.S. This book is actually considered a collector's item and runs at a minimum $50 on Amazon. There are only a few in print.
August 25, 2008
HILARIOUS! Joan Crawford, who by the time she wrote this book was in her late 50's, chronicles the way everyone should live - the same as she does. Along the way, she encourages dinner parties, and suggests a guest list that includes a starlet, an astronaut and a bearded poet. Seriously.
Her "let them eat cake" tone is punctuated by her attempt to come of as one of the people, but she cannot stay there too long. When suggesting that one can throw a dinner party for little money, by the time she includes the must have list (one chef, three servers, a bartender, and three-piece jazz combo) she's gone right back to spending big money.
The best thing about this book is that you can actually tell how drunk she is getting from one page to the next. It's so funny. Not as good as Diana Vreeland's "D.V." but very close.
Her "let them eat cake" tone is punctuated by her attempt to come of as one of the people, but she cannot stay there too long. When suggesting that one can throw a dinner party for little money, by the time she includes the must have list (one chef, three servers, a bartender, and three-piece jazz combo) she's gone right back to spending big money.
The best thing about this book is that you can actually tell how drunk she is getting from one page to the next. It's so funny. Not as good as Diana Vreeland's "D.V." but very close.
October 16, 2015
I have mixed feelings about reviewing this book. There’s really not much to it. Ms. Crawford gives advice that may have been slightly more helpful or insightful at the time, but we’ve either adopted her way of living or have completely grown away from it. Yes, a high protein, low carb diet is great for the figure, but no, women do not stay in bed for a few months to try to diminish muscle tone, particularly muscular calves. She says that it is great to join a group for exercise to help stay motivated (true), and that being in such a group may causes a certain competition that will yield great results (sure, but you’re about to lose me, Joan), and that being skinny is worth losing a few fat friends (oh, Joan!).
There are a few autobiographical touches, but not many. She talks about her love of design and Billy Haines, a star that was not going to go back in the closet with the Production Code and became an interior decorator instead. She talks about what she learned from the great clothing designer Adrian, and how for dramatic scenes he would design a very simple dress, so no one was taking their eyes off the actress’s face, and that in lighter scenes like a horse race, the dress could be more frilly.
She writes a lot about Alfred Steele, her fourth husband and CEO of Pepsi, usually to demonstrate the work that she learned to do on behalf of Pepsi, or to illustrate how to be a wife of a successful man – allow him to bring work home but still carve out time for the home life, learn about his industry, and try to make life as seamless as possible. She has an ingenious solution for keeping odd schedules: husband and wife are to have their own enormous closets that contain a small office, daybed, and stocked with food and drink. (There is a lot of talk about closets, hangers, wardrobe issues – another great tip is to have one closet for warm weather, another for cold weather, and have the one not being used kept in a storage closet on the floor above the active closet, and then have one momentous day when the two closets are switched out.) For a wife whose husband is not an important businessman or politician, it is still advised to educate herself about his business. If he is a cashier, learn about bookkeeping, and to show interest in his day, ask him when he comes home, “Were there any holdups today?”
When she talks about raising her children and how she hopes that she did well enough by them that they don’t end up on a psychiatrist’s couch, I thought, “Oh honey, thank God you never knew what would really happen.” This book is more of a window into Crawford’s mind at that time, especially her focus on cleanliness (instantly hired her housekeeper Mamacita upon learning that she did not believe in mopping floors, preferring to wash on her hands and knees) and the time she spends at her writing desk. I was able to obtain, through the ‘gray market’, the unabridged audiobook that Crawford recorded of this book, and it was lovely to hear her perfect diction. The fact that she bothered to do a recording in 1970, when audiobooks were only for the blind, proves what a tireless worker and magnanimous star she was.
There are a few autobiographical touches, but not many. She talks about her love of design and Billy Haines, a star that was not going to go back in the closet with the Production Code and became an interior decorator instead. She talks about what she learned from the great clothing designer Adrian, and how for dramatic scenes he would design a very simple dress, so no one was taking their eyes off the actress’s face, and that in lighter scenes like a horse race, the dress could be more frilly.
She writes a lot about Alfred Steele, her fourth husband and CEO of Pepsi, usually to demonstrate the work that she learned to do on behalf of Pepsi, or to illustrate how to be a wife of a successful man – allow him to bring work home but still carve out time for the home life, learn about his industry, and try to make life as seamless as possible. She has an ingenious solution for keeping odd schedules: husband and wife are to have their own enormous closets that contain a small office, daybed, and stocked with food and drink. (There is a lot of talk about closets, hangers, wardrobe issues – another great tip is to have one closet for warm weather, another for cold weather, and have the one not being used kept in a storage closet on the floor above the active closet, and then have one momentous day when the two closets are switched out.) For a wife whose husband is not an important businessman or politician, it is still advised to educate herself about his business. If he is a cashier, learn about bookkeeping, and to show interest in his day, ask him when he comes home, “Were there any holdups today?”
When she talks about raising her children and how she hopes that she did well enough by them that they don’t end up on a psychiatrist’s couch, I thought, “Oh honey, thank God you never knew what would really happen.” This book is more of a window into Crawford’s mind at that time, especially her focus on cleanliness (instantly hired her housekeeper Mamacita upon learning that she did not believe in mopping floors, preferring to wash on her hands and knees) and the time she spends at her writing desk. I was able to obtain, through the ‘gray market’, the unabridged audiobook that Crawford recorded of this book, and it was lovely to hear her perfect diction. The fact that she bothered to do a recording in 1970, when audiobooks were only for the blind, proves what a tireless worker and magnanimous star she was.
December 21, 2017
After watching 'Mommie Dearest' a few too many times, I became fascinated by Joan Crawford. I mean, that opening scene alone!
But what a treat! I finally got my hands on a copy...and this book did not disappoint. It did confirm that Joan was indeed very off beat! Her domestic, grooming, and exercise habits, in her view, are all supposed to be done BEFORE your husband gets home! He's never supposed to see you exercising, your hair in rollers, or wearing a masque (to name a few). You are supposed to be a creature of mysterious perfection at all times! By the time you get to Part II, there's a good chance you'll be on the floor laughing.
Even though this is a light read, it reveals what a hard worker she was. A true perfectionist! So much self-discipline. Plus, she was a proponent of self-care before the mental health field got a hold of that concept and ran with it. It just so happens that the things that gave her the greatest joy were tending to her OCD cleaning and grooming habits and being beautiful at all times. I gather she never went a day without makeup, even if she was just at home answering fan mail. She really did have the ideal career for all of her quirks!
A great opening passage (the book gets crazier as it progresses):
"I have the same sense of excitement about the next adventure that I had when I was sixteen. And I’m sure I’ll never lose it. All my nostalgia is for tomorrow—not for any yesterdays.
People are always asking me if there’s anything I regret or would change. The answer is no! Not a thing. If I hadn’t had the pain I wouldn’t be me. And I like being me. Everyone should. I have a friend who says, “Treasure yourself.” I follow that advice by doing a certain amount of self-pampering. I surround myself with happy colors—yellow, coral, hot pink, and Mediterranean blues and greens. I’ve persuaded myself that I hate things that are bad for me—fattening food, late nights, and loud and aggressive people head the list. I’m friends with myself so I do things that are good for me, otherwise I couldn’t be good for others. I spend my time with people I’m fond of, and that includes my working time, too. Whether I’m at a board meeting or on a movie set, I’m with good friends, so there’s no drudgery about any of my jobs.
Not that I don’t work hard. The demands I make on myself are fantastic. I expect perfection. I get it, at rare moments—but they’re too rare."
-Joan Crawford, My Way of Life
But what a treat! I finally got my hands on a copy...and this book did not disappoint. It did confirm that Joan was indeed very off beat! Her domestic, grooming, and exercise habits, in her view, are all supposed to be done BEFORE your husband gets home! He's never supposed to see you exercising, your hair in rollers, or wearing a masque (to name a few). You are supposed to be a creature of mysterious perfection at all times! By the time you get to Part II, there's a good chance you'll be on the floor laughing.
Even though this is a light read, it reveals what a hard worker she was. A true perfectionist! So much self-discipline. Plus, she was a proponent of self-care before the mental health field got a hold of that concept and ran with it. It just so happens that the things that gave her the greatest joy were tending to her OCD cleaning and grooming habits and being beautiful at all times. I gather she never went a day without makeup, even if she was just at home answering fan mail. She really did have the ideal career for all of her quirks!
A great opening passage (the book gets crazier as it progresses):
"I have the same sense of excitement about the next adventure that I had when I was sixteen. And I’m sure I’ll never lose it. All my nostalgia is for tomorrow—not for any yesterdays.
People are always asking me if there’s anything I regret or would change. The answer is no! Not a thing. If I hadn’t had the pain I wouldn’t be me. And I like being me. Everyone should. I have a friend who says, “Treasure yourself.” I follow that advice by doing a certain amount of self-pampering. I surround myself with happy colors—yellow, coral, hot pink, and Mediterranean blues and greens. I’ve persuaded myself that I hate things that are bad for me—fattening food, late nights, and loud and aggressive people head the list. I’m friends with myself so I do things that are good for me, otherwise I couldn’t be good for others. I spend my time with people I’m fond of, and that includes my working time, too. Whether I’m at a board meeting or on a movie set, I’m with good friends, so there’s no drudgery about any of my jobs.
Not that I don’t work hard. The demands I make on myself are fantastic. I expect perfection. I get it, at rare moments—but they’re too rare."
-Joan Crawford, My Way of Life
August 9, 2021
This is a how-to-live-your-life book written by that paragon of family life and normalcy, Joan Crawford. Joan has, at this point, been a Star for decades, and it shows. What planet does this woman live on? Well, one where all dresses have matching gloves specially made. And where one dresses to the nines to pose with indigenous peoples of other lands. Or should I say, bestow one's presence on the said peoples. The book picks up after she marries Pepsi magnate Alfred Steele, a time when her career had long been in decline. She became a spokesperson for Pepsi after Steele's unexpected death. The disconnect between this book and events as told in "Mommy Dearest" are significant. Joan's memories of her children are shown through the thickest of rose-colored glasses. But then she writes this: "I think I was a good mother...Of course every woman tries to be a good mother, and then wonders if, after all her best efforts, her children will wind up on a headshrinker's couch complaining about bad treatment". Joan goes on and on about how to please a man. Romance was clearly her life's obsession, after cleaning and caretaking of material objects. Her children are remarkably absent from this book purporting to guide one's family life. Her painstaking details of caring for clothing are maniacal to say the least; comparatively she has precious little to say about her children's lives. Let's put it this way. She mentions that the "twins" have by this time each had kids of their own. Yet doesn't name them. What kind of a grandmother doesn't steal every opportunity to mention her own grandchildren? This one, that's who. The photos are delightful. She works at plastering a perfect welcoming smile on her face every time. But check out the candid photo on page 83. Her smile is taut and decidedly pissy. If you disagree, look at her hands tensely clutching a ciggy. The occasion? Her husband's birthday party. The cover photo is fun, too. A modern-day smiling Joan clutches her rather unhappy-looking poodles. In the background hangs a Margaret Keane oil painting of a younger Joan, an optimistically feminine portrayal, I must say.
June 9, 2017
How could I have neglected this gem? A must-read for all who are enthralled by sour-milk moués and caterpillar brows.
Read
March 4, 2016I listened to the whole thing on Youtube because I am a masochist!
August 23, 2019
I feel like this only exists for her to name-drop about everyone she knows, and to promote Pepsi.
October 13, 2019
I wanted this to be the pulp-y fun it promised but it was only a little depressing - worth a column in a 1971 grocery check-out aisle magazine - not an entire book and not now. No "dirt" except what she can clean with soap and "electric" brushes; no insights: just bland superficialities. What brought me here??? I love the beginning scene from Mommie Dearest that has Faye Dunaway as JC doing her OCD skin and clothing routine at 5:00am before getting to the Burbank studio set! Super fab (I don't bother with the rest of the movie - stop at the SHOWER SCENE with her beau, trust me). I think I will just re-read Diana ("Dee-ahna") Vreeland's book for that over-the-top thing I'm seeking.
August 25, 2017
Oh Joan, what can I say about this magical book? Not only do I now know how to keep my husband happy, but I also know how to throw a small dinner party for 18, and also know how to find my true sense of style and how to stick to it! Though some of it was absurd, I overall enjoyed her sense of self and knowing how to get what she wanted. What a woman!
EDIT: Just listened to Joan Crawford's reading of this wonderful classic on YouTube. So nice to hear Joan slur, er, read her way through her own magical words. If you have not had the experience of listening to Joan herself I recommend it.
EDIT: Just listened to Joan Crawford's reading of this wonderful classic on YouTube. So nice to hear Joan slur, er, read her way through her own magical words. If you have not had the experience of listening to Joan herself I recommend it.
June 15, 2017
“Charm is a touch of magic – try to make it a part of your way of life.”
Oh Billie you big lush you! This would have to be one of the most outrageous books I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Throughout this book Billie (yes I’m calling her Billie because that’s what she preferred to be called by close friends and my love for her is so strong that I don’t think she’d mind me calling her that) gives us a sneak peek into her extremely extravagant world. The lifestyle tips she gives here are really over the top and ultra-fabulous, one of the things I really appreciated was that she didn’t write this book for the rich, trophy wife kind of woman, she wrote it for the everyday working woman, and while some may think it silly to do what Joan says you have to remember that in her day, beauty and charm were paramount for a woman. Oh my, it was such a fun, campy ride!
Be it at the box office or in the board room (this book was written when Joan was working for Pepsi-Cola) Joan always exuded elegance, intelligence and charisma and if you read this book you just might too. Honestly though it has to be read to be believed. So happy it’s finally back in print.
P.S Did anyone else notice the part where Joan talks about how she let her twins plan a party in the 9th Grade and one of the items on the menu was Vodka? Really? Somehow I feel she NEVER would have allowed that, hehehe, but then again this book was so outrageous that maybe she did. Also I loved hearing more about Mamacita. I can just hear Joan yelling out "MAMACITA!"
Oh Billie you big lush you! This would have to be one of the most outrageous books I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Throughout this book Billie (yes I’m calling her Billie because that’s what she preferred to be called by close friends and my love for her is so strong that I don’t think she’d mind me calling her that) gives us a sneak peek into her extremely extravagant world. The lifestyle tips she gives here are really over the top and ultra-fabulous, one of the things I really appreciated was that she didn’t write this book for the rich, trophy wife kind of woman, she wrote it for the everyday working woman, and while some may think it silly to do what Joan says you have to remember that in her day, beauty and charm were paramount for a woman. Oh my, it was such a fun, campy ride!
Be it at the box office or in the board room (this book was written when Joan was working for Pepsi-Cola) Joan always exuded elegance, intelligence and charisma and if you read this book you just might too. Honestly though it has to be read to be believed. So happy it’s finally back in print.
P.S Did anyone else notice the part where Joan talks about how she let her twins plan a party in the 9th Grade and one of the items on the menu was Vodka? Really? Somehow I feel she NEVER would have allowed that, hehehe, but then again this book was so outrageous that maybe she did. Also I loved hearing more about Mamacita. I can just hear Joan yelling out "MAMACITA!"
November 28, 2012
Oh wow! SO COMPLETELY CRAZY!! Amazing. I sped through it. Lots of stuff about how to get your husband to let you work, or let you wear a color he thinks he doesn't like on you, what to feed to hungry men who are having business meetings in the den (sausage, or black bread with peanut butter and bacon), how important it is to be fresh always when your husband comes home, what foods to put on your face and hair, really detailed shit about entertaining, bad stuff about hippies and feminists, how to be a businesswoman yet still feminine, lots of mentions of Pepsi, how bouillon and dill pickles can stave off hunger, why her German maid is named Mamacita, reasons to look at your butt in the mirror, SO MUCH CRAZY. Oh wow. Light and bright colors, fresh air, a smile, well-scrubbed floors. The tone that is maintained throughout. Incredz.
January 6, 2014
This book was all that I hoped it to be - and more! As a fan of Miss Crawford's movies, I couldn't help but be intriqued by her insights and advice. Dry skin -JC's got you covered. Tips for a happy marriage - that's included, too. Exercise, clothing, entertaining, decorating - it's all here.
I don't buy into all of the Mommie Dearest allegations, but after reading this I do buy into what has been reported about Joan over the years: he was success-driven, disciplined, and expected the best from herself and those around here.
Not to give away too many spoilers, but it was actually a topic for my blog recently (http://myelegantmusings.blogspot.com/)
It's a hoot and a half, and full of tips worth trying.
I don't buy into all of the Mommie Dearest allegations, but after reading this I do buy into what has been reported about Joan over the years: he was success-driven, disciplined, and expected the best from herself and those around here.
Not to give away too many spoilers, but it was actually a topic for my blog recently (http://myelegantmusings.blogspot.com/)
It's a hoot and a half, and full of tips worth trying.
November 19, 2015
If you've ever wanted advice on keeping yourself beautiful, packing suitcases for a trip to Africa, or isometric exercises you can do at home, Joan's got your back. Apparently this book was dictated, and it shows, reading like a long lecture. Don't expect any juicy gossip, or even much self-reflection on her long career. But between the lines there's some fascinating stuff. Yes, there are multiple paragraphs about the "right way" to hang up clothes and wash floors ("handsies and kneesies" only). What emerges is a portrait of an obsessively driven woman who even takes her relaxation seriously. And yet somehow you sympathize with her.
May 16, 2020
A 2020 reading of this book is a wild ride. I would give it 5-stars for being an interesting time capsule of gender roles and Joan Crawford’s name-dropping, but you won’t find an universal truths or great thoughts here. Unless you count a detailed description of the ideal dinner party a revelation of course.
February 6, 2020
I could barely find anything redeeming about this book other than it is an historical/hysterical look into what a rich, narcissistic woman thought was appropriate for female behavior/looks in her time. I found myself skipping many paragraphs out of boredom.
October 13, 2007
This book is demented.
October 8, 2011
Hilarious. Just hilarious.
June 24, 2017
This book is a gift to humanity. An even greater gift: Joan's audio recording of the book. Brace yourself, she has very strong opinions about everything from moisturizer (good) to lima beans (bad).
October 15, 2021
Boring. Preachy. Hated it.
December 27, 2017
Joan Crawford is a legend and the life she leads is fabulous and over-the-top. This book encompasses her personal etiquette tips and lifestyle choices. I found it thoroughly entertaining and outrageous with its retro tips and opinions. Joan Crawford is the ultimate hostess with the mostess and she always has a frozen aspic in the freezer for emergencies along with lobster Newburg and beef bourguignon. Also, I loved that just outside Joan's large upstairs dressing room is a little compartment behind a sliding door which contains an icebox containing such delights as fresh fruit, cheese and champagne. On a shelf above is china, silverware and glassware. In fact, everything you would ever need for an instant snack. Pure class!
My favourite Joan Crawford advice/views include:
1. "...butter should come on a bed of crushed ice."
2. A wife must always have her beauty treatments finished before her husband arrives home from work. She must "be cool, collected, and captivating at six o'clock" upon his return.
3. Surround yourself in happy colours. Her favourites are "yellow, coral, hot pink and Mediterranean blues and greens."
4. "Scrubbing, for me, is the greatest exercise in the world. It gives me rosy cheeks, and I just have a ball."
5. "I wear hot and shocking pink and lovely hats" to board meetings at Pepsi-Cola.
6. "I sit on hard chairs - soft ones spread the hips."
7. To achieve a fabulous toned body "get a wheelchair and try doing your housework in it!"
8. Set up a beauty club to aid weight loss. "A woman will give up anything - from a fudge sundae to a dry martini or a grilled sandwich - to beat her fellow club members to a slim finish. She may lose a friend or two, but she'll gain loveliness, and her husband's pride and admiration. That's worth a couple of fat friends!"
9. Hippies vs young people: "Of course I wouldn't want to have hippies come crawling in with unwashed feet, but all the younger people I know are bright and attractive and have something to say. They also dress like human beings." In other words, hippies are the scum of the earth.
10. On working women: Joan believes that men worry that their wives will be too tired to go to bed with them after working a full day. However, when women have achieved things in the workplace they become charged and maybe if "he'll be too tired that night...maybe he'll get raped!" I could not stop laughing at this! Still can't!
What a crazy train of a ride this has been through the unique world of Joan Crawford. It's hilarious, wacky, fabulous and outrageous. My new year's resolution is to live just a little of Joan's way of life wearing street makeup and hostess pyjamas along the way of course! 2018 is the year I become a gal like Joan Crawford.
4 1/2 stars (Sadly just missing out on five stars because I am a feminist after all)
My favourite Joan Crawford advice/views include:
1. "...butter should come on a bed of crushed ice."
2. A wife must always have her beauty treatments finished before her husband arrives home from work. She must "be cool, collected, and captivating at six o'clock" upon his return.
3. Surround yourself in happy colours. Her favourites are "yellow, coral, hot pink and Mediterranean blues and greens."
4. "Scrubbing, for me, is the greatest exercise in the world. It gives me rosy cheeks, and I just have a ball."
5. "I wear hot and shocking pink and lovely hats" to board meetings at Pepsi-Cola.
6. "I sit on hard chairs - soft ones spread the hips."
7. To achieve a fabulous toned body "get a wheelchair and try doing your housework in it!"
8. Set up a beauty club to aid weight loss. "A woman will give up anything - from a fudge sundae to a dry martini or a grilled sandwich - to beat her fellow club members to a slim finish. She may lose a friend or two, but she'll gain loveliness, and her husband's pride and admiration. That's worth a couple of fat friends!"
9. Hippies vs young people: "Of course I wouldn't want to have hippies come crawling in with unwashed feet, but all the younger people I know are bright and attractive and have something to say. They also dress like human beings." In other words, hippies are the scum of the earth.
10. On working women: Joan believes that men worry that their wives will be too tired to go to bed with them after working a full day. However, when women have achieved things in the workplace they become charged and maybe if "he'll be too tired that night...maybe he'll get raped!" I could not stop laughing at this! Still can't!
What a crazy train of a ride this has been through the unique world of Joan Crawford. It's hilarious, wacky, fabulous and outrageous. My new year's resolution is to live just a little of Joan's way of life wearing street makeup and hostess pyjamas along the way of course! 2018 is the year I become a gal like Joan Crawford.
4 1/2 stars (Sadly just missing out on five stars because I am a feminist after all)
December 9, 2020
This was a "cute" book to read, tbh the recipes sound delicious and the hair and face masks will definitely be tried, but it was just a quick transparent book with little heart. Also, i found two typos and it's an immediate irritation. I know my reviews are not always grammatically correct, but im also not charging people for my reviews.
May 6, 2024
I could not for the life of me give legend Joan anything less than 5-stars!!!
This book read more like self-help than a memoir/autobiography but I enjoyed her pov. Trad wives would love this book lol. Though I do not cosign plenty of what it written here, this is her truth dammit.
You are a shining star miss Crawford!
This book read more like self-help than a memoir/autobiography but I enjoyed her pov. Trad wives would love this book lol. Though I do not cosign plenty of what it written here, this is her truth dammit.
You are a shining star miss Crawford!
May 28, 2019
She name drops. She fat shames. She hates starchy food. She has a distinct preference for wooden hangers and scrubbing things clean. She will spend every last penny you have and tell you that she did it to make you happy (if you are a man, that is). She has mirrors everywhere in every room of the house in front of which she practices being gorgeous and her constant isometric clenching. She hates wearing bras. Who am I talking about? I’m talking about the dearest mommie of them all, Ms. Joan Crawford! If you long for bad advice for women from an over the hill Hollywood Star written in the 1970s, get this book! It’s hilarious!
While I don’t think Joan was trying to be funny, I laughed a lot. The legendary film star definitely wrote this while floating in a La La Land bubble crafted specifically for herself, however, she is rather convinced that she can still relate to the “common woman”, who, unlike her, can still go to a clothing store to buy off the rack clothes. Old Joanie has a lot of opinions about a lot of things and she’s not afraid to tell the reader all of them. From diets she never tried, making skin masques with ingredients she has never used but heard about (just remember to do your beauty treatments before hubby comes home), keeping lobster Newburgh in the freezer for impromptu business gatherings called by your hubby at the last minute, to convincing the common gal that she must try to sound smart and interesting to please her man and keep him from looking at other girls in the office, Miss Billie lays it on the line how you, the middle aged hausfraü, are not living your life properly. It’s not your fault, though. You are just not as privileged to be as enlightened and worldly as she is. Don’t worry, this book will set you straight. Make sure you drink a Pepsi while you read and, whatever you do, don’t call her a feminist because she clearly is not one of those hippies! Those with Bette Davis eyes need not bother.
While I don’t think Joan was trying to be funny, I laughed a lot. The legendary film star definitely wrote this while floating in a La La Land bubble crafted specifically for herself, however, she is rather convinced that she can still relate to the “common woman”, who, unlike her, can still go to a clothing store to buy off the rack clothes. Old Joanie has a lot of opinions about a lot of things and she’s not afraid to tell the reader all of them. From diets she never tried, making skin masques with ingredients she has never used but heard about (just remember to do your beauty treatments before hubby comes home), keeping lobster Newburgh in the freezer for impromptu business gatherings called by your hubby at the last minute, to convincing the common gal that she must try to sound smart and interesting to please her man and keep him from looking at other girls in the office, Miss Billie lays it on the line how you, the middle aged hausfraü, are not living your life properly. It’s not your fault, though. You are just not as privileged to be as enlightened and worldly as she is. Don’t worry, this book will set you straight. Make sure you drink a Pepsi while you read and, whatever you do, don’t call her a feminist because she clearly is not one of those hippies! Those with Bette Davis eyes need not bother.
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